His Love (8 page)

“Everything that happened to you and me happened for this reason right here,” Antonio said. Rayne moaned as his lips brushed lightly against hers waiting for an invitation. “I think we just owe it to fate to be together.”

Rayne tilted her head back in shock. She had known Antonio for a bit more than two months and never had he used such words like
fate.
“Flowery language, are you sick?”

“No, but I think you are.” Rayne hadn’t noticed his arms slipping under her t-shirt. “You feel a little warm.”

“I think I got whatever bug Alessandria has.” As if to confirm what she just said, they heard Alessandria call to them.

“Mommy.”

“What did she just say?” Rayne asked, but Antonio was already running toward his daughter’s cry for help.

“Is she delusional? Oh my God, her fever must be worse than I thought.” Rayne sat on the bed on Alessandria’s other side and felt her forehead, her fever was back with a vengeance and now she was seeing her dead mother.

“Mommy.”

“I think she’s referring to you,” Antonio said, the shock evident in his voice.

Rayne ignored the comment. She picked Alessandria up and wrapped her in an afghan. “We need to take her to a hospital.”

It only took five minutes from when they left the room and headed out to wait for Antonio’s car to be brought around, but it seemed like an eternity to Rayne. Now she was strapped in the back seat with Antonio behind the wheel. Rayne didn’t know how fast he was driving, but she knew his sports car was being pushed to the limit. She tried to remain calm even when Alessandria began shivering in her arms. Rayne tried to warm her up, but she knew there was a limit to how much she could help at that point. Once they were at the entrance of the hospital she didn’t wait for Antonio to turn off the ignition, she opened the door and dashed out with the little girl in her arms. She frowned noticing how small the hospital looked, but it was the only one in the area.

“I need help,” she called out, as the nurses rushed to her. “She has a fever and she’s shivering.”

“What’s her name?”

“Alessandria Burke,” Antonio responded. Rayne hadn’t noticed he was next to her already.

Usually family sat in the waiting room as the doctor worked on their loved one, but she and Antonio were ushered into the same hospital room as Alessandria.

“We should have brought her in earlier.” Rayne watched them take Alessandria’s temperature.

“We didn’t know.” Antonio rubbed up and down her arms.

When Rayne saw the doctor take out a needle an all-familiar itch came to her. She turned away trying to hide how at that moment she needed something to calm her nerves. Rayne was standing in the middle of a hospital, the one place apart from bars, where she could easily find her fix. She tried to bury what she was feeling and hide it from Antonio but he saw right through her.

“Nurse, could you get her checked out? She also has a fever.”

“Come with me,” the nurse said.

“Where?” Rayne asked.

“We are going to get you checked out.” The nurse didn’t wait for a response, she ushered Rayne into another hospital room.

“But I’m totally fine.”

“When the owner of the hospital says ‘get her checked out’, you get checked out.” She fell silent then mumbled. “After what happened to his wife, I’m not taking any chances.”

Rayne swallowed her surprise. This was where Maria died. She knew it had taken Antonio a lot to return to the scene of the tragedy. She sat down and didn’t attempt to walk away; this was her way of humoring him and not getting the nurse into any trouble. When the nurse took out the needle she wanted to bolt out of the door. She needed to get away from the reminder of her past indulgence before she gave in.

“Are you afraid of a little needle?” the nurse asked, amused.

“Totally the opposite of that.” She pushed back her sleeves for the second time that day. “I’m an addict. I mean I was an addict.”

“I’m not here to judge you, only to take your blood,” the nurse said sympathetically. “We have all been down that road in some shape or form.”

Rayne looked away, but couldn’t help the comforting feeling that came over her as the needle sank into her skin. Although nothing was going in, it still gave her a nostalgic feeling. When she opened her eyes she wished she could take the afternoon back. She met Antonio’s eyes and his expression was sturdy and apprehensive.
When did he get here?
He was watching her as she almost cheered at the feeling of a needle pricking her. He didn’t say a word when the nurse took her temperature and blood pressure. He just watched. One black brow arched when they were left alone. Rayne knew what that expression meant and what it was asking. She could read him like a book and apparently he could do the same for her.

“How is Alessandria?”

“We’ll know more in a while.” He made a simple exclamation that drained all the tension in his body. He moved toward Rayne and traced his fingers along the track marks on her arms. “How long have you been clean?”

“Four years.”

“I saw the expression on your face when she pricked you.”

“I’m not using anymore.” Rayne became defensive.

“I didn’t say you were, but I never see you attending meetings.”

Words of anger sat on her tongue, but the concern in Antonio’s voice and the way he looked at her made her crumble. “This is a small community and I didn’t want you to find out before I was ready to tell you.”

“Don’t you see that you need to talk to someone?”

“I just need to stay away from you, especially when you are drinking.” She could almost taste the whiskey on his lips from the last time they made love. “That night you were drowning yourself in your sorrows—”

“I kissed you,” he gasped in shock. “I didn’t—wasn’t thinking.”

“You didn’t know. I could taste the alcohol on your lips and your tongue and since it poured on the carpet I could smell it. I won’t lie, it felt good. I thought I was going into a frenzy.” She shook her head trying to shake the memory out of her head.

“Why didn’t you say something?” he scowled.

“Because, at that moment you needed me much more than my addiction did.” She watched him as he stiffened, then combed his fingers through his shaggy hair. He looked guilty. “We all have some demon we are fighting against. I’m winning my fight, and you seemed to have won yours. But it’s all a process.”

“Let me guess, life is a marathon not a sprint.” He chuckled.

“I guess.”

Antonio clasped her upper arms and their mouths locked in an erotic sparring dance. The taste of him was Rayne’s new addiction, but she fought against the warning bells telling her that he was just using her to forget. She desperately wanted to believe his profession of love, but she needed to be careful—for Alessandria’s sake. Her body arched toward his when his hands snaked under her t-shirt and caressed her back. When she felt his desire press against her thigh, she knew it was time to break it off.

Her attempt of withdrawing was met by a discouraging moan, and Antonio only held her tighter. His mouth started along her neck, his lips caressing the pulse point in her throat, gently brushing her exposed skin.

“We are not going to have sex in a hospital.”

“I own the hospital.” His lips slanted in a devilish grin.

“I heard.”

“Mr. Burke—” A wide eyed nurse stared at them.

“What is it?” Antonio’s gruff voice filled the air.

“Alessandria is awake and she’s asking for her mother. I didn’t know what to say to her...” her voice faltered over the obvious.

“My daughter is referring to this lady here.” Antonio pointed and Rayne noticed he was more at ease with the term.

“I doubt that’s what she meant, but I’ll go to her.” Rayne pulled her t-shirt down. She shot Antonio a look of awe when she realized her bra was unhooked. “You are very talented and skillful, quick too.”

“Well, you don’t get to be in a position like mine without talent and skill.” His smile widened into a grin that crinkled the skin around his eyes. “I could help you with that.”

“No thanks.” Rayne chuckled as she hooked herself up. She stepped out of the hospital room and noticed the familiar men in black littered around the hospital. “I didn’t know they were here.”

“I need to protect the people I love.” He pulled her to his side. “I have no doubt that the nurse has told everyone she caught us kissing. People know that you are more than my daughter’s nanny and Alessandria calling you mommy just affirmed it.”

“I doubt I need the men in black to tail me everywhere.” Rayne chuckled, doubtful that anyone would want to kidnap her. What for?

Antonio stopped her, his hands resting on her shoulders he said, “Don’t go anywhere without them.”

He didn’t elaborate, but pulled her into his daughter’s room. Alessandria smiled and reached out for Rayne, calling her mommy once again. She exchanged a confused look with Antonio.

“Why are you calling me mommy, sweetheart?”

“Because you are,” she said before slipping back to sleep.

“Are you comfortable with this?” Rayne asked. She didn’t think Antonio wanted another woman to usurp Maria’s role in his daughter’s life.

“I am if you are.” He gazed at her. “I understand if you are uncomfortable.”

Rayne’s heart felt raw about being called mommy. Her hands flirted above her belly. She always felt the phantom kicks and movements. Her little girl would have been the same age as Alessandria. A strange eddy of fear and excitement rocked her, but she was afraid of what would happen to Alessandria if her relationship with Antonio didn’t work out.

It was about half an hour before a full work-up on both her and Alessandria came back. The doctor pulled Rayne aside and gave her the results, but there was nothing normal about them.
What was it that my mother used to say
? “Be careful what you say. The wind will carry your words and take them to someone who will make them come true.”

Chapter Eight

Antonio watched Rayne out of the corner of his eye as they drove home. She was silent and any attempt to make her share the doctor’s report fell on deaf ears. But there was nothing that happened in his domain that he didn’t know about. Rayne was pregnant, two months along and he was sure the baby was his. He wanted to tell her that he knew, but he couldn’t risk her thinking that he was invading her privacy. He decided to wait for her to come to him. Antonio was done forcing people to succumb to his will; although Rayne never did, but he was still willing to wait.

“Do you want something to eat?” he asked once they were back at the house.

“No,” she whispered. “I don’t think Alessandria will wake up in the middle of the night, but could you check on her if she did.”

“Sure, where are you going?” he asked, tormented by the struggle he saw in her eyes. She wanted to tell him, he could see that. But she wrestled with the decision. Who could fault her? After the way he acted with Alessandria he didn’t blame her if she wanted to save herself and her child,
their
child. Because of that he would make sure that she didn’t leave the house alone.

“I’m going to go sleep at my place tonight.”

“Do you want me to walk you; I promise not to maul you.” He lifted his hands above his head and smiled at her.

She smiled back. “I might just want you to, but I need some room to think, especially with Alessandria calling me mommy.”

“Are you shocked? I’m not.” He had wanted to make Rayne Alessandria’s mother and his wife for the longest time. But Rayne’s rule for him to keep his emotions to himself had stopped him...but now he had a window.

“It’s just settling in. Are you sure it doesn’t bother you?” she asked, doubt evident in her eyes.

“I don’t mind. Don’t you want any kids?” He was fishing, but maybe she would bite.

“Yes, I feel like I am getting a second chance at motherhood.”

Antonio didn’t know if she was referring to Alessandria or their new baby, but he hoped it was both.

***

Rayne stared at the woman looking back at her in the mirror. She didn’t know what she was going to do, with Alessandria, Antonio or the new arrival. They had been so lost in each other’s arms that no one thought about protection. But what was she supposed to do now?

Once again she didn’t do what was expected of her.
Look after the little girl, Rayne, you weren’t supposed to get pregnant.
She had always believed that her family was looking down at her from Heaven or that great big cloud in the sky. Now, she desperately wished they weren’t watching. She was very much hoping that the dead had a golf day or something. But maybe her mother sent her here, to this great big house that wasn’t a home. Her mother might have thought that Antonio had needed her to bring life back into his heart. And now, together, she and the prince of darkness were going to bring a brand new person in the catastrophe they called a love story. This baby was a second chance, for both of them.

She couldn’t tell Antonio and have him be with her out of obligation. She loved him and according to him so did he. She still had sometime before she would begin to show. Maybe she could see where her relationship with Antonio was headed, and then she would tell him.

You are not that groupie who hangs out at the back of a tour bus, necking with your rocker boyfriend, Rayne.
She straightened her shoulders and stiffened her spine.
Rayne Mathews, governess to Alexandria Burke, lover to Antonio Burke.
She frowned.
Mother to Antonio Burke’s illegitimate child.
Rayne’s head fell back and stared at the white ceiling. Another second staring at the stranger in the mirror and she knew she would lose her mind.
You are not a clueless teenager anymore, figure out what you want.

***

Antonio looked out for Rayne before he went to work the next morning. He left later than usual sparking curiosity in everyone.

“Aren’t you going to work?” Kane asked as he watched him.

“I am.” Antonio grunted expecting the normal criticism. “Alessandria and Rayne are both not feeling well. We were at the hospital for a while last night and I had to check in on Alessandria, so I had a late start today.”