Hot Buttered Yum (19 page)

He wanted to hold her. There were demons she was fighting, and even if she didn’t want to share them with him, he wanted to pull her close and offer comfort.

But he did nothing but wait, knowing that he’d probably already pushed too hard.

He glanced to the front of the house where the door stood at the other end of the foyer. He suspected he would be walking through it very soon.

Finally, Roni moved. She shook her head in denial, and he watched as her throat rose and fell. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Why did you come to my house?” she asked.

“Because I knew you wouldn’t come to me.”

Because he hadn’t been able to keep away.

“You have a kid. It’s best to—”

“You like kids.” It was a guess, but there were gifts stacked under the tree, most of them wrapped in boy-themed Christmas packaging. SpongeBob and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, along with several covered in cowboys. He suspected those would be going to the two boys in the pictures on her table.

Brown eyes drilled him. “Of course I
like
kids. Most people like kids. But that doesn’t mean—”

“My kid is in Dallas,” he stated. “You and I are here. The two don’t have to merge.”

He held his breath as he waited for her reaction. That would be the smart way to play it. But he hadn’t been able to stop asking himself all kinds of questions for the last two days. He wanted to delve into this thing with Roni. He wanted to see if something was there.

“You aren’t exactly carefree,” she accused. “Not with a kid at home. That’s more than I signed up for.”

“And you aren’t exactly leading a simple beach-girl lifestyle.”

“Sure I am.”

He scanned his gaze purposely around the rooms. “You have a house large enough for a family here. Or two.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Do you regularly entertain overnight guests, then? Does someone use the spare bedrooms I know you must have in this place?”

She looked away from him again. “I like my space, is all. I spent years living out of hotels.”

That could be all there was to it, but he didn’t think so. His intuition told him there was way more to the story. And quite possibly, whatever it was had to do with why she’d walked away from her career.

“Listen, Roni,” he began. He moved away from her, needing to put some space between them. Stopping on the other side of the fireplace, he rested his hand on the mantel and turned back. “I’m not saying we have to take this anywhere more than the few days of fun we originally intended. But I am saying …” Fear almost choked off his air. He didn’t have faith in anyone sticking around for the hard times. He shouldn’t be
saying
anything.

“I’m saying,” he started again. “That I like you. I think you like me. I want to spend some time hanging out together. Getting to know each other. And if that were to turn into wanting even more … well …” He swallowed against the knot wedged painfully in his throat. “Then I might just want to see where that goes too.”

Roni blinked at Lucas. First he’d shown up at her house unannounced. Disrupted her day. Then he just put that out there like that?

He likes her. He wants to get to know her. And oh, by the way, he might just want more.

And she noticed that she wasn’t immediately screaming
no
herself.

“I don’t know, Lucas.” She wet her lips. She wanted to shove him out of her house. “I don’t do serious.”

“I don’t either.”

She nodded hesitantly, even more bewildered. Then they
were
on the same page?

“I also don’t introduce women to my daughter,” he stated.

Yet he’d introduced her. As a friend. But still. They’d met. They’d talked. He’d encouraged the conversation with the head nod toward the computer.

Was he implying she was already more than casual?

The funny thing was, she suspected she could say the same thing about him. Maybe it had been only when he’d scooped up Mrs. Rylander that morning that had done it. Or maybe it had been when he’d had the look in his eye that he knew he would soon be buying his daughter a dog.

He was a sweet guy. He cared about people.

She hadn’t had the chance to get to know a lot of sweet guys in her life.

She ached from the inside out and found herself wanting to step into his arms as she’d done that first night under the deck. He’d held her and asked no questions. She should have known then that he was different. She should have run right at that very moment.

But if they went back to that night, she would step into his arms again. Sometimes, a girl just needed to be held.

Clearly he wasn’t just casual. But she wasn’t quite sure what he was.

She lifted her gaze to his face and studied the hard planes. Six days ago she’d seen a good-looking man. A really hot, crazy-sexy man. Today she saw a good guy.

A dad. A caring person. A man who didn’t let little old ladies break their fool busybody necks. A man who smiled and laughed and enjoyed life.

A man just like she’d once imagined falling for her and Zoe.

Damn.

The back of her throat and nose burned with unshed tears as she met his azure gaze. “You can’t push me about the piano thing,” she demanded.

He gave a brief nod. “I won’t push about the piano thing.”

“And as far as I’m concerned, this is still just having fun. I don’t believe for a minute it’ll go anywhere else.” She glanced away from Lucas and her gaze fastened on the locked wooden box sitting on the bookshelf at the back of the room.

“We each have our own beliefs about that, I suppose.” His voice was deep and calm.

She swung back to him. “Do you really believe this could be more?” She paused, then whispered when her throat closed, “Do you want it to be more?”

His mouth moved as if intending to form words, but then his shoulders sagged and he blew out a harsh breath. He scraped a hand down over his face. “Honestly? No. Gracie and I are good. We don’t need anyone else. But I look at you, Roni, and …”

His deep gaze seemed to penetrate her skin and see into her soul. And her stupid soul was reaching out its greedy little hands, begging him to say he wanted more.

Goosebumps raised on her arms as she stood in front of him. She had no idea what to say. Or what she wanted to hear.

“I like that even though you would’ve rather kicked my butt back to the other side of the island when you saw me here,” he started, “you faced reality and knew we needed to talk. I like that you clearly have your ghosts to bear—and no, I’m not asking about them. Yet. But ghosts or not, they haven’t stopped you from living. You enjoy life, even while you hide from it at the same time. And you look at me like you want me to hold you, and it takes everything I have not to move mountains to do just that.”

She lowered her gaze to the ground. She did look at him that way.

Because she
did
want him to hold her.

“Roni,” he whispered. He was in front of her now and he reached out and lifted her face to his. “I like that you smiled and talked to my kid. I like that me having a kid scares you.”

“You like to scare me?” she asked. She really needed the moment to be lightened.

“You understand that being a father is a part of who I am.”

He saw parts of her that she didn’t show to the world too. And she kind of liked that herself. Even if she didn’t want to talk about it.

“This could be fun, Roni. Or this could be more.” His hand slipped over her jaw and his thumb caressed her cheek. His skin was rough against hers. It made her remember how his big hands had caressed her body in his bed.

“Say yes,” he urged. He cupped her cheek in his hand. “Let’s see what it is.”

Her heart thudded so hard she could feel it pounding in her ears. She searched over his hard jaw, trailing over the stubble. Her gaze edged over his thick lips and she thought about having them on her. It had been fun and good times she’d felt in his kiss, but even before she’d gotten out of bed yesterday morning, she’d understood that it had been more too. They’d connected when they’d talked.

Their lips had clung together as if they could hold on to something neither of them had seen yet.

Then she thought about the look on his face when he’d encouraged her to talk to Gracie.

He was as lonely as she was.

She lifted her eyes back to his. And nodded.

They would see where this would go whether either of them wanted to or not.

“I’ll come over tonight,” she suggested. “I’ll drive my car, though.” She didn’t want him getting in the habit of thinking he had to bring her home every morning.

“How about I come here?”

Oh geez. Her heart contracted. The man didn’t know when to stop.

“I get up and practice before dawn,” she said, hoping to discourage him.

“I’ll head back to the hotel to work.” The man didn’t discourage easily.

They stood there, both of them unmoving. Facing each other. Both wanting more, but terrified to believe they could get it.

And then she gave a final nod.

The hardness of his face eased and broke into a gentle smile.

She couldn’t believe she’d just agreed to … what? A relationship? A trial relationship?

Whatever it was, she found she actually wanted to do it.

She glanced down and looked at her hands. They were shaking again.

And then Lucas leaned in and brought his mouth ever so gently to hers.

Her hands quit shaking and she lifted them to capture his face.

His lips were soft. Almost hesitant. As if he were trying them out for the first time. He slid his hands into her hair and tilted her face up higher. Then he stepped closer and the heat of his body seared her from head to toe.

The kiss wasn’t like what they’d had before. This one said that it knew what it was doing. And what it was doing was starting something new and fresh. Something that could be special.

A knot twisted in her stomach at the idea of falling for Lucas and Gracie. What if she fell in love with them?

What if they got within her grasp but she couldn’t keep them?

She didn’t want her heart to be broken again. And she also knew that if she fell for one, she would fall for the other.

It was a really big risk.

Lucas’s lips released her and he pulled back. She opened her eyes and stared up at him. He hadn’t turned her loose, and she still had his face in her hands. They looked at each other in the middle of her living room, with her Christmas tree glowing on one side of them and her fireplace burning on the other. It was a warm, cozy scene. All she needed were three stockings hanging from her mantel.

She bit her lip at the thought.

Then she thought of Zoe.

She’d planned to give Zoe the best Christmas of her life.

Tears rolled from the corners of Roni’s eyes and dripped down to her ears.

“What is it?” Lucas asked. His tone was gentle. Letting her know she could talk to him, but he wouldn’t push.

She shook her head. She was terrified, but at the same time, a light burned inside her that she hadn’t felt in years. “Kiss me again,” she whispered. “We have time before we have to be at the convention center.”

His pupils dilated.

This time when his mouth met hers, it was harder. His tongue parted her lips without hesitation and heat swirled low inside her body.

She wanted him. And she wanted him right there in the middle of her house.

He roamed his hands down her back and then up and under her shirt. His skin burned where he touched her.

“Make love to me,” she whispered. She stepped into him and shivered at the feel of his hard erection pressing against her stomach.

He lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around him.

“The kitchen counter,” she muttered. She buried her face into the side of his neck and took a naughty little bite. He tasted of sweat and man. She wanted to taste him all over.

She lifted her head when he didn’t move toward the kitchen.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“You have stuff everywhere.”

She twisted around in his arms and took in the counter space. “Over there.” She motioned to the corner on the other side of the stove. “There’s plenty of space.”

When she looked back at him she laughed at the look on his face. She’d never seen a mix of heated desire and barely contained disgust together before.

“I promise it’s just a few dirty dishes.” She stroked a finger from his ear down over his strong, corded neck. She smoothed over the red spot where she’d nipped him. “I wipe down the counters and everything.”

He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what he was about to do, but his feet headed toward her kitchen. “You’re a mess.”

She laughed. “Just wait until you see my bedroom.”

His feet paused and he groaned. She laughed again.

Then she put her lips back to his neck and sucked on his heated skin. “I was coming out of the bathroom yesterday morning to tease you about your toiletries,” she murmured against him.

He plopped her down on the countertop and gripped the bottom of her shirt. In one motion, it was over her head and tossed to the floor.

“You’re really good at that,” she said. She peered around him to where her shirt had landed on the tile. “And it’s funny how you don’t seem to be the least bit fazed by a lack of tidiness when stripping me of my clothes.”

He unhooked the front clasp of her bra and peeled it from her shoulders. Her nipples said hello while her bra went flying.

“What about my toiletries?” he growled. A muscle ticked in his jaw as his gaze raked her over.

He put his hands around her waist, and she looked down at them. His thumbs touched just above her belly button. He tugged and her bottom scooted out farther on the counter. She spread her legs and he stepped closer.

She looked up at him then and the air around them thickened. His eyes were hooded, and instead of staring at her breasts, he was looking at her face.

“You line them up like little army men,” she whispered.

She wanted this, she realized. Not just the sex. But the man. The dream. She wanted to believe this could be something.

She wanted to believe in them.

“I’m efficient,” he told her. He caught her chin and lowered his head to hers.

The kiss was similar to the first one from that morning. He barely brushed his lips to hers before lifting away. Then he dipped and brushed again. This time he slipped inside and searched out her secrets. He explored her. Caressed.

He let her know that she wasn’t just sex.

So she showed him the same thing.

She lifted her hands and held his face in her palms, and she poured all of her hopes and fears into the kiss.

When they parted, both of them started at each other.

She nodded. He nodded back.

Then he scooped her up and headed down the hall.

“Which way to your bedroom?” he asked. He wasn’t asking permission, and she liked that about him.

As she lifted her arm to point out the right room, his phone rang from his pocket. He went still.

“
Shit
,” he ground out.

“What?”

“That’s the ringtone for Skype.”

Ah. Her ardor cooled. “Your daughter is calling.”

He nodded, his apologetic gaze steady on hers. “We talk every morning,” he explained.

“Then let me down,” she said. “You talk to your daughter, and I’m going to go shower.”

She slid down his body until she landed on her feet.

“I’ll make it short,” he said.

“No.” She shook her head. “You take your time. Your daughter needs her time with you. I’m going to shower.” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m kind of grungy anyway.”

He studied her, his phone now in his hand. “Can I join you when I’m finished?”

She glanced at his phone and then at the man. She had no idea what she was getting into, but she was plunging full-body into it. She nodded. “I was hoping you would.”