Holding Her Breath (Indigo) (15 page)

“Heard from him tonight?” Whitney asked.

Erika shook her head.

“Big surprise.”

“He’s just stressed because he can’t find a job.”

She snorted. “That would make sense if he were actually looking for one.”

Erika stopped drumming her fingers. “I know what you guys think about him.”

“That he mooches off you and treats you like crap even though you would do anything in the world for him?” She put her hand over Erika’s. “You know what I want to know?”

“Probably not.”

“I want to know why you put up with it. Don’t you think you deserve better?” She moved her chair closer to her friend’s. “I know that you do.”

Erika pushed her red clutch back and forth between her hands on the table. “He loves me. I know it. He’s just—we’re going through a rough spot. When he finds a job, things’ll get better.”

“He’s been living there two years and hasn’t helped you with rent once. Hasn’t even helped you with so much as groceries.” It would be a miracle if things did improve. The two of them seemed to always be going through a “rough spot.” It was always “when” and “if” and “maybe” with those two.

“I just don’t want to believe I’m wrong about him,” Erika said.

“It’s okay if you are,” Whitney said. “Sometimes these things are just beyond our control.” She put a hand on Erika’s back. Erika hated to admit defeat. Especially when it came to men. And for some reason, she really seemed to love foolish A.J., no matter how outrageously he acted.

Erika waved away Whitney’s words. “Enough about me. What about you and this Chace? You can keep denying it all you want, but I can just feel the attraction between you two.” Erika grabbed Whitney’s hands and leaned in for a conspiratorial whisper. “I’ve never seen you look at a guy like you look at him.”

It was her turn to be dismissive. “It’s nothing. If I feel anything for him, it’s infatuation. He’s fun to look at.” She glanced across the room as if she had to confirm that fact. He waved. She waved back and fought the urge to wave him over to their table.

“No. I’ve seen you with some pretty boys before, but he’s more than a pretty boy. More importantly, he’s more than a pretty boy to you. You and I both know it,” Erika said.

“Yeah, yeah.” She laughed off her friend’s words, but she was secretly afraid that Erika was right.

* * *

Chace and Whitney stood near the edge of the dance floor as midnight approached. They were taking a break from dancing and waiting for the countdown to begin. Erika had gone outside to call A.J.—argue with him was more like it. The others were scattered around the club.

Someone cut the music. Heads turned toward the large projector screen near the D.J. booth that displayed the ball in Times Square.

“I’ve never been kissed on New Year’s,” she said as the countdown began, voices chanting numbers all around them. The dark room packed with people holding up plastic champagne flutes filled with amber liquid.

Chace was about to reply when the entire space around them erupted in a din of cheering.

“Happy New Year!” The shout went out around the room.

He leaned in and pressed his hand to her cheek. His lips rested against hers for a moment, soft and warm. He then opened her lips with his just enough so that she could taste the tip of his tongue. After brushing soft kisses along her bottom lip, he pulled back. She leaned slightly toward him when he did, wanting more.

“Now you have. Happy New Year,” he said.

She stood there, just staring, full of desire. So full of it that she couldn’t even wrap her mind around wishing him a Happy New Year back. That was it? That couldn’t be it. No matter what waited on the other side of that kiss—the kiss she’d expected to get—she had to have it. She wouldn’t be cheated.

“I’m sorry. That was out of line. I should have never—”

“Shh.” She locked her fingers behind his neck.

He raised his eyebrows, perplexity shadowing his angled, handsome face.

“Kiss me again. I want to touch and taste every corner of your mouth.”

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close. His lips moved over hers with a painful slowness. He seemed to want to move faster, but he took his time and gave her what she’d asked for. He acted as if he was trying to control himself the way she was.

She buried her hands in his hair, kneading her fingers into his scalp. This won a small groan from him, and he pressed his lips tighter to hers. She wanted to press him against the wall and wrap her legs around him, but she was still aware enough that they were in a roomful of people not to do that. It was a good thing they were in that room of people because she wanted their kiss to lead to more so badly that her whole body ached.

When they had to come up for air, Chace pressed her tightly to his body.

She knew it was stupid to do that with a man who’d just confessed he wanted more from her. And maybe he really was confused and didn’t know any better. She guessed a broken heart could do something like that to a person. In any case, she knew he was rebounding even if he didn’t. She wouldn’t allow herself to get carried away.

Now she would have to explain what’d just happened to the friends she knew had seen. They’d been keeping curious eyes on Chace and Whitney all night.

But could she say that kiss hadn’t been worth it? Not a chance. She buried her face in his chest, closed her eyes, and smiled. For the moment, she was just going to live in the fantasy. For as long as she could get away with it.

Wednesday morning Chace sat on the couch in his new apartment, browsing through websites, looking for new cameras. Whitney and being in D.C. had inspired him to get serious about his photography. He also had a webpage open with job listings on it, telling himself he was looking for a day job. Rob had left early that morning, off to do whatever small business owners did, Chace guessed. Apparently Rob was trying to open a physical store soon, so he was really busy with things related to that. He’d gotten his loan from the bank a while ago, and he was overseeing renovations on the space he’d leased for his store. The place was supposed to open in less than two months.

He smiled, feeling his whole body warm when he saw that Whitney had emailed him back. They’d been emailing back and forth ever since she’d gotten on the metro that morning for her first day back to work since her vacation. He already missed her. They’d spent all of New Year’s Day together. They hadn’t talked about the kiss, but he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. Or about what he’d wanted that kiss to lead to. Whether he was allowed to say it or not, he was falling for her. Hard.

The way she held her head when she laughed. How she put her hand on the side of her neck, right in the delicate, delicious curve of it when she was thinking. The way she scrunched up her lips when she was disgusted by something. All these small things and more he’d noticed and adored over the past few days.

After holding her in his arms a few moments, he wanted more. He wanted to hold her in them forever. But Kelly was screwing things up for him even though she was supposedly out of the picture. Because of Kelly, Whitney didn’t think he was serious. Because of Kelly, Whitney thought he just wanted to use her as a way to get over the girl who’d broken his heart and moved on.

Truthfully, he’d moved on from Kelly pretty quickly after she’d left. He’d just been so disgusted with her, it hadn’t taken much. Once her stuff was gone, he’d been able to exorcise the rest of her, too. He’d cared about her, sure, but he didn’t have any patience at all for what she’d done to him.

Now Whitney. There was someone he could trust. Someone real and beautiful and so full of life when he could get her to loosen up enough so that he could pry it out of her. He admired her drive in life, but he was worried that maybe she’d let that drive take over her life. Crowd everything out but work.

Chace was about to email Whitney back when he saw that he had an email flagged “urgent” from Kelly. On the chance that it was, he opened it. He nearly dropped his computer when he did. A few sentences had the potential to change everything. It read:

I’m pregnant. I don’t know if it’s yours or Hank’s. Haven’t said anything to him yet. I’m scared, Chace. Call me.

He just wanted to be done with Kelly. Kelly preggers? No good, no good, no good. He’d always wanted kids, but not like this. If anyone was going to have his kids now, he wanted it to be Whitney. Not lying, cheating, scheming Kelly.

At that moment, his cell rang. He picked it up and looked at the caller ID. Ethan. And from Ethan’s cell phone. He’d forgotten Ethan got back in the country that day. He put the phone to his ear.

“Hello,” Chace mumbled while reading Kelly’s short, horrifying email over and over again.

“Hey, bud. I’m back in the R.I.C., good ole Richmond. How goes it? Haven’t heard from you in a while. I tried to Skype you a few times.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that.”

“What’s wrong, Chace? You sound weird.”

Chace’s stomach clenched up on him and he pushed his laptop aside. He didn’t know how to tell Ethan, or if he should. He’d just found out himself and hadn’t had a chance to digest the information. He couldn’t be with her again, no matter what. He’d take care of the kid if it was his, but he was done with Kelly even if she wanted him back. Done. Forever. He’d moved on to a woman who didn’t realize he had yet.

“Chace? You still there?”

“Uh, yeah, bud. I’m fine. How was your flight? How many movies did you watch? Anything good?”

“Chace. I’ve known you too long to buy these lies. What’s up, man? What is up?”

He felt like he was going to die, but that didn’t feel appropriate to say.

“Is this about Kelly? Whatever it is man, she’s not worth it. You’re free. Please don’t go back into the darkness.”

“She’s pregnant,” Chace blurted out.

This time, the silence on the line was on Ethan’s end.

“Ethan, man, why do these things happen to me?” Chace clasped his hand to his forehead. He then read the email to Ethan verbatim.

“That’s crazy, man.”

“It gets worse. I think I’m in love.”

“With Kelly?”

“No.” Chace took a deep breath and told Ethan everything about Whitney.

When he was done, Ethan said, “Man, I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say I don’t know what I’m talking about or I’m crazy. I heard that already from Whitney.”

“Smart lady.”

“The smartest, most wonderful, most gorgeous creature in the world. That’s what makes this even more screwed up than it would be in the first place. But anyway, I don’t wanna hear that mess. I know how I feel. I’ve dated a lot of girls. I’ve rebounded before. I know me well enough to know this is real. This is love.”

“Well, I don’t know what to say to you then, man.”

“Just say something that doesn’t make me want to jump out of a window right now.”

“I went to Australia to spend a day or two before I flew out. I almost got bit by one of the deadliest snakes in the world. Twice. I woulda made Erwin proud, man.” That was why Chace was glad to have Ethan for a friend. His best friend.

Chace laughed. He laughed so hard he almost dropped the phone. He’d needed that worse than anything else in the world. “You’re an idiot.”

“Hey, you act like this is news to you.”

“True.”

“You should have been there, man. The most amazing experience of my life. I swear.”

“You say that after every trip.”

“That’s because it’s always true.”

They talked for a while longer, and by the time Chace got off the phone, he felt a little better. Until he realized he couldn’t put off talking to Kelly any longer. Even though he had no idea what to say to her.

With a heavy sigh, he picked up the phone and dialed Kelly’s number.

“Finally. All it took was me getting knocked up to get you on the phone,” Kelly said.

Chace didn’t laugh at her attempt at a joke because it wasn’t funny. “What is this, Kelly? You were on the pill.” Chace shuddered, thinking that he wished he’d used a condom, too, but he’d stopped doing that after a few months of what he’d thought was a monogamous relationship. How was he supposed to know his girlfriend was sleeping around?

“You act like I did it on purpose.”

“All I know is I want this to be over. How long until you can find out whose kid it is?”

“Why are you being so mean?”

“What are you talking about? I’m just asking questions.”

“You could sound a little less angry.”

He laughed mirthlessly. “What do you want me to say? You’re having my baby? What a beautiful way to say you love me?”

“Fine. Be an ass. I can’t get tested until the second trimester. I asked the doctor.”

“How pregnant are you?”

“Six weeks. I was late and I kept putting off taking the test, hoping I’d get my period. Finally, I took one—actually three—and the doctor confirmed it this morning.”

Chace put his forehead in his free hand. “This is unbelievable.”