Holly Hearts Headlines (Holly Hearts Hollywood Book 2) (13 page)

“Of course I wouldn’t,” I replied. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t have other friends. This friend, by the way, you introduced me to and told me to help.”

“You just don’t understand!” she wailed and then she HUNG
UP.

I mean, I can understand what it is like to feel left out. I’ve gone through that a lot. When you have a group of three friends (like the group I had back home with Meredith and Amanda) it is easy for one person to get left out occasionally. It sucks when it feels like your friends don’t like you as much as you hoped. So I guess I can understand why Serena feels insecure, but I just didn’t realize that behind her visage of extreme self-confidence there lay a normal, teenage girl.

Serena is having a party to celebrate her new album tomorrow. If she hasn’t uninvited me yet, I’ll have to make it up to her tomorrow and apologize.

April 18
^th
, 12:00pm—Home

It’s Bernadette’s weekend to watch the egg and she will not answer her phone. Like seriously, who does this girl think she is? Oh, she just texted me.

BERNADETTE: Whoever this is stop harassing me.

ME: It is Holly, from your sex education class. You’re supposed to have the egg this weekend, remember?

BERNADETTE: I can’t take it; I’m going to Bermuda for a couple of days.

ME: Take it with you to Bermuda, it is your turn.

BERNADETTE: No way, are you out of your mind? I’m not going to be some weirdo on vacation with an egg.

ME: Well, I’m going to an album release party at Web Nightclub tonight and I don’t want to be the weirdo with an egg either.

BERNADETTE: Puh-lease. Like
you’re
going to a release party.

ME: I am!

BERNADETTE: Whatever, I’ll Snapchat you some sunbathing pics from Bermuda!

So I guess I have to take the egg to Serena’s party. This is just getting out of hand. How is the teacher supposed to know that I took it with me anyway? I could just lie.

Later, 12:05pm—Home

I hate lying. It makes me feel gross and icky. Just the thought of lying to a teacher like this about a project made me feel like the scum of the Earth. I don’t think I can do it. I think I’ll have to bring the egg to this party or else I’ll be consumed by guilt.

Later, 3:15pm—Outer Beauty Salon

I constructed a very safe home for the egg made of bubble wrap so I could put it in my purse and not have to worry about it. I mean, it is safe in there within reason. I couldn’t swing my bag at an attacker or anything because the impact would surely shatter the egg, but it can handle day-to-day activities.

I’m hoping that Serena will forgive me tonight. She still hasn’t talked to me since our argument, but I figured the best way to show her that I’m sorry is to go to her party and be super supportive of her. I went to Gucci after lunch and splurged on this amazing floor length, black silk gown with a python bodice. I don’t know what Gucci’s return policy is, but maybe I’ll be able to take it back before my mom looks at the bank statement. But hey, I make good money from the album; I deserve a five thousand dollar dress now and then.

Now I’m at Wendell’s because my hair seriously needs some love and attention. He has my hair dripping in chemicals and wrapped up in foil while one of his cronies paints my fingernails metallic silver. I’m going to look like a girl that shouldn’t be messed with, that’s for sure.

Oh my God. Lacey just came in.

Later, 3:20pm—Ladies’ Room at Outer Beauty Salon

Writing with wet fingernails is very difficult. I’m probably going to end up smearing polish on the page. I immediately retreated at the sight of Lacey’s blond head (which, by the way, I noticed has some pretty dark roots these days. She’s letting herself go) and I startled the salon attendants pretty badly. The people who work here wear all black, are desperately thin, and seem really glum. You can’t move too quickly or you’ll stimulate them too much and maybe give them a small heart attack.

I remember that brief time that Lacey and I were actually friends. It was kind of nice. I mean yeah, it was a really weird friendship, but she was supportive of me, and I know that she would’ve had my back no matter what. And I repaid her by stealing her boyfriend.

I’m the worst feminist of all time.

Later, 4:00pm—Car Ride Home

Okay, I’m probably not like the
worst
feminist ever, but definitely a bad example of what it should look like.

Later, 6:00pm—Home

I’m afraid to face Serena, and it isn’t just because of the issue with Cora the other night. I think I understand why Serena was so mad about that, and it isn’t because I hung out with someone else. It was probably because all of the stupid stuff I’ve done to her just finally added up, and the Cora thing was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

The truth is that I’ve been a shitty-ass friend and I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I’m constantly taking advantage of her. I know that if I call her up she will listen to me and let me ramble on about my problems. I barely ask her what is going on with her life, even though I have repeatedly made it a goal of mine to fix that bad habit. Now she isn’t here to put on my fake eyelashes for me, and it is all my fault. I don’t deserve this Gucci dress, a hot boyfriend, or awesome female friends.

I should just crawl into a trashcan where I belong.

Later, 8:45pm—The Web Nightclub

Serena must have excellent peripheral vision, because she hasn’t looked at me all night, and she moves away if I get within five feet of her. She looks fantastic. I wish I could tell her. She’s wearing a floor length pink dress that’s just covered in glitter from head to toe. Her curves look amazing and she dyed her hair pink to match her dress. Although, now that I think about it, she could’ve just been wearing a wig, like Nicki Minaj.

Earlier, I was at the bar getting a drink (virgin, unfortunately, just like me) when a snide voice behind me said, “You’re not going to dump that on me, are you?”

I turned around, the paper umbrella in my drink swung with the motion, and there was Lacey. She was wearing some kind of Alexander McQueen concoction with butterflies all over and lace-up gladiator heels, which was very 2003 of her. She was looking thinner than normal and she had dark circles under her eyes.

“I wasn’t planning on it,” I said, loudly, as the DJ was blasting Serena’s new music over the sound system. “Are you okay?”

Lacey paused for a moment before she let out a loud, awkward laugh. “No, Holly. I’m not okay, can’t you tell? You know I’m not okay, so why are you even asking?”

“I’m worried about you,” I said, realizing then that it was true. I hadn’t really thought about Lacey or her mental health status until I saw her. It only took one look at her to realize that she was slowly unraveling right in front of me. “This is all my fault,” I mumbled.

Lacey nodded her head. “Yes, I would agree with you. Look, could you do me a favor and just leave me alone? If we talk any longer I’m just going to get frustrated, and the last thing I need is another story about me in the news and how I’m ‘emotionally unstable.’” With that, Lacey pushed past me and ordered something that was definitely
not
a virgin.

So now, I’m just sitting in a VIP booth, drinking essentially fruit juice with an umbrella, because no one at this party wants to talk to me. Serena’s ignoring me, Lacey told me to jump off a cliff, and Grayson
can’t
talk to me.

Oh, some VIP’s just arrived, and I’m being kicked out of the booth.

Later, 10:00pm—Ladies’ Room at Web Nightclub

I’m still at the party even though I want to crawl underneath a rock and die because I’m hoping that Serena will eventually take pity on me and talk to me. I’ve just been lurking in a corner all night and have drunk like, eight virgin strawberry daiquiris. Now I’m in the bathroom, AGAIN, because it turns out that if you drink eight strawberry daiquiris, alcoholic or not, you need to pee all the damn time.

At this moment, my life feels like that point in the movies where the heroine goes through major growth. I’m like Anne Hathaway in
The Devil Wears Prada
when she realizes that all her friends hate who she’s changed into, and she has to look deep into her heart and find herself again.

Except I didn’t like who I was before all of this. Where does that leave me?

Someone just came in. Someone wearing all pink. I think its Serena.

April 19
^th
, 12:15pm—Home

I have had to do a lot of scary things these last few months in Los Angeles, but none of them were as scary as talking to Serena last night. It is probably because I was really nervous about whether or not she’d forgive me. She’s been such a good friend to me, and I’ve been so horrible to her, that to lose her as a friend would break my heart. But I knew it was something I had to do, no matter how terrifying it was.

When I opened the door to the bathroom stall last night I saw Serena standing at the bathroom mirror fixing her smeared eyeliner. She hadn’t seen me yet, so she hadn’t bolted. I got up slowly and ran over to the bathroom door and locked it shut. Serena turned toward me quickly and her mouth fell open slightly.

“I didn’t see you there,” she said. It was the first time I’ve heard her voice in forever and it made me a little sad.

“Can we please talk? You can’t ignore me forever.”

Serena crossed her arms over her chest. “Talk? Wouldn’t you rather talk to Cora, your new best friend?”

“Look, I know why you’re really upset about Cora,” I said.

“Oh, really?” Serena said sarcastically. “And why is that?”

“It’s because I haven’t been a good friend to you for a while. I make everything about me all the time, and you probably felt like Cora was the final straw. I know that I seem to wear blinders and can only see my own problems, but I promise I’ll work hard to be a better friend to you.”

Serena seemed to soften for a minute, but then she straightened her back and looked at me firmly. “I’ve really loved having you around, Holly. I love being your friend,” she said.

I brightened. “You do?”

She nodded. “Of course I do. You’re the most genuine person that I know. But, sometimes I need you to pay attention to me too, you know? Ask me about what’s going on with me or let me call you up and vent about my problems for a few minutes. Friendship is a two way street.”

I immediately had flashbacks to all the times Serena kindly let me blabber on about my issues, wants, and concerns without ever once complaining. She was totally right. Friendship is a two way street, and I need to get better at staying in my lane.

“Please forgive me, Serena,” I said. “I promise I’ll work super hard at being the best friend in the universe.”

She laughed, and that was when I knew that everything was going to be okay. Serena threw her arm around my shoulder as we left the bathroom and the rest of the party was amazing.

We were up until three in the morning dancing and laughing. By the end of the night, I could barely talk. I had lost my voice from shouting over the throbbing of the bass, but it was totally worth it. I’m really lucky to have a friend like Serena. Having supportive female friends is so important, probably more important than a boyfriend, really. I have to make sure that I don’t do anything to screw this friendship up ever again.

Later, 12:30pm—Home

If I was Anne Hathaway yesterday then I am that kid from
Home Alone
today. When I went out into the kitchen I expected to see Mom making omelets, Ivy watching
America’s Next Top Model
on her laptop, and Grandpa to be sitting with his ear next to the radio. Grandpa listens to Rush Limbaugh in the morning, much to my mother’s and my distaste, and he can’t hear Rush’s bigoted shouting very well with his hearing aids so he has to literally put the radio against his ear.

But when I went out there, it was completely empty. Everyone was gone. For a moment, I overreacted like I usually do. Did aliens finally make contact and take my family back to their home planet? Maybe they were part of the witness protection program and Ivy blew her cover, so the feds packed them up and moved them to Nebraska to lie low. Perhaps they went to Paris for Christmas but forgot to wake me up.

Then I remembered that it was April, so it definitely wasn’t Christmas, and I noticed a note Mom had left for me on the kitchen counter.

Holly,

We went to the County Fair for the day. We didn’t want to wake you up, since you had gotten home really late last night. I figured you needed the sleep. We will see you later tonight.

XOXO Mom

Can you believe that? They went to the fair without me. Who does that to their own child? Life is totally unfair.

Later, 1:00pm—Home

This day can’t get any worse. To whoever is pulling the strings out there, whether it’s God, karma, or some man in a monkey suit would you please start taking it easy on me? Because I don’t know how much more I can handle.

After getting the note from my mom, I decided I should call Meredith. I knew I needed to be a better friend and see how she was doing, since the last time we talked I dominated the conversation. I can’t make the same mistake with my other friends as I made with Serena.