How Cassie Got Her Grind Back (31 page)

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Authors: Heather Rainier

Tags: #Romance

BOOK: How Cassie Got Her Grind Back
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Ivan nudged Cassie, and in his best Albus Dumbledore impression, he said, “‘Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light’.”

In the pitch-black, Tamara squealed and said, “
Fam
! I took you for a
Muggle
!”

Samson groaned in the darkness and muttered, “Oh no, here we go again.”

Ivan quipped, “So says the frequent quirky quoter of Monty Python humor.”

Samson snorted, and in a reedy voice with an obnoxious English accent, he warbled, “We are no longer the Knights Who Say Ni! We are now the Knights Who Say….Ekki-ekki-ekki-ekki-ptang-zoom-
boing
!’”

Delicia groaned from her recliner in the corner as Ivan, Joseph, and Samson bantered back and forth and murmured, “
Ay, Madre di Dios
! Not another one.”

Through his laughter, Joseph quoted Graham Chapman in kind. “‘You must find…
another shrubbery
!’”

The lights flickered on, and he looked over at Cassie as she cast a gaze, which was teary from laughter, around her living room. When he tilted his head down to her, she said, “I was holding on to this house because I thought it was the right thing to do for the kids, to preserve the home they grew up in, but I see now that this—” She gestured at their group, including him and his brother. “This is my home. Not the walls, windows, or doors. All the people I love are my home. What should I sing for you?” she asked as she began tuning the guitar.

“Can I make a request?” Delicia asked. “Do you remember singing ‘O Holy Night’ at the Christmas concert in Central Park back when you were in high school? Just you and your guitar. It was so lovely. Sing that one for us,
mi
hija.

Tamara perched on the arm of Delicia’s chair, cozied up to her grandmother, while Joseph came in from the kitchen and sat on the nearby ottoman as Cassie strummed a few chords, reacquainting herself with the melody.

With fingers gracefully sweeping across the strings, she swayed slowly and the beautiful old song flowed from her. Her voice had matured, her pure, dulcet tones now woven with the huskiness of life experience as she sang.

“O holy night! The stars are brightly shining…”

Ivan blinked and swallowed as tears clogged his sinuses and throat. Maybe he was just a sap, but he recalled there’d been not a dry eye in the crowd that night so many years ago, and it was the same this night as she sang for those she loved.

“Oh, Mom…” Tamara whispered with the closing notes and sniffled as she wiped beneath her eyes. “I remember you singing that to us at Christmastime when we were itty-bitty.”

Joseph got up and gave her a hug and hoarsely said, “It’s just like how I remembered, Mom.”

Cassie sniffled, too, and said, “You’re going to make me all weepy if you don’t stop that now. How about something cheery for the holidays? Ah, I know!”

He added his voice to hers as she sang “Auld Lang Syne” and she grinned as Samson even burbled along in his gruff, deep voice and was joined by the others.

Looking around the room, Ivan agreed in his heart with her earlier words. Family wasn’t just blood, any more than a home was a building with walls and windows.
All the people I love are my home
.
My family
.

 

* * * *

 


Ooooh
boy,” Cassie murmured the following night as she surveyed the expanse of the main club floor at Hazelle House. The energizing throb of bass drums and thrum of guitars provided the backdrop for the raspy vocals, and set the mood in the dimly lit BDSM club.

Joseph Hazelle chuckled at Cassie’s side while patting the hand she’d wrapped tightly around his crooked elbow. “Did you think Black Friday shopping would keep most members away from the club?”

She looked up at him and said, “Bunny was right about you. You
are
a mind reader. Speaking of Bunny, where is she? I thought she’d be helping with the tour.”

Joseph chuckled and then cleared his throat. “Unfortunately, she’s enjoying a little comeuppance at the moment. We’ll catch up with her in a bit. Right now, I’d like to walk you around this floor and then give you a look at the dungeon.”

“This isn’t the dungeon?” she asked, pointing at the stations set up around the perimeter of the club, where numerous people were crowding around. Some were clad in dark suits, many in sexy fetish costumes, some in black street clothing, and others completely nude. The press of bodies wasn’t as intimidating as the number of looks she was getting from members after they nodded at Joseph.

“Oh no, there are a number of play areas set up along the walls, but this floor comprises the main sitting area, the dance floor, food and drink stations, and the bar. It’s a good area to negotiate scenes and warm up to more involved play before visiting the dungeon and then a good place to cool down afterward.”

“More involved play?”

Joseph’s smile was genuine. “Do you feel as though you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole and just found a bottle with a note attached that says, ‘Drink me’?”

“That’s exactly it, Sir.” She was proud this time she’d remembered to address him appropriately for the club setting.

“Thank you, Cassie. You would be a delight to any Dom. You’re my guest, and my friend, as well as my wife’s, but even more importantly, you’re precious to one of the lead members in this club—as well as to his brother. The burden is on me to help you feel, if not quite comfortable, at least at home here. No one will bother you or be inappropriate.”

“Want to know what I’m most worried about?”

“Tell me.”

“That I might offend someone if I react to…whatever they’re doing.”

“You’re with me, and you don’t need to worry. At some point in their journeys, many of the club members you’re watching have had the same expression on their faces,” he said with a chuckle as he waved her toward an arrangement of plush love seats and overstuffed chairs. “Let’s have a seat and talk while you observe the room and settle in a bit, perhaps?”

“That sounds perfect. There’s so much going on, I don’t want to rush through here and miss something and then have questions later that I didn’t think to ask.”

“Of course. I noticed you drinking a wine spritzer at Violet’s wedding. Would you like one to settle your nerves?”

“Sure, if it’s permissible.”

He whispered to the dark-haired submissive who came when he waved. She nodded and hurried away. Turning back to Cassie, he said, “We have a two-drink limit, and members who come to play usually refrain until after their scenes are over and they’re winding down.”

“That sounds like a good rule to have in place.”

“The safety of the subs and all the members is always my uppermost concern.”

“So you were saying members can come in and sit and just hang out for the evening?”

“Yes. There’s no rule requiring them to use the play areas. They can come and enjoy the company of other people who appreciate the same things they do. In that sense, it’s much the same as the Dancing Pony. Our members just enjoy a side of BDSM in their leisure time.”

“I was surprised to find out Samson was a prominent member of the club, mostly because we had friends in common and didn’t even realize the connection.”

“Does it surprise you he is Dominant and a sadist?” Joseph asked, relaxing in his chair and crossing his ankle over his knee as if he was talking about the price of coffee beans.

She gulped. “Well, when we were growing up, I acknowledged early on that Samson enjoyed being in charge. He was a good leader and a lot of our classmates respected him. I appreciated that I never had to wonder what we were going to do on a date. He’d make plans, and we’d have fun. To be honest, that was something I admired about him. His brother was a nice complement to him, too. Ivan was never a flunky, and he had his input, but once the plan was made, off we went. I think his decisiveness kind of irritated my dad, to be honest,” she added with a giggle.

Joseph listened intently the whole time she babbled on, nodding and chuckling. “That sounds like him around here as well. A submissive would value that quality highly in a Dominant. I’d worry if you told me it irked you that he liked to be in control.”

She shook her head. “I don’t have any doubt about the fact I have a submissive personality, Sir. My biggest worry is the other side of his lifestyle. The sadism. I tried to research it, but you know how the Internet is. I wound up scaring myself more than informing myself.”

“It’s a complicated issue, Cassie. I’ll strive to help you arrive at the answers you need, but I want you to remember one thing, no matter what.”

“What’s that?”

“At his core, the Samson you know is the real Samson. That part of him has been there the whole time.”

“What you’re saying is to a certain extent I’ve already accepted that part of him?”

“Yes. It’s just the outer, edgy expression of that side of his nature intimidating you.”

She sat back. “I think I understand. And you’re right. I’m concerned what I see tonight may ruin what we have. That it’ll be too much—too scary—and it’ll jeopardize everything we are together.” She met his sympathetic gaze. “It could be ruined, all in one night.”

Joseph took her cold hand and squeezed it comfortingly between his. “I place a high value on Samson’s friendship, and I know he’s been in a state of turmoil since reconnecting with you. I think he shares your worry. But we humans are complicated creatures, constantly changing and growing. Did you know he told me he’d give up sadism, being a Dom, the whole nine yards to be with you?”

“Ivan mentioned it one night, after our confrontation at the Dancing Pony. I think he wanted to reassure me.”

“I imagine he did.”

“But, Joseph, how would that be fair to him?”

Approval shone in his eyes at her question. “You feel such turmoil yourself, but that very question, coming from you, is the reason I’m optimistic.”

He spent the next few minutes discussing how to negotiate soft limits, hard limits, and safe words, how they were used in the club, and then said, “Samson isn’t here yet and likely won’t be until later after he gets done with work in town. Until then, I want to acquaint you with the play and techniques employed by some of the other club sadists. If you become more at ease, you can also watch Samson, if members request time with him tonight. I’m not even sure if he would be willing since he knows you’re here. I think he’s hoping knowledge might empower you and make what sadism involves more palatable before he lets you watch him in a scene.”

“Was that your idea?”

He shook his head. “I think you’re made of stronger stuff than that, but I respect his protectiveness of you.”

Cassie giggled. “A protective sadist. I’m never gonna figure out this world.”

Joseph chuckled along with her. “I have great confidence in you, Cassie. Consider that maybe facing all of these new experiences, the things you may be afraid of right now are just the things that might set you free.” He looked over her shoulder, squinted a little, and then nodded and a positively evil smile came over his face.

Joseph rose from his seat and held out a hand to her. “I need to check on a sassy submissive. I’d love to have your company—if you’re brave enough.”

Her eyebrows shot up. “Brave enough?”

He cocked an elbow for her and said, “Tell me, in your reading research, did you happen upon any examples of orgasm torture?”

Say what?

“I’ll allow the adorable expression on your face to speak for you,” he said, amusement lacing his strong baritone voice. “You’ve probably read about Doms torturing their sub with pleasure, giving her orgasm after orgasm.”

“I—I saw a video with a Dom who tied his sub to a cross and attached a positively demonic-looking vibrator to the harness she was wearing so she couldn’t get away from the stimulation. I also watched a video with a woman…um…stimulating a man’s prostate while massaging his genitals…”
Is it just me or are my cheeks on fire?
“And she would bring him to the edge but wouldn’t let him have an orgasm for a long time. When she finally let him come, he howled until he lost his voice. I can’t believe I just confessed out loud that I’ve watched porn.”

Joseph patted her hand and leaned toward her so no one would overhear him. “You don’t need to worry about watching your language in here, Cassie. No one will be offended. You were understandably sympathetic to the subs in those videos, but try to imagine being on the giving end in such scenarios. Giving your sub so much pleasure they practically pass out and lose their voice. Now, you brought up the orgasm denial video, and that’s exactly the point I wanted to explain. What did you think of it?”

“I sympathized for him by the time she finally let him come because he had to wait so long while she played with him. But I was also watching her face and it was obvious she wasn’t doing what she did to mistreat him. Toy with him, absolutely. But he looked at her as if she was a goddess when he finally came to his senses, and she looked pleased, too.”

“Excellent. The sassy submissive I mentioned is your good friend, Bunny. She took fiendish delight in playing a prank on me this weekend, and she’d been enjoying my wrath for the last two hours.”

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