His Saving Grace (Regency Refuge 1) (9 page)

****

After lunch, the vicar remained at Castle Felton and helped Grace in overseeing a math lesson. Rather than work on teaching the children how to write their numbers, she had decided today to have them do sums in their heads. She wanted them to be able to calculate how much change they should get from the baker or any other merchant if they ever overpaid for a purchase. Writing their numbers was a tedious and sometimes tiresome task for these children, but calculating totals in their head generally came easy. It was something they'd seen their parents do all their lives and, in some cases, had been doing themselves.

When time came for the children to return to their homes, Vicar Renner asked them to wait for him a moment so he could have a word with the duchess. "I want to thank you, Your Grace, for having me here today. I again want to tell you how sorry I am about the garden statue. I forgot how physical a game of hide and seek could become."

"It was my pleasure, Vicar. You were a delight for the children, and don't give the statue another thought."

Merriment twinkled in his eyes. "I may have enjoyed today more than the children."

"I'd love to have you back again," Grace said. "Maybe we can work out something regular." She knew she'd said the proper thing when the vicar's face lit up. Watching as he walked away to catch up with the children, she saw a newfound bounce in his step. He easily looked fifteen years younger than he had upon arrival.

"Today appears to have been a rousing success," Rupert said from behind her.

"I think you are most definitely correct about that," she said. Then, "I am going to lie down for a spell. I find myself weary. Make sure someone wakes me for the evening meal, please."

"Of course, Your Grace."

****

The shopping trip to Newcastle was an adventure. Elsie had never been away from Felton before and was awed by everything she saw. Margaret, on the other hand, acted as if she'd rather be anywhere else. Rupert accompanied the trio and, though it never showed on his face, Grace was certain that at times he had to find their girlish chatter tiresome.

Together, they found everything she was looking for and returned to Castle Felton with the carriage weighted down with wrapped parcels. It did her heart much good to find a letter from Thomas waiting for her. She tore the envelope open and removed the missive.

30 April 1815

Dearest Grace,

I do not have opportunity to write as often as I would wish or as often as I had promised. My sincerest apology for that. Know that I think of you constantly and am reassured you are well, safe, and being taken care of. I am assisting in a primarily administrative capacity over here, but the role is nonetheless vital, and I am honored to work with Wellington. I believe things here may come to a close within the coming year. I am being sent out with a diplomatic envoy sometime in the next week or two. You may not hear from me for a spell, but don't worry. I will not be unprotected on my journey.

Fondest wishes,

Thomas

Grace clutched the page to her chest and said, "He's well," to no one in particular. Then, turning to Rupert, she asked, "Did you receive any correspondence?"

Rupert nodded, a note in his hand. "He has some directions for me to pass on to the stewards at his different estates." Then he added, "He'd also like me to make sure you see a doctor."

Her gaze flew to Rupert's. "Why would he ask that of you?"
What on earth have you been saying about me?

Looking unruffled, Rupert said, "I may have mentioned you've been tired more than is normal of late."

Grace sat unceremoniously on a small bench in the foyer, a hand hovering over lips parted by surprise. "I'm mad at you for saying anything to him." When Rupert remained quiet, she told him, "This is the part where you apologize and ask my forgiveness."

With his usual poise, Rupert said, "I apologize, Your Grace, and beg your forgiveness."

Rolling her eyes, Grace said, "You could at least try to be convincing, Rupert. Why did you feel it necessary to say anything to His Grace?"

"I made an oath to protect you, and that includes your health. I twice suggested you see the doctor, but you refused both times. I felt I had no recourse."

Why does everything I do – or don't do – have to get noticed?

Fluttering her hand in a wayward fashion through the air, Grace said, "All right, all right, you win. Tell the doctor to come whenever it's convenient for him. In the meantime," she said, looking resignedly at the stairs, "I do believe I'm going to go lie down for a spell. The journey from Newcastle, it seems, has worn me out."
Don't you dare say it.

To his credit, neither by word not expression did Rupert remark on her apparent fatigue.

****

That night, as Elsie was taking down Grace's hair, the young girl said, "I've been thinking about 'ow you've been feeling poorly, Your Grace."

Tired to her core, Grace asked, "And what are your thoughts on the subject?"

"Well, my mum would get t' feelin' that way sometimes. She didn't get t' lie down and rest like you do, because there are always chores t' do and young children that need tending. I recall, sometimes when she was feeling sickly, it would turn out she was in the family way."

How? What? Not possible!

Grace's eyes shot to Elsie's freckled face in the mirror. The girl, oblivious, began brushing out her mistress's hair. "And you think I might be… that I might be..." She couldn't even finish the words.

Not noticing anything amiss, Elsie patiently brushed through Grace's midnight hair and said, "Some of your dresses are getting a bit snug around the middle. They still button, but it's not as easy as it used to be."

I'm getting fat. No crime there!

"But I couldn't be with child. Could I?"

Elsie's eyes finally raised from her work to look at Grace's face in the mirror. Without embarrassment, she said, "You're married."

Within minutes, Elsie had Grace's hair plaited. Already in her nightgown, Grace dismissed her maid and climbed into the large bed.
Lord above, could it be?
Before she could even give it any real thought, she was sound asleep and dreaming about smiling babies, nappies, and the husband she hadn't seen in more than two months.

****

"But I can't possibly be with child," Grace emphatically told the doctor the next day.

"Your Grace, I beg to differ." Then, blushing slightly, he asked, "Do you understand how children come to be?"

I should tell him no and see what he does!

Too shocked by the news the doctor had given her to be embarrassed, she said, "We were married such a short time before he left. I thought this sort of thing took months."

The doctor, continuing to look uncomfortable with their conversation, said, "I would say it's been some months since you conceived. I am guessing, but I believe you'll be welcoming this little person into the world sometime in the month following Martinmas."

Still not sure what she thought of the doctor's news, she asked he say nothing to the staff on his way out. She wanted some time to think on what he'd told her.
What do I do, Lord? What if Thomas doesn't come home?
Putting her hand over her belly, she closed her eyes.

Is it truly possible?

****

After the evening meal, Grace sought the sanctuary of the library, but Rupert was not far behind her. "Your Grace, might I have a word?"

Wishing she'd thought to retire early and avoid the conversation, she instead nodded her consent. Rupert entered and stood at attention as always. "Please do sit, Rupert. I know you have an official role here, but you're also Thomas's friend."

His face expressionless as usual, Rupert sat in a chair facing her and asked, "What did the doctor have to say?"

"Are you asking as butler, as a friend, or as someone who's going to report back to Thomas?"
I haven't forgotten the way you tattled on me for being tired.

Rupert frowned. Grace, who had never seen any expression other than an occasional glimpse of compassion on his face before, was taken aback. His reply served to further discombobulate her. "I am asking as someone who cares about you and the child you're carrying."

I told the doctor not to say anything!

When she continued to stare at him, he said, "I've surprised you, then."

"How did you know?"

"It's likely been obvious to everyone except you. Did the doctor say you are well?" She nodded. "Do you intend to tell Thomas?"

His words evoked a rush of emotion for her. She clasped her hands tightly in her lap in an attempt to prevent nervous fidgeting. Of course she wanted to tell Thomas. She could imagine how pleased he would be at the news.
But…

"I d-don't know," she finally said. "The last letter I have from him is almost a month old. I try not to fret, but it's hard. If he is in a difficult situation, I don't want his attention to waver. I don't want him thinking about me and the child when lack of attention to his own job could cost him his life."

Rupert laced his hands together and said, "While I am not terribly worried by the absence of correspondence, I understand your concerns."

"Do you think I should tell him about the baby?"
Please agree with me so I don't have to be confused about what to do.

With a thoughtful expression, Rupert said, "I think at this point it would be wise to keep that news from him. His last letter, though a month old, indicated he felt a turning point was coming. You can certainly reconsider telling him when you get his next letter, but for the present I think your logic is sound and silence may be the best option."

"We're in agreement then. I think that's likely what I'll do." She got the impression Rupert was in no hurry to leave and asked, "So everyone's already guessed?"

For the first time in Grace's memory, Rupert laughed. "Margaret told Mrs. Pembroke she's started sewing nappies and clothes for the little one."

His mirth spilled over, and Grace couldn't help but laugh with him. "I guess I'm more naïve than I'd realized." A comfortable silence settled around them, but something Rupert had said earlier gnawed at her until she had to mention it. "You said you care about me and the babe?" A nervous knot twisted her stomach.

Rupert nodded and maintained eye contact. His voice was warm and open as he said, "Thomas has been good to me. He's the brother I never had, and that makes you and your child family, too."

Thankful for his straightforward answer, Grace gave him a broad smile and said, "Good. I think of you sort of like a brother-in-law. Who also happens to be a valet and a butler and everything else any of us needs." She stood and headed for the door, ready now to retire. Before stepping out of the library, she spun around and impishly asked, "Does my husband pay you enough for all you do around this place?" Rupert's laughter was all the response she needed.

Aha! So there is a way beneath his façade of indifference. Now that I know it's possible, I shall have to dig that laughter out of him more often.