His Promise (Married in Montana Book 1) (4 page)

“Dad, Bruce told me you asked him to stop calling. I was married, and he still called.”

Her father was shaking his head. “Yes, I did. After so many months of him not calling, he started again after you were married. I told him to stop, man to man, because he needed to understand that a man doesn’t call a married woman.”

What else could she say to her parents? She knew they loved her and had thought they were doing the best for her by keeping her in the dark. “But that was my decision, my chance with Bruce, and you took it away from me—from us. You should have told me, not kept it from me. It’s a wonder he doesn’t hate me, because if that were me in Bruce’s place, I’d hate him.”

***

Chapter Six

Driving into Columbia Falls twice in one week was something Kim didn’t do. She lived on a moderate income, and the extra gas she was using would tighten her budget for the month. She might need to consider picking up a part-time job. She could always go back to the feed store—it would do her good, she thought—but she also needed to find a way to make things up with Bruce, to somehow make it right with him, the thing she’d done because she believed he’d left her. What a mess.

The traffic was heavier in town this time of day, late afternoon, but she couldn’t wait until tomorrow. She considered going home and calling Bruce, but whatever it was she needed to do, it had to be in person. She had to see his face and be near him. In person was always better, and after all these years she wasn’t about to allow another forgotten message to be what ultimately kept them apart. She didn’t have a clue what she was going to say as she pulled into the parking lot of the grocery store across the street. Since the professional building where Bruce’s practice was had an underground lot with very little parking space, she wasn’t about to try there.

She locked her door and hesitated at the street corner, her legs feeling like lead weights as she crossed. Maybe he wasn’t even there. He could be at the hospital, or dealing with an emergency. She hesitated at the lobby door and almost chickened out when the door opened and two chatting women walked out. She grabbed the door and went inside, stopping at the elevator with another man who was waiting. When the elevator doors opened she stepped in, she jabbed her finger on the third-floor button. The man pressed four. The doors slid closed, and she stood beside him. He was close to her dad’s age, dressed in blue jeans and a dress shirt, she could feel his interest as he watched her.

“Nice day, isn’t it?” he said.

“It is,” she replied, praying the elevator would hurry up. She didn’t want to have a conversation with this man. “Oops, here’s my floor,” she said.

The elevator dinged, and she stepped forward, her nose to the steel door, counting the seconds until it opened. She didn’t look back as she stepped out, and she let out a heavy breath and searched the listings of offices and names on the wall. She found Bruce’s office number and turned to the right, going to the end of the hall to the office door with the sign saying, “Bruce Siegel, Pediatrician.”

She wanted to run her hands over the brass lettering and the last name she had practiced writing over and over as a teen, a name she had wanted to be hers. Mrs. Bruce Siegel, Kim Siegel—it was a fantasy that had ended in heartache and years of being alone, and what she had now was another man’s last name: Edwards. She was Kim Edwards. Somehow, it felt so wrong.

The door to the office opened, and a young woman pushing a stroller with a toddler inside stepped out. Kim jumped out of the way and smiled in her direction, glancing down at the little girl staring up at her. Another ache in her heart for the time that had passed. She and Bruce could have had a houseful of children, a boy with a round face, square jaw, and eyes as deep as his, and maybe a daughter she could spend time with, brushing her hair, sharing things that only girls did.

“Can I help you?” a voice called out to her as she was daydreaming, standing in the doorway amid the parents and children who filled the busy waiting area. Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea. She was about to leave when the woman behind the desk glanced up again. “Ma’am?”

So she stepped inside and closed the door, pulling the strap of her purse over her shoulder, squeezing the leather and feeling completely out of place.
Make an excuse
was the first thing that popped into her head. She stepped to the counter so everyone couldn’t overhear the pathetic excuse she was about to give for being there. She prayed that something intelligent would come to mind.

“Kim?”

Her face warmed and her throat thickened as she stared back at Bruce, who looked absolutely amazing as he strode down the hall toward the desk. He was wearing a dark blue shirt and the same black jeans he’d worn to her place the night before. He had a stethoscope around his neck, and he flicked a pen and tucked it into his shirt pocket. He said something to the woman behind the desk—maybe a nurse. Then he stepped over to Kim, his hand out toward her shoulder, blocking her from view of the other patients. She was grateful for that gesture, but then, Bruce had been nothing but a kind, good friend to her since he came back.

“Come into my office,” he said, guiding her down the hall to a room at the end. She could see a desk with two chairs in front of it. He closed the door behind her. “What brings you here?”

She stopped in the middle of the room and turned to face him. She couldn’t get her tongue to move. He was so much taller than her. Kim wasn’t short, but she had to look up at him. There was something so special about this man, who gave her all of his attention when he was talking to her. There was no being lost in his head or busy doing ten other things as some people did. He was always very much in the present.

“I’m sorry,” she said, and he frowned, his expression letting her know he was confused. “I talked to my mom—to both my parents, actually. They never told me you called, Bruce. I don’t know why Mom chose to keep it from me. I thought you left me. I never got your message. I think my mom and dad both decided you were as good as gone when you left for medical school and you’d soon realize you could find someone better.”

Now he appeared angry. She’d never really seen him angry. Annoyed, yes, but he was a man who controlled his emotions well, a man who thought things through. Even as a teen, he’d had fire and passion, but he was always levelheaded, like now. He was a man everyone respected. She thought the world of Bruce, but she didn’t know what he was thinking.

“Well, that’s truly sad that they think I’m that shallow. Did you believe the same thing?”

No, not what she was expecting. She opened her mouth to say no, absolutely not, but the truth was she had believed he’d done just that. How could she not when, as far as she was concerned, he’d up and left without a word, without trying to contact her? “Yes, I did. When you didn’t come home for the winter break, I felt left behind. What else was I to think?” How could he not understand? “Put yourself in my place. If it were me who left…”

“But you did.” He brushed past her. “You married someone else, Kim, and that left no chance to straighten anything out.” He was behind his desk, putting distance between them, glancing down at some files and then shifting them to the corner of his desk as if he didn’t know what to do. “Kim, it’s water under the bridge now. I got over it a long time ago.”

She didn’t want to hear that, afraid that next he would tell her he’d gotten over her. To hear that would truly be the end of any hope she was still holding on to. Maybe it was the heartbreak she couldn’t hide that made his expression soften.

“Kim…”

“Don’t say it,” she begged him, “because I never got over you. You’ve haunted my dreams every night, and you’re the reason I’m doomed to be alone, because I gave my heart away to you and never got it back. I can’t love anyone else.”

He started to say something, then closed his mouth. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking.

“I’m sorry, I should go,” she said. “You have patients waiting.”

She was shaking when she started to the door and reached for the handle. Then she felt his hand on her shoulder, and she turned to face him. He placed both of his large hands on her shoulders holding her there in such a caring way, and she breathed him in. When you love someone so deeply, the smell of him is better than any drug out there. His was a scent she craved, and it drove her crazy when she was near him. Not willing to have just that one fix, she needed to be with him, but she didn’t have any idea how to make it happen without seeming crazy.

Then he did the most unexpected thing: He leaned down, touching her forehead with his, nose to nose, sliding his hands up and over her face, into hair she had left loose and hanging down. Then he pulled away, stepped back, and said, “Have a great day.”

Leaving her no choice but to leave.

***

Chapter Seven

She stared up at the starry sky, fantasizing about a life that could have been, a life in which she could spend every day and night with the man she loved, to really know him, understand what he was thinking before he even said it. She thought she could’ve had that with Bruce, but as she wiped her face, which ached from the tears she’d cried all the way home from Columbia Falls, she realized she’d now played her last card. She’d opened her heart to the man, but after she hurt him so badly, he’d used his time and distance from her to heal. How could he? She had never healed, and it hurt to believe he was capable of moving on. She realized she would never be able to, not as long as she remained here, but where could she go and what could she really do? This was her home, where she’d grown up and where she expected to die.

Living way out here in the country in the peace and quiet had its perks, but it could also be the end of a person when it left so much time to think about things that were best dealt with and put aside, never to be thought of again. She could hear her horse nicker before she heard the sound of a vehicle in the distance. Maybe someone lost. Maybe a neighbor down the road. But the sound was closer, and she spotted lights in the distance coming down her driveway.

It was late for Kim. The sun had set an hour before, but the summer heat had really spiked the thermometer that week. It was so hot she wondered if the house would cool off any time before dawn.

She heard a door shut, then footsteps on her porch. She couldn’t see the front of the house, and she walked as fast as she could in the dark. She heard him before she saw him.

“Kim!” he shouted as he pounded on her door.

“I’m right here,” she said.

He turned and looked her way even though he’d have a hard time seeing her from where she stood in the shadows. “Kim, why don’t you have any lights on? What are you doing out in the dark?” He started down the stairs and stumbled off the last step.

“Oh, watch that last step. There’s a rock there. You can’t see in the dark.”

“Yeah, great, Kim, you could break your arm or your neck. You need an outside light on for safety.”

She actually shrugged, then realized he couldn’t see it. “Can’t afford it, Bruce. I keep the lights off so my electricity bill will be low. Besides, I know where everything is.”

He was right in front of her, so close she could reach out and touch him—but she didn’t, because she didn’t know why he was here. She squeezed her fists, and he put his hands on his hips, then moved another step closer, putting his hand on her elbow. “Come on in the house,” he said.

“Why? It’s cool out here.”

He slapped his hand to his neck. “Yeah, and the mosquitoes are out here, too.”

“Not that bad,” she said. She heard a few buzzing around, but they apparently really liked Bruce, as he slapped his hand to his forehead next.

“Kim, seriously, inside.” He nudged her forward, and she started up the steps. He was right with her, and she could feel every part of him even though he wasn’t touching her. She opened the screen door, and he followed her inside the dark house. She did turn on the light as she heard the screen door slap closed.

“You’re right, it is hot in here,” he said. “Did you open the windows?”

What did he think she was, an idiot? “I can assure you every window in this old house is open as wide as it can go, but they’re small windows and there isn’t much of a breeze tonight. By morning it should be cool enough.”

“By morning you’ll be a cranky mess from not getting enough sleep.”

“Cranky? Did you forget what it’s like out here?” she said. He was behaving as if this summer heat was new to him.

“I have air conditioning.” He smiled in that cocky way she loved.

“Spoiled, you are,” she said. And then they stood there, watching each other, the moment stretching out into an uncomfortable silence.

“Would you like some water? Or there’s wine still, the white you brought over. It’s in the fridge, so it’s cold.”

“No wine. I’m on call. I came to talk to you, Kim. There are some things I need to say to you.”

“Okay.” She stood there in between the living room and kitchen, her heart hammering as she watched him. There was sweat on his brow, his forehead shiny from the heat. Then he reached out and turned her, guiding her into the living room, sitting her on the edge of the faded brown sofa with the purple blanket she’d crocheted folded over the back. He stood in front of her, and she wondered if he saw the old furniture, the plain table, the lamp that had belonged to her parents. It was neat and tidy and clean, but it was nothing fancy. His legs brushed the coffee table, and he pulled the edge out and sat down. It was solid wood and sturdy—he obviously thought it would hold his weight. His knees surrounded hers as he leaned forward, resting his hands on both sides of her legs.

“Kim…” he started, but she reached up and put a shaky palm over his mouth.

“Don’t say it. I can’t bear to hear you say you got over me. I feel like such a fool, coming to you today.”

He pulled her hand down but didn’t let go of it. He held it in his. Did he pity her? Was that why he was there? “I didn’t say I got over you,” he said. His voice was so low and sexy, and he was watching her, his expression filled with emotion and something else that terrified her. It wasn’t a fear of him but a fear of finding something she’d never had.