Hold Me (25 page)

“You don’t mind that she’s Daddy’s daughter with someone else?”

“What? No.” Lacey took a bite of lasagna. “Jimmy Don was never meant to be with just one woman. We were young and in love, and then you came along. A magical time. But our marriage never would have lasted. We’re too much alike. People in love should complete each other. Complement each other.”

“Are you in love?” Destiny asked.

“Not right now, but I hope to be again.” Her mother sighed. “It’s the best feeling in the world. Finding the one. Although I’ve never believed in forever, as you know.”

Destiny picked at her food. “Don’t you want that, Mama? Someone you can count on to always be there.”

“Maybe. But then I’d have to give up all the others. And there are plenty.” Lacey grinned, then her smile faded. “I don’t want you to worry about how I feel about you. You’re a joy to me. I hope you’ll find that joy with your sister. Did you adopt Starr?”

“I’m her legal guardian.”

“Maybe I should adopt. Aren’t there lots of orphans running around?”

There it was, Destiny thought, fighting irritation. The shift that would make her crazy. It would be followed by sharp words and a fight and the sense of being stuck in a never-ending loop of emotional conflict. Talk about exhausting.

“I’d need two,” Lacey mused. “So they could keep each other company.”

“We’re talking about children, not puppies,” Destiny said calmly.

“The same principles apply.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“There are differences, I suppose,” Lacey allowed. “You can’t take children to the pound if they get on your nerves.” Lacey smiled. “Although I do think I would look especially adorable with a couple of babies at my feet.”

“You’re always looking for distractions, Mama. What’s so bad about being you that you’re always looking to be someone else?”

Lacey froze, her glass halfway to her mouth. She stood suddenly and nearly ran to the living room. Seconds later she was back, her cell phone in her hand.

“Say that again,” she ordered. “What you just said.”

“That you distract yourself with ridiculous schemes that never—”

“No, that’s not it. I need the exact sentence. Or rather you do. There’s a song in that energy, Destiny. Tell me what you said, and I’ll email you the MP3 file of it.”

Destiny considered banging her head against the table but figured there was no point. Her mother would never change.

“What’s so bad about being you that you’re always looking to be someone else.”

Lacey tapped on her phone. “Got it. God, you’re talented! I’ve always known that.” She picked up her martini. “You should talk to Richard.”

“I don’t think so.” Destiny had nothing to say to her mother’s business manager.

“He knows people.”

“We all know people.”

“Oh, you know what I mean! You want to talk about me trying to be someone else? Let’s talk about you denying who you are. I’m not disappointed in you, Destiny, but I am worried. One day you’re going to wake up and realize you’ve been avoiding the truth about who you are. The sooner that happens, the sooner you honor your talent, the happier you’re going to be. What does your young man say about all this?”

She had to mean Kipling. Destiny thought about telling her he wasn’t her young man, only Lacey wouldn’t believe her, and even Destiny wasn’t quite sure if it was true or not. They were friends and they’d had sex and when she was around him...

“You have it bad,” her mother teased. “You have the look in your eyes. Isn’t it nice to be in love?”

“I’m not in love with him. I like him. He’s a good man, and I can count on him.”

“How’s the sex?” Lacey held up a hand. “Never mind. I’m your mother. It’s an awkward question, and I take it back. If my mama had asked that about Jimmy Don, I would have plumb died right there. For what it’s worth, I like him, too. He’s a handsome devil.”

Lacey leaned back in her chair and laughed. “You two could certainly produce some pretty babies.” Her eyes widened. “That’s it, Destiny! That’s what I need. Grandbabies. Then I get all the fun and none of the work. You get on that right away. You hear me?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

The words came automatically, but Destiny’s brain had hopped three subjects and taken a sharp left. Babies. Babies came from sex. She’d had sex with Kipling, and they hadn’t used any protection.

None of which would have bothered her because it was her first time, and surely the body would protect her or something. Only it had been over three weeks, and she hadn’t gotten her period yet. Math might not be her strongest subject, but even she could add up one night of doing it, three weeks of being late and get that they might very well make a baby.

* * *

K
IPLING
LOOKED
UP
from his paperwork. “You could have come to me for the money, Shelby. I would have given it to you.”

Shelby covered her face with her hands. “Don’t make me feel guilty for asking. I wanted to do this myself. I wanted to stand on my own.” She dropped her hands and glared at him. “I mean it, Kipling. You don’t get to say how I live my life.”

While he understood her point, he couldn’t get past the fact that they were family. Of course he would give his sister the money to buy into the bakery. But she hadn’t asked. Instead, she’d gone to the bank for a loan.

“If they hadn’t needed someone to cosign, would you have told me about this?” he asked.

She hesitated just long enough for him to get his answer.

“I only want what’s best for you,” he told her as he grabbed the pen and scrawled his name.

“Kip, don’t be mad. I’m sorry. I appreciate all that you do for me. It’s just sometimes I want to be my own person without having to always be asking you for things. Can you understand that?”

“Sure.” He handed her the paperwork.

She took it but didn’t leave. “You’re upset.”

“I’m not the bad guy. I haven’t done anything wrong. I want to help you in every way I can. If that means cosigning your loan, then I’ve done it. Go buy into the bakery.”

“You still love me?”

Some of his hurt and anger faded. “Shelby, you’re my sister. I’ll always love you, no matter what. I signed the paperwork, didn’t I?” Because the act was always more important than the words.

“I love you, too. Thanks for doing this.”

He nodded, and she left.

Kipling settled back at his desk but couldn’t seem to get interested in the spreadsheet on his computer. He sort of understood what his sister had told him, but he still thought she should have come to him rather than a bank. He also thought she was making a rash decision about buying into the bakery so soon after moving to Fool’s Gold, which he’d already told her. It was probably the reason she’d gone to the bank in the first place.

He closed the spreadsheet and clicked on his email. He had one from Gideon saying he was getting lots of pushback from women on The Man Cave. Something else Kipling didn’t want to think about. He saved the email then stood and paced restlessly in his office.

There were too many things going on, he thought. Problems he couldn’t fix. The issue with The Man Cave and Jo’s Bar frustrated him. There’d been a need. He’d filled the need, and now he was the one in the wrong.

Couldn’t the men in this town stand up to their wives and girlfriends? There was plenty of business for both locations. Tourists would have options on where to go. Why was that bad?

As for Shelby—not much he could do there. He’d done his best, and now she had to make her own decisions. And live with the consequences. Because if he was right and it all went—

The door to his office opened, and Destiny walked in. Kipling immediately relaxed. Not only was she a nice distraction from all the things he couldn’t control, being around her grounded him, too. Something he couldn’t explain but was willing to accept.

“Hey,” he began, then paused.

She was upset. He could see it in her eyes. Emotions churned. She was flushed and tense. He crossed to her.

“What’s wrong? How can I help?” Fixing her problem would go a long way to make them both feel better.

She stared at him and laughed. Only the sound was more strained than happy.

“You’ve already done enough,” she said. “Did you know my body doesn’t care that I was a virgin? I looked it up online. Something I should have done before. But I figured I got a free pass. Just one. Or maybe some kind of protection from my hymen or something. But, no. There’s nothing.”

She wasn’t scaring him exactly, but she sure wasn’t herself. The emotions he’d long suspected she buried had finally broken through, and it wasn’t the thrillfest he’d been hoping for.

“Destiny,” he said calmly. “Catch your breath and then tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m breathing fine.” She exhaled to demonstrate. “See. This is me breathing. As for what’s going on, nothing new. Nothing that hasn’t been going on for weeks now. I’m pregnant. I saved myself all these years because I wasn’t sure. Because I wanted to make a rational decision. I wasn’t going to become my parents who, by the way, actually
did
wait until they were married to have sex and get pregnant. My mom told me this morning. Who knew?”

Pregnant? Destiny was having a baby? His baby? Kipling took in the news. Mentally, he turned it over in his mind, not sure how he felt about it. He liked kids. He’d been hoping to have kids. He could make sure he was always there to fix things for a kid. Yeah, he could do this. A child. He felt himself start to grin. A mini G-Force.

“I don’t get it,” she said, her voice rising just a little. “There should be a one-time protection mechanism. Like a do-over. But no. Virgins get no special allowances. Instead, there are consequences. That’s what gets me. I believe in consequences. I’m a huge fan. I live my life to avoid ever having to worry about them. But there we were, on the bench in the bar, doing it, and I’m pregnant.”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“No!” The word came out as a shriek.

She visibly drew in a breath. “No,” she repeated more quietly. “I’m not okay. I’m just getting things together with Starr. We don’t even have a permanent place to live. We’ve decided to stay in Fool’s Gold, but it’s not like I have a job lined up. Or even a plan. What am I supposed to do with my life? And now there’s a baby?”

She walked to the window then turned back and glared at him. “This is so your fault. Before I met you I was a calm and rational person. Now I’m
pregnant
. And I have feelings. Like before, after our dinner? I wanted you to kiss me but you didn’t, and I was upset. What’s with that? I’ve gone my whole life not needing to be kissed. Things are a whole lot more calm when there’s no kissing, let me tell you.”

He leaned against the desk and held in a smile. Oh, yeah, this was the Destiny he’d long suspected was hidden inside. The passionate woman who sang with body and soul.

“Don’t look at me like that!” she told him.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. With amusement and pride. I’m not a puppy.”

“I never said you were.”

She stomped her foot. “I want to throw something! Do you know what that means? I really am my parents. I’ve worked so hard to not be them, and here I am, wanting to throw a plate at your head!”

He crossed to her, grabbed her by her upper arms, hauled her against him and pressed his mouth against hers. When he drew back, he stared into her green eyes and knew exactly how to solve the problem.

“Marry me.”

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

D
ESTINY
SAT
ON
HER
BED
. The part where she’d left Kipling’s office and walked or possibly run home was kind of a blur. She remembered him proposing. She was pretty sure she’d told him no, burst into tears and then run off. But maybe the fact that she couldn’t exactly remember meant she’d politely thanked him for his generous offer then had sedately strolled away.

Or not. And remembering was highly overrated, anyway.

She reached for her guitar. Her fingers found chords. She wasn’t looking for a song, but the act of playing allowed her to relax.

On the bright side, Lacey had left that morning. The whirlwind visit had ended with her mother promising to return in a couple of months to see how things were going with Starr. Destiny had a feeling that once word of her pregnancy spread, Lacey would become a regular in Fool’s Gold.

She had to admit, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Having a baby was scary. Knowing her own mother would be around was nice.

She continued to play, thinking that now that she was pregnant, wine was out of the question. Which meant she was going to have to curl up with a glass of milk and some cookies later. Dairy was good for her, wasn’t it? And if she had raisin oatmeal cookies, they were practically a fruit and a whole grain.

Nutrition aside, she’d had a life and a direction. Maybe a slightly strange one, but a life that was hers all the same. A life that was basically laughable now. Wasn’t she ridiculously old for an unplanned pregnancy? Shouldn’t she have known better? All the running from her genetics and her family had landed her in a situation even her mother had managed to avoid. Single and pregnant and nearly thirty.

She kept watching the clock and when it was time, she put down her guitar and walked into the living room to wait for Starr to get home.

A few minutes later the teen flew into the house. The second she saw Destiny, she started talking.

“There’s a musical. They’re putting on a musical the last week of summer, and I want to audition for one of the lead roles. Do you think I can do it?”

“Of course. You have a beautiful voice.”

“I’m so scared,” Starr admitted with a laugh, as she dumped her backpack on the floor by the sofa. “What if I freak out?”

“You’ll know the music,” Destiny told her. “Why don’t I talk to Kipling? Maybe he can open The Man Cave some Saturday afternoon so you and your friends can practice with a microphone and a few family members in the audience. Less pressure than an audition, but in a safe environment.”

“That’s an awesome idea. Thanks. I was going to ask you what song you think I should sing. They gave us a list to choose from.”

“We can look them over tonight.”

“That would be great.” Starr wrinkled her nose. “What’s up? You have a scrunchy face.”

“What?”

“Your face is all scrunched up. Something happened.”

Destiny figured things were bad when she couldn’t fool a fifteen-year-old. “Have a seat. We need to talk.”

Starr’s happiness faded as her mouth straightened. She sank onto the sofa. “Is it bad?”

“No. I’m not sick, you’re not sick. We’re staying in Fool’s Gold. It’s something else.” She settled next to her sister.

How on earth was she supposed to come clean? She was going to sound like an idiot. Which she was, in a way.

She tried to smile but had a feeling it came out more as a scary grimace. Still, Starr stayed where she was and didn’t shriek or anything.

Destiny opened her mouth then closed it. Simple was better, she decided, then went for it. “I’m pregnant. Kipling is the father.”

“Oh, wow.” Starr stared at her. “I knew you two were, like, going out, but I didn’t know... Wow, so are you keeping the baby?”

“Yes.” She hadn’t considered not keeping it. “I am. So I guess you’re going to be an aunt.”

Starr grinned. “You’re right. That’s cool. I can help. I don’t know anything about babies, but I can learn.”

Destiny didn’t know anything about babies, either, but didn’t think saying that out loud would make either of them feel better.

“Kipling proposed to me.”

Starr grabbed her hands. “Did he? That’s wicked! When are you getting married? Because that’s what people do, right? Get married and have babies? It makes them a family.”

Destiny started to tell her, no, they weren’t getting married. That lots of people didn’t get married. Then she remembered that Jimmy Don had never married Starr’s mother. Jimmy Don was the kind of father who hadn’t married her mother or taken her in when she’d needed a place to go. He hadn’t even remembered her birthday.

Destiny squeezed her hands. “It doesn’t make them a family,” she whispered. “It’s the loving that does that, not being married.”

“But getting married helps.”

Talk about an unexpected twist, Destiny thought helplessly. Kipling wasn’t her idea of a sensible choice. There was too much chemistry between them. Sure he was kind and caring, and he would always be there to support her. She liked how he could have had a huge ego based on his previous career and fame, but he didn’t. He was practically ordinary.

But the sex thing concerned her. Strong emotions were nothing but trouble. She didn’t love him, and he didn’t love her, so that was a start, she supposed. But was their friendship enough to sustain a marriage? Even more to the point, had his proposal been a knee-jerk reaction to the news, or had he meant it?

Because until she’d stared into her sister’s face, it had never occurred to her to say yes. And now, it seemed, she might not have a choice.

* * *

K
IPLING
HAD
DECIDED
not to push Destiny. He knew she’d been avoiding him, but time and geography were on his side. Not to mention the fact that they had to work together. Finding out she was pregnant was news that would take a while for him to absorb. He was still dealing with it himself. But them getting married wasn’t an option. She was having his baby, and he was determined to be a part of his child’s life.

But she was still making her way, so he didn’t seek her out. They had a second search scheduled, and there was no way she wouldn’t show up. So he’d loaded up his gear, driven to the search area and waited.

She arrived minutes after him. When she stepped out of her car, she had on her usual jeans, T-shirt and hiking boots. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail. She wasn’t wearing makeup.

That was his Destiny, he thought with a smile. Honest. The shadows under her eyes were a testament to the fact that she hadn’t been sleeping. He would guess finding out she was pregnant had messed up a lot of things in her life.

“Hi,” she said cautiously when she saw him. Her expression was wary.

“No.”

She blinked. “No what?”

“No, I’m not going to talk about our personal business at work.”

“Oh.” She visibly relaxed. “Okay. Good. Are you ready?”

He held up his tablet, with tracking software installed. “I am.”

The rules were similar to what they had been for the first search. Cassidy had gone about a mile or so in from the main road. She would keep moving away from them for about a mile, then turn in a different direction and start walking in wide circles. A classic pattern for someone who was lost.

If this test went well, then they would expand the practice sessions. Volunteers would pose as the missing person, Kipling and Cassidy would run the search and Destiny would move to observation only. After each practice search, she would run the debrief.

“Where do you want to start?” Destiny asked.

He knew she was talking about their test and not her pregnancy. He pointed to the path. “We’ll take the obvious road first.”

They were each equipped with GPS tracking devices that would feed real-time data to the computer program. Destiny put in the data they had, including Cassidy’s approximate start time and the fact that she was being classified as a hiking novice. For their purposes today, she was.

Kipling watched Destiny work. She was quick and efficient then told him they could move out. He motioned for her to lead the way.

For the first few minutes, they didn’t talk. He walked easily, his injuries not bothering him today.

He and Destiny followed the path for a quarter mile before it branched out in two directions. He pointed to the left. There was no way of knowing which way Cassidy had chosen, but that was part of the fun.

The underbrush was thick, the air sweet with flowers and a light breeze. It was already warm and would get hotter as the day progressed.

Funny how a year ago he’d been lying in a hospital in New Zealand, drugged and broken, talking to Mayor Marsha about taking a job in a place he’d never heard of, and now he was here. A lot had changed. He’d given up skiing for good and while some days he had regrets, most of the time he was able to deal with what had happened. Had it been his choice? No. But he’d managed to move on. Sure he still wanted to battle the mountain, but he never would. He could accept that and live happily, or he could be bitter forever. The choice was his.

Somehow in the past couple of months, he’d started moving toward the former. Maybe it was time healing or maybe it was Destiny. Being around her made him feel better about everything.

It wasn’t love. He wasn’t willing to reduce what they had to empty words. Instead, he found himself wanting to be there for her. To take care of her. He knew she felt the same way. Destiny believed in action. Look at how she’d stepped up with Starr. They didn’t need love. They had each other and mutual respect. Even more important, they were going to have a child.

“We’d do well together.”

Destiny swung around to face him, nearly tripping as she turned. He reached out and steadied her.

“This is us not talking about it?” she asked.

“I changed my mind.”

“You don’t have to marry me,” she told him.

“I want to.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re having a baby. We’re both traditional enough to want to be part of a family. We could make that happen.”

He had no idea what she was thinking. She didn’t look away, and she didn’t say no.

“I have Starr.”

“I know. She’s part of the deal. Having us get married will give her a sense of stability. You won’t have to do everything yourself. You can depend on me, Destiny.”

Her mouth twisted. “You’re not going to try to convince me you love me?”

“No. I will tell you that we have a lot in common. I understand why you keep your passions buried, and I’m okay with that. But when you have to let loose and throw a few plates, I’m good at ducking.”

“I would never throw a plate.”

“You talked about it.”

“Not the same as doing it.” She drew in a breath. “You’re going to want sex, aren’t you?”

He did his best not to smile. “Yes, I am.”

“A lot?”

“It depends on your definition of a lot.”

She nodded, as if she’d expected the answer. “I’m not going to like it, but you can do it whenever you want. I won’t say no.”

Now he did smile. “Thank you for that.”

She had no idea what she was getting into, he thought humorously. Giving him as much access as he wanted. Once they were married, he would make sure she found out what all the fuss was about. Based on what he’d seen so far, Destiny was hiding more passion than even she was aware of. Unleashed, she would be unstoppable. And he couldn’t wait to get in the way.

“If you still want to marry me,” she said with a sigh, “then I’m saying yes. For the baby and for Starr.”

“Good. Sooner is probably better than later. Say toward the end of this week?”

She nodded. “Then we should probably get back to finding Cassidy.”

He pointed to the path. “I’m right here behind you.”

* * *

D
ESTINY
HADN
’
T
EXPECTED
that a wedding could be pulled together in less than forty-eight hours, but it turned out it could. The fact that there were no guests helped. As did holding it in Mayor Marsha’s office in City Hall, with only the bride, groom, Shelby and Starr attending. Bailey, the mayor’s assistant, and Shelby were the witnesses. Before Destiny could catch her breath, she was married.

When Mayor Marsha smiled and said, “You may now kiss your bride,” Destiny realized she felt nothing. She was totally numb—both emotionally and physically. Kipling’s lips barely registered. After, when everyone congratulated her, she was pretty sure she smiled and said the right things, but it was all happening from a great distance.

The next couple of hours passed in a blur. Shelby was going to stay with Starr for the night while Destiny and Kipling had a mini honeymoon at Ronan’s Lodge. Destiny was aware of packing her overnight duffel and hugging her sister. There was a short drive to the lodge and the business of checking in. Then she was standing in the middle of a pretty hotel suite wondering what on earth she’d been thinking. About all of it.