Home for Christmas (15 page)

“Really?” he questioned again, to
which she tightly clamped her lips together. And then he added, “Truly? You’ve
always sat in this exact seat … every time?” he asked in seeming disbelief.

She nodded without looking at him
until he began craning his neck to examine the back edge of the pew.

“What are you doing?” she whispered
as she once again glanced around to fellow parishioners to ascertain if they
were attracting too much attention.

“Trying to see if your name is on
the back of this pew, you know, like they do in historic churches,” he
whispered conspiratorially.

Pressing her lips together she said,
“I’m sure you already know there aren’t any names on the pews.”

Smiling smugly while crossing his
arms across his chest, Austin couldn’t resist, “Ever feel like you’re in a bit
of a rut?”

“No,” she stammered defensively.
“It’s called, ‘
tradition
’ and I happened to be very fond it.”

Austin thought about that a minute
as they waited for the service to begin, listening to the prelude and decided
to quit teasing her for the moment. But he was curious.

“If it’s tradition that you always
sit in this pew, how come I’ve not seen you sitting here before?”

Surprised, Savannah began to tell
him that she always attended the later service when an elderly gentleman
shuffled toward Austin, hand extended, sporting a wide and warm smile that
illuminated his kindly face.

Savannah smiled politely at him as
he approached, although she didn’t recognize him.

“I was wondering what you were
going to do when this pretty lady here took your normal seat,” he chuckled,
patting Austin on the back. “But when you sat down next to her, I laughed to
Mildred, she’s my wife,” he explained for Savannah’s benefit, “I said to her,
he’s doing exactly what I would have done. Then she poked me in the ribs,” he
added in an aside. He laughed at his own joke as he straightened, preparing to
return to his wife before saying more seriously, “Praying for you, son. I know
you’ve a big week ahead of you.”

Savannah was astonished as she
watched the kindly man return to his seat. And then something he said caught
her attention. She raised her eyebrow at Austin as he studiously tried to
ignore her.

“
Your
seat?” she whispered,
and then with more emphasis, “Your
traditional
seat?”

His only answer was a guilty smile.

And just as one of the pastors
stepped up to the pulpit, Savannah learned over to whisper, “I never knew you
even went to church, especially here.”

“I didn’t know you did either,” he
responded as the congregation was invited to stand.

The service was beautiful and
meaningful. The orchestrated music combined with the choir was as good as
anything they would hear this season at the symphony’s Benaroya Hall or any of
the various theaters and auditoriums around the city. From the lighting of the
first Advent candle to the pastor’s memorable sermon and scripture readings, it
was food that would sustain their souls, each of which were grappling with
their individual challenges.       

Austin and Savannah patiently
waited their turn as a sea of parishioners flooded the aisles following the
Doxology and fed into the narthex of the church. Savannah nodded at a few
familiar faces while Austin shook hands with quite a few men.

“You seem to know a lot of people
here,” she observed softly as they filed out of the sanctuary.

“I’ve attended here since
University,” he said. “And as often as I can, I attend a men’s Bible study. Now
that my schedule is crazy full, they still keep me on as an honorary member.”

Savannah was shocked that their
paths had crossed so many times and yet they’d never met prior to that fateful
Halloween night that seemed so long ago now. She reluctantly acknowledged that
the more she got to know Austin, the more she was drawn to him. The more she
recognized their mutual values, though they each expressed them very
differently, the closer she felt to him. And that was worthy of trepidation.
She had to admit that even her closest friends didn’t share those values or
even her faith or devotion to it. Robert had always put up with it, and of
course he attended a different church with his parents, but it had never been
an important part of his life.

After shaking the pastor’s hand,
Savannah opened her umbrella and braced herself against the early morning
driving wind and rain as they filtered out onto the sidewalk in front of the
church. Austin shoved his hands deep into the pocket of his raincoat, enduring
the drenching downpour as they waited for others to dart out into the elements.
Finally, he turned to Savannah.

“It was great to attend church with
you,” he said sincerely.

“Thanks,” she replied simply. “It
was really nice,” she said, realizing how much more she had enjoyed the service
with him than she would have sitting alone. Sharing service with him had
lessoned the expected emptiness of her Christmas without her family.

Unsure of how to broach the subject
of last night and the erroneous information Robert had given him regarding
their relationship, Savannah began to stammer an unintelligible explanation
when Austin interrupted her.

“I’ve got a huge couple of weeks
ahead of me. I doubt you’ll see me until the Open House scheduled for the 14
^th
.
I’m out of town with media bookings and such. Courtney will be with me some of
the time. If you need to get in touch, Lois will always know where I am. In the
meantime, make use of the house. Lois told me you had inquired about a couple
of charity functions?” he asked trying to recall the details.

“Yes,” she said, instantly adopting
his more business-like tone, relieved to change the subject. “I have always
hosted a Christmas tea with girls in the foster care system and also a
Christmas cookie baking day with other underprivileged kids from the church. I
was hoping you would be open to using … your house.”

“Absolutely. Anything you need.
Just keep Lois informed of the dates so they can go on my master calendar.”

Promising that she would, Savannah
smiled as he gave her a parting wave and dashed across the sidewalk, trying to
dodge the heavy downpour as his driver pulled up at the curb, waiting to take
him directly to SeaTac airport. She waved again as he glanced out the cab
window as it quickly pulled out into the 45
^th
Street traffic.

Standing alone under her umbrella
with only a few straggling parishioners waiting to be picked up, Savannah
couldn’t help wishing things had been different between them. It could never
have been, but it bothered her tremendously that he would think she’d been less
than honest with him.

And as the rain cascaded down the
sides of her umbrella, Savannah realized that she had some unfinished business
to conduct with Robert Winslow.

After treating herself to a Pumpkin
Spice Latte
and
a molasses cookie at the University Village Starbucks,
Savannah meandered down the lushly decorated sidewalks of one of her favorite
outdoor malls. The rain, having let up for the moment, allowed her to window
shop to her heart’s content, gleaning inspiration from every window and
display.  

Soon, however, the famous Seattle
rain made its comeback and forced Savannah to quickly complete her purchases at
the irresistible Confectionary candy store and head over to Sur La Table to
purchase a whole array of icing pastes in colors she was sure would delight the
children on cookie baking day as well as some edible gold leaf she needed to
decorate the giant gingerbread house she planned to make prior to the Open
House.

Leaving the store with multiple,
heavy bags, she made a dash for her car; stunned when her boot slipped and
landed in a rather deep mud puddle, splattering its remnants up the legs of her
expensive trousers and the hem of her raincoat. Examining the damage, she
happened to see a little girl giggling and pointing at her. Savannah could
resist, catching the little girl’s eye, and winking. The tiny tot put her hand
over her mouth, now shy over the attention, and tugged at her mother’s coat.
Savannah grimaced after inspecting the damage again but thanks to the child’s
enjoyment over her predicament, she was able to put it all in perspective.

Having to return to Courtney’s
condo to change clothes was something Savannah wasn’t looking forward to. In
fact, she dreaded it. Her roommate hadn’t come home last night and she was
pretty sure she wasn’t there when she left early for church. It wasn’t any of
her business, but it made the situation, after last night, a bit awkward.

Exiting the elevator on Courtney’s
floor and approaching the door to her condo, Savannah paused outside, praying
her friend wouldn’t be there. She slipped her key into the lock as quietly as
possible, pleased that so far, she had hardly made a detectable sound. Slowly
opening the door and peering into the living room, Savannah was taken back when
she spotted not only her roommate, but a male companion; sitting together
wrapped in each other’s arms on the sectional, starring into the gas fireplace,
their heads touching.

Embarrassed, Savannah tried to
close the door as silently and quickly as possible. Her face blushing pink over
getting caught interrupting Courtney and her guy friend, whoever that might be.
It would have worked beautifully if Savannah hadn’t accidently dropped one of
her bags in the attempt. Glancing toward the couple with a ready apology, her
response froze as the couple jumped apart with apparent guilt after seeing her
awkward entry. The one face, she’d expected; the other was quite a shock.

The silence stretched until it was
so thin, it completely filled the entire space, absorbing the very air they
breathed. Savannah stood dumbfounded, starring, until Courtney jumped off the
sofa and headed into the kitchen. Robert refused to make eye contact. Finally
stumbling to his feet, he made an excuse she couldn’t quite make out, except
for three words … “waiting for you” with an addendum, “Where were you all day?”
to which neither of them expected an answer.

Savannah’s eyes narrowed on the man
who had been her companion at every major event during those awkward tween and
teenage years. Someone she’d thought she’d known so well. Someone, clearly, she
didn’t know at all. Yet strangely, instead of being furious over a supposed
betrayal, she felt only emptiness … and perhaps a certain measure of relief
that puzzling pieces of information were now beginning to fit together and make
sense.  

Robert continued to gather his
things; coat, scarf … shoes; murmuring things Savannah really didn’t care to
hear.

“I, uh … I have something I need to
do now, so I’ll just … um … catch you later.”

“No, you won’t,” Savannah said,
finally coming alive as the shock began to ebb. Moving to retrieve the errant
bag she dropped and set the rest of the cumbersome bags on the reclaimed
industrial modern bench in the entry, she took a moment to carefully consider
her words. “You’ll not catch me …
later
,” she finally said, “You’ll
catch me now or not at all.”

“Look, Savannah,” Robert sighed,
running his fingers through his long, wavy hair. “This really isn’t a good
time.”

“I disagree,” she interrupted.
“It’s a perfect time.”

“You don’t understand,” he said,
almost angrily. “I need some time to sort some things out.”

She held her breath instead of
blurting out something that would only make the situation worse.  Counting
to ten, she finally exhaled. “Okay,” she finally agreed. “I get that. I do too,
actually. And I have a feeling I know someone else who does as well,” she said
looking toward the kitchen. “But you and I are going to have a conversation
today, understand?”

He shrugged, noncommittally.

“Promise,” she implored.

“I’ll try,” he finally agreed.

Savannah hung up her coat in the
hall closet when she heard Courtney’s bedroom door click shut. It was painfully
obvious what had been going on and oh so awkward that she’d interrupted. It was
a horrible inconvenience, her living here. Not so much for herself, but for
Courtney. She hated the imposition she caused; whether or not it had been her
initial idea.

Strangely, the shock of what she
witnessed wasn’t giving way to an anger she assumed most would experience given
the situation. What she really felt … was embarrassment and frustration that
she hadn’t seem this coming, that she hadn’t picked up on clues that in
hindsight, were horribly obvious.

She felt a little used, a whole lot
manipulated, but also, she felt loss as well. Just another one to add to the
growing pile of events in her life. She’d thought she was so close to both of
them. Seeing Robert last night had left it clear in her mind she didn’t feel
any lingering romantic attachment to him. But she’d expected more from him and
from Courtney. She was disappointed that her relationship with each hadn’t
meant more to them, that either of them hadn’t come to her to explain a
situation that had clearly been going on for awhile.    

Changing her clothes into a
comfortable pair of jeans and a roomy, lusciously soft hand knit sweater,
Savannah padded out to the kitchen to see if Courtney had emerged from her room
yet. She hated this more than she could ever say.

One thing she knew about her
friend, however, was her incredible stubbornness. She would lock herself away
in that room for a week if necessary to avoid an unwanted confrontation. She
never hesitated to confront … only to
be
confronted. She made it so
difficult, that most never did. And so she had lived her life, never having the
pleasure of being on the receiving end. Today, Savannah was going to give her
that pleasure.

She took the next thirty minutes,
fortified with a hot cup of peppermint tea and truly considered the events of
last night, this morning, and this afternoon. She had always been an individual
who craved … ruts. Austin hadn’t been far wrong with that friendly jibe this
morning. But she was foolish to believe that things could stay the same
indefinitely. They couldn’t. Circumstances changed, fortunes changed … and
relationships changed.

And if she was completely honest
with herself, her relationship with Robert had changed a long time ago.
Smiling, she remembered sleepovers when she and Courtney and few of their
girlfriends would sit curled up on one of their beds, gossiping and teasing
each other about the boys in their circle; which ones were cute, who would most
likely marry whom; etcetera, etcetera. And Robert had been one of the “cute”
ones; a “desirable” one. And they had all agreed he was perfect for Savannah.
And because they had all decreed that they should be together and their parents
also were close friends, it just kind of happened. Because they both were
loyalists at heart, they had stayed that way … together. Courtney, on the other
hand, had always been attracted to the bad boy types. How in the world had this
happened?

Their relationship had worked for
all the right reasons and they had stayed together for all the wrong ones. But
if they could be honest with each other, each would agree that any love they’d
ever felt for one another had always been filial rather than passionate.

Sighing, Savannah knew this issue
wouldn’t resolve itself. She hated to invade Courtney’s private space, but
there was no way she was letting this issue fester when she had so little time
left in Seattle. Knocking on her bedroom door, she listened for permission to
enter. Of course, none was given.

Taking a deep breath, she entered
Courtney’s room. It took a few minutes for her eyes to adjust to the dark, but
soon saw her friend, lying on her bed with her back toward the door. Savannah
knew good and well that she wasn’t playing “Possum,” as they liked to call it
way back when.

Turning on a lamp stationed near
the door, Savannah proceeded into the room until she came around the bed to
where Courtney was feigning sleep and plopped down next to her. Courtney’s eyes
flew open. It was then Savannah could see her tear stained face and red-rimmed
eyes. Patting her friend on the shoulder, she sat silent, waiting for Courtney
to begin. It didn’t take long.

“Do you hate me?” she asked,
stretching to retrieve the box of Kleenex sitting on her night stand and
subsequently blowing rather loudly.

She couldn’t help herself. She
should have just said, “No.” But instead she asked why she would think that. To
which another round of sobs ensued before Courtney could get control of herself
again.

“How long?” Savannah finally asked.

“Awhile,” she admitted in a
whisper. “I tried so hard not to let it happen. But one thing led to another.
It kind of accelerated once he came back to town.”

“But wait,” Savannah interrupted,
more confused than angry, “how did one thing lead to another when he hasn’t
even been in town for months and months?”

Courtney broke into another round
of sobs, unintelligibly explaining behind a wad of wet Kleenexes. Savannah
waited until they had subsided before quietly asking her to repeat the story. A
story with many explanations, unexpected out-of-town weekends and nights spent
texting ensued.

Savannah pulled up in front of the
massive Tudor style mansion the Winslow family called home. It wasn’t far from
her own home, or rather her “old” home. Walking distance, really. Their
mothers, hers and Robert’s, had served on many neighborhood committees together
as well as club and charity leagues. She hadn’t visited in months. It was
uncomfortable to be here, but Robert wouldn’t return her texts and she was
determined to have everything out in the open … tonight. She was facing so many
obstacles in the coming weeks; she didn’t need this encumbrance as well.

Knocking on the door, Savannah
grinned widely as Robert’s father answered the massive door, hand carved by an
ancestor around the turn of the century. The Winslows’ loved their family
history as much as hers had. Surprised by her appearance, he immediately
gathered her into a warm embrace, holding tightly for several seconds. Feeling
her eyes mist; she gently pulled back. It was those fatherly hugs she had
missed so much.

Dabbing her eyes, she asked if
Robert was home; to which his father, also a Robert, confirmed while calling
for his wife at the same time. Hurrying into the foyer, his mother gave her
another warm hug and coaxed her into the warm study where a roaring fire that smelled
distinctly of cedar was blazing in the hearth. Robert still hadn’t made an
appearance so his father firmly left the room in search of the son. Savannah
giggled under her breath. Sometimes it didn’t matter how old one was … to the
parents, they’d always be a child who needed guidance. How Robert would chafe
at that.

Getting caught up with Elizabeth,
Robert’s mother, was a delight. They had made several dates for lunches and
coffees … and even those committee meetings. Savannah was tapping the
particulars into her calendar app while his mother was penciling it into her
ever-present Day Timer as they heard a pair of heavy steps coming toward the
room.

Robert sauntered into the room and his
parents made a hasty exit. “Isn’t this cozy?” he said coming around the back of
the sofa to a chair nestled close to the fireplace that was a distance from
Savannah.

“It is,” she replied, deciding to
ignore the attitude and say what she needed to say as quickly as possible. “Why
didn’t you answer my texts?”

“Oh, did you text?” he questioned,
pulling out his phone, feigning surprise as, of course, they were there.

“Robert. Let’s not do this. I know
… everything. Courtney and I had a long talk …”