His Perfect Lady (18 page)

Jonathan jerked his head back. “Me? Why?”

“Apparently, you have done something to anger the ladies,” Richard explained, shooting Greyson a look. “Brianna refuses to speak to me about it.”

“Abigail, too, doesn’t wish to confide in me. She believes I will give you warning prior to her and Brianna speaking to you.”

Unable to fathom what he could have done to upset both women, Jonathan remained still, surveying his friends’ pained expressions. Regardless, he refused to exile himself from his own home in order to avoid his guests. On the other hand, going straight to Miss Glace’s house sounded appealing. He shook his head. He wasn’t afraid.

“Then let’s go find out what I did wrong.”

“You go on ahead,” Richard offered. “Greyson and I will be along shortly.”

“Cowards,” Jonathan muttered as he set his stallion toward the manor. He would have preferred to remain with his friends, but he suspected they were only following orders.

After he entered his house, he was immediately directed to the study where the two women waited. His study. He sighed. Knowing Brianna and Abigail as he did, he imagined nothing they did should surprise him any longer.

“Good afternoon, ladies,” he greeted. “To what do I owe the pleasure of having such beauties seeking me out today?”

“Aren’t you going to offer us a brandy first?” Brianna clicked her tongue. “Is this how you are with Richard? Ready to jump into business without considering his parched throat?”

“No. He always offers refreshments to them,” Abigail answered. “I know Greyson has enjoyed more than one brandy when visiting with his friends.”

Both females’ eyes turned to him expectantly. How did they manage to make him feel so inadequate with an expression? Normally he could manage women well, but something about these two always brought him trouble.

Placing a hand over his chest, Jonathan adopted his most apologetic face. “Where are my manners? From the bottom of my heart, I beg your forgiveness. I would be honored to offer you both a brandy.”

“No, thank you,” Brianna replied sweetly.

Abigail brightened, sitting up straighter in her chair. “I’d love one.”

Unsure if Greyson would appreciate him providing alcohol for his wife, Jonathan poured a fourth of a glass. At her glare, he continued dispensing liquid until she smiled. The glass practically overflowed.

“Thank you.” Abigail took the glass and sipped, closing her eyes as if savoring the flavor.

Shaking his head, Jonathan made his way back to sit behind his desk. “Am I allowed to inquire after your purpose now?”

Brianna tapped her finger against her chin before responding. “We have come to lodge a complaint against your skills as host at the ball.”

Surprised, Jonathan raked a hand through his hair as he thought over the evening. He’d never expected them to take exception to the event. Everyone he’d seen or spoken with had indicated their pleasure with the night. What had he done wrong?

“As host, you must ensure your guests’ happiness,” Abigail lectured. “
All
your guests.”

“I don’t recall seeing anyone dissatisfied, so I believe I achieved that.”

Brianna rotated her head toward Abigail. “Add
observant
to the list.” Brianna’s tone was dry as she turned back to him. “Perhaps we are addressing this wrong. Do you love Miss Glace?”

His mouth fell open. What was going on? None of this made any sense. Did they believe Miss Glace to have been dissatisfied with the evening? And how did his feelings for her, or lack thereof, make a difference?

“I don’t see how that is relevant.” Jonathan leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Do you know why I married Richard?” Brianna asked.

“Because you were with ch—” Jonathan dropped off, seeing the fury in Brianna’s gaze “. . . charm. Yes, I recall you were quite charming.”

She rolled her eyes. “Because I loved him. Lord knows I fought against it and living with him while carrying his child offered quite a challenge, but we survived because of love.”

Abigail smiled. “I, too, loved Greyson when I married him, although I hadn’t put a name to the emotion. Love is something you can’t marry without.”

“This is all wonderful to hear, but I still don’t understand. What does this all have to do with me?”

“If you don’t love Miss Glace, you can’t marry her,” Brianna explained as if he were a child.

Jonathan pinched the bridge of his nose as his head throbbed. Richard and Greyson had to get a handle on their wives, for he couldn’t take this. They knew nothing of his situation or his obligations.

“I appreciate your concern, but you don’t understand.” He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the outrage on their faces.

“Do you think we should tell him?” Brianna asked.

“I don’t know. He hasn’t earned it.”

“Or her.”

Brianna’s words echoed in his mind and snapped his eyes open. Catherine. It had to be. She had been the only woman he saw them endorsing.

“Tell me,” he pleaded.

“Please excuse us, my lord. I have been away from Joseph much too long today.” Brianna stood to leave, Abigail following closely behind.

He jumped to his feet, desperate not to let them go. “Please tell me. What news do you have about Catherine?”

The women exchanged a look, then Abigail faced him. “She came by earlier. If you wish to see her, she said she will be at the place where only you can find her.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, as relief flooded him.

So Catherine waited at the center of the maze. After the women passed by, he rushed out the door, anxious to get to her. She must have been there for quite a while, and he had no desire to have her leave.

When he stood a few steps from the entrance, he froze. Why was he doing this?
She’d
rejected him. He didn’t owe her and certainly didn’t need to rush to her side when she called.

Indecision tore at him as he stood, clenching and unclenching his fists. He dropped his head. In the end, he knew he would end up going to her, so he stopped fighting the urge. Never before had he refused her when she asked for him, and he didn’t intend to start now.

Arriving at the center, he stopped and stared. Catherine sat upon the fountain, lightly trailing her fingers through the water. His heart ached at the sight of her. In all his years, he had never found another woman who came anywhere close to her.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Gates,” he greeted formally, needing to maintain distance between them.

“I knew you would come.” Joy brimmed over in her eyes.

“Lady Stonemede indicated that you wanted to talk to me.” He shrugged as if he hadn’t rushed out here to see her. “Did you enjoy yourself at the ball?”

He strolled over to the bushes and broke off a few leaves that had escaped the gardeners’ care. When he turned back to her, he noticed pain pass through her eyes. Was Catherine who Brianna and Abigail referred to? He hadn’t seen her since sharing that one waltz.

“I suppose some found it more pleasurable than others. What about you?” Her eyes intently surveyed him as she stood and moved toward him. “Did anything significant occur last night?”

“Significant? Is there something more specific you wish to ask?”

She bit her lip as her eyes briefly fell to his chest, then settled back on his face. What did she think happened? His mind retraced every move he made and every conversation he held. The only thing he could think of was the uncomfortable kiss he and Miss Glace shared. That had been a mistake.

He supposed he would become accustomed to feeling nothing when kissing a woman, but he didn’t like it. Accepting his new life would prove more difficult than he expected.

A solitary tear escaped from one of Catherine’s eyes. Her pain stabbed at him, making it difficult to breathe. Touching her face, he brushed the moisture away with his thumb. Her lips parted as she leaned toward him. Knowing it was wrong didn’t change how much he wanted nothing more than to kiss her and enjoy the escape for a time.

Bending his head down, he lowered his mouth to lightly touch hers. She wound her arms around his neck in an attempt to bring him closer to her. However, he, being taller and stronger, held back, content to rain tender kisses across her beloved face. The world demanded too much with its selfish passage of time, but he refused to rush. He would keep her here forever.

By the time Catherine stepped back, Jonathan could barely hear over the need echoing in his body. A need to take what she willingly offered. A need to possess her. A need to own her. He reached out to bring her back to him, but she stepped away, just outside of arm’s length.

His mouth twisted as bitterness invaded his senses. He should have expected her rejection. “If you don’t have anything in particular you wish to discuss, I must be on my way. I have a pressing engagement today.”

He saw her cringe over the word “engagement” and wondered if she knew he planned to propose to Miss Glace after tea. He knew the girl had been expecting him to ask, and he saw no reason to postpone.

“I do,” she rasped, then promptly cleared her throat.

“Well,” he prompted.

She stood there, wringing her hands as she stared at his chest. What was wrong with her?

“Jonathan,” she began as her gaze slowly moved up to his. The love he saw shining at him took his breath away. He wanted to close his eyes, knowing remembering it later would be too painful.

“Yes,” he whispered.

“I love you.” Her words shoved a knife into his heart. She loved him, but she wouldn’t marry him. “I’ve loved you from the second you caught me trespassing on Linwood property, and I have continued to every second since then. Over the years, I have married twice, but those men meant nothing to me. You held my heart.”

Jonathan couldn’t move. Every muscle in his body ceased to function, except his heart. It rapidly pounded in his chest to the point he thought the organ would burst.

Catherine loved him.

Did he dare believe it? And why would she tell him now? When it was too late?

“I want to be with you always. You complete me. Will you marry me?”

His head reared back at the force of the blow. Was she toying with him? She already had a betrothed. Jonathan’s unmoved gaze fixed upon her as he tried to determine what game she played.

“Please say something.”

“You made it clear to me that my only worth was between the sheets,” he reminded her, keeping his voice even. “If you’re looking for another tumble, you don’t have to put up the charade to get one.”

She took a step forward and touched his arm, but he moved away. “That’s not what I want. I want to marry you.”

“What about Dudgery?”

“I informed him last night that I couldn’t marry him.” She held her head up and her shoulders back.

Closing his eyes, he tried to come to terms with the new information. How could this be possible? Could he truly have everything he wanted in life? Although his reservations began to dissolve, he couldn’t squelch the doubt. After all, she’d rejected him twice.

“If this is all true, why did you deny me?” He opened his eyes, needing to see the answer in her eyes.

Catherine sighed. “The night we were to run away together, my father caught me. He locked me in my room all night while I screamed at the door. In the morning he told me he’d kill you if I ran off and married you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“He would have hurt you.” She turned her back on him as she wrapped her arms around herself. “After you left, I begged him to reconsider. I even told him I refused to marry anyone but you. He got so angry that day. He said that if I dared to marry anyone not approved by him, they would never live long enough to obtain enjoyment from a marriage to me.”

“And both your previous husbands died before the wedding night,” Jonathan added as reality dawned on him. She believed it was her father who cursed her. “So, in London you rejected me because . . .”

She spun around to face him. “I don’t want you to die. I thought I could live without you, but I can’t. If you don’t want to take a chance and marry me, I understand. I’ll be content to take any part of you that you are willing to give me.”

The misery in her eyes tore at his soul. He ran his hand through his hair and tried to find the words to say. Her lack of trust in him told him more than he wanted to hear, but could he fault her for that? She truly believed in this silly curse.

In an instant he knew what he needed to do. Grabbing her hand, he led her toward the exit of the maze. The hour had already grown late. They had no time to lose.

“Where are we going?” she asked, breathless from his quick pace.

“Gretna Green.”

Chapter 16

Catherine clutched onto her husband’s arm, unwilling to allow an inch of space to separate them. She could hardly believe she and Jonathan were married, and she refused to lose him. He smiled down at her, but she didn’t loosen her grip.

“Please provide your best rooms for me and my wife,” Jonathan said to the innkeeper, pride filling his voice.

“Yes, my lord.” The man scampered off to do Jonathan’s bidding.

Burying her face against her husband’s arm, Catherine tried not to think about the hour. She still had time, for it still remained night. But the morning would come. Bile rose in her throat as her body swayed. Why had she decided to do this? Anger at her own selfishness overwhelmed her.

“Don’t worry, Lady Linwood,” Jonathan whispered to her. “Everything will be all right.”

She offered him a weak smile but couldn’t relax herself. When the innkeeper returned, she jumped upon hearing his voice.

“My wife got my best rooms ready for ye and yer lass.” He led them down a hallway and into a bedchamber. “After a while she will be aboot with yer dinner.”

“Thank you.” Jonathan closed the door behind the burly man. Then he turned to her, a sparkle in his eyes.

Her heart pounded, pumping excitement through her blood, but she couldn’t shake the terror clawing at her insides. Was this to be the last night she would see him alive?

“We shouldn’t have done this,” she whispered.

With one raised eyebrow, Jonathan surveyed the room. “It isn’t the most fashionable of places, but we won’t have to be here long.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“I know.” Jonathan took her cold fingers between his warm ones. “I don’t know how else to assure you. Your father is gone. No one and nothing will harm me. I’m your husband now and, as such, I intend to remain living to fulfill my duties to you.”

He lifted her chin with one finger and crushed her lips with his. She never tired of kissing him and before long her desire built. The past few nights of sleeping alone in a room while knowing Jonathan remained one door away had been difficult. However, he had insisted upon keeping up as much propriety as they could in their situation, regardless that their destination was Gretna Green.

Unwilling to wait any longer, she slid his jacket from his shoulders. She had survived much too long without him. His arms left her, and she heard the material thud against the floor. Grateful he didn’t intend to stop her, she untied his cravat and lifted his shirt from his trousers. She let out a sound of protest as he grabbed her hand.

“Slow down,” he said between kisses. “We have plenty of time. First, I should inform the innkeeper we have no use for food tonight.”

After one final kiss, he slipped from her grasp and headed to the door. Panic attacked her. She ran forward and gripped his arm. Tears poured from her eyes as her throat clogged. The curse was already trying to take him away.

“What is wrong?” His arms encircled her and held her tight. “It’s all right. I won’t leave you.”

He scooted them over to sit on the edge of the bed. This was wrong. She never should’ve married him. Regret swirled through her as she clung to her husband. What had she done?

His warm hands moved up and down her back, but it wasn’t enough comfort. She needed more. Seeking his lips, she drew his head down to hers. Never before had she felt so desperate for him.

A knock at the door wrenched her away from him and brought heat to her cheeks. Jonathan had been right to wait. She felt ashamed for her wanton behavior.

“Hold that thought.” Jonathan lightly touched her cheek before answering the door. After collecting the tray, he set it on the table and returned to her.

Lifting her arms to him, she welcomed his embrace. As they fell back to the bed, he comforted her with his body. Everything was forgotten as their dinner grew cold on the table and the moon and sun fought for control of the sky.

Catherine found herself lost in a wonderful dream when morning light snuck in from the window. She curled up further in the bed, not ready to awaken. Tapping sounded in her ears, making her body cold. Her mind flooded with memories as the sound that haunted her for years had returned.

She squeezed her eyes shut, unable to bear the sight she knew would greet her. Tears escaped from under her lashes as her stomach rolled. The tapping stopped, then, after a few seconds, it began again.

To her surprise, the mattress shifted beneath her and then sprang up as if pressure had been released. She popped her eyes open as footsteps crossed the floor. Jonathan stood at the door, fully dressed. He cracked it open, shared some whispered words, then accepted a platter of food before closing the door again.

Letting out the breath she’d been holding, she dropped her head back on the pillow. He’d survived. As an odd thought crossed her mind, her head snapped up. Had he not enjoyed himself? Surely the curse couldn’t have been broken so easily. She had tried to remain awake all night to keep him safe, but she’d obviously failed.

“Good morning, Lady Linwood.” Jonathan’s satisfied voice washed over her. “I have procured us some breakfast.”

She stretched her arms out to him. Breakfast didn’t matter. He was alive. Jonathan had survived the wedding night. As he fell into her arms, she vowed to protect him. She wouldn’t allow the curse to make her a widow again.

Jonathan crumpled the missive in his hand and tossed it into the waiting fire before returning to his desk. Sliding another letter forward, he observed his wife under the guise of reading. She appeared haggard. Every day took too much of a toll on her. From what he could tell, she never slept, no matter how hard he tried to tire her out. She had also stopped eating. And her eyes were always upon him. Even now, she watched as if he would sustain a fatal paper cut from the letters.

Kicking his chair away from the desk, he leaned back and pinched the bridge of his nose. And now this. He thought the decision to remain in Scotland through the winter had been wise, but he wasn’t so sure any longer. The letters from Rawson had become more desperate and at the moment the man needed him to return. Without his wife.

“What’s wrong?” Catherine hurried to his side, running her fingers over his head. “Are you in pain?”

He grabbed her hand and lifted her into his lap. He wanted to tell her that seeing her like this brought him pain, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. She worried too much already without him adding to it.

“I’m much better with you here.” He nuzzled her neck. “Why don’t we get something to eat and retire early?”

“We can go straight to bed, right after you tell me what upset you.”

Jonathan sighed. “You aren’t going to like it.”

Her back stiffened as she stood, crossed the room, then reclaimed her customary seat across from him. Her insistence to remain in here all day angered him. She should be enjoying herself while he worked, not watching his every move.

Forcing himself to his feet, he marched to the fireplace and leaned against the mantle. Marriage wasn’t supposed to be like this.

“I have to return to Linwood.”

“I expected this. After all, we can’t live in Scotland forever.”

Taking a deep breath, he faced her. “True, but don’t make any plans to leave just yet. This will be a short trip, which I will make on my own.”

Catherine’s eyes widened as her hand flew to her chest. When tears welled up in her eyes, he fought to remain still. He couldn’t give in. Rawson had been adamant in his letter that Catherine not return. Although the man didn’t offer any specifics, Jonathan knew this wouldn’t be good.

“You want to leave without me? Have you tired of me so easily?”

Her voice broke, bringing him to her side. Drawing her into his arms, he stroked her hair. He hated himself for forcing her to marry him. At this point, he would give anything to get the old Catherine back.

“Don’t be silly. The trip will be over so quickly you will not even have a chance to miss me. Or perhaps you’ll find my absence refreshing and request I make my visit more permanent.”

His attempt to tease her failed as she didn’t respond, only gripped him tighter. He made a note to speak with Rawson about her. Surely her cousin could offer a suggestion. Jonathan took in the purplish area beneath her eyes. He also planned on discovering what Rawson knew about the curse. Perhaps if Catherine saw proof of it being false, she would snap out of this.

The following day when he left her, he noticed how she stood outside watching him until he reached too great a distance to see the lone figure in the road. He had no idea if she ever left that spot. Due to his concern over her, he pushed his stallion hard, covering the ground at a much swifter rate than his previous trip to Scotland.

As the miles moved behind him, he wondered if he’d done the right thing in leaving her. Simply because Rawson perceived danger didn’t mean she wouldn’t be safe at Linwood. He wouldn’t dream of taking her to Berwick or even venturing there himself, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t visit other places.

“Where have you been?” Aunt Mildred demanded the second he stepped foot into the manor, days after he’d left Catherine. “Without a word, you disappear and only send a rare letter to your brother. Have you no respect for the rest of us?”

Jonathan grinned. “I’ve missed you, too, Aunt. Why don’t we continue this talk in the drawing room?”

He swept his arm in the indicated direction and relaxed as she did as bid. The staff didn’t need to be appraised of his business.

Stanwick silently shook his head, clapped him on the back, then followed their aunt.

“Now, where is this wife of yours? I will not approve of this farce of a foreign marriage until she is presented to me.”

“She didn’t make the journey with me.”

“Why ever not? Is she breeding? I always knew your wild ways would get you in trouble. Why Miss Glace was—”

“No.” Jonathan had no desire to hear false accounts of Miss Glace’s distress. She held no fond feelings for him. “Catherine isn’t with child. I simply chose to leave her behind in order to prepare the family for meeting the new viscountess.”

She narrowed her eyes. “But we have already met her. Something odd is occurring, and I don’t like it.”

“Don’t fret. I shall bring Catherine before long.”

“See that you do. I don’t intend to remove myself from this house until I ascertain whether a Berwick is capable of upholding the position of Viscountess Linwood admirably. Honestly, I have my doubts.”

Without another word, Aunt Mildred left the room. Jonathan began to believe she would never choose to leave Linwood. If she continually made up excuses, they’d be stuck with her until her dying day. The thought didn’t bother him as much as it had at one point.

Somewhere along the line, Jonathan suspected he’d obtained his aunt’s approval, a feat that had proven more insurmountable than obtaining his father’s good opinion. And that knowledge comforted him.

“So, why did you leave Catherine in Scotland?” Stanwick asked after the door clicked shut.

“It wasn’t practical for her to come. I didn’t make the journey for a social call. I have business I must see to.”

Although Jonathan had told Stanwick of his location, he’d never mentioned anything regarding Rawson. The situation with Dudgery seemed to be aimed at him, so including his brother didn’t seem prudent.

“Why do I get the feeling there is more you are not telling me?”

Jonathan smiled at his brother’s accurate observation. “Perhaps I’m simply not ready to subject Catherine to Aunt Mildred’s tests. She is a formidable woman.”

“Let’s say I believe you. When are you planning to return to Linwood?”

“Anxious to return to London?”

Stanwick averted his eyes as red crawled up his neck. “Maybe a little. I would go now, but Dudgery has come by several times, and I don’t wish to leave the boys and Aunt Mildred alone. Ever since the earl married Lady Evelyn, an air of desperation follows him. I don’t like it.”

Shaking his head in a mournful manner, Jonathan attempted to hide the shock from his face. Rawson’s decision to keep Catherine away became clear. Had Dudgery come for him or his wife?

He leaned back in his chair, hoping Rawson would meet him soon. As matters stood, Jonathan couldn’t seek him out. They needed to quickly resolve this situation. Stanwick remained here to keep his brothers safe, but Jonathan had left his wife unprotected. The mere thought brought panic to his throat and froze his blood.

“Catherine, what are you doing here?” Vanessa exclaimed. “Take a seat. You look dreadful.”

“I apologize. I’ve been stuck in a carriage for far too long. I’ve come for a visit.” Catherine gratefully dropped herself into a chair. Although she’d been sitting in the carriage all day, her body felt worn out more often than it used to.

Vanessa smiled, obviously pleased. “I must say, that one letter I received from you months ago brought me more joy than I’ve had in years.”

“I’m glad you approve. I wasn’t sure how anyone would respond to a hasty decision to wed at Gretna Green.”

Although it wouldn’t last, seeing Vanessa’s happy face made Catherine glad Jonathan had allowed her to write to her cousin. She hadn’t understood why he’d insisted on keeping their location a secret even from family, but she had agreed for his sake.

“So, where’s your husband? You know I would welcome him for a visit as well.” Vanessa poured two cups of tea and handed one to Catherine before taking a sip.

Catherine set the delicate cup down with trembling hands. Her throat clogged, making her face burn. She needed to tell her cousin, but she didn’t want to say the words aloud. If she didn’t say it, maybe it wouldn’t be true.