His House of Submission (15 page)

He was sitting in the biggest drawing room, hunched forward, hands steepled with fingertips over his mouth, when I found him. He didn't look up when I came in.

‘So.' I spoke into strangely deadened air. ‘What's going to happen?'

He watched me walk towards him. He didn't hold out a hand or anything, so I sat in the armchair. Acres of space seemed to lie between us, though it was only a couple of feet in reality.

‘I don't know yet,' he said. ‘My lawyer's making some calls, trying to see if he can spike it. If not, he'll have to shoot for an injunction. It might be too late. We'll just have to wait and see.'

‘What's the video?'

He looked away from me, towards a large Fragonard painting on the wall, packed with merry creatures disporting themselves in green pastures. Just as we had been doing, not so long ago.

‘Shit,' he said quietly. ‘There's another call I have to make. I have to warn her.' He slapped his palm against his forehead. ‘Fuck.'

‘The videotape's definitely gone?'

‘Definitely. Why didn't I burn it? God, why?'

‘Jasper. I'm really worried. What's on it?'

‘It's not
what's
on it so much. It's standard BDSM play, though it could be misinterpreted, of course. It's
who's
on it.'

‘So who's on it?'

‘Ava Rose.'

‘Ava Rose! Who married the –'

‘The King of Saxenland. Yes. Her.'

‘Oh, bloody hell.'

Queen Ava had filled the void in the worldwide public appetite for beautiful royal women left by Diana's death. She had been the most photographed, most written-about, most idolised and most scrutinised woman in the world ever since her engagement to the European monarch was announced nine years before.

The presses, from Alaska to Australia, were going to explode with the heat of this story.

‘Yeah,' said Jasper contemplatively. ‘Bloody, as you say, hell. Look, if you want to get out of here before the circus starts –'

‘No,' I said. ‘I want to stay with you.'

He finally looked at me.

‘I should send you home,' he said.

‘I wouldn't go.'

He shook his head. ‘Silly. But thank you. And now I really have to make that call. Would you mind …?'

I left the room, wishing I could stay and listen in to Jasper's hotline to royalty. I tried to cast my mind back and recall if I'd ever read something about him and Ava Rose seeing each other, but nothing sprang to mind. Surely it would have been in all the magazines. He was pretty popular in that hospital soap, and she was the hot TV presenter of the day. It must have been a purely sexual arrangement.

It won't last. It never does.

I sat on the stairs, then thought better of it and stood up, contemplating the dark wood panelling that stretched above me and on all sides, making a mental inventory of all the pictures and
objets
in the hall. There were loads, and I was still only halfway through when Jasper opened the living room door. He looked pale and a bit sweaty.

‘That's done,' he said ominously. ‘And at least there are better lawyers than mine on the case now. Let's go to bed.'

‘Bed?' I stood up, confused. ‘It's five o'clock in the afternoon.'

‘The phone's going to ring like fury from now until tomorrow morning. We might as well grab what rest we can while it's quiet.'

Still exhausted from the open air activity, we lay in each other's arms, waiting. The waiting kept us awake, so we talked.

He told me all about his brief affair with Ava. They had bonded at some TV awards and quickly – accidentally – recognised their mutual interest in BDSM. They had made a pact to meet in secret and play scenes once a month. Jasper had promised to destroy the one film he had made, but somehow had never been able to bring himself to. The affair had ended when Ava met the Saxenlandish Prince.

‘I should have burnt it there and then,' he groaned. ‘I was a fool.'

‘You weren't to know that Will was going to snoop around your private belongings,' I said.

‘I should have been prepared for it. People pry; it's part of human nature. I was so careful with that cupboard. I kept it locked.'

‘I think he must have some kind of master key.'

‘I made him hand them all over when he left.'

‘Well, he obviously had an extra one, or how would he have been able to keep breaking in whenever he fancied?'

Jasper turned to me with one eye open and I went cold all over, realising my mistake.

‘Whenever he fancied? He was in here more than once?'

‘Maybe,' I mumbled. ‘Oh God. I'm sorry. I should have told you.'

‘Told me what?' He had sat up straight now and his expression frightened me.

‘I saw him once before. That day we had the picnic by the lake.'

‘You didn't tell me.'

‘I … I just didn't want to … make trouble.'

‘Make trouble? What the fuck do you think
this
is? What did he do? What did he say?'

‘He just made vague threats. Said he was going to get even and all that kind of thing. I thought he was just blowing off steam.'

‘Well, you thought wrong, didn't you? Jesus Christ, Sarah.'

‘I'm sorry,' I pleaded.

His cold fury had the better of him.

‘Get out of here,' he said. ‘I don't want you here. Go on.'

‘I don't want to leave you –'

‘I don't care what you want. You've had your fun. Now get out.'

It was difficult to leave the room in a dignified manner when I was buck naked and my backside scored with birch welts, but I tried my best. I only broke down in tears once I'd made it into my own little room.

I packed my bags and took them downstairs. The last thing I heard before I shut the front door was the shrill of Jasper's mobile phone.

I loaded my bags into the boot of my car and drove to the village. I almost carried on past the crossroads towards the motorway and home, but something made me park the car by the war memorial in the village centre and head into the pub.

A few enquiries were enough to get me Will's address, and I ran through the streets to the new-build development on the edge of the fields.

He was outside, watering the plants in his postage-stamp-sized garden when I pulled up at his gate, massively out of breath and bent double.

‘Oh, look what the wind blew in,' he said, putting down his hosepipe and wandering over to the gate. ‘You got out while the going was good, did you?'

‘Why did you do it, you bastard?' I panted.

‘Not a very nice way to greet your lover.'

‘Ex-lover.'

He shrugged.

‘Come in. I'll brew up.'

‘Don't bother. I just want to see if I can stop it.'

He opened the gate and waved me down the path.

‘Stop what?'

‘This horrible thing you've done. Can't you contact whoever you gave the tape to and tell them you don't want to run it? Whatever they've paid you, can't you give it back? I'm sure Jasper could match whatever their offer was.'

‘Yeah, yeah, Jasper the man. Gets what he wants, uses it, throws it away.'

Will's bitter tone made my heart sink.

‘Take a seat,' he invited, once we were in his cramped living room.

I sat gingerly on the fake-leather sofa. The birch welts throbbed.

‘It's not about Jasper. It's about the other person involved. Have you given a second's thought to the implications for her?'

‘You?'

‘No, you dingbat. Ava. Queen Ava.'

He looked through the window for a moment, his lips pinched.

‘Listen, Will. I'll do whatever it takes to stop this happening. Is there anything I can do? Anything you want from me? I'll give it to you if you get that videotape back.'

Will stared.

‘Christ, he's really got you well trained, hasn't he? Got you whoring yourself to save his skin. Gotta hand it to him.'

‘No, you're wrong. He doesn't know I'm here. Besides, we're finished.'

‘Finished? Really? So he did what he always does, then. Took his fill and pushed the plate away.'

‘I don't know about that.'

There was a silence.

‘He's called Ava's people. I imagine her lawyers will come down on you like a ton of bricks. This is so much more serious than simple theft.'

‘The newspaper promised not to name me.'

‘You think heavyweight international lawyers can't get past a worthless promise from a tabloid rag?'

‘Shut up, Sarah. OK then. Let me fuck you the way he does and I'll see what I can do.'

I hesitated. I really didn't want this, and I didn't think it would make any difference anyway. If the tape was in the hands of the press, the game was over. Even if the lawyers got their injunction, it would leak out on to the internet at some point. It was inevitable. I'd been trying to appeal to Will's conscience. I'd failed.

‘The way he does?' I said.

‘Yeah. Why does he get to dominate you? You never let me treat you like that.'

‘I didn't think it was your scene.'
I didn't want you that way. I didn't trust you. Turns out my instincts were right as well.

‘Bend over then, and I'll show you whether it's my scene or not, sweetheart.'

‘I'm already a little …'

‘Yeah, I saw what he did to you, remember? But it's just a little pain, darling, and you like that.'

He'd grabbed hold of my wrist and pulled me up from the sofa.

I screamed and tried to wrench myself away, knocking an iPod speaker off the coffee table. We fell into a wrestling match that ended on the floor, me crying and gasping for breath, him swearing and pinning me to the ground.

‘Do you like rape play?' he snarled, looming over me. ‘I bet you do. You like it rough. No means yes and all that.'

‘Get off me!'

‘That's it, baby, that's the way to play the scene.'

‘I mean it.'

‘I bet you let
him
rape you.'

I kicked the coffee table again and something else fell off. From the corner of my eye I caught sight of Jasper's handwriting on the label. ‘
June 2000
.'

‘It's the tape!' I exclaimed, struggling even harder to release myself from Will's grip. ‘How come you've still got it?'

His fingers loosened and he looked over at the tape, distracted for just long enough for me to bring my knee up hard into his groin.

‘Fuck!' he bellowed, toppling backwards, releasing me.

I snatched up the videotape and leaped up into the doorway, ready to slam it in his face if he tried to pursue me.

‘Did you make a copy?' I asked.

He panted angrily for a few moments then muttered, ‘No.'

‘So what's it doing here?'

‘I haven't sent it to anyone. I was bluffing. I wouldn't do that to Queen Ava.'

Words. Where were the words? Why wouldn't they come?

‘I just wanted to teach Jasper Jay a lesson,' he said. ‘Fucking high and mighty fucking twat. Just wanted to scare him and split you up.'

‘But … but … he's been on to his lawyers and the press. Everyone's going to know there's some dodgy tape. God, I hope they haven't mentioned Ava's name! But I guess … they wouldn't … oh, sod this. I've got to go.'

I left Will trying to get back to his feet and catch me, but I had a good few yards' advantage and I flew back to the car, heart pounding.

I was almost too strung up to drive, my hands shaking and the road back to Jasper's estate seeming strangely unfamiliar and out of focus, but I somehow got to the house without any collisions and sped up the drive. If it hadn't been for the gravel, I think my tyres would have actually squealed when I slammed on the brakes by the front door.

I dropped my key three times before I could wrestle it into the lock, but finally I rushed into the hallway and called for Jasper.

‘Jasper! It's OK. I've got it. I've got the tape.'

I heard his bedroom door bang and his feet on the stairs. I prayed that his face wouldn't be that cold, dead-eyed version I'd last seen on him.

‘What are you talking about? What are you doing here?'

He appeared on the landing. I proffered the videotape.

‘This is it, isn't it?'

He rushed down and snatched it from me.

‘God, I hope so,' he said, and took it into his office.

I followed him and looked over his shoulder as he fed the tape into one of his cameras and pressed play.

In the little screen, I could see only greyness at first, then a bed with cuffs attached to each one of its four posts, viewed through a doorway. There was a woman on the bed, but it wasn't until the end of a long tracking shot ending at the footboard that she became clearly and definitively Ava Rose. Despite the blindfold, it was obvious that those tethered wrists and ankles belonged to the Queen of Saxenland.

‘This is it,' said Jasper, exhaling massively. ‘Oh God. This is it. Shit. I think I'm going to have to sit down.'

He sank into his office chair and put his head between his knees.

I wanted to go over and rub his shoulders or perform some other action of a soothing nature. But perhaps that would draw attention to me and he'd remember that he'd sent me away.

Instead, I looked at the camera. The tape was still running, but fast-forwarded, so that Jasper and Ava played their scene at a comic speed. Cane strokes fell too quickly and there was much epic thrusting and thrashing. It looked like fun. I wondered if Ava had that much fun now.

When Jasper looked up, his eyes were bloodshot. I couldn't interpret the look on his face – was it anger, sadness, curiosity, contemplation, what?

‘I've got some calls to make,' he said. ‘Go and get us a brandy, love, would you?'