His Absolute Assignment - Elise's Love Story: The Billionaire's Continuum (#1) (A Contemporary Romance Novel) (17 page)

"If you trust me, then tell me."

"Fine," he said, sounding like some petulant child.  "Soon.  We need to leave immediately.  Not just because of the fire, not because of where we are, but we need to find a way out of here, into my car, and we need to go somewhere safe."

I didn't understand any of that.  Lucent was insane.  "Your apartment?" I offered.

"People know where I live, Miss Tanner.  It's hardly a satisfactory safehouse."

Yes, well, what the hell?  What did he want?  Why did we even need a
satisfactory safehouse
?  What was the point?  What was so dangerous?

My mind whirred with a myriad of questions that I wanted to shout at him.  I wanted to protest, to complain, to be curious.  I wanted Lucent.  I wanted...

"The library," I said without thinking.  Immediately after I said it, I knew I was right, though.

Lucent narrowed his eyes, frowning slightly, staring at me.  "Yes," he said.  "That might work."

Lucent and I escaped.  He led me through the expanse of tunnels hidden throughout Asher and Jessika's home.  Briefly, I wondered if Jessika knew about any of this?  Surely she must, but what if she didn't?  What if this entire place was a front for something criminal?  And Lucent was in on it?  Did Asher know?  It was his house, so he should, or that's what I thought, at least.

I didn't want this.  I didn't want to question everything.  I didn't want to believe that Lucent was a terrible person, or that Asher was part of some crime family, or whatever was going on.  I didn't even know what was going on, so trying to figure it out by concocting insane assumptions in my mind wouldn't do anyone any good, especially not me.

None of that mattered, though.  Lucent and I escaped, regardless of the circumstances surrounding us.  We hurried to one particular spot that ended—simply ended—and then Lucent did something discreet and the wall flung open and outwards, revealing a small library.  I didn't recognize the area, at least not at first.  We never paused to investigate or rest, though.  Lucent moved directly towards a flight of stairs and I followed after him, clutching the stolen box to my side, refusing to let it go.

Up, to a door, outwards, and into a living room.  I recognized this area immediately, though I hadn't been here too often: Asher's guest home.  The building loomed large, occupying more than its fair share of space alongside the fence around the Landseer estate.  My entire apartment was barely larger than the open living room in Asher's guest home.  Jessika and I had meetings here sometimes, but mostly those consisted of hanging out, watching movies, and doing nothing much.  Perhaps we needed better work ethic, I thought.  This is where we would eat cake soon, or would have eaten cake.  I didn't know if cake was still in our future, or if what happened tonight had changed everything.

I didn't get to think for much longer.  Lucent reached for my hand, holding it tight.  I stared at him, dumbfounded.  Who was this man?  Did I know him?  A part of me said yes, that I knew so much about him, that I recognized and understood him, and yet...

Another part of me disagreed.  Another part said I was a fool for thinking I knew anything about Lucent Storme, the enigmatic Director of Public Relations for Landseer Enterprises.  He put on a good front in public and acted a part in the grand scheme of the corporate world.  Lucent's life was a cog or a gear and he belonged inside of something bigger and greater, some clockwork contraption, lost from within.  That's how he acted in public, at least.

I'd seen another side of him.  A greater, caring side, that had ambition and goals of his own.  He wanted.  Lucent wanted so many things, he wanted to be so much.  He acted like he only wanted perfection in the public eye, but in private he allowed for... for what?  I wasn't exactly sure.

I wasn't perfect and I knew it and that worried me.  It wasn't just my lack of perfection in life, but I knew what sort of person Lucent wanted to have a relationship with, and I also knew that wasn't me, no matter what he said.  I tried to hide it, to act like it didn't matter, but I always knew.  I couldn't submit, I didn't understand how.  I could show him loyalty and trust, but that wasn't the same.  He wanted bondage and absolute control and all of his BDSM things.

I didn't even know what I wanted to eat for breakfast tomorrow.

I froze as we stood on the precipice of leaving the Landseer guest house and moving to the world outside.  I didn't know if I could do it.  Leaving felt like admitting something, admitting that I didn't know a lot about anything.  Leaving felt like failure in a way, but not the usual sort.  Regular people didn't get involved in these types of situations.  Regular people didn't have boyfriends who wanted to tie them up or drip wax on them or spank them.  Regular people didn't randomly find themselves having erotic encounters in a mansion bathroom, then sneaking into underground tunnels during a fire emergency, and fighting off some unknown intruder dressed in clothes of smoke and blackness.

I glanced down at the computer hard drive clutched tight beneath my arm and digging into my side.  I could end this, I thought.  I could throw it on the ground and crush it with my heel and destroy all of this.  This illusion, this foolishness.  I knew that wasn't true, but somehow it felt like it.  If I destroyed this tiny little box, my life would become regular again.  Lucent and I would leave here and go back to his apartment.  There never would have been a fire in the first place.  All of this was a dream.

Right?

No, not actually.

Lucent stood, peering through a window near the front door of the guest house.  I saw his lips fidget, eyes twitch.  He didn't want to wait, but he was waiting for me.

I made my choice.

"How do we leave?" I asked.  My fingertips pushed hard against the black box in my arms, checking to make sure it still existed, that this wasn't a dream.

"An emergency crew is here," he said.  "We need to leave calmly and quietly.  We'll exit the house and stand on the lawn for a moment, staring towards the fire, and then we'll mutter to one another, make our way towards the front gates slowly, and head to my car."

"Alright," I said.  A part of me wondered what I was agreeing to.

We left.  We moved.  No one paid us attention.  We weren't close enough to anyone to talk to them or to hear them talk outside of loud mumbling and confused uttering.  I worried.  Where was Jessika?  Did everyone make it out alright?  I'd only seen that one room, that one part of the fire, but what if it filled the mansion and spread and someone got hurt?

"I apologize," Lucent said, muttering.  A part of his plan, yes, but I didn't expect us to say anything important.  "I never intended for this to happen."

"I don't know what you mean," I said.  We moved slowly, unsure, towards the front gates.  My heels dug into the soft grass on the lawn, sticking, and I needed to force my way forward, to pull my feet up with every step I took.  "Lucent, I don't know what's going on and it scares me.  Please, tell me you aren't involved in anything dangerous?  You aren't a criminal, are you?"  There.  I asked it.  That wasn't so difficult.

He didn't say anything, though.  He didn't respond.  No muttering, just quiet contemplation.

I dropped my head, feeling dejected and lost.  Was Lucent different from the person I thought he was?  A loud cry brought me out of my thoughts and back to the reality in front of me.  Screaming in panic, yelling, Jessika Landseer stood near the mansion.  Asher stood with her, holding her.

The fire, I thought.  Yes, it must hurt to watch your home burning.  Police had the area contained to some degree, but something like this was impossible to control.  People, the media, alarm and worry; all these things were far more powerful than any fire.  Firemen surged forward, seeking to end the disaster.  They would, I thought; I hoped.  Everything would be fine.

Lucent and I arrived on the sidewalk without event.  We walked towards his car, no longer following any sort of plan.  I opened the door and let myself in.  Just as I closed it behind me, I heard Jessika crying out again.

She wasn't screaming because of the fire or her home or anything like that.  She screamed for me and Lucent.  When the car door closed, her shouts and cries vanished, muffled into nothingness.  By the anguish in her voice, she must think us dead.

The drive to the library was a blur.  Everything was a blur.  I felt like smoke, non-existent.  Who was I and what was I doing here?  Lucent pressed through traffic, quiet and calm.  Lucent knew who he was, at least.  I didn't need to know myself, because Lucent knew everything.  I thought maybe that was a lie, though.  Maybe he felt as lost and alone as me right now, but he showed it in a different way.  While I hid behind a mask of confusion, he lost himself in order and necessity.  He became his own idea of perfection in order to hide all of his anxiety and his flaws.

We parked a block away from Landseer Tower.  Lucent stopped the car, got out, and came to get me.  When he opened the door, I just stared at him.  It took me a moment, but when he offered me his hand, I accepted it and let him help me to the sidewalk.

We walked through the city, brisk and confident.  To where?  Landseer Tower?  No, we walked past it, didn't even bother looking at it.  Onwards, a block or two more, and to the library.

It was closed, of course.  Not only would it have regularly been closed by now, but I'd been here just a few hours ago and Rob told the both of us he was closing down early because of a lack of help.  A sick call.  I felt sick now; could I call out, tell my life I needed a break and I'd be home watching TV, huddled under a blanket, sipping at a bowl of soup for the next day or so?  No, probably not.

I didn't know what Lucent wanted from me, but I didn't care.  Leaving his side, striding forward, I followed the path leading alongside the library parking lot and to the back.  A keypad greeted me next to a quaint, average door, and I typed in the code to turn off the alarm.  I wasn't like Lucent, I didn't know any secrets about tunnels or crime; I used to work here and Rob never changed the code, that's all.

I stepped inside, flicked the light switch on the wall, and breathed in deep.

Home.  Sort of.  I felt safer here, more comfortable.  I probably spent more time in the library than I did anywhere else—or at least I used to—so that was my excuse.  Not that I needed an excuse.  A lot of people liked libraries, right?

Lucent entered behind me and closed the door.  I scooted past him and typed in some more numbers on the keypad inside.  We were locked in now, but without the alarm system.  Hopefully no one broke into the library, then.  Belatedly I realized that technically Lucent and I had already broken into the library.

"Are you going to explain all of this?" I asked.  Turning, I stood strong, facing him.  I expected him to get angry with me, but I didn't know why.

"I don't know how," he said.

"Well, what's this, for starters?"  I held up the computer hard drive for him to see.

"You should give that to me, Miss Tanner," he said.  Not worried or protective, but something else.  Angry?  Oh, no, I wouldn't allow Lucent to be angry with me, not after what I went through.  It wasn't his right.

"This is mine," I said.

"I believe," he interjected, "that belongs to Mr. Landseer."

"Do you?" I asked.  "I don't.  Do you know why, Lucent?  Because I've stolen it."  I didn't want to sound comical, I wanted to sound angry, but Lucent smirked, amused.

"You're a thief, then?" he asked.  "Just like that, is it?  I know you better than that, Miss Tanner.  Please, if you would give me the—"

No.  I shook my head and stomped on the floor, refusing him.  "Listen, Lucent.  You may know a lot of things, and maybe you're very intelligent sometimes.  I admit all of that.  But you don't know anything about me if you think that I'll just accept everything without question.  Do you think I enjoyed what happened tonight?"  I ignored all the parts I did enjoy.  I ignored our secret tryst in the bathroom before my reality shattered all around me.  "Why is there a secret tunnel at Asher and Jessika's house?" I asked.

Lucent reached for the black box, but I pulled it away from him.  I pulled it away, I hid it behind my back, and then I walked away from him for good measure.  He followed me, yes, but that didn't mean I'd give it to him.  Stupid, maybe, but oh well.

"You said you built it," I added.

"I didn't say that," he said.

"You were going to, but you stopped.  It's the same thing.  Now tell me."

He stared at me long and hard, considering his options.  "This isn't like you," he said finally.

"Because I'm not going to play your little control games?" I asked.  And immediately I regretted it.  Urgent, whispering, I said, "I didn't mean that.  I'm sorry, I..."

Lucent's eyes hardened as he stared at me.  "Is that what you think?"

"No, I..."

"Are you sure, Elise?  Are you positive?"

"Why are you calling me Elise?" I asked.  "Why didn't you call me Miss Tanner?"

"It's your name, isn't it?"  He spat out the words.

"You don't call me that!" I shouted.  "Don't call me that!"  I squeezed the computer hard drive in my hand, wanting to crush it in my grip.  "Stop it!  Stop all of this and just tell me what's wrong!  I'm so scared, Lucent.  I don't understand what's going on.  Why was there a fire and a man and why was there a tunnel and those ladders?  It scared me.  Do you not understand that?  Maybe this all makes sense to you, maybe it's normal and you deal with it every day, but it isn't normal to me.  I just don't know.  Who are you?  Are you Lucent?  Are you the man I know and..."  I choked back a sob, refusing to cry.  No matter what I wanted to do, I cried anyways.  "I love you," I said.  "I do, I swear it, and I don't think they're games.  I like it, but I can't."

He softened slightly, his eyes becoming warmer, easier to look at.  His jaw remained tight and clenched, though.

"I know that's what you've always wanted, Lucent.  I do.  I've looked it up, you know?  I've tried to see if I could do it somehow.  You want a slave, right?  A BDSM one, not, um... not an actual slave.  I... I thought maybe I could try to be that for you sometime, and I do try.  I pretend.  I like what we do, but I can't.  I can't just listen to everything you say and never worry about anything, because I can't.  I don't know why, but I just can't.  That's not who I am."