Holly Madison (Sins of the Father, 2) (14 page)

My chest feels like there’s an elephant sitting on it.  Knowing what my father did to the Holts and this beautifully tortured man kills me.

“Enough!” Jake bellows.  “You seriously believe that it’s her fault, don’t you, man?  How can you think that way?  She was nine years old when it happened and her father was the one behind the wheel.”

“Exactly, bro. 
Her
father was behind the wheel of the car that killed our mother, and here you all are, one big happy family!  Shit’s fucked, man.”

I start to feel lightheaded.  I’m seconds from passing out when Emma moves in to hold me up and guide me to a stool.  She’s five months pregnant and still strong as an ox.  If it weren’t for her just now, I would have face-planted on the floor.

“Are you high?” Braden inquires, and Shawna stifles a giggle.

“Yeah, you’re high,” Olivia notes, shaking her head.  “You’ve been sober for ten years, Tristan!  Why?”

“Fuck off, all of you!”

Jake moves in.  So does Braden, and the whole bar goes silent.  Tristan peels Shawna off of him and holds his arms out.

 “You really wanna do that?” Jake tempts, bucking up to Tristan in an aggressive manner.

“Enough!”  That was Jim.  All eyes move to the man who heads the family.  “Get home.  Get sober.  We’ll discuss this later.  I’ll make sure that you know about family business when you can handle it.”

“Tristan, let me drive you home, babe,” Emma starts only to get cut off.

“I don’t need you to drive me home.  I can make it perfectly fine on my own.  I haven’t had a drop of alcohol.”  He sniffs again.  “I can take care of myself.”

She leans toward Tristan. “Don’t be a fool.  If you aren’t drunk, you’re clearly under the influence of something else, and I would feel more comfortable if you would let me drop you off.  It’ll take me five minutes and I highly advise that you NOT get a pregnant woman all worked up.  It’s not good for the baby.”

I know she is referring to herself, but I can’t help how my heart sinks at her words. 

Tristan’s eyes slice to me and slide down to my belly.  The pain in his eyes evident before it quickly disappears.  He nods his head in agreement, brushes Shawna off, who shrugs her shoulders and is off to find her next conquest of the night.  Emma removes her apron and kisses Braden on the lips before he hands her the keys to her car.  As she gives me a hug, a look of sadness washes over her face.

Tristan pulls her into his arm and uses her as a crutch as they walk out the back door.  I can feel their stares on me. Everyone in the bar has me in their sights.  We’ll be the talk of the town now.  Luckily, they don’t know the half of it.

When Emma is back, Jim calls, “Family meeting.”

“Umm, I can go,” I mumble.

“I said family meeting.  You are part of this family now.  Especially when you’re housing my future grandbaby,” Jim says to me. 

I look around and everyone was gives me their nods of approval.

“As you all know, we’ve taken on some new help.  Claire here has given her notice at her previous employment and will be serving and trying her hand at the bar here starting next week.  I’m cutting back Emma’s hours so that she can get some more rest.  The baby will be here in a few months and she has a lot of preparing to do.”

“I don’t need to reduce my hours.  I’ve always been fine with my schedule,” Emma declares.

“You work too much as it is, darlin’.  With Claire on board and Juice being as reliable as he is, things will work out more smoothly.  You’re gonna need less time on your feet.”

“I like my schedule.  Plus, the baby isn’t due for another few months,” she proclaims.

Jim points to Emma, wagging his finger, and orders, “Braden, see to that.” 

Emma’s mouth goes tight.  Braden snickers.  Olivia whistles.  Jake looks at the ceiling.  Claire shifts in her chair.

“Jake, I know you’re busy, son, but during this time, it would be much appreciated if you could take on anything you can.  Even if that means a shift or two a week.  As you can see, Tristan isn’t going to be much help to us right now.”

“You got it, Pop.”

“And, Holly.  Any help that you can offer will be well received.”

“I would love to help out any way I can,” I affirm, because I truly would.  This family has been so supportive and amazing to me over the past few weeks. 

Jim nods and says, “Well then, this meeting is adjourned.”

I watch them all while they carry on with their lives as I imagine they always do after a family meeting.  Braden smooths over a very pissed-off-looking Emma while clearly trying to smother a laugh, Olivia is grinning at me, Juice is joking around with a few of the regulars, and Jake is showering Claire with attention. 

I place a hand over my belly to give it a little rub.  Even though everything seems shitty right now, at least I know that my baby is going to be a part of a wonderful family.

I know that this is a bad idea.  God, I just know it.  Five minutes ago, I turned my car around on Main Street and headed straight for the gym.  I have to talk to Tristan.  I have to get through to him.  He can’t hate me forever.  I’m going to have his baby, and if he can’t forgive me, then he will at least want to be a part of his child’s life.  He has to, right?

Against my better judgment, I chose to give him a couple of hours and then harass him at his apartment, because clearly, after that shit show at the bar a little while ago, he wants to see me.

I put the car in park, remove the keys from the ignition, and climb out.  The gym door is locked, so I make my way to the back of the building and slowly hike up the stairs that lead directly to the apartment.  I turn the knob, hoping that it is unlocked and completely shocked to find that it is.  I push the door open and quietly close it behind me. 

I can make out music playing from deeper within the apartment.  I reach the living room, and on the coffee table is all the evidence I need that Tristan was indeed high at the bar.  In the middle of the table sits a large, round mirror with eight huge lines of cocaine, a razor, and a baggy containing more white powder.  My chest tightens and my hand finds my belly.  An intense pain grips my soul.  It is loss for the man I love and have single-handedly destroyed.  It is fear that this baby will grow up without a father.  It is pain that Tristan may never get to know the life that is growing inside me, the one I already feel a tremendous adoration for. 

There is a loud thump and muffled sounds coming from his bedroom.  My heart is beating so rapidly that, if I don’t get control of it, I might pass out.   My feet move on their own without my guidance.  My brain is screaming at me to turn around and run.  Don’t go back there, and yet my damn feet have a mind of their own. 

The door is ajar, so I push it open the rest of the way, and what I see will forever be etched in my brain.  I can’t tear my eyes from the scene that is unfolding in front of me.  I will never be able to move past this very moment. 

Tristan has just ruined me forever. 

He is bent over another woman from behind while he yanks her head back in what looks to be a painful angle as he thrusts into her.

“Faster,” the woman hisses. 

Tristan moans my name as he pumps faster.

My body jerks once the realization hits me that he just called her Holly.  I would rather him punch me in the face.  That was my undoing. 

“Oh my God!” I wail.  “Oh my God!”  I clutch my belly even tighter as my back hits the wall.

The woman screeches something unintelligible and jumps out of bed when Tristan rounds it and stumbles toward me.  I slide across the wall, trying to get to the door as quickly as I can.   He speaks but I can’t understand anything other than my name, which continues to play from his lips.  My body is shaking and the tears won’t stop.  When I reach the door, I run until I notice that the girl I caught him fucking is now kneeling at the coffee table, still naked with a small straw to her nose, snorting one of the lines of coke.

I feel as though I am possessed.  Nothing makes sense as a strong wave of disgust rolls over me.  Chances are that, if I look into a mirror at this very moment, I would guess that I have sprouted horns.  I walk to the table, lift it from one side, and in a Hulk-type swoop, flip it.  Cocaine and the rest of the contents fly in every which direction.

The naked chick comes at me with her arms out, shouting, “Bitch!” 

My self-defense training kicks in when I grab her by her stringy hair and punch her in the face.  Her hands reach up to cup her nose as blood seeps through her fingers.  I feel arms around my waist and my arms start flailing.  I know its Tristan.  I can smell him mixed with sex.  It’s the dirtiest scent.  The bile begins its march up my throat. 

“Get off of me!” I scream.  “Get the fuck off of me!”  I can’t have him touching me.  It’s wrong.  So completely fucking wrong.  I don’t want him anywhere near me or my baby. 

“Let her go, man,” I hear a male voice demand, but I don’t look. 

I can’t process all of this right now.  It’s just too much.  I am released only to find myself embraced in Emma’s arms.  I collapse, clinging to her like she is my last hope.  I am inconsolable.  Ruined.

Behind me, I hear Braden and Tristan arguing but can’t make out what they are saying.  “I have to get out of here,” I cry. 

Emma’s hand draws lazy circles on my back. “I know.  Come on,” she soothes, lifting me off the floor and throwing her arm around my shoulders in a protective manner.

“Holly?  I’m so sorry!  Fuck, I’m so sorry!  I didn’t know what I was doing.  I’ve been so lost lately and I fucked up.  Please—“

“No.”  The word leaves my mouth without regret.  I straighten my back, placing my hands protectively over my belly.  “You didn’t
just
fuck up Tristan,” I respond as I turn to face him.  “You tortured me and left me for dead.  Killing me would have been more humane than making me live with the memory of seeing you with that
woman
,” I spit, jabbing a finger towards the dirty tramp, who is still cupping her face, “and hearing you call her
my
name.” 

Emma’s gasp rings through the air.

Tristan starts to move only for Braden to stop him with an arm to the gut, holding him back. 

“Don’t, man.  You’re my brother, but that won’t stop me from kicking your ass right now.”

Tristan’s eyes are rimmed with red, his hair in disarray.  I notice now that, at some point during this whole debacle, he put a pair of running pants on.  He stares at me in horror as his eyes travel down to where my hands are protectively placed. 

“No.  Don’t you dare look at my baby. 
My baby!
  You don’t get to look upset or concerned over all of this.  Fuck you!” 

Emma whimpers, clearly in agony while having a front-row seat to the single most painful moment of my life.

A pain radiates from my stomach and shoots to my lower back, catching me off guard, causing me to grip tighter and bend over to alleviate it.  Emma’s arms tighten around me as she guides me to the door.  Once the pain subsides, I turn back to see Tristan sitting on the couch with his head in his hands.  Good.  Let him feel even a hint of what I feel right now.  It still won’t be enough, but it’s something.