How Sweet It Is (35 page)

That’s when it hit.

What the hell was she thinking? She couldn’t do this. It had been a nice thought. Really. A brave overture on her part, and who didn’t want to be brave? But yeah, no, this wasn’t going to happen. The panic attack was in full force, and she struggled to catch her breath. The air around her felt unusually warm and she tugged at the collar of her shirt. She had to get off this thing. Now. She opened her mouth to signal the ride attendant, but her voice simply wasn’t there. She gripped the bar in front of her in terror as her car rose higher and higher a little bit at a time as each new passenger boarded the ride.

This was bad. This was really bad.

She forced herself to breathe. Seven seconds in. Five seconds out. It wasn’t long before her car eased to the top of the wheel and paused there. As a coping mechanism, instead of focusing on how far she was from the ground, she raised her face skyward and watched the stars.

And whoa. There it was, right in front of her. Clear as day.

Her eyes trained on a grouping of stars that, if she wasn’t crazy, seemed to be concentrated in the shape of the number eight. She laughed out loud, tears and all. It was a sign if she had ever seen one. It meant she was doing exactly what she was supposed to be doing in this moment. She nodded her head and accepted the challenge in front of her just as the wheel began to circle.

On the first go-round, she clung to the bar for dear life, barely sneaking a look at the world as it passed. She would just wait this thing out and get out of there.

But on the second go-round, her hands loosened their grip and her breathing returned to semi-normal. That was something. The ride moved a bit too fast for her liking and it made her stomach drop in that way she couldn’t stand, but she was managing. Score one for her.

Then something miraculous happened. As the wheel continued to circle, she began to enjoy the sensation. The wind in her hair was refreshing and the panic shifted into some sort of welcome exhilaration. She let go of the bar and sat back in her seat, taking in the panoramic view, the ever-changing neon lights of the park, and the night all around her. Music played from the speaker in her car and her spirits soared in victory.

It was over faster than she thought it would be. Before she knew it, the attendant was pulling back the bar and releasing her from the ride. She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed. Surprised, he patted her back awkwardly. But she didn’t let go.

“You must have enjoyed yourself, huh?” he asked nervously. He probably thought she was a crazy person and maybe she was.

“It was the best ever. Very helpful. Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

“Do you mind if I ask your name? You’re kind of part of this whole memory now.”

He pointed to the letters sewn onto his shirt. “Leonard, ma’am.”

“Leonard. Len. That’s a great name. I have to go now, Leonard.” She squeezed his hand.

“Okay. Have a nice night.”

“That’s the plan,” she called over her shoulder.

*

“Hey, Mom. It’s me.” Jordan adjusted her rearview mirror to soften the obnoxious headlights from the car behind her. God, she hated driving at night and much preferred mass transportation.

“Hi, sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m on the road. Headed into Applewood, actually. A friend of mine is moving to town this weekend and I offered to help.”

“A friend of yours is moving to Applewood?”

“Yeah, you remember George. Long story. But listen, it’s kind of last minute, but I wanted to see if you and Dad were free for dinner. I know you all tend to eat kind of late, so I thought I’d risk it.” It was a bold move to call and arrange to spend time with them, but she wanted to try to work on their relationship. They were good people. And they were hers. Why wouldn’t she try to fix things?

Her mother’s voice lit up at the invitation. “Jordan, we would love that. Your father’s still at the office with a patient, but he shouldn’t be that much longer. I’ll give him a call. What time will you be here?”

She checked the clock. “Maybe eightish?”

“I’ll have some sort of dinner waiting, even if I have to order in. We can stay in and you can tell us all about the progress you’ve made with Journey. I know you must be working hard.”

She smiled. It seemed she wasn’t the only one ready to work on things. She was really looking forward to it. “I’ll call Mikey and see if he wants to stop by later.” Maybe this could be a regular thing, family get-togethers. She could make a point of visiting more often. It was a step in the right direction at least.

Then her mind drifted to where it always seemed to. She wondered if she’d see Molly over the course of the weekend. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t want to. The next day was Flour Child’s last. Molly would be a wreck. She wanted to find a way to be there for her, but it just wasn’t the best idea. It would be too difficult to be close to her and yet so far away at the same time.

Maybe Molly was right and over time it was something they could work up to. It was wishful thinking at its best.

*

Molly checked her GPS. She was only twenty-two miles outside of Chicago and just thirty minutes from Jordan’s apartment. When she’d explained her plans to the Tuscanas, they’d been helpful enough to provide her with the address. She could only hope now that Jordan would be home. It didn’t matter though. She could wait if she had to. She’d waited this long.

So she sang to Janis Joplin and drove with the windows down, praying to God she’d be heard when she arrived. The buzzing from her back pocket snagged her attention. She checked the readout on her phone, and in strange news found it was coming from the clinic. “Hello?”

“Abort. Abort the mission.”

“Joseph, is that you?”

“Yes. Turn around. The eagle is not in Chicago.”

“Eagle? What eagle?”

“The target. The eagle means the target. Haven’t you ever seen a spy movie?”

“I don’t speak spy. You’re telling me Jordan is not in Chicago?” She pulled her car off the road onto the shoulder. “What do you mean? Where is she?”

“Amalia just called. She’s on her way to our house. She should be there any minute.”

“In
Applewood
?”

“That’s what I’m trying to tell you. How far away are you?”

“Far. It will take me a couple of hours. Are you sure she’s there?”

“Dead sure. You better turn around. We can stall her.”

She understood the implications of what he was saying to her, and her heart warmed. He was helping.

“Thank you, Joseph,” she said. “For everything.”

“You can thank me later. Just drive safe.”

“I will.”

With a flick of her wrist, she cranked the volume on the stereo even louder and turned that damn car around.

*

“I’m stuffed.” Mikey took in his plate, and in a nice touch, took Jordan’s for her as well.

She grinned up at him as he passed. “Very chivalrous of you, Mikey. I’m impressed.”

“Don’t get used to it,” he shot back. “I just happen to be in a good mood.” He softened a little. “You see, I haven’t seen my little sister in a few weeks. And here she is.”

“Aww, I missed you too, Michael.” She caught him on the return and pulled him into a hug he begrudged at first. Finally, he wrapped his arms around her snugly and placed a kiss on the side of her head.

“So there.”

She grinned up at him and then turned to her parents. “Thank you for having me tonight and for dinner.”

“Let’s do this more often,” Amalia said, cradling her chin in her hand. “It was fun to hear all you’ve been up to. I mean that.”

“Thanks. Maybe we can. In fact, let’s try. But for now, I better head over to Little Bobby’s. I’m exhausted, and I hear he has the guest room all made up for me. I wouldn’t want to stand the guy up.”

“Why don’t you stay here? With us?”

“It’s just easier. There’s a lot of work to be done over there. Plus, he kind of insisted.”

“You can’t leave yet,” Joseph practically shouted.

“Oh. Okay. Is there something you—?”

“Pie! We haven’t had pie. And we should.” Joseph pointed at her.

“If it’s okay, I think I’ll pass. I’m just really full. The pizza was plenty.”

Her father looked around furtively in a move that had her questioning his sanity. “You’ll make your mother cry if you don’t stay for one piece.”

“I will,” Amalia added. “I’ll just cry. Tears. Is that what you want. Your own mother?”

She shot Mikey a questioning look, but he just shrugged, clearly as mystified as she was.

“Okay. No crying. Just a small piece though, and then I have to jet.”

“Coming right up!” Joseph shouted. He was full of extra energy tonight. Geez.

Two bites into her coconut cream sliver, the kitchen door opened.

“Hey, Mol,” Mikey said from the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Kind of a crazy, busy day, actually.”

“Yeah?”

“You have no idea.”

And then there she was. Molly. Standing in the entryway of her parents’ living room. Her hair was a little windblown, which made it completely perfect. In fact, just the sight of her made everything else in the room pale.

*

“Hey.” Molly knew it wasn’t the best opening line, but it’s what came out of her mouth. Jordan looked completely surprised to see her there. That much she could tell.

“Hey.” Jordan seemed to be clocking the exits, which wasn’t a great sign. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too.”

“I’d like to stay and catch up, but I’m supposed to meet Bobby and I’m already late.” She picked up the bag next to her chair and slipped it over her shoulder, as Molly stood there paralyzed. Even though she’d had all these great things worked out to say, the minute she found herself face-to-face with Jordan, they were gone from her mind.

And this was too important for that.

“Don’t go.” That was step one. Stop her from leaving. Jordan turned to her in question. “I should have said all of this before, but I wasn’t ready. I get that now. But just because I wasn’t ready doesn’t make what’s happening in my heart any less true. God, I’m not making sense. How could you have possibly followed that?” She placed a hand on her forehead and commanded her mind to slow down.

“What’s going on, Molly?” Jordan’s eyes locked with hers, and the compassion there was unmistakable. That’s when the world seemed to right itself, because just that look from Jordan was enough to set her back on track. Their connection was still very much intact.

“Do you want us to give you a minute?” Mikey asked.

“Shhh,” Amalia said to him. “I’m trying to listen. I’m the mother.”

Molly took a deep breath. “I know why you walked away.”

The three other Tuscanas looked from Molly to Jordan and back again as if captivated by an unpredictable tennis match. But she didn’t let it distract her. If anything, they
should
hear all of this.

She pressed on. “I was struggling and you saw that. You saw the doubt, the trepidation. And maybe you thought it was best for both of us if you gave me an easy way out.”

Jordan listened, her expression guarded. God, what was she thinking?

“But it wasn’t the easy way, because each day without you has been insufferable. The doubt, the trepidation was never about you. You’ve been the one true thing in my life through all of this, and my feelings never wavered.”

Jordan’s lips parted in surprise.

“I love you, Jordan. I’m
in
love with you. I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. It took me some time to admit it to myself. But I’m sure now. You once talked about the grand gesture. And if I had a radio, I’d be holding it over my head right now. But, here I am in front of your whole family, putting it all out there. I wasn’t ready before, and you were right to give me space. I’m ready now. No, excited is a better word. I’m excited for whatever life has in store for us. That is, if you are.”

“Are you?” Joseph asked.

Mikey shot him a warning look. “Dad.”

He covered his mouth. “Sorry.”

All eyes were on Jordan, who wasn’t saying a whole lot. The silence hung in the air between them.

“Am I too late?” Molly asked.

Finally, Jordan shook her head. “No. You could never be too late. I just—I want you to be happy, and I don’t want to be the person who gets in the way of that. Because those are the kinds of things you think about when you love someone. And I do love you.”

Molly moved to her then because those words were too powerful to keep her away any longer. She cradled Jordan’s face in her hands delicately. “The thing is, I think you’re kind of the key to my happiness.”

Jordan seemed to take that in. “I am?”

“You are. Wait a sec. Did you hear all that?”

“What?”

“We’re in love,” she whispered.

A slow smile took shape on Jordan’s face. “Best sentence ever.” And she kissed Molly. Right there in the living room in front of everyone. Molly sank into the amazingness of that kiss. She marveled at how it felt so wonderfully perfect as Amalia sniffled into Mikey’s sleeve.

“What?” she said when they all turned to her. “Am I not allowed to get emotional?”

Mikey eyed them, clearly in shock at this new development. Luckily, there was also a smile on his face. “You two have some big time explaining to do. And sometime soon. Way to keep a guy in the dark.”

Molly slid her arms around Jordan’s waist. “Sorry, Mikey. We kind of left you out of all this, didn’t we?”

He held his thumb and index finger very close together and then turned his attention to Jordan. “Lucky for you, little sister, I’m a roll with the punches kind of guy.”

“Yeah. Lucky me,” Jordan looked at Molly purposefully.

It was time to get out of there. And Molly, for one, couldn’t wait another minute.

She turned to the Tuscanas, who’d so graciously offered their house up in aid of her quest. “We should get out of your hair.” She took a moment to hug each one of them. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “For everything.”