Hot Water (27 page)

Her words, themselves, don’t hurt me. I know they’re wrong. No, I’ve never been mature, the way she is, but if maturity is being angry and buttoned up all the time, like she is, no thanks. And I see Caden. I might not be mature, but the one thing that’s solidified in my head is what he feels about me. At least, what he felt about me when I left his apartment two hours ago. But . . . now that the rumors are out, now that they’re hurting him . . . what will he do? He’d said he didn’t care, and I know that was the truth. I just have to believe that he’s strong enough to keep that way, no matter how bad things might get.

“All this time, I thought you were doing so well,” she continues. “You were excited to come to work. You seemed to be happy, and Caden Williams kept telling me how well you were doing. I thought you were finally learning that there was something out there besides surfing. Something worthwhile. And now I find out it was all a lie. That he thought you were so good, but in other ways. Unbelievable.”

I cringe. “That’s not true. I liked work. I was good at it. I only . . . we only decided to . . .” I stop. I can’t carry on with this, tell her the private details about what Caden and I did this weekend. It’s just too weird to have to explain to her. And it’s clear that any explanation will not be enough.

She buries her face in her hands.

For the first time, I notice a piece of paper in front of her. “What is that?”

“My resignation,” she says. “I cannot stand around idly why people talk about my daughter like a cheap slut. Even if they let that monster go, I can’t stay there.”

“Mom,
what
?” All I can hear is my heartbeat in my ears. “You’re resigning, and Caden’s about to lose his job?
Over me
? Oh, my God, mom. This is so stupid!”

“I wish you realized that before you spread your legs for him,” she mutters. Her words hit me like a slap in the face. Then she stands and walks to the closet. She pulls out the big suitcase, the one we’ve never really had a reason to use. She hands it to me. “Pack your things. You are officially your father’s daughter now. And he can take care of you.”

The tears sting my eyes as she pushes me into my room and begins unloading all of my belongings into it.

“I want you out of here tonight,” she says.

The rest of the evening is a blur. I text Caden, but he never answers. Mechanically, I put all my belongings into that big suitcase, and close it up, then heft it across the street to the train station, wondering what kind of ticket I should buy. It’s so late that the train station is deserted, and I’m the only one on the platform. After looking up and down the line for a few minutes, it suddenly hits me. I’m just like my father. I recklessly chased the thing I wanted most, and it ruined me and everyone I love. It’s only then that I collapse on the bench and begin to sob.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Caden

“I’m very sorry, Mr. Williams,” another one of my father’s employees says to me. I’ve been told it about a thousand times today, and though I know they mean well, I just want everyone to shut the fuck up.

I’m officially the last of the Williams clan. I have no one.

I spend the evening with Mr. Vally, my father’s attorney, going over the details of his estate. There are so many details, my head spins. It’s all who is getting what and what plans he had for this and that and I just don’t care.

My phone dings again. Another message from Cicily.
Please tell me you’re okay. I’m worried about you.

I can’t answer her. Because I’m not sure I am okay.

He always thought I was shit. But my father died thinking I was worse than shit. They said it was cardiac arrest. He’d been livid the last time I saw him. And I can’t get it out of my head that he died
because
of me, that if I hadn’t stomped all over his plans for me, he’d still be among the living. I almost feel like, if it hadn’t been for me, every member of my family would still be alive.

“It’s late, Mr. Williams,” Vally says to me, handing me a stack of papers. “If you go on home, we can discuss the arrangements for his funeral in the morning.”

I nod and rub my eyes. “Thank you, Vally.”

Karl is waiting in the limo. He tells me again that he is sorry. I’ve known Karl since I was a teenager, but I would punch him if he wasn’t driving me home. I don’t even know what time it is. It feels like ages since I left Cicily, since we were together.

The phone rings. It’s Rhys. “What?” I say.

“Nice greeting, man,” he says. “I’m checking in on you.”

“Are you fucking Andrea?” I ask without pretense.

There’s a pause. “Look, man. I’m calling to check on you. As a friend.”

His sidestepping that question tells me all I need to know. “Cut the friend shit.”

“Man. You need to calm down. We’ve been through a lot of crazy shit. But we’ve stayed friends through it all.”

“Until now.”

“Come on, Cade.”

“No
come on
, Rhys. I’m done with you.”

He pauses. “Man, what difference does it make who I fuck around with? You’ve known me forever. It doesn’t mean anything to me, and you know it.”

Right
. “I don’t care that you’re fucking Andrea. I’m done with her. I care that you’re a lying, backstabbing shit who can’t stand to see me have anything you don’t have.”

A longer pause. “All right, man. Then you should know. The board is having a meeting at nine tomorrow morning. They were going to make the decision at the meeting you missed today. But I persuaded them to wait until you were there. You need to be there.”

I grind my teeth. “I’ll be there.”

“And Cade. You need to be at the top of your game. If you’re not . . .”

“I got it,” I mutter, pressing the End Call button.

#

The next morning, I’m waiting in my best three-piece suit, outside the conference room, like it’s the fucking dentist’s office. Actually, the dentist’s office would be a pleasure compared to this. I’m hanging around the lobby of my own fucking building, waiting for people to decide my fate at the company that bears my fucking name. Unreal.

The door opens. Cricks, one of the board members lets me in, a somber look on his face. I can’t tell if it’s because my father is dead, or because he knows I have no chance at this company anymore.

There’s a big, glaringly empty spot at the head of the table. I focus on it as I go in, so as not to see the similar stares of the other board members. But then I think of how if he were here, he’d be calling me a fuck-up again, and I do it . . . I let my eyes meet each of theirs.

And yes, they all look like they’re practicing for my dad’s funeral. The only one who isn’t is Bouvier, who pre-dates my father by twenty years. He’s off in his own world, mumbling to himself. I nod to each of the men, pull back the chair closest to the door, and sit down.

Cricks says, “We’re all sorry for your loss,” and I fight back the urge to stab them all with my pen as they nod similar perfunctory condolences.

“Thank you,” I say. I raise my eyes and meet Rhys’s. He purses his lips, his face grave. Asshole.

Cricks says, “You understand our situation, Mr. Williams. We are in the difficult spot right now of having to select a new CEO after your father’s unfortunate passing. Up until recently we were assured that you were that person. But recently, there have been doubts.”

I nod. “I understand.”

“We were prepared to make a decision that was not in your favor yesterday. But Mr. Bradley convinced us that you should plead your case.”

Rhys nods seriously, and clasps his hands under his chin, which was one of my father’s signature moves. Fucker. He thinks he’s the saint for convincing them to hear my case, but I know him too well. He thinks I have no chance. He only wanted them to bring me in so he could watch me squirm, watch me fight for my life, which will make it all the sweeter when they name
him
CEO. As much as he tries to stone his face, I see that sly smile. He’s enjoying this.

“So we ask you to now plead your case. Do you think you are fit to lead Williams and Williams as your father has?”

“Yes, I do,” I begin, rising to my feet. Time to bring out the speech I’d stayed up all night, reciting to myself. I know it better than my own name, now. It’s full with cliches that my father had been pounding into my skull all my life, hardnosed things like
Don’t let anyone fuck with you
and
Take the bull by the horns
, but it’s what these guys like to hear. They want to hear I’m focused on the business, and only the business. I’ve dealt successfully with them for a year, and I know how they tick. “Like I—“

Bouvier interrupts. “I hope we can make this speedy. It’s my wife’s and my seventieth wedding anniversary.”

I turn to him. “Yes, I understand, sir.” I start to speak, but then I remember my manners. “Happy anniversary.”

The rest of the men nod similar congratulations, which sound remarkably similar to the condolences just offered me. Robertson says, “Man, seventy years? How do you manage that?”

Bouvier grins. “I met my bride when I was in elementary school. We married when we were sixteen. She set my whole world on fire, and I’ve never been the same since.”

“No shit?” Robertson says.

Cricks says, “Continue, Mr. Williams.”

I stare at the fragile little man, and something suddenly clicks in my head.

 “Mr. Williams?”

I’m startled out of my thoughts. I smile. Because suddenly, that speech I prepared seems like shit. It’s all a bunch of stupid platitudes. The truth, however, is much more real.

And there’s nothing wrong with it.

“Yes. I’m sorry.”

I push my chair back under the table. “First, I want to say that I know the ins and outs of this company, and when my father had his stroke, I took control and gave us three of our most successful quarters on record. That should not be forgotten. I understand that you are not happy with my conduct of late. That I’ve been acting erratically. That I’ve been missing meetings. And I understand that there have been rumors about me. But I want to set the record straight.” I pause, looking at every one of them, stopping at Rhys. I can’t believe I’m really going to say it until the words are out in the open. “The rumors are true. I’ve been involved with an intern. Her name is Cicily Chase, and she’s nineteen years old.”

Rhys drops his chin down to his chest and shakes his head slowly, and the men exchange worried glances.

“But here’s the thing. Why have I been acting erratically? I’ve been grappling with something I’ve never dealt with before. I know right now, without a doubt, what is right for me. But unfortunately, I knew it would not meet with the board’s approval . . . and that’s been causing me a lot of distress. You should all know that for the past few years, I’ve never let my personal life intermingle with business… but this was unavoidable.” I swallow. “This is love.”

They exchange those worried glances again.

“It’s the first time I’ve felt it, and it’s the most glorious fucking feeling in the world. So I’m sorry if I went a little off-kilter, or even a lot off-kilter, but I’m in love with her, and love does that. But I’m going to marry her. Maybe not when she’s a teenager, like you did, Mr. Bouvier,” I speak directly to him, raising my voice so it makes it through his hearing aid. “But I will. And I’m sorry, but I don’t give a fuck what any of you assholes say. There’s nothing wrong with what I feel for her. Because it’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt. I only wish all of you assholes can feel that way, just once in your life, too.”

The men just stare. I’m encouraged, though, that they’re no longer muttering under their breath and exchanging worried glances.

“But you know what? That’s not what matters to Williams & Williams. What difference does it make who I love? So this is the deal. I am not giving up on this company. It’s been in my family for a hundred years and I’m not fucking walking away. I’ve given it three of its best quarters on record and I’ll give it a hundred more, if you let me. If you can find your way to let me continue to run Williams & Williams, I promise that I will not let anyone down. If you don’t fuck with my private life . . . I will not let anyone fuck with us.”

I give the chair a hard shove and nod to each of the men.

Then I remember my manners. “Thank you.”

Bull by the horns, nobody’s fucking with me. And I storm out of the office, an odd spring in my step, with the feeling that even if I will never make the old man proud, even if I’ll never amount to anything in his book, at least I might have inherited the best of his traits.

 Chapter Thirty

Cicily

I sleep and sleep at my dad’s house, so long that in the early afternoon, he comes into my room and says, “Are you okay?”

I know it’s late when my dad is up.

“I’m fine.” I sit up in bed and nod, wiping my blotchy and swollen face. I’d come in after midnight when my dad was already passed out drunk in front of the television, so I’d quietly crept into my bedroom and cried the night away, thinking of Caden, and what he must be going through.

He’d never texted me. I texted him a hundred times, asking if he was okay, but nothing.

And I have no one to talk to about this. Bow is three-thousand miles away, enjoying college. I should be thinking of school, because it’s only a day until classes. It’s a new, big chapter in my life, and yet, all I want to do now is close the book.

Maybe I don’t belong in his life. He has every reason to think I’m the biggest mistake he’s ever made. I cost him his job. He was with me, fucking me, when he should have been with his dying father. When he could have been at that emergency board meeting, saving himself.

I’ve fully destroyed him. How could I do that, when all I wanted was to be good to him? He has every right to think I’m evil, part of that bad luck that seems to follow him around. And I don’t blame him if he never talks to me again. Maybe I’m doomed to be the kind of girl that guys sleep with once, and forget. And after what I did to my mother’s career, maybe that’s what I deserve.