HIS Desire: An H.I.S. Novel (H.I.S. series Book 1) (18 page)

She turned to AJ. “You don’t need to be here. I don’t need a babysitter.”

She’d let Jesse inside because. . . well, she didn’t know why, but she didn’t need someone inside her home, invading her space. There were five men outside protecting her.

She felt her temper rise and knew it would be misplaced at AJ. No, Jesse deserved it for leaving her home and for thinking she needed a shadow to take care of her. She didn’t need AJ or Matt. She did notice that Jesse had chosen Matt over Brad to protect her.

They strolled into the living room and sat.

“I thought you and I could go through the case.”

“Thank you, AJ.” She almost jumped up and hugged him. “Not being in the action has made me miserable and feeling useless.”

He chuckled. “Have no fear. Your partner has arrived to save the day.”

She loved AJ’s sense of humor. As a happy-go-lucky man, he enjoyed life, no matter what happened. She wished she could keep his constant positivity. But life had screwed with her.

“I have someone for you to check out. Do you know Elizabeth, who hangs around Jesse?”

“I do. The woman thinks she’s in love with Jesse. Big pain in the ass. What about her?”

“She threatened me. It’s probably nothing, but since we’re not certain who was behind the chocolate, I thought you should check her out. Jesse brushed it off.”

AJ rubbed his hand over his face. “I agree with Jesse, but I’ll still talk with her.”

“That’s all I ask. Now where are things?”

They discussed the case, and after Matt arrived, AJ left. Even with Matt in the apartment, it felt empty without Jesse. She felt alone again, abandoned and aggravated that his presence or lack thereof, impacted her emotions like they did.

What was she going to do? Last night she’d almost caved. His kisses had almost been overpowering.

She’d surprised herself when she’d found the strength to tell him
no
when her body had been screaming
yes
.

He’d asked her what if it was more. For a moment, she thought that she meant something to him. Then he’d said he didn’t know. It had just been a line to get her into bed. And it had almost worked.

She groaned. As a lost cause, she would lose this battle in more ways than one. It was only a matter of when.

* * * * *

Jesse returned with a gruff attitude, so Kate stayed out of his way. The tension between them was almost unbearable. Matt tried to converse with Jesse, gave up and left.

They prepared and ate dinner without muttering an unnecessary word. She only knew one way to fix things, and she still wasn’t sure it was the right thing for her.

When Kate heard Jesse talking to his daughter, she decided to take a well-earned, lengthy, relaxing, bubble bath. She ran the water hot enough for her skin to turn red. The hotter the water the better. She sat in the tub, enveloped herself in bubbles and inhaled the soothing lavender scent. Instant relaxation flowed through her body.

Before leaning back, she always blew bubbles in the air for her dog to chase. Kate’s full-hearted laughter filled the room. When Dottie finished playing, she circled and plopped down on the rug by the bathtub.

Leaning back, she made sure to keep her hair from getting wet by pulling it up on top of her head with a clip. She looked like Pebbles from the Flintstones. It didn’t matter, no one could see her. She had a locked door between them.

Soft music from her iPod played. When her thoughts drifted to Jesse and their heated kisses. She picked up the book she’d started earlier in the day while Matt baby-sat. She liked romantic suspense novels. They always had a happy ending. Well, except one she read. That author was lucky Kate hadn’t known where she lived because Kate wanted to give her a piece of her mind for killing off the hero. So what he left a pregnant woman behind to bring his child into the world. The hero was not supposed to die.

She read a few pages in the book before she realized the plot almost mirrored her life. Her life was at risk and some super sexy, macho, alpha male was protecting her. Would it end like the book? The suspense part would because they
would
find the killer. As for the romance part, she knew better. There was no happily-ever-after with Jesse. She reminded herself that she was a woman facing the harsh reality of a life of loneliness.

She closed her eyes and couldn’t fight it as her mind flooded with visions of Jesse. Her and Jesse in bed. Her, Jesse and Reagan as a family. Her eyes popped open wide at that thought. She had no idea how she’d be as a mother, but she wouldn’t mind being one to Jesse’s daughter, especially if it brought him along.

The fact that they would never happen didn’t stop her from fantasizing about them as a family. She could easily fall in love with both of them. Heck, she was probably already half in love with Jesse.
Whoa.
She worked to bring herself down from the cloud she’d climbed on. She had to be realistic. None of it would ever happen. Why did she torture herself?

From beside the bathtub, her cell phone rang.

“Hello, Mary.”

“Kate, I need you,” Mary whispered.

She sat up straight, water sloshed over the side of the bathtub and Dottie jumped up and barked.

“What’s wrong, Mary?”

“Dan was here. I think I’m really hurt.”

Son of a bitch.
“I’m on my way. Don’t open the door to Dan if he comes back.” She should’ve arrested him the other day no matter what Mary had said.

“I won’t. Thank you, Kate.”

She looked at her relaxing bath and sighed. Mary needed her, so this would have to wait. She got out of the tub, pulled the drain and wrapped herself in a large, white, fluffy, bath towel. She dried off and dressed in record time. Looking in the mirror, she laughed. She’d almost forgotten to let her hair down. No makeup, she decided, since time was of the essence. Besides, her face was still bright red from the heat of the water.

Jesse was talking on the phone and didn’t pay her any mind. She sat down and put on her tennis shoes. Maybe she could get out of there without him. She didn’t know how Mary would react to Kate bringing him again. Not when she sounded so desperate.

Besides, the agents would be there with her. Protecting her.

She stood and grabbed her keys when a large hand clamped down hard on hers.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

“Something’s wrong. Mary needs me, and I’m going to see her.”

“You’re not going without me.” He still held his hand over hers, refusing to let her pick up her keys.

She didn’t have time to debate this with him. Mary needed her now. Besides, if Dan showed back up, it’d be good to have Jesse along. “Well, hurry up then. We need to leave now.” She tapped her foot on the floor.

Jesse put on his shoes, put his hand on her back and ushered her out the door. On the drive to Mary’s, she was fretful. After checking to make sure they weren’t being followed, he reached over and took her hand in his. She held on tight.

Mary had only called Kate once before to go the hospital, and it had been bad. This had to stop.

“What’s this big emergency? Is that asshole there?”

“Dan paid Mary a visit. She says she’s hurt.”

“Son of a bitch.”

She chuckled. “Those were my thoughts exactly.”

They had to park a good distance from Mary’s house and didn’t wait for her protective details. They walked fast, and Jesse held her hand the entire time, tugging her along.

At the sight of the broken door, Jesse pulled his weapon. He nodded at Kate, and she knocked. “Mary, it’s me, Kate.”

Mary opened the door and Kate stared. Dan had done a number on her.

“You can come in. He’s not here.” She stepped aside to let them enter, keeping her face down to hide the damage.

Jesse put away his weapon.

“Mary, let me look at you.” She knew now wasn’t the time to bring up the broken door. Dan had never broken in before. Mary must have refused to let him in. Why hadn’t she called 911 or them?

“I called you because I think I have a broken rib. I’m shaking so badly that I can’t drive myself to the hospital.” Mary’s voice sounded broken, weak and filled with something that sounded like regret.

“Of course, we’ll take you. Do you have any other injuries?”
Except a black and blue face.

“No, that’s it.”

Kate noticed how painful taking a breath was for Mary. She wanted to kill Dan. “Let’s go then.”

Mary followed them out to Jesse’s SUV. On the drive to the emergency room, Kate realized Jesse hadn’t said anything to her or Mary since they’d arrived. He’d conferred with his men while she’d spoken with Mary at the apartment. His jaw clenched. His muscles tightened. He looked like he wanted to kill someone. Dan seemed to have that effect on people.

They arrived at the familiar emergency room. The one Kate sat in to learn Joy had died. The sorrow she felt for Joy almost overtook the sorrow for Mary. She had a friend in trouble. She had to be strong for her. She had to put Joy to the back of her mind for right now. “At least it doesn’t look like a long wait.”

When they called Mary, she asked Kate to go with her.

Dr. Rodriguez examined Mary and sent her for x-rays. Thankfully, her ribs were only bruised and not broken. He wrapped them tight and gave her a prescription for the pain.

You could hear a pin drop with the silence in the SUV on the ride to Mary’s. No one brought up what should be done next. Kate wasn’t sure how Mary would react to that conversation at this moment.

They walked Mary to her door which had been hastily repaired. Jesse took the keys from her and checked out her apartment. She held Mary back at the door.

Leaning to Kate, she whispered, “What’s he doing?”

“He’s doing what he does. He’s checking for bad guys, checking for Dan.” She doubted Dan had returned, but Jesse checked anyway.

“Oh.”

He returned and handed Mary her keys. He spoke for the first time since leaving Mary’s house. “I’m leaving a man outside your door in case Dan comes back.”

Kate’s heart melted a little at his gesture. He endeared himself to her with his concern for her friend.

“I’ll be okay. You don’t need to do that.”

“It’s done. Mary, this is Les. Les, this is Mary.” Mary stared at the tall, broad shouldered man wearing a weapon on his hip and a cowboy hat.

He removed his hat and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, ma’am,” he said with a true southern drawl.

His large hand swallowed her small one. “Nice to meet you, too.”

“I’ll be right outside, ma’am. Make sure to lock the door and don’t open the door to anyone but me.”

Mary looked at him, wide-eyed, and nodded.

“Okay, let’s go.” Jesse ushered Kate out of the apartment.

When they returned to his SUV, Jesse banged his hands on the steering wheel three times, saying
son of a bitch
with each hit. “That bastard has gone too far. Will she finally press charges?”

“I’ll talk to her tomorrow about it. She was too fragile tonight.”

“It’s time for that asshole to know that I meant what I said,” she heard him mutter under his breath.

She suspected this was the last time Dan would ever bother Mary.

When they arrived at Kate’s apartment, Jesse told her good night and went upstairs without even trying to take her to bed. She should have been happy he’d backed off, but she wasn’t. She didn’t like the loss it created in her heart.

Around midnight she woke to the sound of AJ entering the apartment and Jesse leaving. Was it Reagan? Was she okay? Or, was it to meet with another woman since she wasn’t meeting his sexual needs? Her blood boiled thinking he might be going to another woman. If he’d give her a relationship, a future, she’d willingly jump into his bed. If only.

* * * * *

It rained the day of Joy’s funeral. That didn’t stop the large showing of her family and friends.

Jesse stood by Kate’s side wearing a fitted, black suit and black raincoat. He held a black umbrella over the both of them. She looked down and saw the water running off his black shoes. She suddenly hated black.

Her gaze moved to their clasped hands, and she wondered what to make of it since he’d avoided her the day before.

Even she and Jesse’s problems couldn’t override the undeniable truth that it was her fault Joy had died. She’d been the target. She’d given the chocolates to Joy. The heavy weight of guilt lay on her shoulders, and the outrage at the unknown killer racked her body.

She looked from their intertwined hands back up at the casket. Tears slowly found their way down her cheeks.
My fault
was what she kept repeating in her mind.

Joy had been such a great person, full of laughter and always had a kind word to say. Dottie loved her. Why did it have to be Joy and not her? It was supposed to be her. She didn’t want to die, but she didn’t want anyone to die in her place.

I’m sorry, Joy.

Joy’s parents were devastated. How could she face them? Would they blame her for Joy’s death?

Kate scanned the crowd and noticed Doug with red-rimmed eyes. He and Joy had fought the night before she’d died. They hadn’t had time to make up. He must be torn up inside knowing the last words to her were in anger.

Lost in thought, she barely heard the preacher give the final prayer.

Most of the mourners visited the Ryan’s after the service. She hated socializing after a funeral. Was it supposed to be subdued and sorrowful for the deceased? Or joyful, remembering their life?

“Mrs. Ryan, I’m so sorry.” She held Joy’s mother’s hand, not knowing what else to say.
Sorry I killed your daughter
didn’t seem to be the right thing.

She smiled at Kate. “Joy loved you and Dottie. She said you were the best boss she’d ever had.”

Some kind of boss. She’d given her poison.

Mrs. Ryan squeezed Kate’s hand. “Don’t you go blaming yourself for this, sugar. It wasn’t your fault.”

Her eyes watered, blurring her vision. Damn this asshole. “We’re going to find out who did this. I’m not going to rest until he’s behind bars.” Or dead.

* * * * *

Jesse held Kate’s hand as they walked to the SUV. Joy’s death had finally settled in, and he worried how she was taking it. He knew she blamed herself, but the blame should really lie with him. He was the reason all of this started. He’d brought death to her friend.