Hot Laps (27 page)

“What’s that tattoo on your shoulder for?”

“This one?” I lifted my sleeve to the princess fairy I had on my right shoulder. When
I was fourteen Nathan thought it’d be funny to tattoo my shoulder. Worst idea ever.
It was like this horrible stick figure fairy, too.

Hayden laughed. “No. The other shoulder.”

She was talking about the one I had done for Ryder last year.

“It’s for my dad’s friend,” I stopped myself. “My friend, Ryder Christensen.”

“The guy who was killed at Perris?”

I nodded. “Yeah, he was like my mentor in racing. My dad taught me a lot but he was
so busy with Cup all the time so that left Ryder. He was always heavy into USAC and
that’s all I raced.”

“But your brother, he doesn’t race USAC, right?”

“He used to but then when he was seventeen he started racing in the Outlaws. When
my grandpa Jimi retired he took over his ride.”

“And that number on your chest, that’s Jimi’s number?”

She was way more perceptive than I gave her credit for. “Yes, that’s his number.”

“Are you going to race again?”

“Yeah, I was thinking about it. That car in the corner of the shop is mine. Just gotta
get it going.”

I stared out the window, trying to make heads or tails of my thoughts about that Chili
Bowl race when she scooted closer to me and into my side.

For a while, I thought I’d never race again but the thought of never getting in a
car again was sad to me. I knew I needed to step away for a while, and now the time
had come where I wanted that part of me back. In fact, part of me understood that
I might have quit for the very same reason why I told myself I wanted to go back.
It wasn’t the same anymore.

The last three years I’d spent doing nothing but working at the shop while my family
was on the road. I missed that. I missed my family.

My brother had two kids now and another one due in September. I hadn’t seen Jack since
Christmas and Jonah, their youngest, same deal. They were growing up and didn’t even
get to see their uncle. That sucks.

My sister, we were always so close and now she was off traveling the Cup series with
Easton. No one barely saw her anymore.

My parents, same deal. I saw them more than the others because I was still living
in their house but a good part of me felt like I saw Rosa the most.

I loved Rosa, but still, I wanted to be with everyone. I’m a very family-oriented
kind of person.

But, in part, it was deeper than just being with my family. There was this feeling
I got inside a race car and only inside a race car. A feeling I knew my dad and brother
understood.

“Let’s play a game,” Hayden said drawing me back to her.

“Okay, what game?”

“Top ten favorites …” she suggested, then added, “I’ll ask first.” And then dove right
into her questions. “Favorite food?”

“Steak.” That was a tough one. I loved steak but crab was a favorite, too.

“Person?”

“My mom.”

“Memory?”

I took a moment to consider her question. “Being in the pits at the Chili Bowl Midget
Nationals when my brother won for the first time.”

Hayden’s lips quirked into a soft smile. “Day?”

“Tuesdays.”

“Why?”

“I have dinner with my grandma every Tuesday night.”

Hayden smiled again, this time it was a sincere one and touched her eyes.

Looking back at the road I waited for her to ask another one.

“Race?”

“Chili Bowl.” I nodded. “I love the talent it draws.”

“Idol?”

“My dad believe it or not. He’s always so level-headed. Even when he’s pissed at me,
he always knows what to say. But with his racing, there’s just something about it
that you can see in him. I’ve never known anyone to put that much of themselves into
anything. He kind of has this awe about him that makes you want to be half as good
at anything as he is.”

I looked over at Hayden just then, her eyes had a slight mist to them.

When I was finished talking, she sat up straighter and pulled her hair into a messy
bun. “Okay … about to get serious.”

“Position?”

I had to think about that one for a minute, and then decided on one we hadn’t done
yet. “Doggie style.”

“Of course you’d say that,” she laughed shaking her head.

“Body part?”

“Ass.”

“Blonde or brunette?”

Moving my hand from the back of the seat, I trailed my fingertips over the back of
her neck. “Blonde … until two weeks ago. Now I’ll never go back.”

That earned me a giggle as she turned her head to bite my hand when I pulled at her
bun.

Fixing her hair, she prepared for her last question and directed me a serious but
goofy expression. “Song?”

“Lay You Down by Sam Grow.”

“Nice.” Hayden gave me a wink, satisfied with my answers.

Relaxing, she turned again and faced me in the seat curling her legs up on the seat
once more. It was slightly distracting because about ten minutes ago she said her
jeans were too constricting and took them off. Now she was in her panties and one
of my hoodies.

She looked fucking adorable.

Before I could get completely distracted, I really wanted to know her answers to this
game. “Favorite food?”

“Mexican.”

“Person?”

She chewed on her lip tipping her head back and forth, deciding. “Anna.”

“Memory?”

“Actually, I don’t have one. But,” she paused, her eyes taking on a playful edge.
“Our first time is right there now.”

“Okay, well then, before we met then?”

Concentrating on her fingers, she smiled. “Monday mornings when I would go over to
Tate’s shop and hang out with him. He used to tell me stories about your dad.”

“He did?”

“Yeah.” Her head rested on her knees now. I could see it in her eyes she was starting
to get tired. “Tate was kind of always the cool uncle so when my parents were being
assholes, I’d go over to his shop and hang out with him. He always talked highly of
Jameson.”

“They’ve always been good friends.”

“Day?”

“The day I brought Sampson home from the grocery store.”

I frowned, holding back my smile. With sarcasm, I said. “And we both know how that
ended …”

“Stupid fucking fish.”

Laughing, I asked, “Idol?”

She frowned. “Haley.”

“It’s noble of you to think that, you know?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re seeing past what she’s made out to be. It sounds like deep down she
was your best friend growing up but your parents ruined it for you by idolizing her
and not you, equally, as it should have been.”

That reply earned me a kick to my legs resulting in me jerking the wheel. Luckily
no one was in the other lane

“What was that for?”

She shook her head, a look of guilt taking over. “I hate how right you always are.”

“Naturally.”

Hayden turned and rolled down the window letting the cool spring morning inside.

“What are you doing?”

“Making room for your head. It’s suffocating me.”

I slumped my shoulders pretending to be hurt by her remark. That did nothing.

“Alright,” I chuckled pulling her back over to me and rolling up the window. “Position?”

She snuggled against my lap kicking her legs out on the seat. “This one right here.”

I let my hand drop from the seat again and to her perfect stomach. Slowly I crept
my hand under the sweatshirt to her soft skin and toyed with the edge of her panties.
As softly as I could I ran my fingers over the black fabric. “Body part?”

Her hands raised from her sides and to my arms, her touch just as light as mine. “Arms.
They hold you, support you, and give you strength to lift yourself up.”

“So do legs.”

“But arms are different. Legs can do everything your arms can but they do it in a
more loving manner.”

Right then, I knew there was way more to Hayden than what meets the eye. So much more.

Her eyes were drifting shut, barely open as her breathing turned lighter and I knew
soon she was going to fall asleep on me. “One more?”

“Hmmm …”

“Song?”

““Baby Got Back.” She giggled curling into the back of the seat.

Not ten minutes later she was snoring in my lap.

I’m not going to lie, her head was exactly where I wanted it but to wake her would
be rude, right?

I learned after seven hours, Hayden had the ability to fall asleep at the drop of
a hat. Drove me crazy because I have never had that ability. I could never quiet my
thoughts that easily.

My thoughts went back to racing.

As the sun began to rise and we drove through Mississippi, I thought more about the
Chili Bowl and decided maybe it was time to get working on that car and catch a few
midget races.

I hadn’t been inside of a car on a track since Terre Haute when I was eleven. I’d
say I was a little rusty for sure.

Racing isn’t a solo act. It can’t be. I learned that early on and I knew had I said
the word, I’d have the support. When you race, you show up at a track with your helmet
and you get inside a car. Suddenly, you are alone.

And then being alone, inside that car, it starts to define you because despite being
around your team, it comes down to only you. It comes down to the choices you’re about
to make, your hands, your responses and the guys around you.

You’re rubbing up against other drivers, guys who deserve a win a little more than
you, but it all comes down to you.

Sometimes I wonder if I even know who I am and what’s happened to me over the years.
My family has suffered some tragic loses, some harder than others, and they’ve changed
the way we live our lives. I knew that even ten minutes from now wasn’t guaranteed.

That way of thinking slowly changes you. It changes, and teaches you to think differently.

I looked down at Hayden once more and smiled. She changed my way of thinking and she
didn’t even know it. I like to think, as I said, I’m the type of guy who sees shit
for what it was.

I can’t stomach the bullshit of constantly guessing what is or isn’t.

But Hayden, she’s quirky like that. She keeps you guessing.

I have this feeling, it’s like I’ve always known her. And really, I have, but I didn’t
know this side of her.

Drag – Resistance a driver will feel when passing through air at higher speeds.

Once we were on the road, somewhere outside of Jackson, Mississippi, I felt like Casten
could have been soulmate for traveling. I’m not much of a talker just for the sake
of talking. When I did talk, I had something to say.

Casten was the same way.

Most of the trip we said very little to one another other than that first burst of
energy when we got on the road and played our ten favorites.

We stopped somewhere outside of Ruston, Louisiana, so Casten could rest for a few
hours and then it was on to Texas. I had no idea how he could operate on such little
sleep.

To pass the time we listened to music. While we agreed on most music, like our love
for old school rap, Casten loved country.

I didn’t love it as much as he did.

We were half way through Big & Rich “Save A Horse” song when I felt something touch
my foot. Not knowing what it was, I looked down and didn’t see anything.

Casten noticed I seemed on edge and turned the radio down and heard the strangest
noise I’ve ever heard.

We both looked at each other immediately wondering what that popping sound was.

That’s when I saw a fucking snake.