His Last Fire

H
IS
L
AST
F
IRE

Alix Nathan

H
IS
L
AST
F
IRE

W
hen France plunged towards terror in 1789 England looked on amazed, apalled. Enlightened England! Among the criminals executed before the debtors' door at Newgate that March was a woman condemned for coining. The men were hanged, the woman burned at the stake. Jack was ten, a shrimp of a lad. His father drifted along with the crowds and seeing little in the crush, sat Jack upon his shoulders to report and learn the consequences of wrong-doing.

Pinned by his father's hard grip on his legs he watched the shrieking woman in her coarse gown hustled onto the pyre. Bound, hands, feet and neck, her shuddering moans were suddenly strangled into silence as the stool was snatched from under her. The neatly constructed pile of faggots lit with ceremony soon caught, but Jack longed for the fire to blaze up faster, to roar and consume that terrible, contorted face so that he would no longer have to see it. He willed the flames to rise, to burn, to purge, as he'd willed them ever since.

Now, the century's wheel having turned, he made a good if erratic living. There was danger, though no more than most endured, except the rich. His method was fool-proof. He would find the weakness, the Achilles heel of a building: a mass of wormy wood in the structure, glass that would burst in heat, hay in an attached coach house. He'd call at the back gate, Lieutenant Tom Carlisle, wounded at Cape St Vincent, be admitted from pity and discover places for ignition, ways in and out, who and how many lived there. At night, crutch, bandages, naval coat stowed, he'd return to start the fire. Spark, smoke, gusts of spurting flame. As a youth he'd stolen his father's tinder-box and lit fires in alleys, empty yards, dry ditches. Spark, smoke, spurting flame – the same pattern.

But arson alone is not lucrative. Once a building was alight, he'd sound the alarm as though he'd noticed flames while passing and urgently, gently hand the occupants out into the safety of the street. Brave Jack Cockshutt! Always the last to leave the burning building, he emerged through folds of smoke and flocculating ash, his pockets discreetly filled; for often meanness overcame relief in the size of his reward.

It was easy the night of the great storm. Wary of becoming too familiar in London he set off for Liverpool. It was thunderous June and, before the three-inch hailstones fell, lightning had struck the chimney of an attorney's house in the city, travelling through the attics, shattering a staircase window, along bell-wires into bedrooms and down into the kitchen where the servants cowered. It was simple to enter at the back stairs and pocket a fistful of jewels before pulling the lawyer and his wife, smoking slightly, from their splintered bed.

Later, when the worst was over, he joined them on their knees in the parlour to thank the Lord for sparing them. He thanked a Lord in whom he couldn't believe.

He chose lodgings according to the age and condition of the landlord – the older and drunker the better. A degree of squalor was worth enduring if it ensured less suspicion. Still, Jack kept himself shaved and clean and when not playing the Lieutenant he would stroll the streets like any gentleman of leisure, his bearing fine and upright, his features strong, his countenance open. Back in his room he would look at his face in the glass and wonder.

He never courted a woman, rarely had a drab, for memory always intervened. It was enough to see women smile, to watch their faces relax in relief; to receive a bag of sovereigns from the men. He always left quickly, his desire for escape perceived as modesty.

His biggest blaze was the opera house. He dodged in by a side door and made his way to the highest floor beneath the roof, a kind of gallery above the stage. He climbed over machinery and stared down at dancers practising their steps to a spinet. Like a god he gazed, charmed and alarmed by these women in their rough linen practice jackets. His memory flickered; yet they chattered and pranced without concern.

Around him, among the winding gear, pulleys, handles and wires, lay piles of rubbish, discarded back-cloths, rope, theatre bills and scraps of material. He bundled paper and rags into balls and dipped them in jars of grease near the machinery wheels. He lit two, tossed them toward the musicians' pit, watched them flare. As the music stopped and dancers screamed and fled he lobbed the rest onto the emptying boards and rushed for the stairs. He escorted the last few dancers onto the street and retreated with everyone else to a safe distance.

From where he watched a spectacle of the greatest brilliance. Smoke and flames rose in enormous breaths, exhaling sheets of singed music and ash flakes, and as these dropped about him wine bottles from the cellars exploded into a gorgeous flaming column. He moved back from the heat, transfixed by the luteous, rubescent spiral of flame that lit the still night of London like day, lividly licking church spires, causing the cross on St Pauls to shine out.

But that was of another order. It helped him not a jot towards rent or victuals; instead gave him an artist's pleasure. It was a beautiful thing, wondrous. Nor was he alone in thinking so. He heard the other spectators' remarks and read a fine description in the newspapers. Far grander than the account of the Turkish ambassador's carriage breaking down.

*

This would be his last fire. The girl had taken his heart when he'd believed himself content to live alone. Her sweet upward look as she answered the door to him had loosened his soul.

‘Mrs Cantley is busy, but she will surely not object.'

Mrs Cantley was the housekeeper, he supposed. The girl led him along a dark corridor to the kitchen where, mindful of his crutch and bandaged foot, she offered him a stool. She brought tea and a piece of bacon while he made mental notes of doors, locks and stairways.

He told his usual story: victorious advance under Admiral Jervis, shots from the Spanish three-decker, humiliating need to beg from house to house. Her round-faced kindness tempted him to embellish, but he couldn't; he'd rather have minimised the fiction, unburdened himself.

Polly, baptised Mary, had been in service now for eighteen months, since 1807. Yes, she liked the position. Her work was hard but there was plenty to eat, the mistress was fair and she could visit her family once a year.

The room was cavernous; one window barred the light. Yet to him it glowed with her cheerfulness. Her small mouth, making little movements as he spoke, laughed readily. A woman who had not suffered, who would not.

The conversation was prosaic; his feelings soared. He made up his mind: a last fire. He'd lead an honest life – set up as a locksmith – marry Polly, take succour from her happiness. One final fire, to impress her, to gain her.

The house belonged to a chandler rich enough to live some distance from his shop. Jack thought to fire the upper floor of the coach house, close to the back of the main building. He himself would enter through the door Polly had opened to him, its lock being weak, and rescue her either from the kitchen regions where maids sometimes slept or from the attics.

Stars were out; clouds smeared a small moon. He removed a pane and climbed through the window of the stable. The horses stirred; he'd let them out shortly. He pulled himself onto the coach roof and set his tarred rags in between the boards above, which doubled as floor for the hayloft.

He could hear noises overhead from the groom sleeping in the hay and as soon as the rags were alight he ran round with a hayfork. The hayloft door over the street was closed; he reached up with the fork and beat upon it.

It opened a crack.

‘Fire!' he called, not too loudly. ‘Your hay'll catch. You'd best get out quick.'

‘Wait,' said a man's voice, opening the door wide. ‘There are two of us here,' and half turning he called urgently into the room.

A figure appeared in the opening, chivvied and pushed towards the edge. Bare legs dangled one side of the iron hay-bale pulley.

‘Quickly!' called Jack in the dark, ‘I'll catch you.'

‘Go on!' The groom gave a shove and a woman, petticoat pulled hastily about her, dropped into Jack's arms.

His soul turned black; seared by recognition.

He thrust her away, ran, released the horses and made for the house, heart pouring misery. He stumbled in the yard and hit his head against the jamb picking the lock of the back door. He'd thought she'd save him from his memory! He'd wanted her to save him from himself. Now she herself would be nothing but a memory: her smile illuminating the dark kitchen, the momentary touch of her nakedness.

A window above burst. The flames were catching. He rushed past kitchen, pantries, storerooms, up into the house. As usual his task was not difficult, for having begun the fire at the back, the main staircase was still untouched. With gallantry exaggerated by anguish he led the master and mistress, querulous in their nightgowns, towards the street door. The rest of the household roused each other, gathering in the hall to be counted.

An old woman, probably Mrs Cantley, hair straggling under her cap, hastened over to the mistress.

‘My lady. Polly have run back up. To get her things.'

‘Mercy! Sir,' she turned to Jack. ‘You are fearless. My youngest maid has put herself in danger. She is a foolish girl, but I wouldn't have her burn. I beg you, help her. We shall reward you, sir.'

The staircase narrowed as he reached the attics. He ran the length of the left passage, hearing, before he saw it, how the well roared as the back stairs were consumed. Nobody would survive that. He turned the other way, calling her name.

He found her in a tiny, windowless room, stuffing belongings into a box.

‘You must come, now, Polly. There's no time for those.' He pulled her down the first flight.

‘How do you know my name?' she panted by his side. ‘Who are you?'

He pulled harder.

‘Oh! I know you now. It's no good looking away. I recognise you. You're the officer who came. But you've no crutch, no limp. It was a trick!'

‘Quiet! You must come!'

‘Where are you taking me? You deceived me. For all I know you set the house alight yourself. To rob. To murder me! Oh, help, help!'

They had reached the grand staircase. Newly bought old masters peered out in the hall; everyone had fled to the street. Smoke from the upper floors rolled down upon them.

He turned her to him, clutched her shoulders, shook her.

‘By all that's good, I swear I'm no murderer. I came to save you. If you give me away I shall tell the master and mistress where you were last night. They'll believe me, not you and you'll be out in the cold. You have no choice, Polly. I'm saving your life. Saving you from fire and from penury.

‘And for that I must have my reward. For that
you
must save
me
. Only you can. I shall marry you, make a good woman of you, while you make a good man of me. Burn the memory out of my head with the glow of your face.' He held it, smoke-blackened, tear-riven between his hands.

T
HE
P
LAY'S THE
T
HING

H
e fired two slugs and missed. The two he'd cast himself from lead. One went a yard to the left of the king, the other into the next box. For a moment nothing happened. He knew such moments: shot discharged, target pierced, uniform, flesh, bone. The terrible look of dismay.

But not this time. Even as he felt his arms gripped, the pistol wrenched from his hand, a forearm at his windpipe, he saw musicians clamber onto the stage, heard the shrieks ‘Seize him!' ‘Show him!', saw the king step forward. He swivelled his eyes to the crowd: one great glittering, powdered body, one gaping mouth demanding ‘God Save the King!'. Kelly ordered his musicians back into the pit; before the green baize curtain actors and singers sang the turgid tune again and again with an extra verse triumphantly scribbled by Sheridan, perspiring in the glare.

From every latent foe,

From the assassin's blow,

God save the King.

He saw and heard it all. The entire theatre, pit, boxes, galleries galvanised in the blaze of a thousand candles.

*

They pulled him about but found no other weapons, no incriminating papers.

‘He's an officer, Mr Addington sir,' said Tamplin from the band, his trumpet laid to one side. ‘See his waistcoat buttons.'

Hadfield elbowed him away.

‘Mr Addington. Mr Sheridan. Gentlemen. I'll tell you who I am. James Hadfield, Captain, 15th Light Dragoons. I have fought for my king and country.'

‘A
nd
against
your king, evidently.'

‘It's not over yet.'

There's a great deal more and worse to be done.

‘Your meaning?'

All rose at the sudden, scented entrance of the Prince of Wales and Duke of York. Hadfield, already standing, smiled broadly, stepped towards the duke.

‘I know your Royal Highness – God bless you! You are a good fellow. I have served with your highness and got these and more than these in fighting by your side.' The deep cut over his eye, the long scar on his cheek.

‘I was three hours among the dead in a ditch at Lincelles before the French took me prisoner. Had my arm broken by a shot; eight sabre wounds in my head. But I recovered, and here I am.'

Now
I've muddled them. Never could keep quiet, even as a boy. Look at them biting their pens.

‘Continue your account, Hadfield.' The soft brogue of Sheridan.

‘I was discharged from the army because of my wounds. I've made a good deal of money at my trade – silversmith. But I'm tired, sir.'
Hams aching. Let me sit!

Addington paused in his writing, squinted, wry, silicious:

‘How can you explain your action tonight, Hadfield?'

‘May I sit, sir?'

‘Not yet.'

‘Weary. I'm weary of life.'

Sheridan shifted to the other foot. A yawn bubbled behind his hand.

‘Is this your pistol?'

‘I bought a pair of pistols yesterday from William Wakelin, St John Street. Hairdresser, broker. He cheated me. One was good for nothing. That's the other. Bought a crown's worth of powder this morning; cast the balls myself. On the way, stopped for a jug at Mrs Mason's, Red Lion Street.'

Oh, Nancy. I should have been back there with you now, triumphant. Out like a bullet through the musicians' door. Down the alleys, darkness. But here I stand before this silk-coated rabble! You never denied me anything, Nancy. Oh, get me out of this mishmash somehow!

‘A
nd then?'

‘A
rrived; took my seat on the benches. Paid for, sir. You know the rest.'

Wigs and periwigs, pomade and powder conferred.

‘Captain Hadfield,' began Addington. ‘It seems you are a man of honourable military record, successful in your trade, honest in your account of yourself so far. You do not appear to be inebriated. Yet you tell us that you attempted the life of the best of sovereigns because you were
tired
, because you were
weary
?'

‘I fired to miss, sir.'

Easier to bag than a pheasant. But I let it fly away.

‘I'm as good a shot as any in England. I did not attempt to kill the king. I am weary of life, as I told you.'

A jug'd revive me, though. I'd down it in two minutes straight.

‘What induced you to do it?'

‘I wished for death, sir.'
His
. ‘I wished for death.'
Dissemble, man! Feign!
‘But not by my own hand. I desired to raise an alarm. I wished the spectators might fall upon me.'

Addington sceptical, sharp-nosed:

‘Do you belong to the Corresponding Society?'

‘Surely it was proscribed, sir?'

‘It is I who ask the questions, Captain.
I
am examining
you
.
Do you belong to the Corresponding Society?'

‘I belong to a club of odd fellows and a benefit society. Mrs Mason's my place, not the Bell.'

He pressed his hand to his heart.

‘A
s God is witness, I had no accomplices.'

You'll not take anyone else. My friends. Companions. Together we've skewered the court, razed Buckingham House, rammed a catapotium down parliament's throat!

But this was my design alone. Prune the tree of Liberty: a log is as good as a king. I boasted, they cheered.

They let him sit to await witnesses who came by the dozen. Wakelin, foppish and sly. Yes, he'd sold Hadfield two pistols. Coke, Harley, Baldwin and Pyke, dear fellows, swearing to his good character. Recalling the evil effects of drink. Shopmates, grimy with silver, testifying to his fine work were it not for the beer. Adjutant and captain from the 15
th
Light telling of his bravery, how beloved of the regiment, how fierce in his cups. His cut brow frowned.

They wish to help me, but I'll not be held a blear-eyed drunkard.

Mrs Nancy Mason, stately and only a little soiled, strong hands before her, proclaimed her honesty, her knowledge that Captain Hadfield rarely drank more than a jug, that drink never made him incapable. But he would complain of pains in the head.

Oh, how often have I wormed my throbbing skull between your earth-warm breasts, Nancy. Soothed by you. Soothed.

‘Not the drink, sir. The wounds do drive him hollow.'

‘Hollow, Mrs Mason?'

‘He do tell of his head empty and hollow save for the pains. I believe it was the reason they put him in the strait waistcoat when he visited his regiment last year. But he were only bellowing from the cuts. They soon let him out.

‘Though I swear he did speak with a madman last Tuesday, sir. Truelock, cobbler at Islington.'

Good woman! Your wit was ever bright. No fiz-gig, you. That way you'll absolve me and release me when the smoke clears, the fire dies down. I'd not mind a spell in Dr Simmons's madhouse.

Truelock, small, fingers too clean for a fully employed cobbler, fixed an inner gaze on Jesus, soon to visit this world. Yes, he'd spoken to Hadfield and convinced him beyond doubt of the speedy return of Our Saviour. Soon, coming soon, with the birth of the new century.

Chins, curls, cravats consulted. ‘Deranged', ‘insane', ‘lunatic' tottered to and fro among them.

Hadfield, hearing, winked wildly at the impassive Truelock.

For that is how I must play it. Confirm Nancy's ‘honesty' and give them the story they seek. Conspiracy and drunkenness won't do; a madman will.

Pyke and I saw Garrick play Hamlet, years back. ‘The play's the thing': we bandied that about in the Red Lion. What better place than Drury Lane, I said. Lights, splendour, populace to watch.

Still, Hamlet wanted to catch the king's conscience not kill him. Why didn't Harley pull me up on that? He's our pedant. And when Hamlet did think to kill Claudius it was alone in the dark, not in the glare of a full Theatre Royal.

But no, that's not it. The place was right. I was perfectly positioned in the pit, pistol primed, resolve fortified by friends, cock warmed by Nancy's certain touch. It was my conscience that was caught, sharpened by starving paupers crying for bread in Spitalfields this February. Thrown frost-ruined potatoes by liveried lackeys while the court guzzled beefsteak and creams.

Why then? Why did I miss?

Sitting in the three-shillings, unsuspecting clerks on either side, chatter, instruments tuning, I was calm – not even drops of hot wax on my neck made me flinch. The king arrived. I rose. Levelled. Imagined the bullet entering his jacket, waistcoat, shirt, skin, muscle, heart.

Then saw the snowy-wigged, pink-cheeked face. Gibbous eyes smiling with incomprehension. Madness flitting behind them. How could I shoot such a one?

He rose and shouted: ‘God knows of the dreams I've had. I received a great commission in my sleep, gentlemen. I know I'm to be a martyr. I was persecuted by the French and I'm to be persecuted again. I have not yet suffered sufficiently.'

Addington spoke: ‘Religiously insane. Take him and Truelock to Cold-bath-fields. I'll write a report for
The Times
: Attempt on the life of the King. His Majesty safe. Madman apprehended.'