Hold Me (27 page)

“I get that,” Larissa said. “If it were just me in my family, I would have run away. My parents are fantastic, but intense.” She smiled at Destiny. “You’re lucky to have found each other so quickly. I was in love with Jack for ages and never figured it out. My mother had to tell me. Talk about humiliating.”

“Jeff and I knew from day one,” Cassidy said with a wink. “He said hi and I said hi, then we were staring into each other’s eyes. By the end of the first week, I’d moved in with him, and when we hit the six-month mark, we were married.” She sighed. “I do love a good love story.”

Taryn sniffed. “Me, too. Damn hormones are turning me into a girl.”

Madeline leaned toward her. “Taryn, honey, you
are
a girl. You knew that, didn’t you? Because if you didn’t, someone needs to have a little talk with Angel.”

“Very funny.”

Jo arrived with their lunches. “Congratulations,” she said. “I heard the happy news. That man moves fast. Opens a bar in town after only being here a couple of months and takes half my business. A few weeks later, he’s married with a kid on the way. Talk about being born under a lucky star.” The other woman shook her head. “Sorry. That came out wrong. I really am happy for you. Lunch is on me.”

Destiny looked at her. “Thanks.”

Jo left. Madeline touched Destiny’s arm. “Don’t worry about Jo. She’s fine.”

Destiny nodded, thinking Jo seemed more upset about The Man Cave than enthused about the wedding. Taryn tasted the healthy salad and declared it edible. Cassidy pressed for details about the wedding, and conversation moved on to other topics. Destiny relaxed as she realized she’d had no reason to worry at all. Friends didn’t judge. They were accepting and supportive.

She might be pregnant and dealing with a lot of changes, but she wasn’t alone. She had Kipling, Starr and these women to help her. After all the years of mostly being on her own, she had to admit it felt good to be connected.

* * *

S
ATURDAY
K
IPLING
PULLED
into the driveway of Destiny’s rental. They’d agreed he would move in with her until they closed on the house they’d bought. His place wasn’t any bigger, and Starr was already settled here. It didn’t make sense to move her twice.

The process of comingling their belongings would take a few days. He was bringing over a few things today and would officially move in with his furniture next weekend.

He carried boxes into the house. “Starr, it’s me,” he called.

The teen didn’t respond.

He’d phoned her earlier to let her know he would be dropping by. Destiny was out running errands, but Starr had said she would be home all afternoon. He walked down the hall and found her bedroom door open and the room empty. Maybe she’d gone out and left him a note, he thought, retracing his steps then heading to the kitchen.

He glanced at the kitchen table and didn’t see anything. Before he could figure out what to do next, movement caught his attention. He looked out the big window over the sink and saw Starr and a boy sitting on the bench seat on the patio.

The kid was familiar, Kipling thought. Gideon’s son. Carter.

The two teens were talking intently. They looked cute, he thought indulgently as he walked toward the back door to let them know he was here. His hand settled on the doorknob. Carter and Starr leaned toward each other. He opened the door as they kissed.

Kissed?

Kipling was outside in a heartbeat. “What the hell are you two doing?” he demanded.

The teens jumped apart. Carter sprang to his feet and stood between Kipling and Starr. A protective posture that would have been admirable if Kipling weren’t so pissed off. They were fifteen. That was too young for kissing, wasn’t it? Sure, kids these days did stuff, but not on his watch.

“Starr, does your sister know Carter is here?”

“Don’t yell at her,” Carter told him.

“I’m not yelling,” Kipling growled.

Starr looked around Carter. “You kind of are.” She looked more intrigued than scared. “It was just a kiss.”

“You’re fifteen.”

“We know that,” Carter said. “We’re allowed to kiss.”

“No, you’re not.” He moved toward the boy. “What you’re allowed to do is get the hell out of this house.”

“What?” Starr demanded, coming to her feet. “You’re not the boss of him. Or me. Just because you married my sister doesn’t mean you’re in charge. Destiny wouldn’t be upset.”

“Want to bet?” Kipling asked. He pointed at the door. “You get out of here.”

Carter didn’t move. “Not until you promise you won’t hurt Starr.”

“What? Hurt her?” He swore. “Starr, go to your room until Destiny gets home. Carter, get your ass out of here. You hear me?”

Carter and Starr exchanged a look, then they both nodded. There was a whispered conversation as they walked to the back door. Kipling followed. Starr went down the hall, and Carter left the house. Kipling looked at the clock and wondered how long it would take Destiny to get home.

* * *

D
ESTINY
GOT
HOME
as quickly as she could. She’d abandoned a nearly full cart at the grocery store, something she’d never done in her life. But Kipling had sounded more worried than she’d ever heard him.

He was waiting for her on the front step when she pulled up.

“They were kissing?” she asked as she got out of her car. “I can’t believe it.”

“Neither could I.”

“Starr said Carter was stopping by, but I didn’t think anything of it. They’re friends.”

“Good ones.”

Just then a truck came barreling around the corner and skidded to a stop in front of the house. Gideon got out and stalked toward them.

“What the hell were you thinking?” he demanded.

Destiny had met the other man a couple of times, in social situations. He was bigger than she remembered, and a lot more menacing. Kipling immediately stepped between her and Gideon.

Felicia scrambled out of the passenger side and hurried to her husband. “Gideon, we talked about this. Your anger may or may not be justified. I, too, want to punch in Kipling’s face, but we need to get the facts.” She paused and smiled tightly at Destiny. “Hi. We have a problem.”

There was an understatement, Destiny thought. “One we have to figure out.”

“I know what I saw,” Kipling growled and glared at Gideon. “Your son was over here, without permission, kissing Starr. She’s fifteen. If I hadn’t walked in, who knows what would have happened.”

Destiny wanted to say she had faith in her sister, but she also was a product of her wonky genetics. Destiny knew exactly how powerful sexual urges could be.

Felicia sighed. “Teenage hormones are formidable. Sexual desire can override judgment at any age, but when the parties in question are their age, it’s foolish to expect rational behavior.”

Gideon turned to her. “I love you. You’re right, and I still want to rip him apart.”

Kipling took a step toward him. “Go ahead and try.”

Destiny grabbed his arm while Felicia got in front of Gideon.

“You’re not helping,” Felicia said firmly.

“I don’t care about helping.”

“But you do care about Carter.”

Gideon stared at Kipling. “You had no right to yell at my son.”

“I told him to get out. If Starr was your daughter, what would you have done?”

“Stop it! Just stop it!”

The voice came from behind them. Destiny turned and saw Starr standing on the front porch. Tears filled her eyes.

“You don’t have to fight over this. It was just a kiss.”

Destiny hurried to her sister. “We’re worried about you.”

“It was just a kiss,” Starr whispered again. “Stop fighting like this. Stop yelling. What’s so bad about what we did? Haven’t you ever been in love?”

“You can’t be in love,” Gideon said flatly. “You’re too young.”

Felicia touched his arm. “Actually there are studies that suggest age isn’t—” She pressed her lips together. “Perhaps this isn’t the time for that kind of information.”

Love? Destiny had trouble inhaling.

Starr turned to Kipling. “You’re in love, right? So you know what I mean.”

He stared blankly. Starr frowned.

“You have to be in love,” she said. “With Destiny. You married her.”

Destiny had never heard such a loud silence. It grew and expanded until it was all that existed. It was like standing onstage and not remembering the words to a song. No, it was much worse than that. Humiliation burned hot, becoming shame. She wanted to run away but couldn’t move. It was one thing for her to know that her marriage to Kipling had been a practical decision, but another to have that very unromantic fact shared with the world. While she’d never said they were in love, people had assumed, and she’d let them.

Gideon and Felicia glanced at both of them then at each other. Starr’s breath caught.

“You got her pregnant, and you don’t even love her?” Starr surged toward Destiny. “Did you know?”

“We can talk about this later,” she murmured.

Starr stepped back. “Sure. I’ll be in my room.”

She went inside. Felicia cleared her throat.

“We’ll talk to Carter about kissing Starr. That perhaps they’re both too young.”

Kipling nodded. “I’m sorry I yelled at him. It was a knee-jerk reaction.”

“You have the jerk part right,” Gideon told him. “See that it doesn’t happen again. And I’m out of The Man Cave. Find another partner.”

They got in their truck and drove away.

Alone once again, Destiny found she couldn’t look at Kipling.

“I need to take care of Starr,” she said. “Why don’t you give us some time to work through this?”

She thought he might fight her, but instead he nodded and left. She went into the house.

Starr was waiting for her in the living room. She had Destiny’s guitar in her hand. Without saying anything, she handed it over then retreated to her room and closed the door.

Destiny sat on the sofa, her guitar next to her. She stared at the instrument, the implication clear. She would need the music because the only way to process her emotions was through a song. Only she was fine. Completely and totally fine.

Kipling didn’t love her. That wasn’t news. They got along. They were friends, and when she’d gotten pregnant, they’d made a sensible decision about their future. Everything was fine. Technically, it was what she’d always said she wanted.

He was a man who liked to fix things. She was his current project. There were worse fates.

She picked up the guitar and strummed the strings. Soft music filled the room. Love was a complication she’d never wanted or needed. To be the center of someone’s life—who needed that? Obviously, Kipling wasn’t in love with her. If he was, he would have said something. Or even hinted. But he hadn’t. He’d looked shocked. Maybe even horrified.

So he didn’t love her. That was fine, right? It wasn’t as if she loved him, either. Loving Kipling meant caring about him more than she cared about herself. It meant imagining life with him for years and years and being happy that of all the men she could have gotten pregnant with, she’d chosen him. Loving him meant being grateful he was in her life and trusting him to help her with Starr. Loving him meant that she knew for certain that forty years from now her heart would still beat faster when he walked into the room.

She realized the room had gotten a little blurry and blinked. Tears rolled onto her cheeks. She brushed them away, but more replaced them. Her throat tightened, and she fought against a sob. Because the truth had been there all along. She’d just never noticed. Somewhere along the way, she’d fallen in love with Kipling and as far as she could tell, he had no intention of loving her back.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

K
IPLING
KNEW
THAT
his week was about to get a whole lot worse. He sat at one of the tables by the bar and watched the rest of his partners take their seats. They were all there. Josh Golden, Raoul Moreno, Kenny Scott, Jack McGarry and Sam Ridge. The Stryker brothers: Rafe, Shane and Clay. Only Gideon was missing. Probably because he had already pulled out of the partnership.

Rafe, Josh and Kenny exchanged a look, as if they’d talked things over ahead of time, then Kenny turned to Kipling.

“We understand what happened with Carter,” he said. “If it was one of our daughters, we’d feel the same way. But the problem is bigger than you and Gideon going at it.”

“Kudos on taking him on,” Raoul added. “You know Gideon has Special Forces training, right?”

Kipling hadn’t known, but didn’t see how the information made any difference. He wasn’t going to stop protecting Starr because his opponent was dangerous.

Rafe shook his head. “If we could stay on topic...”

“I wasn’t off topic,” Raoul told him. “I was just saying, it took balls.”

“Big ones,” Kipling said. “Now why are we having this meeting?”

The partners exchanged a look that confirmed they’d all been in contact. Kipling was going to be the last to know, which meant the news wasn’t good.

“The women are upset,” Kenny said with a shrug. “The Man Cave is doing steady business. Not what we were at the opening, but still enough that they’re worried about Jo and how this is affecting her. Now personally I think she can take care of herself and her bar, but it’s not my decision. It’s Bailey’s.”

Kenny Scott was a big guy. Tall, muscled and a former NFL player. If Kipling had to pick the one person who wouldn’t be pushed around by the woman in his life, he would say it was Kenny. And he would be wrong.

“Let me see if I understand you,” Kipling said calmly. “We opened The Man Cave because there wasn’t a place in town for a guy to go and have a beer. Jo’s caters to women, and the restaurant bars aren’t the same. So we created this place together to solve a problem. Now you’re telling me you want out because it’s working?”

The other men shifted uneasily in their chairs.

“It’s not that simple,” Rafe began, then nodded. “But yeah, that’s about right. Look, the bar is great. I like it here. When I have a potential buyer in town, this is exactly where I want to bring him. But Heidi doesn’t like it. She and Jo are tight.”

“Jo talked to all your wives?”

Everyone nodded.

“And because she’s upset, you’re pulling out?”

“No,” Sam corrected. “Jo’s great, but I’m doing this for Dellina.”

The phrase “pussy whipped” came to mind, but Kipling knew there was no point in stating the obvious.

“Then go,” he said. “The business will survive without your support. I’ll make arrangements to buy you out.”

“No rush,” Rafe told him. “Start-ups need cash. You can pay me back last.”

“Me, too,” Jack said. “I just need to be able to tell Larissa that I’m out.”

“What he said,” Raoul added. “Except it’s Pia, not Larissa.”

In a matter of minutes, they were all gone. Kipling stood by the bar and wondered what the hell had just happened. Two days ago he’d totally screwed things up with Destiny, and now this?

Nick walked in from the back, his expression sympathetic.

“I take it you heard them,” Kipling muttered.

“Enough.”

“I thought we were doing something here. How’s the business doing, anyway?”

“Receipts are down. The tourist trade is steady, but it’s not enough. This isn’t exactly a place to bring the kids, and the majority of folks coming to town have families. So we need the locals to survive. If the women tell their husbands to boycott, we’re screwed.”

“You’ve lived here all your life. Any suggestions?”

“Talk to Jo.”

Kipling had already figured out he was going to have to. “And say what?”

“I don’t know. She’s a woman. Apologize.”

“That is not happening.” He thought about putting his fist through the bar, only the bar was solid wood. So it would win.

“I’m not the bad guy in all this,” he told Nick, only to remember the look in Starr’s eyes when he’d been unable to say he loved her sister. Because while thinking about that was hell, it was still easier than thinking about how he’d hurt Destiny.

“You’re not,” Nick agreed. “But you still have to fix it. Or we’re going to have to close.”

* * *

K
IPLING
WALKED
T
OWARD
Jo’s Bar via his sister’s bakery. He wasn’t sure what to think about what had just happened, let alone what he was supposed to say to the mysterious and powerful Jo. He figured Shelby might be able to offer advice.

When he got to the bakery, the teen at the counter waved him toward the back. He found Shelby standing over a couple dozen unfrosted cupcakes. But instead of smoothing on toppings, she was staring at the far wall. Her shoulders were slumped, her expression sad.

“What?” he said, concerned. “Tell me what’s happened.”

She jumped, as if he’d startled her, then she wiped her cheeks and shook her head.

“Sorry, big brother. There are problems you can’t fix.”

“I can fix this one.”

“I doubt it.”

“Tell me.”

She rolled her eyes. “It’s about my love life. Or lack thereof. Men are jerks, someone hurt my feelings and then he left town. Before you ask, no, you can’t fix it.” She gave him a shaky smile. “I love you like a brother, and you have to let this go.”

He glared at her. “Tell me.”

“No. I was seeing someone who was seeing a bunch of other women at the same time, and now he’s gone. It’s for the best. I’ll move on. I’ll find the right guy.”

Kipling was at her side in a heartbeat. “Did he—”

The sadness fled as tenderness filled her eyes. She hugged him.

“No,” she whispered. “He never hit me.” She straightened and touched his face. “Kipling, not all guys are like our dad. Some are jerks with their words and actions, not their fists. You can’t protect me from everything. I appreciate that you try, but please, let this go. I’m okay. Or I will be. It’s a good lesson. I need to stop falling for flashy, charming men. I need to find someone solid, who will love me for me.”

“Someone sensible?” he asked, thinking of Destiny and her ridiculous plan. She didn’t want love. She’d been clear on that. No strong emotions for her. So she should be happy that he wasn’t in love with her. Only she hadn’t looked happy, and in the past two days, she hadn’t taken any of his calls.

“Not exactly sensible,” Shelby admitted with a smile. “I want something more romantic than that. But someone steady. Someone I can depend on.” Her smile widened. “Who isn’t my brother. This isn’t something you can—or should—fix. Not every problem has a solution. Just let me heal and get on with my life.”

“That’s a clear message.”

“Good. What’s going on with you?”

“Not much.”

“How’s Destiny?”

“Great.”

“I’m glad you two are together. She’s so right for you.”

An unexpected statement. “How do you figure?”

“Because she’s caring, and you need someone to look out for you. Her family is a little wild, which means there will always be a crisis, and you like to take care of people. You have the same world view.” She laughed. “I don’t know. You fit. I like seeing the two of you together.”

Kipling kissed her forehead. “Thanks, kid. I’ll see you soon. Let me know if you need my help.”

“Always.”

He left. Shelby’s words echoed in his head.

He’d thought he’d slept with Destiny because she was hot and that he’d married her because she got pregnant. Was there more to it than that? Shelby’s description of their relationship made him wonder if there was more going on than he’d realized. But first he had to see a woman about her bar.

* * *

“L
ET
ME
KNOW
when you want to hike in, and I’ll come with you,” Cassidy said.

“It’s not your responsibility,” Destiny told her then looked back at the screen.

“We’re in this together. Besides, I like hiking.”

“Thanks.”

The last session with the volunteers had shown her there were blank areas in several of the search grids. While she and Miles had mapped as much as they could from the air, there were still several areas she had to cover on foot. She’d thought she’d gotten them all, but apparently not. Which was why she stayed on-site as long as she did.

She logged off her computer and collected her bag.

“You’re working late?” she asked Cassidy.

Her friend shook her head. “Nope. I have a date with Jeff over Skype in an hour. The lighting is better here than at my place.” She grinned. “I know, I know. After nearly twenty years of marriage, why on earth would I care about how I look, and yet I do.”

“Young love,” Destiny teased.

“Exactly.” Cassidy sighed. “I hope you and Kipling stay as in love as Jeff and me. Sure there are ups and downs in every marriage, but I would be lost without that man. And not in a way your fancy program could find me. Have a good night.”

“You, too.”

Destiny left the office and started home. As she walked toward home, she wondered how long she would be in love with Kipling. It had been two days since their last conversation. He’d tried to call her a couple of times, but she’d let him go to voice mail. When he’d texted, she’d asked for time. So far he was giving it to her.

She breathed in the warm air and wondered how she’d made such a mess of things. She’d fallen in love with a man who saw her as a project. Even more of a complication, she was pregnant with his child. It wasn’t as if she and Kipling could simply break up. They were going to be connected for the rest of their lives.

The idea of that was both wonderful and terrifying. If she had to stay in touch with him, how could she ever stop loving him? Because she had to stop. She saw that now.

All her life she’d been running from exactly what she found herself in now. An emotional mess. She’d been so sure she’d made all the right choices, but she hadn’t made any choices at all. She’d been hiding. From life. From herself. From her heart.

She arrived at the house just as Starr was walking up to the front door. They waved at each other.

“How was your day?” Destiny asked.

“Good.”

“Any more kissing?”

Her sister rolled her eyes. “You’re never letting that go, are you?”

“Probably not.”

They stepped into the living room and flopped onto the sofa.

“You’re not the type to kiss just any guy,” Destiny added. “So you must really like Carter.”

Starr blushed. “I do. He’s so great. I know we’re young, and I don’t want things to get serious, but when I’m around him...”

“Magic?”

“Yeah. Just like they talk about in songs. You know, like your feelings for Kipling.”

Destiny really hoped Starr wasn’t experiencing any of
those
kinds of feelings.

“But we’ve talked,” Starr continued. “There’s not going to be any more kissing. We’re going to hang out with friends and stuff. Be together, but not serious.”

“That’s a really smart decision.”

“You think? I’m trying. I thought a lot about what you said. About my parents and how they reacted instead of thinking things through.”

“You still have to have fun,” Destiny told her. “Be a kid.”

“I know, and I will. Just not so fast with boys. See. I’m learning from you.”

“You are.”

But Destiny wondered how much of the lesson was a good thing. Because it seemed to her, she might have gone too far in the sensible direction. It wasn’t as if her personal life had turned out so great.

Their sensible marriage was no longer so sensible. In fact, in the cold light of day, it was a ridiculous thing to have done. She was intelligent and capable. She could raise a child on her own. Not that she was trying to shut Kipling out or keep him from his baby. But marriage?

“I want to talk to you about something,” she said.

“What?”

“Kipling, mostly.”

Starr leaned her head against the sofa. “I wondered. He hasn’t been around.”

“He’s called but I haven’t wanted to talk to him.”

“Because he hurt your feelings?”

“Yes, and because I was confused. When I was your age...”

Destiny wasn’t sure how to explain something that didn’t quite make sense to her.

“I was determined not to be like my parents. I wanted a stable home. A sure thing. I got that from my Grandma Nell, but when I went out on my own, I was scared. What if I fell crazy in love and ran around the country, singing at honky-tonks and living on a bus?”