His Darkest Salvation (31 page)

Long moments of silence passed, and he sensed the struggle she was having as she relived her memories.

“He used to be wonderful; he used to love me,” she whispered. “I know it’s hard to believe after what you saw, but he did.”

Julian thought of the photo he’d found in her room, she’d looked happy, relaxed, and secure with her family.

“Sometimes I wish I could grab hold of what I had in the past and fix it. Keep it pure and real, but I’ve realized there are some things that you can’t change.” Their eyes met once more in the window. He saw the anger that was there. “There are things that are unforgivable.”

He knew the DaCosta history. He was well aware that Jakobi was a bastard of the highest order. What had he done to cause the hatred his daughter held for him?

“What did he do?” Julian asked as he stepped closer. She turned to him, and his eyes fell to the single tear that slowly weaved its way from the corner of her eye. It glistened like a diamond against her skin and his hand—rising of its own volition—carefully wiped it from her.

She rested her cheek into his palm, and her own crept up to hold his there. The simple gesture tugged at him.

Jaden exhaled a ragged breath, and he felt the shudder that swept over her frame. “He murdered my mother.”

Shocked silence followed her words, and Julian truly had no clue what to do or say. As dysfunctional as his own family was, murder was incomprehensible. This was the stuff of nightmares. “How . . .” He began to speak, but she nodded quickly, and he was quiet.

“I found her in the jungle, not far from the resort. She’d been shot.” Her eyes swept upward, and he stilled at the pain that lay there. “Her body was left out in the open because he knew I’d find her. Her paw had been cut off, her canines removed.” She was shaking, and Julian pulled her close, not knowing what else to do. The sensation was strange—the need to comfort—yet he welcomed it. It told him that he wasn’t dead inside. Not yet anyway.

“It was a sign. One meant to scare me back into the fold, to make me into the good girl, the obedient daughter. I’d been living with my mother since they separated. He thought I’d cower and do his bidding.” She laughed harshly. “He was wrong, just as my brothers were.”

He felt her breath against his neck and became aware that the air had changed. It was charged with an energy that pulled at him hard.

“Instead, I focused on bringing him and his organization down. They thought I was the perfect doll who only knew one word: yes. They’re fools.”

He felt the heat of her continue to grow against his skin, and his animal reacted instantly. His flesh became feverish, and his canines ached as his need to claim her rose within.

“Business deals he lost out on, contracts that were broken, all of it was because of me. He knew someone on the inside was involved in the sabotage, but always looked to his men. Never once did he think to look closer to home, to the daughter who saw her dead mother every time she looked at him.”

He listened to the frantic beat of her heart, and his own ached at the pain that laced her words. She exhaled shakily, and continued, “Then Father got deeper into the real heavy shit, and my job became harder. His security was unparalleled, and my brothers went crazy with power—all of them, from Degas the oldest down to Tomas the youngest. I couldn’t believe how thoroughly Jakobi’s darkness bled into them. Sometimes I think I could have intervened, done something to influence them, but my brothers lived to please Father.” She looked up at him then, and her voice broke. “Tomas was so young, four years younger than I. He was killed in a raid organized by PATU, after I’d joined forces with them. That is something I must live with.”

Julian held her and whispered near her ear, “We can only do so much with family. In the end, our siblings will choose their own paths. You must know there’s nothing you could have done.”

Jaden hung her head. “I’d already assembled a team of sorts, men and women who shared the same goals as I, when I was contacted by PATU. I jumped at the chance to work with them. It was the perfect opportunity to get the job done and have all the added resources I’d need. That’s what I was doing that night . . .”

He was breathing heavily and barely heard her words. “That night?”

“The night we met.” She pulled away from him and stared up into his eyes. A long strand of hair tickled its way across her face, and she blew it away impatiently. She looked earnest, her brows furled in concentration, and he fought the urge to touch her sweetly. To sweep the hair from her face and kiss her lips.

“I didn’t seduce you, Julian. I had no clue you were a Castille. I’d been sent to The Grand Hacienda to meet with a contact.” She paused, and his eyes flew open at the catch in her voice. “I should have left instead of staying for that last drink. Something kept me there. Fate? I don’t know; you were a complication I so did not want.”

“I pulled you away from the bar,” he said huskily, his eyes fixed on her lips.

Her tongue darted out, and he watched, fascinated, as it swept across the plump redness, leaving a sheen of moisture in its wake.

“Onto the dance floor,” she finished, and smiled, poking him in the chest. “You moved with such grace, your energy was unique. I knew right away”—she paused, and the way her breath caught in her throat made him ache—“that you were shifter,” she whispered.

His hands crept up to her shoulders, and he pulled her into the crook of his arms. There was no resistance, and he groaned softly as her body slid against him.

Slowly, they moved together. There was no music, no sound except the breaths that fell from their lips. He had no idea what was going on in Jaden’s head, but in his mind’s eye, he was back at The Grand Hacienda, the air was flush with the Caribbean, and heat was all around them.

He felt his cock swell and shifted his body in an attempt to alleviate the discomfort, but all it did was spread a host of sensations along nerve endings that left his skin on fire. His body was suddenly tense with need.

Her arms went around his waist, and when she ground herself against him, it felt as if he were coming apart. “I wanted you so badly that night. I don’t give a damn what you remember, it wasn’t just me. You felt the same way, and I thought . . .” Her whispered words echoed into the quiet.

“What did you think?” he asked.

Her gaze swept upward, and, for several long moments, they stared at each other in silence. After a bit, she moistened her lips, and spoke. “I knew you were a shifter, I could sense it, and I’d never felt such a connection before. My jaguar wanted you in a way that hurt.”

“Why did I not recognize you as such?”

“I wear a cloaking charm when on assignment.” She looked away. “It’s not always stable in times of great . . . emotion. It slipped from me the moment I claimed you.”

Julian stilled at her words. The raw honesty that he sensed grabbed the little bit of his soul that still existed. Her pain was huge, and he felt every bit of it.

He asked the question that he wanted most answered. “Why did you claim me as your mate?”

She bit her lip, and he could see her confusion, her pain. “I’ve thought about it a lot. Why would I screw with my future and mate with a man I knew nothing about?” Her eyes widened. “I don’t have an answer other than it felt right. In that moment, I knew you were the one to complete me. It was like I had no control. I was weak and let my body lead me down a path that has been filled with nothing but pain. When you saw what I was.” She bowed her head, and he felt her shame as her voice dropped to just above a whisper, “When you rejected me . . . I can’t even describe how that made me feel.”

Julian didn’t know what to say. Everything was true. All of it. That night . . . he’d had the best sex of his life, several times over in fact. Something about her had been different; he was a fool not to have noticed earlier.

For the longest time, he’d avoided anything that was otherworld, especially the shifters. He was a refined CEO of a major conglomerate known the world over, and a shapeshifting jaguar had no place in that world. Not with him, anyway.

It spoke to a heritage he had no interest in, a legacy he would never claim.

Julian grimaced. Fuck, Mr. Cosmic Mojo had kicked his ass thoroughly.

He remembered coming down from the heady release of an overwhelming orgasm and knowing that something had changed. He’d seen the air move around her body, shimmering as it played along the soft golden skin that he’d just tasted. Her eyes glowed, and he’d sensed the animal that lay just beneath her flesh.

She was wild, untamed, and, to his horror, represented everything he did not want to recognize in himself.

Julian groaned and closed his eyes, wishing the memories would fade. He still saw the hurt and disbelief in her eyes when he’d tossed ten one-hundred-dollar bills onto the bed and asked that she leave immediately.

That was the last time he’d seen Jaden until that night in Belize before the portal had gone AWOL, along with him.

She exhaled raggedly. “I watched you from afar like a pathetic loser. I knew your every move, who you slept with, who you dated.”

She turned to him, and the silence in the room fell heavy on his ears. Her eyes glittered dangerously, and he saw her shame. What it cost her to confess to him.

“It killed me because you belonged to me even though you had no clue. I was the one-night stand of regret. A mistake to forget about. A dirty shifter.” She shrugged and ran her hands through the long bands of hair that fell about her shoulders. “And here we are, and everything still sucks.”

“I am one dumb-ass son of a bitch.”

“Yeah, you are.” He sensed her anger, mingled with pain, and realized that he felt the same.

He shook his head. “I have no words, Jaden, other than sorry.” He pushed her away. “It’s too late to make things right. I would if I could.”

Julian dragged great gulps of air into his lungs and tried to focus his mind. It was hard when her scent was everywhere. He wanted her. Badly. He thought of the night before and how he’d taken her in the temple, and he knew he could not use her again. Not like that.

He might be a grade-A bastard, but he was drawing the line.

“You say it’s too late,” she whispered. Julian tensed when her hands slid along his arm and across his abs as she stood in front of him.

“You may be right, but we only have a few hours left before we leave for Vegas. I have no clue what’s going to happen when we get there.” She rubbed his chest and surprised him when she ripped his T-shirt from neck to hem, her long nails exposing the damaged flesh beneath.

He hissed as her fingers gently traced the scars that were there. “My control isn’t what it should be,” he managed to get out from between clenched teeth.

“Good,” she said, her voice thick, “because right now my control is gone, and what I want is standing in front of me.” She bent, and he saw red as her tongue gently traced the symmetrical scars on his chest. “And that would be you.”

She pushed away, turned, and his gaze immediately fell to her ass. The jeans that she wore should be fucking illegal. His mouth watered, and he felt the beast stir within.

“I have a surprise. You coming?” she tossed over her shoulder before disappearing from view.

Julian was stunned. A few minutes before, he’d pushed her away, yet he couldn’t deny the part of him that ached for her. For her touch and scent and taste. For the calm that he felt when she was near.

The echo of her steps faded, and, suddenly, it was as if a fire had been lit under his ass. He moved quickly to follow.

Hell yeah, I’m coming.

Chapter 23

J
ulian followed her scent down the hall until it connected to a long corridor that ran perpendicular to the main house. He heard her ahead, her soft footfalls, and he quickened his pace, enjoying the game as his animal reveled in the hunt.

The light in the corridor was muted, and he caught trace signatures of his brothers and their women. They’d all been this way within the last several hours. When he reached the end, he paused in front of a door. It was open several inches, and a whisper of heat caressed his face.

His nostrils flared, and the scents that he pulled into his lungs were entirely out of place here in the land of snow and ice. He inhaled the warmth of jungle, cool water, and abundant greenery. It ignited such a need in him that he growled loudly as he pulled back the door and stepped inside.

His white teeth slashed through the charcoal darkness in a feral smile as he looked around, surprised to hear the call of a wailer monkey and the cry of a toucan. He’d heard about Jaxon’s jungle room back at his former headquarters for PATU and wasn’t surprised he’d replicated it here in the Canadian wilderness.

A splash sounded to his right, and he started to pant as he carefully picked his way through the vines and earth at his feet. Jaxon had spared no expense, and Julian marveled at how rich the room felt. A soft glow fell from above, and he realized the entire ceiling was glass, enabling him to look out onto an arctic sky and yet he was toasty warm inside a jungle.

Unbelievable.

He felt layers of darkness slip from his skin as Jaden’s subtle scent settled inside him. She calmed the beast and allowed some sense of peace. His eyes narrowed as his heartbeat increased, and he focused on one thing—Jaden.