Hope Chest (10 page)

“So you just snuck off and got married without consulting any of us first? Is that the way we do things in this family, Anna?” When Mom stopped speaking, she released a muffled sob.

Dad leaned over so he was looking Anna right in the face. “Why’d you wait so long to tell us this? Why weren’t you honest from the beginning?”

“I was afraid if I was up front with you about this that you wouldn’t understand and would try to talk me out of marrying Reuben.”

He nodded. “That’s right. We would have. Any decent parent would try to make their kinner understand the consequences of a choice such as this.”

Mom let loose with another sob, and it nearly chilled Rachel to the bone. She leaned against the wall, feeling as if her whole world was caving in around her. How could she have been so blind? Anna had been telling her that she didn’t love Silas, yet she’d been leading the poor fellow on. She’d been acting secretive and kind of pensive lately, too. Rachel should have asked her sister what was going on much sooner. If Anna had been straight with her about things, maybe she could have talked some sense into her stubborn head.

“As you probably know, Reuben’s got himself a job working for a paint contractor in Lancaster,” Anna continued. “That’s where we plan to live—in an apartment Reuben found for us. I just came home tonight to explain things and gather up my belongings. Reuben’s home telling his folks now, too, and he’s coming to get me in the morning.”

“I won’t hear this kind of talk in my house!” There was a
thud,
and Rachel was pretty sure her father’s hand had connected with the kitchen table.

“Oh, Daniel, now look what you’ve gone and done,” Mom said tearfully. “All my squares are verhuddelt.”

“Our daughter’s just announced that she’s gotten married today and plans to leave the faith, and all you can think about is your mixed-up quilting squares? What’s wrong with you,
fraa?
”

“But ... but ... Anna was raised in the Amish faith,” Mom blubbered. “She’s been baptized and has already joined the church, so we’ll have to shun her now.”

“Don’t you think I know that already?”

Rachel chanced another peek to see how things were looking. Dad paced back and forth across the faded linoleum. Mom had gathered up the quilting pieces that had been scattered all over the table. Anna just sat with her arms folded.

“I know you don’t understand my decision to go English with Reuben, but I love him ever so much.”

Dad slapped his hands together, and Rachel jumped back behind the door. “You’re our firstborn child, Anna, and it’s gonna break our hearts if you run off and leave your faith behind.”

“I’m not giving up my faith in God,” Anna defended. “We’ll find another church where we can worship God.”

“Are you sure you can’t talk Reuben into staying Amish?”

“No, Mom. Reuben’s set on leaving. He likes having a truck to drive, and he enjoys many other modern things.”

“Maybe I should have a little talk with that young fellow. Might could be that he’ll come to his senses once I set him straight on a few things.”

“Please, Dad, don’t do that. I’m sure it will only make things worse.”

“You’d have to give up your way of dress if you left,” Mom said.

“I know.”

“Since Reuben’s not joined the church, he won’t be shunned, but you will be, Anna. Surely you must realize the seriousness of this.”

“I know it won’t be easy.” Anna sighed. “For Reuben’s sake, I’ll just have to deal with it.”

Dad’s fist pounded the table again. “You can’t do this, Anna. I forbid it!”

Rachel shuddered. Whenever their father forbade anyone in the family to do anything, that was the end of it, plain and simple. No arguments. No discussion. But if Anna was already married to Reuben, then she had to consider what he wanted now, didn’t she?

Anna sucked in a huge sob. “I’m sorry, Mom and Dad, but my place is with Reuben, and the two of us will be moving to Lancaster in the morning no matter what anyone says.”

Rachel had heard all she could stand, and a raw ache settled in the pit of her stomach. She turned and tiptoed up the stairs as quickly as she could. Her oldest sister was about to be shunned, and there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.

***

Morning came much too quickly as far as Rachel was concerned. To make matters worse, she had awakened feeling as though she hadn’t slept at all. Part of her heart went out to her sister, for she seemed so sincere in her proclamation about loving Reuben and needing to leave the Amish faith because of his desire to go English. Another part of her heart felt sorry for poor, lovesick Silas. What was he going to say when he got wind of this terrible news? He’d been friends with Anna a long time and had brought her home from a singing not long ago. He must believe he had a chance with her.

And what about the greenhouse? Who would help Mom and Dad with that? Anna had been working there for several years, and the folks weren’t getting any younger. Eventually they would need someone to take the business over completely.

Rachel slipped out of her nightgown and into a dress, feeling like the weight of the world rested on her shoulders. She was sure that she would be asked to fill in for Anna at the greenhouse. Joseph liked flowers well enough, but he was busy working the fields, and Dad often helped in the fields, especially during harvest season. If Rachel were forced into the confines of the stuffy, humid greenhouse, she would hardly have any time for watching birds, hiking, or fishing. She knew it was selfish, but she was more than a little miffed at Anna for sticking her with this added responsibility.

A sudden ray of hope ignited in Rachel’s heart. With Anna leaving, Silas might begin to take notice of her.

She poured some water from the pitcher on her dresser into the washing bowl.
Guess I could even tolerate working with flowers all day if I had a chance at love with Silas.

The idea stuck in Rachel’s mind like unbuttered taffy, and she splashed some water on her face, hoping the stinging cold might get her thinking straight. As the cool liquid made contact, she allowed her anxiety to fully surface. Silas wasn’t going to turn to her just because Anna was no longer available. Besides, even if by some miracle he did, Rachel would be his second choice. She’d be like yesterday’s warmed-over stew.

Her shoulders drooped with anguish and a feeling of hopelessness. She wasn’t sure she wanted Silas’s love if it had to be that way. But then, she
was
a beggar, and beggars couldn’t be choosy.

Rachel hung her nightgown on a wall peg and put her head covering in place. She might look ready to face the day, but in her heart she sure wasn’t ready. She hated the thought of going downstairs. After everything that had gone on between Anna and the folks last night, Rachel had a pretty good notion what things would be like with the start of this new day. As much as she might like a chance with Silas, she didn’t want it this way. Anna’s leaving would affect them all.

A sudden knock on the door startled her. “Who is it?”

“Rachel, it’s me. Are you up?” Anna called through the closed door.

“Just getting dressed. Tell Mom I’ll be right down to help with breakfast.”

“Could I come in? I need to talk to you.”

“Jah, sure.”

When Anna opened the door, Rachel saw immediately that she had been crying. Probably most of the night, truth be told. She also noticed that her sister’s hope chest was at her feet.

Anna bent down and pushed the cumbersome trunk into Rachel’s room. “I can’t stay long,” she said in a quavering voice. “I’ll be leaving soon, but I wanted you to have this before I go.”

Rachel’s heart slammed into her chest. Should she tell Anna she had been listening in on her private conversation with the folks last night or play dumb? Probably wouldn’t be a good idea to let her know she had been eavesdropping.

“You’re leaving?” she mumbled.

Anna nodded.

“Where are you going?” Rachel asked, making no mention of what she knew about Reuben or saying anything concerning the hope chest Anna had slid to the end of her bed.

“Last night after you went upstairs, I told Mom and Dad that I’ve been secretly seeing Reuben Yutzy.”

“Really?”

“Jah.”

“But Reuben’s not a member of the church yet, and from what I hear, he’s kind of wild.”

Anna frowned. “Reuben’s got a hankering for some modern things, but he’s really a nice fellow.” She took a seat on the edge of Rachel’s bed. “The thing is ... well, Reuben and I got married yesterday.”

“You ... you did?” Rachel hated playing dumb like this, but if Anna had any idea that Rachel already knew about her plans, she’d probably be too miffed to share anything else that was on her mind.

“We went to Lancaster and got married by a justice of the peace. Then a few hours later, Reuben went home to tell his folks, and I came here to tell ours. Last night was the final time for me to sleep in my old room, because this morning, Reuben’s coming for me. We’ll be leaving.”

Rachel sucked in her breath and flopped down beside her sister. “But ... but where will you go?”

“We’ll be living in an apartment in Lancaster.” Anna sighed. “Of course, the folks are pretty upset, but they need to realize that I love Reuben, and my place is with him now.”

“What about your hope chest?” Rachel’s voice dropped to a near whisper. “Won’t you be needing all your things now that you’re married and about to set up housekeeping?”

Anna shook her head. “The apartment Reuben rented is fully furnished. Besides, the things in that chest would only be painful reminders of my past.” She nodded at Rachel. “Better that you have ’em.”

Rachel was sorely tempted to tell her sister that there wasn’t much point in her having one hope chest, much less two, since she would probably never marry. She thought better of it, though, because she could see from the dismal look on Anna’s face that saying good-bye was hurting her badly.

“If you renounce your faith, you’ll be shunned. You’ve been baptized into membership, Anna. Have you forgotten that?”

Anna blew out her breath. “Of course I haven’t forgotten. Leaving my home and family is the sacrifice I have to make. There isn’t any other way that I can see.”

Rachel jumped up. “Yes, there is! You can talk Reuben into forgetting all this nonsense about going English. You can stay right here and marry Reuben again in the Amish church.” Strangely enough, Rachel found herself wishing Anna had accepted Silas’s offer to court her. With him, at least, she knew Anna would be staying in the faith.

What am I thinking? Here I am, so in love with Silas that my heart could burst, and I’m wishing my sister could be making plans to marry him.

Rachel’s vision clouded with tears as she thought about how this news would affect the man she loved. “What about Silas? You rode home with him in his courting buggy from a singing not long ago. Didn’t that mean anything?”

Anna dropped her gaze to the floor. “I—I didn’t mean to lead Silas on, but even if I weren’t planning to leave, I wouldn’t have married Silas. I don’t love him. I never have.”

Rachel planted her hands on her hips as she stared hard at her sister. Anna seemed almost a stranger to her now. What had happened to her pleasant childhood playmate? Where had the closeness she’d once felt with Anna gone?

“Silas is a wonderful man, and he loves you. Doesn’t that count at all?”

Anna lifted her head to look at Rachel. “I’m sorry for Silas, but I have to go with my heart.” She drew in a deep breath. “What do
you
want out of life, Rachel?”

Rachel swallowed hard. “That’s easy. I want love ... marriage ... and lots of kinner.”

“Since you’re so worried about Silas, why don’t you try to make him happy? Maybe the two of you will marry someday, and he’ll give you a whole houseful of children.”

Rachel shook her head. “I wish I could make Silas happy, but I can’t, because he doesn’t love me.”

CHAPTER 8

Not one word was said during breakfast about Anna’s plans to leave. It was almost as if nothing had gone on last night. Rachel figured her folks either were hoping they could talk Anna and Reuben out of leaving and into getting married again within the church or had already begun the shunning.

When breakfast was over, Dad went outside. Rachel was at the sink doing dishes, and when she glanced out the window, she saw him hitch up the buggy and head on down the road. She thought it was odd that he hadn’t said where he was going.

A short time later, Dad returned with Deacon Byler following in his own closed-in rig. Rachel was out in the garden with Elizabeth when she saw the two men climb down from their buggies.

Rachel straightened and pressed a hand against her lower back to ease out some of the kinks. The deacon stepped close to the garden and nodded at her. “Where’s your sister Anna? I’m here to speak with her.”

Before Rachel could reply, Anna came out of the house, lugging an old suitcase down the steps. She wasn’t wearing her kapp, cape, or apron. At least she wore a dress, and her hair was pinned up in a bun.