Home To You (21 page)

Jax might have stood beside both his uncles, but even at twelve years old, she’d known he was alone. His sister, Rocki, had survived the accident that killed their parents and was still in the hospital.

That had been the last time Kendall saw Jax. When she’d tried to speak to him, he’d looked right through her, as if she didn’t exist, didn’t matter, didn’t count. He’d been in shock. She knew that now. Back then, though, all she knew was that it hurt.

That was fourteen years ago.

Kendall could almost forgive herself for falling for David; she’d been a child then. She didn’t have that excuse now. She’d fallen head over heels in love with Jax Sullivan, the Grand Pooh-Bah of Harmony—a money-hungry, narcissistic, megalomaniac just like David.

But the Jack she knew, the Jack she’d made love to, the Jack she saw in her dreams was sweet and honest and loyal. Jack was an illusion.

She moved mechanically to the kitchen, grabbed a
water glass, and filled it. When she returned, he was lying in the same position. “I have your meds, Jax. Can you sit up?”

His eyes shot open, and he looked at her—she couldn’t tell if the pain she saw was because of his headache or because she’d caught on. In the end, it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. “Your name is on the prescription bottle.” She struggled with the childproof top and coaxed two pills into her shaking hand.

“Sweetheart, I can explain.”

“Not interested.” She handed him the water and the pills. “Just take your medicine and give me your phone.”

“Why?”

“Why the phone, or why am I not interested?”

He downed the pills and groaned.

“I’m not interested because, if you remember correctly, I’m pretty good at getting lied to. I’ve heard all the excuses before. And I need your phone because if the headache hasn’t subsided, you’re going to have to take more medicine in four hours, and last I heard, you can’t tell time—unless that was a lie too.”

“I never lied to you.”

“I’m going to set an alarm—I wouldn’t want you to accidentally OD on this stuff.”

He reached for her, but she snatched her hand away.

“Kendall, please listen to me. Sweetheart, I love you.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard that line before too. I shouldn’t have believed it then, and I’m certainly not falling for it now.” She set the prescription on the bedside table along with his water, picked up the clothes she’d laid out the night before, and went into the bathroom to change. She’d be damned if he’d ever see her naked again.

She’d tossed most of her stuff in the car last night.
Jack—make that Jax—had put his leather duffel by the door. How could she not have noticed it was Gucci? She took a quick scan of the cabin, making sure she hadn’t left anything.

There was a rap on the door, right before it was pushed open and her father walked in.

“Daddy?” She reached up and gave him a kiss. “I didn’t think you were getting back until Thursday.”

“No, we were supposed to be back on Tuesday, but our plane was delayed coming out of New York. We just got home, and I saw the smoke, so I came to check it out. What are you doing here, Kendall?”

“I just came up to see Addie for a few days.”

“Is David with you?”

“No, he’s in San Francisco. I thought I’d check on Jax before I left. He’s not feeling well.”

“Jax is here? What’s wrong with him?”

“Headache, I think. But, then, he’s a little green, so I guess it could be the flu or a virus. He doesn’t have a fever, so I just gave him his pain pills. I’m going to head home. I have a busy day, and I’m already running late.”

“You’re going to stop to see your mother, young lady, aren’t you?”

“Sure, Daddy.”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead.

“I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me too, baby girl.” He didn’t say anything else, but he didn’t need to. It was written all over his face.

She was so busted. “Bye, Jax,” she called out over her shoulder.

“Kendall, wait. Don’t go.” She heard Jax’s footfalls coming behind her. She grabbed her bag and coat on the
way out, but didn’t bother putting it on. She stepped out of the cabin and slammed the door on her past, and took the first step into her future.

The bright sunlight shone off the snow, temporarily blinding her. She didn’t register the cold cutting into her. She couldn’t feel anything; she was numb.

*

Jax heard Kendall stomping around the cabin as he tried to feel for his pants. His heart raced, shooting blinding pain through his skull with every beat. He stuffed his legs into the pants, stood, and swallowed back bile. He had to stop her. He had to.

“Bye, Jax.”

“Kendall, wait. Don’t go.” He ran down the hall, right into Teddy.

“Jax, what the hell is going on?”

He reached for the door and stepped out, and then blinding light hit him. Pain shot through his eyes and head like bullets, his knees buckled, and he went down hard, right before he puked his guts out.

Teddy laid a hand on his back as he heaved. “She’s gone, son. She’s gone.”

He was cold, cold like he could remember being only once before—the day he buried his parents.

“Come on, let’s get you inside.” Teddy helped him up, tossed Jax’s arm around his shoulder, and walked him back to the bedroom. The half-empty, economy-size box of condoms lay right next to his painkillers, and the glass of water on the bedside table. Both sides of the bed were messed up, the indentation of Kendall’s head still clear on her pillow. “Put a shirt on. I’m taking you home.”

“I am home.”

“Dammit, Jackson, I can’t leave you like this, and I can’t kill you. Grace would have my head if I did either. Now get dressed. We’re going to the lake house.”

“I can’t. I have to find her.”

“Son, in the shape you’re in, you couldn’t find your way out of a wet paper bag.”

A sweatshirt hit Jax in the chest.

“Put it on. What the hell were you thinking, coming up here like that? And just how did you and Kendall—” He held up his hand. “Never mind. I really don’t want to know.”

“I love her, Teddy.”

“You had better, since it looks to me like you’re already sleeping with her.” A pair of socks flew at him. “Can you get those on yourself, or are you gonna start ralphing again?”

He braved the glare to stare at Teddy.

“It’s not as if I haven’t dressed you before, son. Hell, I even diapered your ass a time or two. Whipped it too.”

Jax winced as he remembered the time when he was thirteen and Teddy caught him and Jaime taking a joyride in his parents’ car. “I couldn’t sit down for days. Neither could Jaime.” It was never mentioned again. Jax always wondered if it was to cover his own ass. Still, Teddy never left the keys in the ignition after that.

“You’re lucky you didn’t kill yourselves. I suspect Jaime had his hand in this too?”

“No, sir.”

Teddy gave him his I’m-not-buying-your-bullshit stare.

“He was an accomplice after the fact. I didn’t give him much of a choice—he either had to back me or rat me out.”

“That’s not a good position to put a friend in, and you know it.”

“I was desperate.”

“I hope you can live with whatever it was you did. I hope it was worth it. And I hope, for your sake, you can make this right, because if I ever see that look in my little girl’s eyes again and know you put it there . . .” He shook his head. “Get up, and let’s go. Grace is waiting on me, and damned if I know what to tell her.”

The problem was, neither did he.

“And you might want to hide the evidence before we leave, son, because knowing Grace, she and Addie will be up here to clean. There are some things a parent just doesn’t want to know.”

Jax tossed the box of condoms into the drawer with the others and groaned at the expression on Teddy’s face. He’d seen all three boxes. What could he say? Telling Teddy that his daughter bought them and was unsure of the size smacked of throwing Kendall under the proverbial bus, but he didn’t want Teddy to think he was a total horn dog either. “It’s not what it looks like—”

Teddy held up his hand. “I do not want to know.”

Boots hit Jax in the chest none too gently. He didn’t bother saying anything; he just stuffed his feet in them. “I’m going to brush my teeth.”

“Fine. I’ll get some soapy water and go wash down the porch.”

“Teddy, can you please just leave me here? I can’t tell you anything until Kendall does. . . . I can’t break her confidence.”

“No, son. I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I refuse to keep anything from Grace.”

“You never told her about the joyride.”

“Let’s just say you and Jaime weren’t the only ones who learned a hard lesson that day. Lies of omission are still lies. And that’s a slippery slope.”

“Yeah, I figured that one out on my own.”

K
endall threw her Jeep in four-wheel drive and took off, stopping in front of Jaime’s place. She knew he was home; both his trucks were out front. She didn’t bother knocking, and just walked in. “Jaime, where are you?”

“Kendall?” He stepped out of the kitchen, holding a dishtowel. “Hey, gorgeous. What’s up?”

“I came to collect something.” She stepped close and leaned in like she was going to kiss his cheek or whisper in his ear—right before she grabbed his shoulders and kneed him in the balls, knocking the air right out of him. “You son of a bitch. I know Jax put you up to it, but, shit, Jaime, we’re not children anymore. I thought you were my friend. What kind of friend would knowingly allow another friend to make a fool of me?”

He croaked something that sounded like an apology.

“I guess friends don’t usually knee each other in the balls either, so now we’re even.”

“Kenny,” he limped over to her and grabbed her arm. “Listen to me, dammit. I don’t know what went down between you and Jax, and I don’t want to know. I really, really don’t.” He shook his head, his face looked pasty,
and his voice sounded off. “But, Kenny, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to Jax, and he knows it. He made one mistake. Don’t let one stupid move ruin what you two have together.”

“Whatever we had—past tense—was based on a lie. Jax Sullivan is no different from David. Hell, he’s worse. He knew what happened, and he still lied to me.”

“Bullshit. I know David the Dickhead. The only person David ever loved was himself. It’s different with Jax. Until Jax met you, he’d been in an emotional deep freeze. He hasn’t had a thaw that I know of since his folks died. When they died, it was like he turned into a different person. These past two weeks have been the first time I’ve seen my best friend in more than fourteen years. Kendall, he loves you, and I can’t help but think you had more to do with bringing my best friend back to the world of the living than that knock upside the head did. That was just a wake-up call. You sparked a fire in him I haven’t seen for far too long.”

She couldn’t talk about this anymore. If she did, she’d fall apart like Humpty Dumpty. All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Kendall together again. “I have to get out of here.”

“Okay, but you shouldn’t be driving when you’re this upset. Remember what happened last time?”

She remembered, all right, and that meltdown was nothing compared to what she knew was coming. “I’ll be fine.”

“Kendall, promise me you’ll think about what I said. The two of you are like siblings to me. I don’t want to lose either of you.”

She just nodded and then ran. She couldn’t breathe; she might never breathe again. God, her whole body
ached from holding herself together. But Jaime was right about one thing: she shouldn’t be driving to Boston. Not now.

Ten minutes later, she pulled up to Addie’s house and banged on the door.

As soon as she saw Addie in her Pepto-Bismol pink footie pajamas, it was as if the floodgates shot open.

“What the H-E-double-toothpicks is wrong? Are you hurt?” Addie’s arms came around her and dragged her inside and into her cozy kitchen. “Sweetie, David’s not worth all this. It’s been two weeks—I knew leaving you alone was a mistake.”

“It . . . it’s not David. It’s J-J-Jax.”

“Jackson Sullivan?” Addie filled the teakettle and turned to face her. “What does he have to do with anything?”

“I didn’t recognize him. He lied to me, even after I told him about David.” Humiliation washed over her like the spray of muddy water from a passing bus after a big thaw. She hiccuped. “And oh, God, I threw myself at him.”

“You did?”

Kendall closed her eyes and nodded. “I slept with him—a lot.”

“You had sex with Jax Sullivan?”

“Oh yeah.”

“Good sex?”

“Better than the best sex you’ve read about. He did things to my body I didn’t even know were possible. Oh, God, I may never have sex that good again.”

“He’s not the only man on the planet with a dick, believe me. They’re all just dicks with two legs and a little, itty-bitty brain.”

“I trusted him. Addie, I fell in love with him. But he’s no different from David.”

“Whoa, slow down. Where was Jax?”

“At the cabin.”

“He was at the cabin all this time? You’ve been together for two weeks, and you didn’t bother to tell me you were ripping up the sheets with the Grand Pooh-Bah?” Addie pulled a half dozen tissues out of the box and handed over the wad.

Kendall started shredding them. “I didn’t know. That’s the whole point. He lied to me. He said he was a tenant fixing the roof for a reduced rental rate. He said his name was Jack. I didn’t recognize him—he has a beard, his hair was longish, he was dressed like a construction worker, he even had callused hands. The Jax Sullivan I know of never did a day of manual labor in his life. What would he be doing reroofing the hunting cabin? I never put the two together in my mind.”

“So, you thought you were going home with a total stranger named Jack?”

“No, I knew my dad would have checked him out. Besides, it was late, and I didn’t want to call you to come get me, so I stayed in the spare room.” She nodded while she blew her nose. “He lied.”

“No, not technically he didn’t. His name is Jack.”

“He’s always gone by Jax or Jackson. He’s never ever been called Jack before. Jack was his father.”

“How do you know? You haven’t seen this man for fourteen years. He lives and works in Chicago. Maybe everyone in Chicago calls him Jack.”

“Well, then, why did he say he was renting his own cabin?”

“You tell me. Why would he say that? And why was
he staying there instead of the lake house? If I knew he was home, I’d have covered for Grace and kept him fed and the pantry stocked, at least.”

She didn’t know how much to tell Addie. She could just imagine what people in town would say, not to mention the impact on his career, if they found out that Jax didn’t come out of the hospital with all his faculties. Maybe Jack went to the cabin to hide; if no one knew he was in town, no one would discover his brain injury. He’d told her, but maybe he didn’t want anyone else to know. It wasn’t her story to tell. “He might have had his reasons for not wanting anyone to know he was in town. Maybe. Possibly. It’s not inconceivable.”

“Reasons you can’t share with me?”

Kendall nodded.

“Were they valid?”

“Maybe.”

“What would have happened if you’d known who he was?”

“I would have called you to come and get me.”

“And I would have known he was in town.”

“You wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“You know that and I know that, but would Jax know that?”

“Maybe—maybe not. You tell me.”

“Jax is an enigma. It’s like he walks around in his own little bubble. You see him sometimes when he comes out—which is rarely. He always comes alone, unless Rocki meets him. And when he’s here, he might go to town, but it’s as if no one ever touches him. It’s—”

“Like he’s in an emotional deep freeze?”

“Exactly.”

“That’s what Jaime said. He seems to think I thawed him out or something.”

“Jaime might be a complete ass, but he’s also pretty perceptive. If anyone would know, it would be Jaime. They’ve been best friends since they were little kids.”

“And now my parents know.” She covered her face with her hands. “God, they probably think . . . hell, I can’t even imagine what they think. Dad caught us, and before I left, he told me to go see my mother. I can’t, Addie. I don’t even know what I’d say. ‘Oh, David broke my heart, and I jumped into bed with the first man I saw—literally’?”

Addie put the tea tray together and started making breakfast. “Well, you’d better think about it, because I’ll bet you all my poker money that your mother will be here within the hour.”

Kendall dropped her head to the table and gave it a few bangs. Damn, it didn’t help this time either.