Hornet's Nest (6 page)

MY EYES WINCED as they adjusted to the bright lights of the lobby.
Fucking whiskey.
I never wanted him to know. Some stupid part of me cared for the bastard, but he would never have to go through what I went through—the sole reason of what drove me to whiskey.

There was no excuse to go out of my way to seek any attention today. I had gained enough of that last night. I dressed simply in a fitted gray dress with black ballet flats. I didn’t even want to look at my boots. My feet were still sore from all the strutting yesterday.

The office was still quiet thirty minutes before work officially started for the day. I just needed to get settled and drink some coffee. The lack of sleep and the overindulgence of whiskey would more than likely cause a rough day. That and the fact I would have to see Lance… the father of my child.

I should have never called him an asshole. I wasn’t proud of myself in that moment. I haven’t been proud of myself in any moment with Lance, even our night in the country. If I hadn’t given in so easily, none of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have missed out on the birth of my goddaughter. I wouldn’t have lost any bit of self-confidence. I wouldn’t be the wreck I was today. So much had happened within the past year, I was afraid I would never be the same. There was no use, though. Meeting Lance Walton was inevitable. I could have met him years from now, and I’d have fallen for him every time.

I stared at my computer screen as it loaded up for the day. If I could just keep myself busy then the day would go by fast and I could go home to the comfort of my sofa, not the comfort of the whiskey boys. They had their way with me last night. I was spent. I took a sip of coffee from my travel mug as I pulled out a stack of paper from my inbox. I placed the mug back on my desk and laid the paperwork in my lap, flipping through to find anything that had to be entered right away. I stopped skimming the paperwork when my skin stung with some instinctive force. I didn’t have to look up to confirm that he was here. My body responded to him so willingly. I exhaled quietly before turning around. I was damned from the start.

I turned my head and glanced at that former cowboy, standing in front of my window with his arms hanging loosely by his sides as he looked over the city of Charlotte. His sexy smirk wasn’t anywhere in sight and his eyes looked heavy. Maybe I wasn’t the only one that couldn’t sleep last night. He was angry. I guessed he should be. He had every right to be angry at me since I never did get the chance to tell him. My chest clenched, watching his pain. I didn’t think he would care. I really never thought he
could
have cared.

I placed the stack of paper gently on my desk and swiveled an inch in my chair to face him. I clasped my hands together and rested them on my lap. He was going to have a lot of questions. I had to be honest with him and not act like the bitch I kept portraying myself to be. I wanted to build up a wall between us as he had accused me of last night, but just for this moment, I had to let the bricks fall down. It was the right thing to do.

“Well, I know you didn’t have a baby,” he said as he continued to stare out of the window. He took a deep breath as he closed his eyes and bowed his head. “You didn’t get an…”

“No.” I shook my head fiercely. I would never think of it. The thought never crossed my mind. My vision glazed over having to relive this all again. I tried to keep the tears in, but with my wall broken down, everything was on the verge of pouring out. I breathed in slowly as my whole body trembled from the tension.

“I miscarried a few weeks after I found out.”

His shoulders sagged. He opened his eyes and overlooked Charlotte. He bowed his head from the view, breathing in deep. Maybe he was relieved. It was probably a good thing he was relieved. I didn’t want him to care, really. It would have made it worse. He lifted his head and looked to me. The breath caught in my throat when I saw his eyes. The brilliant emerald was encased by red, a single tear dripping from the corner.

Lance shook his head slowly and closed the distance between us. Any war I’d waged against this man was at a ceasefire for this one moment. He crouched down next to me, taking my hands from my lap and placing them into his. From one single touch of his hand, any remaining built up debris from the crumbling wall around my heart was swept away. Could it be possible to let him back in for one fleeting moment? The concern in his eyes made me believe that it was okay… at least, for this one moment as we grieved the loss of
our
child.

“You were pregnant with my child?” he asked in a whisper as his voice cracked from holding back the pool of tears swimming in his eyes. Seeing his despair brought on my own; silent tears dripped down my cheeks. I nodded in response. If I spoke, the dam would crumble along with the wall that encased my heart.

“We had a child together?” His thumb brushed over my knuckles, and I looked down at our entwined hands, nodding again in response. One of his hands let go and he cupped my cheek. I felt lost in his stare. He wiped a tear with his thumb and whispered, “I am so sorry you had to go through that alone.”

My only response was a sad smile. I didn’t think he quite understood how alone I really was. And when I had lost our child, I felt it even more. I tore my eyes away, unwilling to allow myself to get sucked in again. The wall rebuilt itself. He’d had his one moment. I pulled my hands away and wiped the tears from my face, brushing his hand from my cheek. He took his cue to stand up, walked away. I kept my eyes on my lap and my empty hands. I needed to compose myself for the day.

“Katherine.”

I glanced up at the door as Lance stood just inside my office. His eyes downcast and his face filled with sadness, he blew out a breath.

“I called you three times.”

My jaw went slack as the breath caught in my throat. He turned away and left my office. I stared at his departure as the muscles in my face tensed. Why did he say he had called? He never called. I waited for days. No, I waited for months. I had still been waiting when he walked back into my life. It was stupid. No one should ever wait for a man, but here I was, a year and a half later, and still waiting. I needed to talk to him. We needed to clear this up. I would have answered if he had actually called! Lord knows I willed that phone to ring more than enough.

I hopped out of my chair, hurried out of my office, and slammed right into the hard chest of Joshua Black. I looked up at his inviting eyes, and for the first time today, I was able to smile. A sexy little grin slid up his face.

“Where’s the fire, beautiful?” His hands made their way to my hips, holding me close to him. The brazen proximity was shocking, even more so that we were outside my office and people were beginning to come in for the day. I couldn’t move. I
had
to make myself move on from Lance Walton. Joshua Black was a damn good start.

“Are you coming to spy on the accounting department, Mr. Black?” I bit my lip in an attempt to contain my blushing. His eyes flickered to my mouth. I knew I had to make some sort of move.

“Do you like what you see?”

His grin quirked even bigger as he said, “Oh yeah, I do.”

He grabbed my hand still lying upon his chest and pulled me back into my office. He closed the door behind us and spun around to face me. My heart thumped as I caught the look in his lustful eyes. I rested my hands on the desk behind me as he slowly approached, coming within mere centimeters of my face. The look in his eyes did not seem right. The stare didn’t seem like Lance’s. Maybe that was what I needed right now. I had to put Lance far from my mind. This was the only way I could do that. He placed his hands on my hips as he thrust himself against me. There was absolutely nothing romantic about it, but I still couldn’t allow myself to settle down. His mouth claimed mine in an instant. As his tongue darted in, nothing registered within me. All of this felt … wrong.

I tried to give in. I tried to open myself up to him, but the thought of Lance and our child was still lingering. I pushed Josh away. It was an instinct. He took my pulling away as consent to kiss up my neck. It felt good, just not… right. As his lips traveled up to my ear, he whispered, “Have dinner with me tonight.”

“Yes.” I didn’t know why I said it. I felt I had to. This was the only way to get over Lance. Josh would give me a chance to move on. I smiled and added, “If you keep kissing me in my office, you better disclose this little arrangement to HR. We don’t need to get fired.”

“Don’t you remember who I am? There’s no chance they’d fire me. They’d never get rid of you either, but I’m sure you’re the only exception in the accounting department.” He gave me one last peck and moved confidently toward the door. Pulling it open, he said, “I’ll meet you after work.”

I nodded. Looking up, my heart plummeted. Lance stood framed outside the open office door, his hand raised to knock. His eyes flickered from Josh’s and then to mine. Josh pushed passed him. Lance stood in shock. My mouth felt dry. I didn’t know what to do.

“Lance . . .”

He raised his hand for me to stop, bowed his head, and walked away.

“I CALLED YOU three times.”

I left my declaration hanging in the air as I turned out of her office for my own. I needed personal space. I needed time to think. I sat down behind my computer as I stared blankly at the screen. Her words from that night after the bar played in my head over and over. I would have found out that she was pregnant. I convinced myself that since it was mine, she had gotten rid of it. But she hadn’t. Katherine and I had a child and she lost it. I wasn’t there for her. The look in her eyes this morning and the perpetual wall she continued to build up only told me one thing. She wanted that baby… and she wanted me.

When I cupped her cheek, she didn’t flinch or move away. She had let her guard down; a guard that I had apparently made her build up. I would break down those walls and get her to believe in me.

Was this all because she claimed I didn’t call her? She accused me of not calling. How could I not have called? Our night in the country was one that could never be matched by another woman. Ever. I wanted her. She was all I wanted.

I stared at the screen as my eye focused on an icon labeled,
Directory.
I scooted my chair forward and clicked it open while digging my phone out of my pocket. The computer software instructed me to search by name. I typed in,
Katherine Klein
. While the computer searched, I scrolled through my contacts in my phone. The list had been depleted over the year. Since Katherine, my digital little black book had been deleted. The only women on this phone were my mother, Jordan, Ellie, and Katherine. I even got rid of Angela Butler, but it seemed as if she probably moved on by now. I tapped open Katherine’s name in my contacts and looked up at my computer screen.

Klein, Katherine Elizabeth

I clicked her name on the screen as my knee bounced. This could all be solved today. If what I had assumed was right, everything would be different. The contact opened and I found her cell number on the screen. When I looked down at my phone, my shoulders sagged and a small grin crossed my face.

Good job, dumbass.
I’d mistyped it. That was what I got for sneaking into Jordan’s phone and stealing numbers. I drove myself insane for a year over that woman all because I couldn’t type in numbers correctly. All of this could have been avoided had I just stolen Jordan’s phone again and double checked. Tom never told me if Jordan knew of the night Katherine and I had spent together. I had always assumed Katherine didn’t want Jordan to know, and I could understand that. We never made anything official that night. Her not telling her best friend was perfectly justified. Maybe now, I could make everything better. Now we could laugh it off and even possibly go on a date. I didn’t even know how to date. This was crazy! I had been traumatized over this woman and now I was going to ask her out on a date. I decided I would do it right now. I would explain what had happened, we would laugh, and then we would start over. Was I finally going to have her in my life? My cheeks widened at the thought. There was only one way to find out.

I hopped out of my chair and strolled down the corridor from the accounts payable department to the accounts receivable department. I smiled at my coworkers as they were settling in. I noticed some of the eyes from the women—and even one man—but I was off the market. The woman with the honey-colored eyes was the only one for me.

When I reached her door, it was closed. She probably needed a moment to herself just as I did. It had already been a rough morning, but I had hoped I could make her day better. Her giving me one simple yes could make my whole year better. I raised my hand to knock as the door was yanked open. The smile slid from my cheeks. I came face to face with Joshua Black. He wiped his mouth, and I wanted to punch that slimy smirk off his face. He adjusted his tie as if it had become slightly askew, and then brushed passed me, purposely knocking shoulders with me.

My eyes widened. My jaw slacked. I saw Katherine. Her eyes looked pained, and I realized it must be true. She was really going with Joshua Black.

I’m pretty sure she’ll be riding my cock by the end of the week.

His words played over and over in my head. Oh, God. She was going to fuck Joshua Black, and I couldn’t stop it from happening.

“Lance.”

I had to raise my hand to stop her. I couldn’t take it anymore. I just walked away.

• • •

This day sucked ass. I was numb from everything that had happened since I’d been in this damn city. I had only been at this job for three days (
three days!
) and I’d regretted ever stepping foot into this fucking concrete jungle. I finished any tasks that needed to be done and fucked off the rest of the day, just staring at my computer. I’d make it up tomorrow, but for today … fuck it. I regretted ever going back to her office this morning. I regretted confronting her first thing this morning. I wanted to regret ever meeting Katherine, but I knew that thought was useless. Meeting her was inevitable. Falling for her was destined.

My knee bounced as the clock read 4:30. I had to endure another thirty minutes before I could drink myself numb. I rested my elbows on my knees. I wiped my hands down my face while I sighed. I stared at the time again as the clock clicked over to 4:31.

Fuck it.
I shut down the computer and grabbed my jacket off the back of the chair. There was only one bit of sustenance that I needed for the rest of the night and I knew the infamous bar down the street would be just the place to get it.

Just as I arrived at the elevator bank, Mr. Palmer passed through.
Damn it
.

“Hey, Lance. Done for the day?” he asked while he stopped in front of me and glanced through a few documents.

“Ah… yes, sir. I received a call from my landlord just a few moments ago. My security alarm shorted and it won’t shut off. I didn’t feel comfortable with people being in my apartment without being there.” Man, did I just pull that out of my ass or what! I was a skilled professional from dodging all of those girls. Karma was a bitch it seemed.

“I don’t blame you. See you in the morning,” he said as he continued down the hall. That was easy. I headed down the elevator and onto the street. I really should have been trying to find another bar, but I was desperate. There was no time to search for new watering holes. I yanked open the door and had my pick of where to sit. The after work crowd hadn’t made it out of work just yet.

The douchebag’s blonde was involved with wiping down the empty bar. She really was hot. If I hadn’t been lost to Katherine so many months ago, I’d have tapped that. But Katherine was all I wanted, even if she didn’t want me. I saddled up on the bar and ignored the cost of anything encased by a bottle.

“Did you break out early?” the blonde asked as she threw down her towel and walked over to me. I gazed at her face as she approached. I had to give the man one thing, he knew how to find the attractive women.

“Yeah, I figured my time was better spent here.”

“Let me guess. A country boy? I bet you need a shot of whiskey.”

“You’d be right.” Always the country boy’s drink of choice after a long day, regardless if it was due to work or heart break. She turned away and held up a bottle of Jack Daniels. I nodded in reply. Only Jack would do.

“The people from Charlotte still have accents, yet you don’t. Where are you from?” I asked as she placed down the whiskey in front of me. I shot it back and winced.
If it burns, it works.
She held up the bottle again, and I nodded in reply.

“I’m from Richmond, Virginia.” She finished the pour and asked, “Did you want a chaser?”

“Nope. This is good.” I shot it back and placed the empty glass on the bar. “Did you leave Richmond for a fabulous life in Charlotte as a bartender?”

She winced a little. It was a bit harsh. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ask like that.”

“I came here for a guy,” she sighed and light bulbs burst in my head.
Joshua Black.

“That guy you were with the other night?”

“Have you been stalking me?

“Well, you are a beautiful woman,” I acknowledged. She clamped her mouth closed as she blushed. It was a shame that he didn’t make her feel beautiful. I nodded at the whiskey and she jumped to the bottle to refill my shot. We stared at each other for a moment. Within that stare, it seemed as if we had formed some sort of treaty. I shouldn’t trust anyone in love with Joshua Black, but I had a good read on this woman.

“He’s going after my girl.”

I shot back the whiskey as she slowly placed the bottle down on the bar. Her eyes widened as it seemed like she had just gotten kicked in the gut. She placed her hand on her stomach and breathed out.

“He said it was just business.” She shook her head and placed her hand on her cheek. The tears formed in her eyes as she whispered, “He said the last one was business.”

“The socialite?” I asked, and she nodded, confirming my use of the internet. I shook my head. Thinking about that asshole, I realized he was me in a suit.
Fucking Karma
. I reached for the whiskey bottle and helped myself. I shot it back as I absorbed what was going on. “What kind of business would he be doing with someone who works in accounting?”

“She works in accounting?” Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. I nodded. “He said her father was a high profile business man. Why would the daughter of a high profile business man be working in the accounting department of a law firm?”

“That’s a damn good question. I honestly don’t know who Katherine’s father is.”

“Yeah, Katherine. That’s her name.”

“Do you know who her father is?”

“No.” She shook her head. “I’ve only been here for about six months.”

I extended my hand over the shot glass and said, “Lance Walton.”

She eased her hand inside mine and said, “Heather Carson.”

“Your boyfriend is a douchebag,” I said while shaking her hand. Instead of getting pissed off, she laughed.

“I agree with you, Lance. Josh is the world’s worst douchebag, but I’m afraid I’m stuck with him,” she said as she released my hand.

“You don’t have to be stuck with him. He’s really not the kind of guy you want in your life.”

She stared at me while she laid her hand on her stomach again.
Oh God.
I looked down at her stomach and back into her eyes. “Don’t tell me.”

She nodded as she frowned.

“How far along?”

“Eight weeks.”

The after work crowd had started to roll in, and I didn’t want her to see him tonight. I didn’t know this girl too well, but I could tell when someone was genuine. It looked like she could use a friend. A friend that wasn’t Joshua Black. I pushed myself off the barstool. “Come on. You don’t need to be in here. Let’s go get some dinner.”

She untied her apron without another word and grabbed her bag from under the bar. She came around to meet me on the other side. I reached my hand out for hers, and we strolled outside. Once we got through the crowd, Heather slowed her steps. I turned to her as tears rolled one by one down her face. My shoulders sagged as I pulled her into a hug. As soon as I tucked her head under my chin, I saw Katherine walking down the other side of the street, hand in hand with Joshua Black. Now wasn’t the best time to show Heather that Josh was a douchebag, but Katherine definitely saw me hugging a woman. Being completely numb by whiskey, I didn’t push Heather away. I had seen enough from Katherine over the last three days. She could deal with me hugging another woman. I guess she could just go have her fun with Joshua Black. I didn’t know how to stop it.