Holier Than Thou (The Tome of Bill) (23 page)

Her eyes flickered to Ed and Benny, then back to me. She gave a single nod and the glow that surrounded her dimmed.

The witches’ attack began to close in on her, but that still wasn’t good enough for Decker. He turned the gun on her and took aim.

“And now, Icon, you...”

A screech sounded in the night, drowning out the rest of his threat. It was as if someone had stuck a bobcat into a blender and set it to liquefy. What the fuck?

Before the last of its echoes had died away, there came a blur of movement, too fast for my weary eyes to follow. When it was over, Decker stood there a moment longer - a look of pure surprise on his face - before keeling over dead. His throat had been completely torn out.

* * *

Before I could process Decker’s sudden and unlamented demise, I heard a whistling noise followed by a thunk. I turned just in time to see the vampires holding Ed and Benny turn to dust. Silver throwing knives clattered to the ground along with their ashes.

I’d seen weapons like that before. Come to think of it, I had heard a screech like that too. Hell, I was still hearing it in my nightmares.

No fucking way.

One of Decker’s witches ran toward his body. They certainly were a devoted bunch. Not too bright or cautious for that matter, though. Another whistle and thunk found an arrow buried nearly to its fletching in her chest. Someone had brought a bow to a magic fight and they were winning.

The rest of Decker’s crew wasn’t quite as keen on following their leader down to whatever Hell he was being carted off to. They immediately ceased their assault and disappeared in bright flashes of light. So much for their alliance.

That just left Remington and his vampires.

They backed off from Sheila and Sally and reformed ranks, although it seemed their resolve was shaken. I couldn’t blame them. If what I was thinking was true, they were up against a force that they stood no chance against. It’s really hard to fight one-hundred percent batshit crazy, especially if that crazy wasn’t alone.

Almost as if in response to what was coming, the skies opened up and it began to pour. I’d like to say the cold rain felt good on my gushing shoulder, but it really didn’t.

Remington stepped to the forefront of his group and stalked over to me. Taking charge, he turned and started barking orders. Four of his men loosely surrounded Sheila - taking care to block her escape while staying outside of her reach. She was obviously still their primary target. The rest of us were just icing on the cake...at least some of us. At the very least, I’d make a nice trophy. Not sure the same could be said for the others.

The rest of his men took up defensive positions around us all. I tried to rise, but Remington’s boot forced me down. I was still trying to catch my second wind and once more found the back of my head clonking down upon the pavement...but hey, at least this time it was wet pavement.

He turned to the darkness beyond the parking lot’s lights and spoke, his tone conveying confidence and authority...no doubt to help inspire his shaken men. “Show yourselves! I am here on the authority of the First Coven. Surrender now and perhaps mercy shall be...” *
SPLORCH!*

A splash of blood washed down upon me as his speech was cut short. Blinking it out of my eyes, I looked up to find a hand protruding from the front of his stomach. It was petite in size, like that belonging to a little girl of perhaps twelve years of age.

“I do not ask for mercy, nor am I predisposed to offer it.”

The hand withdrew from Remington, who promptly fell to his knees, clutching his ruined midsection. It wasn’t a mortal wound, for a vampire at least, but I had no doubt that was purposeful. Vampires are tough and they heal very fast, especially the older they are, but there’s nothing wrong with our nerves. Being gutted hurts like a salt-encrusted motherfucker. Trust me I know.

Gansetseg - the crazy-ass vampire princess who had started a war simply to keep me from getting hitched - stepped out from behind him, casually shoving him to the side. She gave her hand a shake, sending droplets of gore flying, visible even in the rain.

She stepped over and looked down upon me. At that moment, lightning flashed. Silken black hair framed her fair skin, accentuated by her bright green eyes...eyes that betrayed a soul far older than the body it inhabited - a soul that was nuttier than any fruitcake I’d ever had the displeasure of sampling.

“Hello, my beloved. It has been far too long.”

Irresistible Force Meets Immoveable Object

“Tell your men to withdraw,” Gan said. It was not a request. She made the slightest movement with her hand and half a dozen figures jumped down from the rooftop of the school. They wore traditional Mongolian battle gear, the type assassins favored. I knew it well, having been exposed to it more times than I would have cared.

Half of them held hand crossbows, and the others brandished throwing knives. Though Remington’s men had the number advantage, none were equipped for ranged combat. Even for a novice like me, it was blindingly obvious that most of them would be cut down if they tried to go on the offensive. This wasn’t even counting the threat Sheila and I still represented...well, okay, that she did. The best I could currently do was sputter out some scathing one-liners. Sadly, even in that I was at a disadvantage. I found myself at a complete loss of words. Where the fuck had Gan come from, and what was she doing there?

Still, it was best not to look a gift horse in the mouth. While Remington’s troops were weighing their options, I decided to take stock of the situation. Wincing from the effort, I managed to prop myself up on an elbow and take a look around.

Ed had made his way over to Sally and was trying to help her up. In typical Sally fashion, though, she brushed off his efforts and got to her feet on her own. The downpour made it hard to tell, but I could have sworn she mouthed something as she laid eyes upon Gan. I highly doubted it was anything kind.

Benny had made his way back to Sheila’s side, not that she needed any help. She continued to maintain a defensive position, but I couldn’t blame her. For all she knew, she was still surrounded by enemies. Considering Gan’s unpredictability, I considered that a smart move, although it was surprising that her small force hadn’t attempted to take Sheila down yet. Maybe they didn’t know she was the Icon, albeit I highly doubted that. They couldn’t have missed the light show a scant few minutes earlier.

Two of Remington’s men came to his aid, lifting him to his feet. One of them turned to the rest. “Stand down.”

“Leave this place now,” Gan commanded, her tone eerily calm - the authority in it unmistakable.

Still supporting their leader, Remington’s men sheathed their weapons and slowly melted away into the shadows. Just before leaving, though, Remington managed to turn back to us. His eyes locked with mine, their meaning clear: he wasn’t finished with us. Still, he was finished for now. I’d take what I could get.

That left just one little problem.

Gan stood in place for a few minutes longer, no doubt extending her senses to make sure the others were doing as they were told. I used the momentary calm to refocus on her. She was dressed similarly to her troops, albeit her outfit seemed of much finer quality. Big surprise there. The only oddity was the yellow
Spongebob
backpack that hung from her back. Oh yeah, I had definitely lost my fucking mind.

At last, she turned to one of her people and nodded. He stepped forward and I realized I vaguely recognized him. Monkhbat, or something like that.

“Follow them. Once you are sure they have complied, you are to track down the Magi. Kill any you find.”

Monkhbat gave a deep bow then took off into the darkness. The others followed him, slipping away into the night with a disturbing amount of stealth.

I finally got back to my feet, keeping one hand over the wound in my shoulder. Unfortunately, it was a pointless effort as I was bleeding out from both sides, the stake having punched clear through me. Goddamn, it hurt, and it was probably going to continue doing so for hours to come thanks to the silver.

I gasped at the pain, and Gan turned to face me, a solemn look upon her face.

“My apologies, beloved.”

Huh? She caught me by surprise with that one, so much so that I ignored the
beloved
comment for the moment.

“Why?”

“For robbing you of your impending victory.” Was she watching a different fight than the one I was in? “Sadly, when I saw the wizard, my impulsiveness got the better of me. I did not think of anything, save repaying him for the embarrassment he caused me in days past.”

Gan had been present when Decker had first made his move against me. Needless to say, he’d majorly pissed her off. The dude had a talent for doing so, although - I noted - he wouldn’t be using it any longer.

I turned to where he laid, a look of surprise still upon his now ashen face. Water pooled in his open eyes and mouth. It was a bad way to go, but the guy had been a serious asshole. I wouldn’t be losing any sleep over his death anytime soon.

Still trying to wrap my brain around both her apology and assumption that I was about to win anything other than a one-way trip to the Draculas in chains, I numbly replied, “That’s all right, Gan. Um, thank you for the assist and for saving my friends.”

I was treading carefully. For all I knew, Gan was seconds away from launching herself at Sheila. If that happened, all my efforts to save her might still be for naught. I couldn’t allow that. I dropped my eyes to the ground and spied Sally’s discarded gun. If Gan decided she was going to tangle with us, my best bet would be a little fifty-caliber dissuasion.

“Yes,” Gan replied, stepping toward Sheila, who stood with her sword at the ready. “I remembered what you told me from before about your friendship with the human.” She indicated Ed. “I still find it a curious custom, but I shall respect your wishes.”

“I’m sure Ed appreciates that,” I replied, watching her walk toward the group. As she stepped away, I slowly bent and grabbed the weapon. Hopefully the safety was off...oh, who was I kidding? It was Sally’s gun. I doubted it even had a safety.

I stood up, the heavy gun in my right hand, and followed after Gan. If she tried anything I’d, well...probably miss badly. I was a suck shot, but it was better than nothing. I was still too tapped out to fight, especially a three-century old hellion.

Sheila stood her ground, no fear evident on her face despite everything that had happened. As the little Spongebob-toting demon approached, though, her silver-colored eyes widened in recognition.

“Becky?”

* * *

Oh yeah, I had almost forgotten they’d briefly met. In a lame attempt to cover the fact that she and Decker had just barely escaped a nasty death, I had told her Gan was my niece. It was one of the poorer lies of my life, and I was still surprised that at the time I hadn’t immediately been called on it.

Gan stopped about ten feet from where Sheila stood, Benny standing behind her being...well, kinda useless.

I raised the gun and pointed it at Gan’s back. If she so much as twitched the wrong way...

Then she did the thing I least expected. She put her hands together in front of her and bowed. Okay, did I miss something? Was it possible she didn’t know that the person standing before her was the legendary bane of all vampire kind?

“It is an honor to meet you, Shining One. Your arrival has been foretold.” So much for that theory. Gan was apparently well aware of who she was in the presence of. What the hell was she doing, then?

“Am I missing something here?” Sally asked, stepping forward.

Gan glanced back and smiled at me over the huge hand cannon. “I see you still keep company with the whore, Dr. Death. I would have thought you would have grown tired of her.”

Even in the middle of the storm, I saw Sally’s fangs extend. Oh crap.

“All right,” I said, stepping forward, lowering the gun in the process. “Let’s all calm down.”

“Dr. Death?” Sheila asked.

“Heh, it’s kind of a nickname...long story.”

“Trust me, there’s a good deal of irony involved,” Sally added.

Sheila looked utterly perplexed, probably for a combination of reasons. “Who is this?”

Gan let out a giggle. It made her sound much younger than she really was. Bowing again, she replied, “I am Gansetseg, Shadow Mistress of Asia and heir to the throne of the great Khans.”

“Um...nice to meet you, Gansetseg,” Sheila replied, sounding about as confused as I felt. She turned to me. “She’s not your niece, is she?”

“Heh, sorry about that. It was the best I could come up with at the time. She’s actually...”

“I am his betrothed,” Gan interrupted.

“What?”

“No she’s not!” I shouted.

“Of course I am,” Gan replied as if it were written in stone. “We are destined to be together.”

“Like them a little young, don’t you?” Sheila asked, causing Sally to chuckle. Bitch!

“It’s not like that. For starters, Gan is three hundred years old.”

“Three hundred and twenty six to be exact, beloved.”

“Stop calling me that.” Jesus Christ! As if this whole thing wasn’t difficult enough.

“You cannot escape your destiny.”

“Watch me.”

“You’re a vampire too?” Sheila asked. She was still holding her sword, but appeared slightly more relaxed.

“Of course, Shining One.”

“Then why...”

“Why what?”

“Why aren’t you busy trying to tear her a new asshole?” Sally finished for her, as usual doing the exact opposite of diffusing the situation.

“Uh, yeah...something like that.” Sheila said as she gave Sally a sideways glance. Oh, I was so fucked. Next time I really need to mount a rescue mission alone.

“Is it not obvious?” Gan replied.

“Not really.”

“That is also Dr. Death’s destiny. It is the fate of my beloved to kill you.”

* * *

“Heh, she doesn’t mean that,” I quickly added.

“Of course I do. The prophesies are quite specific, up to a point. My father insisted I study them intimately.”