Hopeless (27 page)

Victoria pushed the image of Jay whispering
quiet words of endearment to her as they welcomed their own baby into the world
out of her mind. She had no right to ask for more than she’d already been
given. She had her health, a man who loved her, and the chance to be a mother.
A few years ago, those blessings wouldn’t have seemed possible.  

The nurse came back in and asked for a few
minutes so they could prep the patient for delivery.

“We’ll be back soon,” Victoria whispered,
leaning over to press a kiss to Lena’s cheek.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Lena cried, as
another wave of pain wracked her small body.

Victoria held Lena’s hand, encouraging her
to breathe through the contraction and squeeze her hand. Once the pain passed,
she and Jay slipped out, promising to return as soon as they were permitted
back in the room. 

Instead of going to the waiting room to
give their friends and family an update, Victoria kept walking straight to the
nursery down the hall. She peered through the glass, marveling at the tiny
bundles swaddled in pastel blankets with tiny little hats on their heads. Some
were crying, others were trying to open their eyes to the light, and more were
just looking around, taking in their new surroundings.

“They’re so beautiful, so perfect,”
Victoria whispered when she felt Jay pull her into the circle of his arms.

He kissed her cheek and she could feel his
smile against her skin. “They are.”

“Did Lena tell you she asked me to adopt
her baby?” Victoria whispered, praying this wasn’t the first he’d heard about
it.

“She did.” He pressed his lips to her hair
before he asked, “How do you feel about that, darlin’?”

“I want to.” She turned into his arms. “But
I don’t want to have to choose between you and the baby, Jay. I love you, but
I’m already in love with her, too. I know it’s crazy; she’s not even here yet.
She’s not even mine, but—”

He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “It’s
not crazy, Vic. I think it’s incredible—you’re incredible.”

She rested her head on his chest, listening
to the sound of his heart beating against her ear. “What if she decides she
doesn’t want to give the baby up anymore? What if she takes one look at her and
realizes she wants to be her mama?”

“You’ll support her no matter what she decides.
We both will.”

Victoria wrapped her arms around his waist
and held him tight. “It’ll break my heart. I know it’s terrible. I shouldn’t
say — I shouldn’t even think it, but…”

“I don’t think you have to worry, honey.
Lena is just a baby herself. She’s only fifteen. She has so much livin’ to do
before she’s ready to think about bein’ a mama.”

Victoria wanted to believe adopting Lena’s
baby would be the best thing for everyone, but a part of her worried the girl
might change her mind days or weeks from now when the baby had already stolen
her heart.

“Trey told me he and Sierra want Lena to
stay with them indefinitely. Alisa’s already begging Trey to send Lena to her
school in the fall.”

“Are you serious?” To go from being
homeless to living in a mansion with a famous singer and his family, attending
a private school… it was like all of Lena’s dreams were coming true, and it
wouldn’t have happened had Jay not stepped up and fought for Lena. “I love you
so much,” she whispered, not caring her tears were dropping onto his cotton
shirt. “Do you know how lucky I am you came into my life?”

He smiled as he brushed her tears away. “I
feel the same way.”

“Jay, if Lena does want me to adopt the
baby, I’m not expecting it to be easy. I mean, being a single parent never is,
but I’ll do my best to make time for you, and for us.” When he frowned, she
said, “If you still want to pursue this thing between us?”

He stepped out of her arms. “This
thing
between
us? I thought I made myself clear; I want you with me all the time, at home, at
the studio. I want to build a life with you, Victoria.”

“But that was before you found out I want
to adopt a baby.” Even though he was only standing a few feet away, he might as
well have been on the other side of the room. The gap between them seemed to be
widening with every word she spoke, and she didn’t know how to close it. She
was so afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing and losing him again. “Please,
don’t look at me like that… like you’re angry or disappointed in me. I’m not doing
this to hurt you.”

“But you are hurting me.”

She reached out to touch him, but he seized
her wrist. “You think I’d make you choose between being a mother and loving
me?”

“I don’t want you to feel pressured into
anything. Adopting this baby is my decision, not yours. It’s not fair to expect
you to step up and…” She bit her tongue when she saw she was only making
matters worse by rambling on in the face of his rage.

“Why don’t you ask me what I want,
Victoria?”

“What do you want?” she whispered, praying
it wasn’t too late.

“You.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her
against his chest. “I want you, and I want to be a father to that baby, if you
want me to?”

She dropped her head against his chest,
unable to believe her good fortune. Not only did she have a man who loved her
unconditionally, but she’d found someone who understood that sometimes she was
still her own worst enemy. “I do.”

He kissed her forehead. “Good, it’s settled
then.”

“Wait.” She reached for his shirt when he
turned away. “What if she doesn’t want to give up the baby?”

“Then we’ll do everything we can to help
her.”

“But where does that leave us?”

He threaded his hand through hers and
brought her hand to his lips as he looked into her eyes. “Together. Whatever
happens, we’ll deal with it together, agreed?”

“Agreed.”

After tending to her immediate needs, the
medical team granted them a few moments with the baby before they had to take
her back to the NICU.

Jay watched the look of shock and awe on
Victoria’s face when she held that beautiful baby girl in her arms for the
first time and he could feel his heart swelling in his chest. He had no idea he
could love someone so completely.

“You look so right holding her,” Lena said,
biting her lip.

Victoria looked down at the exhausted teen
and smiled. “It feels right.”

“Have you given any more thought to what I
asked you?” She looked from Victoria to Jay and back again.

“I have.” Victoria sat down beside her on
the bed, still cradling the baby as Jay stood behind her. “But I need to know
whether that’s something you still want, honey.”

Lena looked at the infant and smiled as she
reached out to stroke her tiny little clenched fist. “I want to be a mama, I
do, but I can’t. Not yet.” She closed her eyes as she leaned her head against
the pillows. “It wouldn’t be fair to her. I have nothing to offer her.”

Jay didn’t want her to make this decision
because she felt like she didn’t have any other options; he wanted her to be
sure she was making the right choice for herself and her baby. “I’m happy to
help you out financially until you get on your feet, Lena.”

Victoria tipped her head back and smiled at
him.

He was concerned she may be upset he was
offering Lena an alternative, a way to keep her baby, but when she looked into
his eyes, he knew she understood he was doing this as much for them as he was
for Lena. He couldn’t stand the thought of falling in love with this baby, or
allowing Victoria to fall in love with her, only to have her taken away from
them.

“You don’t know how much that means,” Lena
said, pressing her fist against her lips. “But I can’t, Jay.” Her breath caught
on a sob. “I hope you don’t think I’m a horrible person for wanting to give my
baby away.”

Jay reached over to take her hand.
“Sweetheart, I think you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. What
you’re doin’ for your baby takes a lot of courage.”

“Maybe if she had a daddy like you,” Lena
said, offering him a watery smile. “But her daddy didn’t want her any more than
mine wanted me.”

“I’d be honored to be your baby’s daddy.”
He sat at the foot of her bed and caressed Victoria’s hair as she brushed a
fingertip across the baby’s soft cheek.

Lena’s mouth fell open. “You mean… you
two…” She covered her mouth with her hands as the tears fell from her eyes.
“You would honestly consider adoptin’ my baby? Both of you? Together?”

“Is that what you want?” Jay asked
cautiously. He knew she was still reeling from the labor and delivery. He
didn’t want her to make a decision she might regret later.

“You mean she’d have a real family… a real
mama and daddy to love her?” She looked at the newborn sleeping in Victoria’s
arms. “It’s more than I’d hoped for. Victoria, when I asked you to adopt her,
it was because I knew she needed a strong female role model, but knowing she’d have
a man like Jay in her life, too…”

“Are you sure this is what you want,
honey?” Victoria asked as the tears slid down her cheeks. “Jay and I will
understand if you need some time to think about it.”

“No, I want this.” She cradled the baby’s
head in the palm of her hand. “She deserves this.” Lena looked up at Jay. “Does
this mean you’ll be gettin’ married?”

Jay laughed and tried to mask it as a cough
when Victoria frowned at him. “Yeah, that’s the plan.”

“But not right away,” Victoria said,
kissing the sleeping baby’s cheek. “First we need to get used to living
together and taking care of this sweet baby girl.”

It didn’t matter to Jay whether it happened
a month from now or a year from now; in his mind, they were already
his
family.

“You guys have made me so happy,” Lena
said, reaching for both of their hands. “I can’t thank you enough for doin’
this for me.”

“You’re the one who’s given us a gift,”
Victoria said, smiling. “And I promise we’ll never let you or her down.”

“Hey,” Jay said, resting his hand on
Victoria’s shoulder. “There’s a whole bunch of people out there waitin’ to meet
our little princess. How ‘bout we take her out there and make the
introductions?”

Victoria wrinkled her nose. “A hospital
waiting room… with all those germs?” She shook her head. “I don’t think it’s a
good idea.”

“Okay, let me see what I can do about
gettin’ us somethin’ a bit more private.” He stepped outside the room and
beckoned Trey over.

Jay knew there was very little the world at
large wasn’t willing to grant Trey Turner when he asked. “Can you set up a
private room, man? Victoria and I need to talk to y’all about somethin’.”

Trey clapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, is
everything okay? There’s no problem with the baby is there?”

“No, everything’s good. Great, in fact.”

“Okay, just give me a few minutes,” Trey
said.

Jay watched him walk up to the admissions
desk and chuckled as Trey flirted with the pretty young nurse on duty until he
got his way. He hoped like hell his little girl would never fall victim to a sweet-talking
cowboy like him, but he knew the day would come eventually. He just hoped
twenty years would be enough time to prepare himself.

Victoria sat in a chair cradling her baby
and staring at the expectant faces gathered around them. Like the sweet,
over-protective daddy she knew he was going to be, Jay insisted they all give
the baby some space instead of crowding around her, oohing and aahing over how
pretty she was.

“So, I’m sure you’re all wonderin’ what’s
goin’ on,” Jay said, grinning. “Let’s just say, Victoria and I are a couple
now.”

Ashley bounced up and down in her seat and
clapped her hands. “I knew it. I knew it was all gonna work out.”

Derek rolled his eyes. “I think ya know how
my wife feels about welcomin’ you to the family, Victoria.”

Family.
Victoria looked around the small room and, with a lump
rising in her throat, she realized these people were going to be her extended
family. Jay and their baby, Ava, were her family now. The one thing she’d
always wanted, but was always afraid to hope for: a family of her own.

Jay sat down on the arm of the chair beside
her and drew both her and Ava against his body. “What’s more…” He took a deep
breath. “Lena’s asked us to adopt Ava and we’ve agreed.”

There was a collective gasp around the room
before everyone jumped up and started the screaming, crying, back-slapping, and
hand-shaking. Mike was the only one to hold back. He looked at both his brother
and Victoria before asking, “This is a huge responsibility. You sure you guys
are ready for this?”

Jay and Victoria exchanged a brief glance
before she smiled and said, “We’re sure.”

Mike gripped Victoria’s chin in his hand
and shocked her by pressing a kiss to her lips.

“Hey.” Jay pushed against his brother’s
shoulder and chuckled. Nothing, not even Mike’s antics, could bring him down
today. “You do that again and I’ll have to kick your ass.”