How to Bake the Perfect Wedding Cake (11 page)

My shoulders tense up and my chest tightens. Calm down…I need to get these quasi-panic attacks in order. Maybe it’s the wedding planning, or the Brianna situation, work situation, Trent situation, which now leads to the Jack situation… It’s like I’m six degrees of situations that are all making me freak out to a point of revisiting my panic attack days…which I thought I had escaped. I don’t want to be back in that spot. I was so weak and afraid of when the next one would pop up. Hiding out in bathrooms to avoid people during a moment. Not wanting anyone to see when and if they were happening. It was awful. My throat is dry. I swallow but it’s like I’m swallowing air. My mouth is like a desert of despair. I scan through Megan’s texts without really taking them in. The next text is from Jack.

Okay don’t stay too late. Btw I made you something tasty for later…but before you try it, I’ll have to drizzle a little bit over your body to make sure I didn’t make it too sweet.

My face is hotter than the desert in July at this point. I take in a deep breath and glance around the room. For some reason I’m embarrassed to have read this message from Jack in such a public place. Like I should have read it in a room alone or something. Doesn’t he realize I’m at “work” and shouldn’t be reading something so titillating?

I like your methodology and hope you made enough for several samplings?
I hit send
.

Are you questioning the man who always has a plan?

I laugh.
Never.

I’ve made several back-up batches just in case I get distracted with my drizzling and make a mess. On you. Don’t worry, I’ll clean it up. With my tongue.

My insides are on fire. Jack is making me squirm in my seat. I want to rush out of this place and to my house and let him show me each drizzle he has suggested. I take in a deep breath.

I’ll be home soon.

And I will be. This conversation with Brianna can surely be had in less than an hour. I glance at the doors and Brianna slides through, making a grand entrance as usual. Her shiny black hair swings around her as she sashays to greet me. I stand up and we hug. It has been over two weeks since I’ve seen her and I have honestly missed her shiny ray of happiness. She can swipe away all thoughts of my problems with a bat of her eyelashes.

“Darling, it’s been too long.” Brianna eyes the waitress who returns with two glasses of Cabernet and this is why she is our favorite waitress.

“Thank you, Beverly, you always have perfect timing.” Brianna takes the glasses and hands one to me.

“So, talk to me…what’s been going on? What’s with the radio silence?” Her green eyes peer into mine and I immediately want to share that I asked Megan and how I’m regretting it but I can’t, not tonight. Tonight, I have to solve the Trent issue.

I shake my head as if it were that easy to shake off this yuckiness. I don’t even want to share what happened with her or anyone. But the problem has to be dealt with and Brianna is the only person who can give me some answers about what to say and to whom.

“What is going on? You have something to spill…do it.”

I laugh. “Something is going on…but it’s not good.”

“What is it? Talk to me, Goose.”

I can’t help but laugh again. Even in this stressful moment Brianna knows how to say the right thing to make me feel at ease. “It’s about Trent.”

“Oh lawd…I told you he had it bad… What happened?”

“He kissed me.”

“What?” Brianna practically squeals in our small quaint lounging local and several people glance in our direction. I cut my eyes from any inquisitive gazes.

“When, how, where were you, what did you do?” Brianna is like a child reciting the possible question cues and forgetting about the main issue—that it actually happened. All the other answers really don’t matter. And they definitely won’t to Jack.

“It happened at work.”

“Oh my lawd, did you report it or him? What did you do?”

“I threw up in his mouth.”

“What?” Brianna is even louder this time and jerks her head back with disgust. The same disgust I felt, but it’s not like I meant to puke in his mouth and further I never wanted him to kiss me.

“Yeah, he surprise-kissed me. Pushed his nasty tongue in my mouth and I threw up in his.”

Brianna blinks her eyes and shakes her head. For once in her life she is literally speechless.

“And then I was so grossed out and knew the rest was coming up so I dashed to the ladies’. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

Brianna begins laughing uncontrollably. “I’m sorry.” She’s barely able to say anything in between her fit of giggles. “It’s not that funny. Well actually it is…but it’s just so perfect and gross.” Her laughter continues. “Haha, only you, Lauren, could thwart someone’s continual advances by puking in their mouth.” She shakes her head and wipes around her mouth. “Oh my goodness…that is just too ridiculously perfect.” She takes a sip of her wine. “Okay, I’m all right now. I’m sorry. It’s just…” She laughs again. “No really, I’m done. Speaking of which, what are you going to do about this?” She cocks her head to the right and for the first time since she sat down she is serious.

“That’s why you’re here.”

She jerks her head back. “Oh, honey, I don’t even know. You have two issues to deal with here. One, Jack. And two, work.”

“Exactly, so how do I do it and what do I say?” I take a sip of my Cabernet. It tastes off. Like it’s been sitting out for weeks. Which is not normal for Shantilly’s.

“Well, first off you have to tell Jack. As in as soon as you leave here. If you let it sit for a moment longer, it will cause huge problems.”

My stomach twists. I consider rushing off to the ladies’. No, I’m fine. “Right, but what do I say?”

“You tell him what you just told me.”

“Including the puke?”

“Most importantly the puke.”

I scrunch up my eyebrows. “Why, to embarrass myself?”

“No, to show how grossed out you were by Trent kissing you. That’s why you threw up, right?” Brianna’s eyes run over my face and body like she is a TSA agent at the airport trying to determine if I have contraband. “That is why you threw up, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“There are many reasons why someone might be sick and I’m wondering what caused your puking in Trent’s mouth. Was it because you were grossed out or was it something else?”

“Of course I was grossed out.” I shake my head at her like I’m appalled that she would think anything else.

“Right, but have you been sick at any other point lately?” Brianna scoots closer to the table in between us. “It’s okay to tell me, Lauren. You know it’s safe to talk with me.”

I take in a deep breath and bite my lip. “No. I’m fine.”

“Okay, listen. I’m not saying anything caused one or the other but if anything is making you feel a certain way again, I’m here to talk… Remember, I’m a safe conversation zone. It’s okay to tell me if things are happening again.”

I swallow but my throat is dry again. I take a sip of the wine, which is really nasty. I can’t drink it. I place it down on the table.

“I’ll tell Jack but what do I do about Trent? I’ve already told him a zillion times I’m not interested and now he’s pushed the envelope too far. But I feel if I speak up about it now people will question my timing and the fact that he is doing better than me.”

Brianna nods. “You’re a hundred percent right. You can’t say anything. Well, you could, but it’s best if you don’t. There are two ways to handle this. One, being Jack—”

“Wait, what?”

“Come on, Lauren, what do you think will happen when you tell Jack that Trent kissed you?”

“He’ll be mad.”

“Understatement of the year. He will be furious. If Jack isn’t the biggest alpha I’ve seen to cross your path then I don’t know who is. Listen, he won’t be reasoned with. He will handle it and honestly I think you should let him.”

“What? Why? It’s not his issue. I’m not some damsel who needs to be rescued or something.”

“Actually, Lauren, you kind of are. You’re in a tough space. You can be all I am woman hear me roar in this situation, but your instinct is right—you will be shunned at work and you can forget the next level of promotions because your ceiling will go from glass to cement.”

“Wow, that’s harsh and not necessarily true.”

“It might be harsh but true it is. Your character, your performance will come into question. Let Jack handle it or at least give him an opportunity to guide you on what to do. That’s my advice.” She swallows the last of her glass of wine. “Now, this is going to sound weird coming from me, but I’m calling it a night, because you have got to get to Jack and talk… Every minute is a countdown to how much he will be bothered that you didn’t talk to him sooner about it.”

I reach for my glass and then retract my hand, remembering how nasty it tastes. I can’t believe Brianna willingly finished her glass. Oh well.

“All right. Let’s go.” We pay our tabs and exit into the summer night. The sky is shades of pinks and oranges and makes me think that would make for a pretty wedding bouquet. But will there be a wedding for me to hold a bouquet? I’m anxious, worried, and a bit afraid of what this summer night will hold for me and my future.

Chapter Eight

Wow, today has been a day. I climb the stairs to my townhouse. I just want to ditch my office attire and snuggle up in my comfy clothes. Opt for popcorn and wine on the couch and watch some sort of mindless entertainment. I don’t want to think. But I know what has to happen first. What has to be said and heard and then the aftermath of that. What will Jack say or do in response? I’m worried. The anticipation of the unknown is tearing away at my insides. I let go of all of it and open the door.

Jack jumps up from the couch with his cell phone in his hand. “Hey, I was beginning to worry about you.” His lips meet mine.

I jerk back. “Why? I said I’d be a bit late and I’m not that late.” I glance across the room at the clock. It’s a little after six, which isn’t bad considering it’s a Monday.

“We are supposed to meet the group at 6:30.” Jack takes a step back and runs his eyes over my outfit. “Did you forget?”

I scrunch my eyebrows together. “What? Noooo…let me run and freshen up really quickly.” I rush past him into the bedroom.
Shiat.
I totally forgot. Dinner with his work colleagues. He’s been planning this since he moved up here and tonight I was finally going to meet his employees from the Baltimore office. I obviously don’t have time for a shower. It’ll have to be a squirt of perfume and an extra application of makeup to touch up my frazzled Monday appearance. Why did we have to meet on a Monday? I shake my head as I swish some shadow over my lids. I glide back out into the living room, leaving any sense of comfort behind me. Nope. I’ll have to put on my happy face and be present for a few more hours today.

“You look gorgeous, come on. We can’t be late. I made reservations.” Jack grabs my hand and we make our way to his car. I slide into my seat, happy that I chose to wear my gray capped dress with crème jacket and crème pumps today, which can shift to nighttime appearance—even though I didn’t even remember about this dinner when I put it on this morning. What kind of a fiancée am I? I’m disappointed with myself. This is a big deal for Jack and I totally forgot about it. I hope he doesn’t realize that I
lied
about remembering. I don’t want to make the situation worse than it already is.

“How was your day? You seemed down when you came through the door?”

I let out a sigh. “Yeah, it wasn’t great. Trent… There was—”

“There was what? Why was he promoted again? Are his numbers really that good?”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, his numbers are good, but no they didn’t promote him again.”

“So what’s the problem, Lauren?”

“Okay, Trent kissed me.”

Jack’s face goes from fear to rage in no less than the second it took for the three horrible words to pass from my lips.

“When?” The vein in his throat is pumping like it’s racing to the finish line.

“Today at work.”

“Where?”

“In my office.”

“What was he doing in your office?”

I swipe some hair off my face. “I came back from my morning meeting and he was there in my office. I asked him to leave and he wouldn’t. He said he was trying to help me get my team organized. I explained to Trent that I didn’t need or appreciate his help and he was to leave me alone. He didn’t say anything and I thought I had finally gotten through to him. I was about to open the door and he pulled me into his arms and kissed me.”

I let out a deep breath.

“What did you do?”

I glance down at the ground. This is so embarrassing. Even though I didn’t ask for the kiss in any way or form, the idea that I puked in someone’s mouth is just really disgusting and I’m grossed out with myself.

“Lauren, what did you do in response?”

I let out deep breath. “I threw up in his mouth.”

“What?”

“Yeah, I puked up stomach bile in his mouth. He released me and I dashed off to the bathroom. I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”

A smile crosses over Jack’s face. He reaches for my hand and kisses it. “God, I love you, Lauren.”

I scrunch up my eyebrows. “Because I’m gross?”

Jack lets out a loud guffaw. “No, my love, you are not gross, you are an amazingly beautiful woman and hearing that his kiss made you sick enough to puke couldn’t make me happier.” Jack’s grin is wider than I thought was possible.

I let out a laugh. “Well, I’m glad you think my inopportune puking is a good thing.”

“Hey, that was the most opportune puking that I’ve ever heard of.” Jack strokes my hand. “I can’t imagine a better response to shut someone down.” He laughs again.

“Yes, I hope so. Now that he is a manager too…it just makes everything different.”

Jack tsks. “Lauren, you know he didn’t get there on his own merit. Threats for position? That’s not exactly stellar management. It’s not the way to run things.”

“I know…but it wasn’t my decision. Javier didn’t even think to contact me. It’s not like I was in Iceland and unreachable.”

Jack nods. “Definitely not Iceland; hot summer nights in Texas? Mmm, those I remember. Anyway, that’s not the point. Trent crossed a line today. I’m just glad you showed him how you really felt. And if that still doesn’t get him to back off, I’ll be having
words
with him. No one kisses my fiancée but me.” He reaches for my hand and kisses my knuckles.