Hold U Down (20 page)

“Yes, there is. She's telling me that these pants aren't fifty dollars after I just picked them up from over there on the sale rack. Now, I came here to shop, not argue over some stupid-ass pants!”

“Ma'am, I'm sorry. Janette, have you forgotten that the customer is always right? If she says that she got them from off the sale rack, then she did.”

Arching her eyebrow and tooting up her lip, Unique gave the girl the “now what” look.

“I think she owes me an apology.” Unique smirked.

“Sorry,” Janette spat.

“Thank you.” After being rung up, Unique grabbed her bag, smiled, and walked out of the store, proud that she had wiggled herself out of another sticky situation.

“Remind me to give you back that book
Mina's Joint
,” Unique said to Zoë as she caught up to her, but Zoë couldn't hear her.

Her eyes were fixated on Legend and an unknown woman and a child walking out of the mall together. Legend was carrying a little girl who looked to be about four with caramel skin just like his. The woman he was walking with tripped, but Legend reached his hand out to prevent her from falling. They laughed and smiled at one another.

Feeling her heart drop out of her chest, Zoë closed her eyes and wished that it was all a bad dream. Reopening her eyes, she still saw what looked like Legend and his woman.

Sensing that something was wrong, Unique stopped too. “What's the matter? Why you stop?”

Zoë wanted desperately to talk, but she couldn't. All she could do was stare at Legend and cry.

“What's wrong?” Unique asked, becoming worried. Looking in the same direction as Zoë, she saw her cousin's worst nightmare come true.

“Uh-uh.” Unique shook her head. “Don't you let another tear fall from your eyes, you hear me?” Unique instructed forcefully.

Nodding her head and wiping her eyes, Zoë agreed.

“How does my face look?” she sniffled.

Unique took Zoë's face in her hands and looked directly in her eyes and said, “Beautiful.”

Pulling her shoulders back and holding her head up high, Zoë prepared herself for a confrontation. Legend never even saw her coming because he was so involved in conversation.

“What's up, Legend? I thought you were helping your friend!” Zoë yelled, coming across the parking lot.

Hearing Zoë's voice caused Legend to almost shit on himself, but he played it cool. “I did. I mean I was,” he stuttered as he kept on walking.

“Hold up! Don't walk away from me. I know you hear me talkin' to you,” she yelled, grabbing his arm.

“Look, can we talk about this later?”

“Nigga, is you crazy? We're going to talk about this right now.”

“Zoë, what the fuck is your problem?” the woman with Legend snapped.

“Hold up! How the fuck do you know me?”

“Oh, please. Don't nobody know you!” The woman waved her off.

“Bitch, you just said my name. How the fuck do you know me?”

“Anyway, I ain't got time for this. Legend, you betta get your li'l friend.”

“I'ma talk to you later, a'ight ?” he said, facing her.

“You got to be fuckin' kidding me.”

“Look, I said I was gon' talk to you later. Quit sweatin' me!”

“Nigga, don't you ever . . . in your life . . . try to play me!” Zoë yelled, ready to slap Legend again.

“Uh-uh, Z, come on! Fuck him. He ain't shit,” Unique said, grabbing her arm and pulling her away.

 

 

Later that night, Zoë sat on her couch with a box of tissues, crying her eyes out. All the lights in the house were out, the fireplace was burning, and Destiny's Child's “Is She the Reason” was stuck on repeat. With her knees curled up to her chest, she tried to push the thought of Legend and the other woman out of her mind, but visions of them, hand in hand, continued to play repeatedly in her mind like a home movie.

So she's the reason I never see him
, she thought. His girl was the reason he didn't come through and see her on a regular basis. She was the reason he didn't call every day. She was the reason he had to get up and go home as soon as they finished having sex. His woman and his daughter were the reason for everything.

Shaking her head, Zoë reached for another tissue just as someone began beating on her door. It was Legend.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“Man, you better open this muthafuckin' door!”

“I ain't got nothing to say to you.”

“Come on, ma. Open up the door,” he whispered, placing his forehead on the door.

“Nigga, I ain't opening up shit! Go home to your family. I'm sure your daughter needs you.”

“Look, I'm tryin' my best not to clown wit' you, but in a minute you gon' make me bust yo' ass.”

“Nigga, fuck you!”

“Don't make me kick this muthafucka in!” he yelled, kicking the door with his foot.

“Huh! What the fuck is it? We don't have shit to talk about.” She sighed, swinging the door open.

“You gon' let me explain?”

“Explain what? That you played me?”

“I didn't know how to tell you.”

“It was simple. All you had to do was say, ‘I got a girl.' How hard would that have been?”

“It was too late, and I had already started catching feelings for you. I couldn't hurt you like that.”

“Well, guess what, nigga? You did. You should have told me so I could've had a choice in this.”

“Hold up. We're not together, so why you trippin'?”

“I know we're not together! That has never been the issue. You should've let me know that you were seeing someone else.”

“I should have. I fucked up. What more can I say?”

“There ain't nothing you can say. You played me. If you had a woman, then that was all you had to say. You didn't have to lie, and you didn't have to keep it a secret. You could've been a man and let me know. Hell, I'm grown. We still could've kicked it. I could've handled it. Do you know how that made me feel, seeing you with her?”

“I'm sorry. You're right; I should've told you,” he said, sincerely caressing her cheek.

“Don't touch me!” She pushed his hand away. “I can't believe you tried to play me!. Nigga, do you not know who the fuck I am? You better be more careful. Take your wack-ass apology and step, 'cause I ain't even tryin' to hear it.”

“If that's what you want then—”

“If that's what I want? Nigga, you got a woman and a child. What am I supposed to do, keep on fuckin' you and be your bitch on the side? I don't think so! I straight up got feelings for you.”

“Got feelings for me?”

“Yeah, nigga, I love you.”

“I got feelings for you, too, but this is my situation.”

“Do you love me?”

“Come on, ma. Why you gotta go there?”

“Do you love me or not?” she pressed.

“I don't know.”

“Huh . . . it's cool, boo. It was fun while it lasted. Now get the fuck out.”

“Are you not hearing me when I say that I got feelings for you? Why can't that be enough?”

“'Cause I deserve more,” she yelled. “You are the first man that I have ever caught feelings for. I got enough on my plate with school and these streets than to be worried about you. I want more for myself than a fuck, Legend. I deserve to have a man that I come home to at night. I deserve to have somebody who is going to be there for me when I need him, not somebody who I can only call when I want to cum.”

“Well, since you don't want to listen to shit I gotta say, I'm up.”

“Bye, nigga!” Zoë slammed the door behind him.
Fuck him
, she thought.
It's better to hurt than to live a lie.

 

 

Lying on her side curled up underneath the sheets, Zoë stared out the window as snow fell from the sky. The fireplace in her bedroom heated and lit up the entire room as she held her cordless phone in hand. Playing Russian Roulette for the eleventh time that day, she attempted to call Legend. Six digits into the number, once again, she hung up.

Zoë had made the conscious decision that she would rather play stupid than be without Legend. Never before had she craved the attention of a man. Nights and days passed by where she wished he would call and say, “Hey you,” like he used to. She tried numerous techniques to get over him, like sleeping the day away, but that didn't work because she would only dream of him. Talking to her friends only caused her to talk about him and the things they used to do. Listening to the radio never worked because some sad love song would be playing. It was like the universe was commanding her to run back into Legend's arms, but running back to him would hurt her more in the long run.

 

 

Unbeknownst to Zoë, Legend was in his car, thinking of her as well. Driving down I-170, he replayed the fight they'd had over and over again in his mind.

He could see it like it just went down, her yelling and screaming. The words
Get out!
still rang in his ears. He could still see the tears that ran down her face as he left. Legend remembered how he was about to explode with anger as he walked out, leaving her alone. He knew that he was wrong for doing Zoë the way he did.

Nothing in his life seemed to be the same without her. She honestly made his life better, but the truth was, they couldn't be together. Legend should have been upfront with Zoë about his situation, but fear always kept him from telling her the truth. Legend was slacking and he knew it. The whole ordeal should have never gone down. He wished that he could take it all back, but in life there was no rewind.

If Legend could have his way, the day before would be today, and he would take back everything he'd said. He should have stayed with her instead of dipping out like a punk. Instead of fighting, they should have been making love until the sun went down. Tired of wishing, Legend parked his car and got out.

Hearing a faint knock at the door, Zoë jumped up, wondering if she was hearing things. She sat as still as she could and listened for the sound again. Hearing it again, she eased out of bed and headed to the door. She knew who it was without asking. Without hesitation, Zoë unlocked the door and opened it.

No words spoken between the two, Legend closed the door behind him and took her into his arms. He carried her back into the bedroom and gently laid Zoë down and gazed into her eyes. He couldn't make her any promises of a happily-ever-after or that they would be together, but he needed to see her.

The sound of fire crackling behind them as he turned down the bed distracted the voices that were in Zoë's head. Her conscience kept on telling her to kick him out, but she couldn't.

Zoë knew that she was betraying herself by sleeping with Legend, so selfishly she let him back into her heart one more time. She didn't want to hear any promises or lies; she only wanted to feel the touch of his skin pressed up against hers. There, in the dark, she placed her mind, body, soul, and heart into Legend's hands.

Holding one another closely, they lay face to face, exchanging breaths and wondering if they were making the right decision.

Fuck it
, she thought. Zoë closed her eyes, parted her lips, and pretended that Legend was all hers. She told herself that she would deal with the repercussions of her decision in the morning.

Invading her mouth with his, Legend felt Zoë's body melt into his arms. He softly kissed her neck while lying on top of her.

The satin camisole and short set that she wore was gently removed from her body as kisses were planted on her wanting breasts. Completely naked, not only physically but emotionally, Zoë took Legend's lips and kissed him deeply. Excited by the smell of his cologne, she guided him into her. She tried not to make eye contact with him as he rocked slowly inside of her.

All thoughts were lost when she looked him in the eye. The feelings she had for this man made her feel insane. Zoë never knew that another human being could have so much control over a person. To be with Legend, she would give up everything. Everything she wanted, Legend had, from his appearance to the way he dressed and the swagger in his walk. Financially he was straight, and the fact that he was smart never hurt, but it still remained that he had a woman at home.

Not wanting to think anymore, she wrapped her legs around his back and pulled him closer.

“I missed you, ma,” he whispered into her ear as he grinded in and out of her slowly.

“I missed you, too, baby,” she moaned as tears ran down the sides of her face.

Legend held her thighs in both of his hands while he rotated his hips, working his dick around. Hitting all four corners, he licked and sucked her hard nipples. He pumped roughly, showing Zoë exactly what his deepstroke could do.

Feeling like she was on top of the world, Zoë called out for God.

“You like that?”

“Yes!” she screamed, scratching his back.

“Shit, girl, what the fuck you doing to me?” he yelled, cumming.

“Legend!” Zoë screamed, cumming too.

Gripping her waist, he pumped until he couldn't hold it any longer. Not wanting to cum inside of her, he quickly pulled out and came on the sheets. Panting heavily and still reveling from the tingling sensation in between her legs, Zoë lay there staring at the ceiling, wondering if she had made the right choice.

“Where are we going?”

“I told you that I wanted to get a drink at the WS before we went out to dinner,” Unique said while checking her makeup in the mirror.

“You had me pull out my Bentley GT for this?”

“Bigg, stop complaining. You know you love when you get to drive this car.”

“I can't believe you got me all dressed up in this hot-ass suit just to go to the WS! Niggas gon' be looking at me like I'm crazy.”

“No, they won't. You look handsome.”

“You can drink at the restaurant. I don't feel like being around a bunch of hard heads tonight. Let's just go to the restaurant,” he whined like a child.

Just as Unique was about to check him, the sight of Bigg in a suit took over. She had to admit that the man looked good in just about anything he wore. Gazing over at him, she admired Bigg's all-black Hugo Boss tailor-made suit. His black satin tie, fresh cut, and all-black Scooby Doos made his cycle complete.

She was decked out in a satin ivory Ralph Lauren halter gown with a plunging neckline. Unique's hair was pulled to the back, swept into a side bun. Neil Lane chandelier diamond earrings adorned her ears, while silver diamond-encrusted Gucci heels adorned her feet.

“Just 'cause it's your birthday doesn't mean that you get to act like a spoiled brat. Quit bitchin' and come on.” Unique rolled her eyes, grabbing her ivory mink stole.

“I better get some head tonight for this shit,” Bigg replied as he helped her out of the car.

“Shut up, boy.” She grinned.

Holding his hand, she led him through the revolving doors of the building as all of their friends and family screamed, “Surprise!” In front of Bigg stood everyone he was close to. From the staff at his record label to hustlers on the block, everybody was there to show love. The entire crowd was dressed in either winter white or black.

The ladies wore their finest gowns, while the men donned their flyest suits. Around the room were hundreds upon hundreds of black and white balloons. Vases filled with white calla lilies were on each table. The lights were dimmed, music was bumping, go-go dancers danced on black podiums, and the smell of fresh seafood and champagne filled the air.

Kissing him on the cheek, Unique whispered, “Happy twenty-eighth birthday, baby.”

“I can't believe you did this.” He smiled, a little embarrassed.

“You're my baby and I love you. You deserve everything good that comes to you.”

Hugging her tight, Bigg patted Unique's butt and kissed her lips.

“Happy birthday, nigga!” Chris gave Bigg a pound and a hug.

“Thanks.”

“Quit hugging that nigga so tight. You know he's getting old. You might break something,” NaSheed joked.

“This nigga.” Bigg laughed.

“We got yo' ass, didn't we?” Legend confirmed.

“Yeah, y'all got me.”

“Happy birthday, Bigg!” Zoë exclaimed, giving him a hug. She was dressed in a long, white, beaded, spaghetti-strapped Monique Lhuillier gown.

“Y'all here together?” Bigg questioned, being nosey.

“Nah.” Zoë shook her head.

“It's a long story, man,” Legend added, feeling uncomfortable.

“Come on, Z. Let's go get a drink,” Unique said, taking Zoë's hand and leading her away from an uncomfortable situation.

“Happy birthday, Bigg,” Patience gushed, running over to Bigg.

“Baby sis, you look beautiful,” Bigg replied, taking in her off-white, spaghetti-strapped Tracy Reese baby doll dress and silver open-toed Jimmy Choo stiletto heels.

“Thank you.” She blushed.

“What's going on wit' you and Zoë?” Bigg turned his attention back to Legend, not missing a thing.

“Unique didn't tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

“They caught me wit' my BM and my daughter in the mall the other day.”

“I ain't even know you had a daughter.”

“I don't get to see her that much,” Legend lied. “But enough about me. It's your birthday. Let's celebrate.”

“Damn, Nique went all out,” Bigg said, examining the room but making a mental note of Legend's unexpected news of a child.

“Right. She got ice sculptures, balloons, flowers, and candles everywhere,” Cezar chimed in.

“You ain't seen that big-ass picture she got up of you yet, have you?” NaSheed asked.

“Nah.”

“Come on. Let me show it to you.”

At the bar, Zoë and Unique sat watching their men. Zoë couldn't take her eyes off of Legend. She had been eyeing him all night. Their night of passion still had her reeling.

“Girl, if you don't quit staring at that nigga I'm gon' hurt you,” Unique warned.

“I can't help it.”

“Look, evidently the bitch don't mean that much to him, 'cause if she did, she would've been here tonight.”

“I guess.” Zoë sighed.

“Nah, fuck that ‘I guess' shit! Bitch, what happened to the old Zoë? The old Zoë wouldn't have gave a fuck about another bitch. If you want his ass, you better move that ho to the side and claim what's yours.”

“You're right.”

“I know I am, but look, I gotta go get ready for Bigg's surprise.”

“I can't believe you're actually going through wit' it.” Zoë laughed.

“Girl, please. Bigg knows whose pussy this is. He ain't gon' trip.”

“Hold up. I'm coming wit' you.”

“Can I get my grown man on for a second?” Bigg posed, holding a Lino Cuban cigar in one hand and a bottle of Cristal in the other while Jay-Z's “Excuse Me, Miss” played in the background.

“Man, this my joint right here!” Chris bobbed his head as he watched the go-go dancers twirl their bodies like snakes.

“Where Nique go?” Bigg questioned, looking around for her.

“I don't know.” Cezar shrugged.

“Happy birthday, Bigg!” Queen Isis Jones greeted him with a warm smile.

“What's up, ma? Thanks for coming.”

“You know I wouldn't have missed your birthday party for the world.”

“Mind if I take a picture of you two for the
St. Louis American
?” Bill Beene, the entertainment editor, asked.

“Nah, man. Ain't no thing,” Bigg said, holding Queen Isis Jones by the waist and smiling.

“On three. One, two, three.”
Snap.
“Thanks, Bigg. I appreciate it.”

“No problem. Anytime.”

“Excuse me. Can I have everyone's attention?” Patience spoke into a microphone. “On behalf of me and my sister, Unique, we want to thank each of you for coming out and celebrating my big brother's birthday with us. We hope that you all enjoy yourself. There is plenty of food and champagne for everyone, but before you get your grub on, we would like for Bigg to cut the cake. Bigg, will you please come to the front?”

Shaking his head, Bigg walked to the front of the room where a chair was awaiting him.

“Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you!” While everyone sang to Bigg, one of the go-go dancers wheeled out a giant white cake. “Happy birthday dear Bigg! Happy birthday to you!” The next thing Bigg knew, the cake's lids lifted open and Unique sprang out. Shocked, he doubled over in laughter as everyone applauded.

Climbing out of the cake, Unique kissed Bigg on the lips and backed him into his chair.

Popping her coochie, she and the go-go dancers went into the dance routine that had been choreographed especially for Unique. Clad in a trucker hat, black bustier, black booty shorts, fishnets stockings, go-go boots, and a whip, Unique did her thing. Winding her hips and dropping it like it was hot, she danced around Bigg. Throwing nothing but twenties at her, Bigg smiled and smacked her on the ass.

Unique backed it up on him and grinded her hips slowly as the crowd clapped and cheered. Holding her waist, Bigg tried to kiss her neck, but Unique slapped his hands away. She stood back up and went back into the routine with the go-go dancers. By the end of the song, Bigg's pockets were empty and Unique had over two thousand dollars in her hat.

“'Come here.”

Jumping into his arms, Unique hugged her man around the neck. “Surprise!” She laughed.

“That was hot, ma.”

“Thank you, baby. I was so nervous.”

“Can I get that show again tonight?”

“Yep, but next time I'll be naked.” She grinned while nibbling on his ear.

“Where did you get dressed at?” he asked, putting her down.

“I got us a suite for the weekend.”

“Oh, you really doing it big.”

“A bitch don't wanna brag, but you know how I do.”

“Yo, shorty, that was hot!” NaSheed exclaimed.

“Right. I wish a chick would do something like that for me,” Chris added.

“One day, fellas, one day. But, baby, let me go get changed.”

“A'ight, hurry back,” Bigg said, smacking her on the ass as she left.

“Ay, while Unique is getting dressed, we can go upstairs to my room and get blazed,” NaSheed suggested.

“You ain't said nothing but a word, dog.”

Five minutes later, the guys were in NaSheed's suite getting high. Loosening his tie, Bigg stared out the window and thanked God for allowing him to reach another birthday.

“You gon' hit this or what?” NaSheed asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“Yeah,” Bigg answered, leaving the window. Walking into the bedroom, he saw that NaSheed had pulled out a DVD. “Yo, what's that? Mami got a fat ass.”

“Some li'l porn video I copped off the street yesterday.”

“Put it in,” Chris said as he rolled up another blunt.

“I'll be right back. I gotta go take a piss.” Bigg excused himself from the room.

“Man, this gon' be some bullshit! This some old homemade in the kitchen porn! Screen all fuzzy, you can barely see them muthafuckas!” Chris yelled, disappointed.

“Negro, please! He got ol' girl in the doggystyle and everything,” Legend argued.

“Mouth full of balls!” NaSheed joked.

“Fuck that. You see ol' girl ass.” Cezar grinned.

“He fuckin' the shit out li'l momma,” Legend added.

“Goddamn, look at that ass!” Bigg yelled as he reentered the room.

“I don't hear you. You feel that?”
the guy on the tape asked as he roughly pumped in and out of the girl's ass.

“Yes, yes, fuck me daddy!”
the girl shrieked, sounding as if she wanted to cry. Ignoring her cries, the guy then took her legs and put them above her head so that the camera could showcase her vagina.

“Ooooh, look at that shit! Mami got a fat-ass clit!” NaSheed shouted.

“Yo, dog, I would fuck her until I couldn't fuck no more!” Bigg stated, taking a pull from the blunt.

“Look at this nigga talkin' shit, knowing his ass on lockdown.”

“Fuck all that! I would risk getting my ass kicked to hit that,” Bigg countered, holding his dick.

“Fuck fucking the pussy. What about eating the pussy!” NaSheed suggested.

“This ol' pussy-eatin' nigga.” Cezar laughed.

“Do you see her titties, though, dog? Them muthafuckas look all soft and pretty and shit,” Legend pointed out.

“Right,” Bigg replied as the camera panned to the guy's face. “Ay, wait a minute. Ain't that that nigga Tone that Unique used to mess wit'?”

“Yeah, that's that nigga,” Chris answered.

“That's a nasty muthafucka! I know that lanky nigga from anywhere,” Bigg yelled and for a split moment his mind wondered if Tone had done the same thing to Unique.

“Yo, look at shorty face,” Legend said, pointing to the screen.

“Yo . . . wait . . . slow up on mami's face,” Bigg ordered.

“Fuck her face. Go back to the bitch pussy!” NaSheed joked.

“Nah, nah, for real. Ol' girl look familiar. I seen her somewhere before. Slow that down.” Grabbing the remote, NaSheed slowed it down then zoomed in on the girl's face.

“You like my dick in yo' ass?”
Tone growled.

“Yes, daddy, yes. Fuck me!
” the young girl shrilled in pain.

Realizing who it was on the tape, Bigg yelled, “Oh my God! That's baby sis on the fuckin' screen!” Pacing back and forth, he held his head down and tried to get the image out of his mind.

“Goddamn! I ain't know Patience was doing it like that. I need to holla at her,” NaSheed said, astonished.

“Nigga, turn that shit off before I shoot that muthafucka off!” Bigg shouted.

“Hold up, dog. I got this room on my girl credit card. Chill!”

“I don't give a fuck! Turn that muthafucka off!” Bigg barked.

Running over to the screen, Chris pressed stop on the DVD player. “Where did you get that shit from?” he questioned NaSheed.

“I got it from Sammy off the street when I went to get some bootleg DVDs. Everybody got one.”

“You ain't know that was Patience on there?”

“Nah, nigga, you saw the cover. The only thing on there was her ass,” NaSheed lied. He had seen the DVD beforehand. He knew that if Bigg saw it he would go crazy and kill Tone, and if Bigg killed Tone, he would go to jail. With Bigg in jail, NaSheed could get off scott free and go into the witness protection program as planned.