How It Rolls (32 page)

CHAPTER TWO

“I’ll meet you as soon as I finish,” Saylan said.

“Don’t be late. I can’t wait to share our news with everyone when we’re back on
Vesturon.”

“Neither can
I.  Do you think your family will be pleased?”

“They love you, not nearly as much as I do, but they will be thrilled, especially
Maddie.  She will pride herself on her matchmaking skills.”

Saylan
laughed.  He adored her laugh.  It did something to him he’d never experienced before.  Turned him into jelly and brought him to his knees.  If she’d have asked him to move a mountain, and then laughed afterwards, he’d have found a way to do it.

“You know
Maddie will be gloating over this, don’t you?  I can already picture her.”

“I can live with that, as long as you’re part of the package.  Now be safe and finish up.  I don’t want you to miss that transport.  I miss your lovely face already. 
And Saylan?”

“Yes?”

“You’re mine and I love you.”

“I love you too
Xarrid.”

“I have to go, but I’ll see you in a few hours.”  He bent toward her, intending to kiss her, but her face began to fade away, like it always did.

“NO! Don’t leave me! Stay this time! Please don’t go Saylan!” he screamed.

Xarrid
woke with a start, tangled in the sheets, covered in sweat.

He sat up and wiped his face, brushing the tears off his cheeks.  He’d had this recurring dream for months, remembering the last time he’d talked with
Saylan when he told her he loved her. Then she disappeared, like she always did.  He’d driven himself crazy in his search for her.  He’d never give up until he found her.

Dragging his hands through his thick waves, he threw off the bed covers, strode to the windows and stared across the dark landscape of
Vesturon.  His soul knew she still lived.  Vesturions were like that.  Their souls were attached to those of the ones they loved.  They could feel it when they lost a loved one.  When his brother Therron was killed, Xarrid felt his soul had been wrenched from his body, and left him battered and bleeding for months.  He still hadn’t healed from that, and Saylan’s disappearance had just poured an extra heaping of vinegar on his raw flesh, burning it like acid.  It burned every day.  He expected it would forever, unless he found her.  He slammed his hand against the window sill and groaned.  Why couldn’t he get some sign, some small signal where she was being held?  Filling his lungs with air, he released it and shuddered as he dropped to his knees and let his anguish flow.  The tears gushed like a torrent, as they usually did, and he had long ago quit trying to stop them for he knew it was useless to do so.  This had become his nightly ritual, and in the morning, he would awaken, curled up in a tight knot, stiff with swollen eyes from the tears he’d shed.

This is how
Maddie, his sister-in-law, found him the next morning.  Knocking on his door just after dawn, she entered, calling his name.

“
Xarrid? It’s Maddie.  Are you still asleep?”  When she didn’t receive an answer, she walked to his bed and noticed the rumpled up sheets.  Her eyes landed on a heap by the window and she moved over to find him balled up on his side, asleep.  She reached out her arm and gently touched his shoulder.

“
Xarrid?  Wake up, it’s Maddie.”

He lifted his lids, and looked at her oddly, trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together.  “What’s going on?”

“Why are you on the floor?”

His face instantly flamed and he felt the heat of embarrassment that she should find him in this state.  The confusion was quickly replaced by a mask of anger, for he was ashamed that she should discover him in such a pitiful state.

Sitting up, he acidly replied, “I don’t think that’s any of your business.  Besides, when did you decide my bedroom had an open door policy for you?”

Maddie
looked at him, assessing him.  She knew him well, but more importantly she understood his grief.  She had dealt with her own issues when she’d lost both of her parents as a teenager.  Xarrid was hiding and she was tired of him burying his grief.

She crouched down in front of him and said, “I know what you’re doing and it isn’t working.  Look at yourself.  You’re a wreck
Xarrid.  It’s obvious you can’t sleep.  You probably have dreams or even nightmares every night.  You have to talk to someone.  Please.  Come back to us.  We’re your family and we love you.  We only want to help.”

Xarrid
looked at Maddie and she thought her heart would break from the pain mirrored in his eyes.  He looked away and stared at the wall.  She saw his lower lip tremble and she took a chance and whispered, “I love her too Xarrid and I miss the hell out of her.  Why can’t we help each other get through this?”

He turned to her and was in her arms before she could even think of how it happened.  She couldn’t hear his sobs, but she felt his entire body shuddering from the force of them.  The dam had burst and
Maddie wasn’t sure how long it would take for the lake behind it to empty.  It didn’t matter though, for she was prepared to stay with him until he stopped needing her to be there.

“I can feel her soul
Maddie,” he cried.  “I know she still lives, but I worry about how and where.  Are they torturing her?  Is she cold at night?  Does she have enough to eat? Is she thirsty?  Does she call out for me? Does she think I’ve abandoned her? I feel so bloody helpless.  What the hell could have happened to her?”

“I know
Xarrid.  I’ve asked myself the same things.  I wish we could find her.  But if you still feel her soul, that must mean something.  That must mean she’s getting food and water.  Someone is taking care of her.”

“Then why isn’t she calling to me?  She hasn’t even tried.  My mind waves to her are unanswered.  I’m blocked at every turn, or there’s nothing there.”

“Same here.  The telepathic waves are shut down.  I don’t know Xarrid, but you need to keep talking to us.  We’re all worried about you.  We can’t be worried about Saylan and you at the same time.”

He rubbed his face, drying the tears from them.  “My mind is so bloody messed up right now, I can barely think straight.”

She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it.  “I know.  We all have noticed Xarrid. Look, when Rayn and I were apart, I thought I was losing it.  I would work out in the exercise facility until I could hardly walk back to my quarters.  But at least I knew where he was and that he was safe.  This is crazy with Saylan.  Bottling it up inside though will only make you more insane.  Talk to us.  We can’t make it go away, but we can listen and let you vent.”

He looked up at her and nodded.  “I feel so weak.”

“You’re not.  You lost your soul mate. You’re grieving. That’s not weakness.  That’s love Xarrid.  Do you remember when we first met?”

He nodded but raised his brows, not really following her.

“You scared the bejesus out of me. I was so intimidated by you.  I don’t know, you just seemed so in control and powerful.  And so smart about everything.  But there was something about you that made me turn to Jell-o inside and it was the way you felt about Rayn. You loved him so much that even though you sort of turned your back on us for a while, you did it in good conscience.  And it about killed you to do it too.  I always loved you after that.  So, what I’m trying to say is don’t ever think you’re weak around me.  When I think of strength, a picture of you comes to mind.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stave off another rush of tears.  Seeing his efforts,
Maddie pulled him back into her arms and said, “Stop trying to fight it Xarrid.  Let it go.” 

She rubbed his back and just held him tight.  When at last he felt in control again, he whispered, “I don’t know how to go on
Maddie.”

“I can help you with that.  You do it one day at a time.”

* * * * *

Rayn
, Rykerian and his mate January were sitting in the den when Maddie walked in.  Rayn was at her side in an instant.

“Well,” he asked.  He could tell by her glistening cheeks that she’d been crying. 

“His heart is cracked and his soul is splintering.  We talked for a long time.  He cried and poured his heart out, but I don’t know if I helped or not. I hope I did, but he needs more than what I can give him.”  She looked pointedly at January.

Rykerian
started shaking his head.

“It doesn’t matter how you feel about this
Rykerian,” Rayn said.  “Xarrid’s livelihood goes beyond your petty jealousies.”

Rykerian’s
mouth pressed into a thin line and he said, “Under any other circumstances, I would have something completely different to say to that remark.  Given the situation, I will only say this.  That was uncalled for.  January, please get Jurek here now.  My brother is in need of him and contrary to what Rayn may think, Xarrid’s needs will always come before my feelings for Jurek.”

January hugged
Rykerian and smiled.  Whenever she smiled like that, he pretty much melted anyway, so what did it matter? Within minutes, they all heard that strange popping sound, and suddenly, Jurek Herdekian appeared in the den.

“You rang?” he asked.  He always liked to say that to January because he thought it was funny, even though no one else did.

She flew to him and hugged him because it had been several months since she’d seen him. 

“Yes, we did.”

“How’s little Therron?” Not waiting for an answer, he looked at her and asked, “Are you pregnant again?”

As
Rayn and Maddie gaped at the three of them, January replied, “For the love of God, Jurek, can you not be discreet about anything?”

“Oh, sorry,” he said. He actually had to good graces to look contrite.

“We didn’t call you here for that.  We’re worried about Xarrid,” she said, wanting to get her now exposed pregnancy off the table and buried where it should have stayed except for Jurek’s big blabbering mouth.

“What’s up?”

Maddie explained about her time she spent with him and how he’d pulled away from them.

“Still no news on
Saylan then?” Jurek wanted to know.

“Nothing,”
Rayn answered.

“We know she wasn’t on Xanthus the last time we checked.  We scoured that hell hole. We’ll check again.  I can put one of my teams down there ASAP.  I need to check on
Xarrid.  Where is he?”

“In his room,”
Maddie told him.

“I’m going to take him away for a while.”

“Where?” January wanted to know.

“Some place where his mind can heal.  I should have done this a long time ago.”

“Are you taking him to Lare-Stell?”

“That would be a big no. He doesn’t need to be on an active space station.  He needs solitude, away from everything familiar.”

“Then where?” January pressed.

“Bloody hell, January.
  You’re a nosy one aren’t you?”

Her face flushed in anger. “No, I’m not.  I’m concerned about my brother-in-law, darn you!  Quit acting like a stubborn fool,” she spat, and then she stuck her tongue out at him.  She did this a lot, and he just shook his head and laughed.

“The sanctuary.”

“Huh?”

“I’m taking him to the sanctuary.  My sanctuary.  That’s all I’ll tell you about it because I don’t speak of it.  It’s on my home planet of Praestan and no one, other than myself, is allowed there.”

They all stared at him, mouths hanging open, jaws hitting the floor.

“What the hell is wrong with the lot of you?”

“You!
You’re doing something exceptionally nice for someone other than January.  That’s what’s wrong with us,” Rykerian answered.

Jurek
narrowed his eyes and growled, “Xarrid is my brother in every way except for blood.  Like January, I will do anything for him.”  Using his Praestani power, he flashed himself out of the room and over to Xarrid’s bedroom.

Coming
Soon...