How to Bake the Perfect Wedding Cake (7 page)

“Lauren, what’s going on?” He stands in front of me, blocking my way. I can’t face him right now. I need to be alone. I need to think about this situation and everything that it encompasses. I edge to the right and he meets me.

“Lauren, talk to me, what are you thinking?” His piercing blue eyes are staring down at me and I’m too lost to fall into his ocean of blue. I’m hurt and confused. I don’t understand why he would take the fun memory-making moment of buying a house together and give that to Brianna. I can’t imagine making my own memories now in this house knowing that she helped my soon-to-be-husband pick it out. I shake my head and push past Jack. I’ve got to get outside. I need to breathe. I’m closed in and drowning in the nausea of whether or not I’m making the right decision by being with Jack. Does it make sense for me to partner with someone who would partner with my best friend in selecting our house?

I rush outside and down the path away from the car. I don’t want to be on the road. I can’t be on a defined path when I’m lost on my own. I need to run free in an unpaved field and get out of this moment. I need fresh air and space to think. Away from this house already filled with memories by someone else. Jack walked through this house with my best friend instead of me. My heart is squeezing tight. I let out a small cry of pain. It hurts. I’m so lost. I run past the back of the house, past the backyard and into a forest.

The trees are green and lush and I keep going. I run and run and run. As far as my feet will take me. I’ve got to get away. I’m sadder than I’ve ever been and I’m afraid. What will come of this situation? And of us? Can I look past this moment and move on? The answer is I don’t know. I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. The one person who I would call to consult about it is part of the problem.

I can’t believe Brianna would keep this from me. Does she value her job over our friendship? Was getting Jack’s business more important than telling me what was going on? I’m crushed. I stop running and crash onto the ground. I kneel down and let the tears fall. I don’t care about the black mascara that is staining my cheeks. I’m in pain. My heart is breaking. Two of my favorite people have been dealing with things behind my back. In secret. And neither gave any indication of what was going on.
Nothing.

I can hear Jack calling my name. I can’t face him right now. I get up and I charge off farther into the forest. I’m running farther and farther away from the house and Jack. I’m not sure if I should stop and turn around or keep going. At what point do you quit? At what point do you have to give up? And at what point do you realize that maybe you’re wrong? Something catches my leg and I stumble and fall. I try and stop myself but my foot is caught in some sort of a divot. I hit the ground hard. My hands are covered in dirt and blood. I’m in pain. Physically and emotionally. Have I ever been this low? To be lying on the ground covered in dirt and heartbroken. I want to hide under the leaves and branches and hope that Jack won’t find me. Humiliation is only the beginning of my torture.

The sound of Jack’s voice is nearer. The leaves are crunching underneath his feet. His voice is full of concern. He sounds worried. About me. But why? He had no concern when he went behind my back. I swallow and curl up into a ball. Maybe if I’m in a ball he won’t notice me.

“Lauren, what happened?” He kneels down next to me. His hands reach mine. They are warm and my pain is intensified. I want to be with him. I do. But I’m confused and hurt and I don’t know what to say in response to what happened. Do I tell him how I feel and how hurt I am? I’m a mess. Tears stream down my face and Jack pulls me into his arms. His mouth is against my head, his breath is warm, everything about him is warm…except the house. Why did he choose to buy a house with my best friend? I just can’t even wrap my head around it.

“Lauren, please talk to me. Whatever it is we can figure it out.” Jack’s fingers run through my hair and I’m comforted and falling and the feelings of hopelessness and fear are being pulled away from my mind, and yet I’m not ready to let them go. I can’t. Can we figure this out? I really don’t know. I don’t recall ever watching a show where the guy buys a house for his fiancée prior to marrying her and does it in secret and utilizes the help of her best friend the realtor agent. I shake my head.

“I don’t know, Jack.” I bite my lip. “I just…I don’t understand why you kept all of this a secret from me?”

“I wanted to surprise you.” Jack tips my chin up towards him so that our eyes meet. “I thought you liked surprises?”

My eyes strain to focus on his face. “A house is not a little surprise. That is a huge decision and a major purchase, a life-changing event. Yes, I like little fun surprises, but this is so different.” I swallow. “And honestly, it makes me uncomfortable to know that you were house hunting with Brianna.” I sigh. “And not me.” I shake my head. “It should have been me.”

Jack’s body is retracting from mine and it’s almost as if the physical distance between our two bodies is being multiplied by light years. I don’t want to upset him but he has really upset me and I can’t just move forward without letting him know how I feel. I can’t sit silent and ignore how this situation is making me feel. I can’t. I won’t.

“I’m sorry, Lauren, I am a complete jackass.” We both laugh. “Seriously, though, I didn’t even once consider the fact that you would be bothered by not being a part of the house hunting or that I involved Brianna.” He grabs my hand and rubs his thumb over my palm. “I honestly thought you would be excited about the purchase and that I asked Brianna to help make it happen.” He kisses my fingers and I’m melting.

Am I wrong to be bothered? Is it not a big deal? Should I just be okay with it? Am I being foolish and immature? I wish I could talk to Br—no…I wish I could talk to Megan right now. But I can’t “phone a friend” during an intense moment with my soon-to-be-husband. My partner. No, I need to pony up and get us together in this whole process.

“Jack, I just…I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of you buying a house that we are supposed to live in together without thinking about me during the process.” I shake my head and stand up. I need to get out of the leaves. Some are even a bit moist and my navy skirt and peach blouse are not exactly the right attire for being in leaves.

Jack stands up and reaches for my hand. “I thought about you during the entire process; you were my focus. This house, the land, everything it encompasses is a circumference of our love woven together and our journey, our past, our memories, and our future.”

“What do you mean?”

“Look around you, Lauren—what do you see?” Jack motions with his hand to our surroundings. I scan the area, the trees, and then focus back on him.

“Trees?” I shrug.

“What kind of trees?” Jack points to the leaves.

“I don’t know… You’re the tree person in this relationship, remember?” Over Christmas Jack compared me to a tree… It sounds odd but in the moment it really made me swoon, well it still does. It was a really sweet gesture when he picked out my Christmas tree.

Jack laughs. “Yes, and you are definitely still a Douglas fir, but the trees that we are surrounded by right here in this forest on
our
property are pecans.”

I gasp. “Are you serious?” I take a step back and take in the sight of the leaves and the nuts or would-be nuts hanging from them.

“Yes, our house has a pecan grove. Walk with me…” Jack guides me out of the forest and we move farther away from our house until we meet another lining of trees. Jack stops and points. “Do you know what kind of trees those are?”

I stare at the branches and the leaves, but I honestly have no idea. I could maybe identify an oak tree with a colored picture diagram but other than that, I’m batting zeros. I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

“Apples. Braeburn apples.”

My chest tightens. Tingles of fear and excitement run over my arms. My face is hot. And my mind is racing. “Are these the apples you used in the pie contest?”

Jack doesn’t need to say anything. No words are required. His blue eyes are sparkling down at me with a love that is endless and overflowing. I can’t even deal with this much emotion. I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Jack has merged the things that brought us together—pecans and the apples that won the Fourth of July competition—all in one on our property.

Our land.

Our house.

Our home.

Yes, I can do this.

Chapter Five

As our feet make it back yet again to the front door, Jack squeezes my hand. “Ready?”

I can’t help but laugh—
ready
is our word. Or Jack’s word that often applies to so much more than the current situation. He’s been asking me if I’m
ready
since we first met and now here we are entering our house. And yes, I’m
ready
.

“Yes, I’m ready for the grand tour.” I grin up at him. His blue eyes are sprinkled with shades of green and are sparkling down at me with such love and happiness and I’m happy too. There is a small amount of doubt that is twisting inside of me about the details that led up to the purchase of the house. But I know Jack’s intentions were good…Brianna on the other hand. I will have to tackle that topic later.

Jack leads me into the foyer and the living room is lined with large windows that reach the ceiling. The stairs are wooden and lead up to a catwalk and I imagine seeing our children playing upstairs and sneaking out during a party like the von Trapp kids not wanting to go to bed. My chest tightens.
Children.

“Jack, we haven’t talked about a lot of things.”

“What do you mean? Is there something you need to tell me?”

I let out a small laugh. “There are things we should tell each other. Like I know you want kids but how many?”

“As many as we are blessed with.”

“Oh no, I’m not going to be some sort of TLC baby machine mom.”

“Really? I could see you in sister-wife attire and with your hair in two braids.” He tugs on the tips of my hair and I shove him.

“That sounds horrible.”

“Well, the sister-wife outfit does, but I think you would look cute with braids.” He brushes his hand along my cheek.

“No to all of the above. Seriously though, kids?”

“Seriously kids, yes.”

I roll my eyes. “Come on, how many kids?”

Jack reaches for my hands and pulls me in close to him. “Lauren, I want nothing more than to make children with you. Why do you think I picked out a six-bedroom house?” His lips meet mine and before I can do the math in my head my mind is being swiped of any possibility of calculations. No numbers, no equations. All I see is Jack and being with him is better than anything I’ve ever experienced. He runs his hands through my hair and then holds my back to pull me in close to him. “How many isn’t an issue.” He leads me out of the living room and into another room.

“What about our finances? I know you bought this house, but should we meet with a lawyer and draw up a will?”

“Uh-oh…are you making arrangements for my demise? Planning on turning our little chateau into a bed and breakfast or something?” Jack tips up my chin so that our eyes meet.

I laugh. “Yeah…I can’t imagine myself ever running a bed and breakfast.”

“True enough, the guests would starve.”

“Hey, I know how to make a great batch of popcorn.” I nudge his shoulder and he doesn’t budge.

“Right, but most bed and breakfast places offer more than popcorn as a means to feed their guests.”

“I am also good at making coffee.” I nod.

“Really? You are still in bed when the last of the coffee is dripping into the pot.”

“That’s because you like getting up early to make it…right?”

Jack reaches for my hand and kisses my knuckles. “I like making it for you.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to run a bed and breakfast. I want to discuss things with you. Are we going to merge finances? Who is going to pay for the electricity? What about our retirement?” I bat my eyelashes at him as if I can speed up an answer from him.

“Retirement? We’re several decades away from that… As far as electricity goes, I think we have enough of that between us to keep the lights on forever.” His lips meet mine and he’s right—we have enough spark to light up a castle in the dead of winter.

His lips trail along my neck and he guides me into another room. It’s like we are dancing a waltz of one two three four, spin and turn and pause. And we do pause. We pause in this moment to take in the grandeur of this amazing room. Its cream-colored walls with white crown molding. The windows are open but there is nothing in the backdrop but trees. Our trees. Full of leaves and possibilities. All these moments are happening before us. Our wedding, and our marriage. I see everything unfolding before us and it’s beautiful.

“This is our bedroom. I did wait to furnish it. Except for the bed. I figured you would be okay with my bed.” Jack lays me down on his sheets. They’re soft and smell of him. Delicious apples and a warm woodsy fragrance. He’s staring down into my eyes. “Are you okay with this bed?” His finger traces the side of my jaw and over to my mouth. “Lauren?”

I let out a big breath. “Yes, I love your bed. It’s so…big.”

“That’s what she said.” Jack laughs.

I roll my eyes. “I can’t believe you said that.”

“Come on, it was fitting. What better place to use that line than in my bed?”

I scrunch up my eyebrows. “You mean our bed, right?”

“Yes, Lauren, our bed in our house. Everything you see…” He takes my hand and puts it over his heart. “Is yours for now and forever.”

I reach up and pull him towards me and his lips crash onto mine. Our tongues meet in a riptide of passion and I’m being swept away in his love. His hands are roaming all over my body and clothes are being tossed like we are on fire and need to stop, drop, and roll. I can’t get close enough to him. I want to be with him like this for now and forever. Deeper and deeper he’s making me fall and feel things that I’ve never even imagined. How could a love be so true, so real, and so right?

***

I take in a deep breath and glance at Jack. He’s pulling his shirt back over his head. His abs are rock hard. How many sit-ups does he do a day? He definitely has a beach body. I gulp. We haven’t discussed where we’re going to honeymoon, but I assume it will include a trip to the beach or at the very least a pool. If so, I’m going to need to tackle some ab routines of my own.