How to Fall in Love (11 page)

“Stop, we need to . . .”

He doesn’t let me finish; he takes my hips in his hand and tilts them up, rubbing his jean-clad cock harder against my aching sex. Fuck. Dammit. Screw his skill.

“You got something to say, Blue Belle?” he grunts into my ear.

“F-f-f-fuck you.”

“Oh, you will be, baby.”

He starts rotating his hips again, stopping any argument from escaping my lips. I whimper and thrash against him, trying to stop the friction but loving it so damned much at the same time.

“You never could say no to me,” he rasps in my ear as he grinds against me.

My pride and determination jump forth. His words, instead of turning me on, make me irrationally angry. He’s assuming that the moment he comes running, I can’t say no. And dammit, he’s right. The moment he talked dirty to me, I gave in and forgot about everything else. I close my eyes and clench my jaw, ignoring the way his hard cock rubs over me so precisely. He knows exactly how I need it.

“Being stubborn won’t help you,” he murmurs into my ear, lifting my leg and tilting my ass so he can grind faster.

I say nothing, trying to keep my breathing steady as his picks up and he starts panting. It feels good for him; I know it does. He runs his lips over my jaw and I shiver, but I refuse to let him get the better of me. I won’t come, even if it kills me. I think about the most awful things I can, and I fight to stop the pleasure rising hard and fast inside me.

“Fuck, I need to taste you.”

He moves quickly, lifting his big body off mine. Before I know what’s happening, he’s got me bare and exposed before him. He kneels on the bed, staring down at my pussy. His jaw is tight, his fists are clenched, but his eyes are lusty. “Fuck, I’ve missed that. Best pussy I’ve ever seen—so sweet, so full, so fucking wet.”

At his words I contract, but I press a hand over my face, covering my eyes. If I don’t look at him in all his glory, he won’t turn me on. I wait for him to lower and devour me with his mouth, because I know that’s what he wants to do, but he doesn’t. After a few minutes, I lift my arm and see him staring at me, fully naked now, hard cock in his hand. It was dark earlier tonight, so I didn’t get a good view of him.

Now I can see it all.

Tattoos cover his big chest and run down his left arm and halfway down his right. He’s got one under his belly button, and a few on his thighs. Holy shit, he never had this many. He always loved them, but I didn’t realize he had gone so crazy since I left. He’s got two nipple rings, which I didn’t notice earlier, and his cock is exactly as I remember it, long and thick, hard and jutting.

He looks like the meaning of danger, kneeling on my bed, stroking his dick. His eyes are black and his jaw is so tight I can see the thick, corded muscles there. I can’t help but take him in, putting a new picture in my memory bank to add to the countless ones I have of him. I stare, trying to see the man I married, trying to see the boy I fell in love with, but this man, he feels like a different person.

Yet I still want him more than I’m willing to admit.

“Why were you covering your eyes?” he says, his voice low and thick, full of lust.

“Because if I can’t see you, then I don’t have to accept that I’ve really allowed myself to be so weak by letting you in my bed. I shouldn’t want . . .”

My words are cut off, because Max backs off the bed. Then he surprises me because he does something I don’t expect—he actually flinches and his eyes flash with pain. Holy shit, my words hurt him.

“I didn’t . . .” I try to say but he jerks his jeans on, hands trembling.

Oh my God, he’s hurt.

I sit up quickly and scurry off the bed. “Max, I didn’t mean it like that, I just . . .”

He puts his back to me. Fuck. Shit.

“You know what?” he says, his back to me, his voice icy. “You can go and get fucked.”

I flinch. “Max,” I choke out. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

He spins, glaring at me, but I don’t miss the glassy look his eyes have got, or how they’re slightly red at the sides. Full of emotion.

“Didn’t you?” he spits. “Fuck me, I don’t know why the hell I came back here. What did I honestly expect from you?”

“You can’t possibly mean that,” I say, my voice trembling. “Jesus, Max, do you honestly think I would just forget everything you did to me?”

“Because you’re so fucking perfect, aren’t you?” he roars.

I take a shocked step back. His voice is loud and terrifying.

“I did what I had to do . . .”

“No.” He laughs bitterly. “You gave up on your husband and hid his child from him.”

His words shock me so much I just stand there, speechless.

“Yeah,” he grunts. “But you’re so fucking perfect aren’t you, Blue Belle?”

“You told me you didn’t love me . . . you were drinking and gambling and you shut down . . .”

“Because I was suffering,” he roars, spinning and slamming his fist into my lamp. It goes soaring across the room. “I was fucking dying inside.”

“And you wouldn’t talk to me!” I scream. “Jesus, Max, you wouldn’t tell me what was happening, you just kept on pushing me away.”

“And you were supposed to be my wife,” he says and his voice, his strong beautiful voice, cracks. “Through better and worse, right? I was dying inside, but you didn’t want to stay by my side. I knew what I did was wrong, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I was broken and didn’t even know who I was most days, but I thought . . .”

I start to cry and he watches the tears slide down my cheeks.

“I thought you’d fight with me, but you just gave up. You just left.”

“I found out I was pregnant.” I sob. “The night you told me you didn’t love me anymore, I found out, and I couldn’t take it. It wasn’t fair.”

Before he can answer, there’s a pounding on the door.

“Open up, Belle!”

Shit. It’s Tyke.

I reach down and grab my clothes, jerking them on. Max doesn’t move—he just stands there, jeans on but unbuttoned, staring at me. I walk to the door and swing it open to see Tyke and Pippa staring in.

“Everything okay in here?” Tyke asks.

“It’s f-f-f-fine,” I manage through my tears.

“No, it’s not. You two need to separate,” he orders.

Max grabs his shirt, muttering, “Fucking fine by me.”

He walks to the door and I call out his name, my voice so weak it’s barely a whisper. He looks back at me as he shoves past Tyke. “Did you ever think telling me about that baby might have been what saved me?”

My heart breaks open.

“No, you didn’t, because you had already given up on me.”

Then he leaves.

I fall to my knees and sob.

~*~*~*~

“H
igher, Mommy!”

I push the swing higher, smiling as my daughter squeals happily.

I brought her out today to try and take my mind off the awful person I was last night. I’ve picked up my phone so many times, wanting to talk to Max, wanting to explain, but having no idea how. I hurt him; I’ve not seen him hurt like that since the night his whole world changed. He’s right, and that hurts more than anything. I promised him I’d always be there for him, no matter what, and the moment it got hard I ran.

I’m a damned fool, and not for a second did I stop and think about my part in our marriage breaking up.

“Let’s go to the slide,” Immy cries when the swing stops.

“Okay, baby.”

I follow her over and spend the next hour playing catch with her. By the time we’re done, I’m exhausted. We get ice cream and then head back home, so she can have a nap.

The moment she’s down, I start thinking about my next move. I need to talk to Max, for real, not just a yelling match. I need answers. I need to know what happened that night. I need to know what the hell went wrong.

“Hey.”

I look up from my spot on the sofa and see Pippa leaning against the wall.

“Hey, Pip.” I force a smile.

She walks in and sits down beside me. “How are you feeling?”

“You mean after I had a screaming match with my husband last night?”

She nods. “Yeah. You were so upset. I’ve been so worried.”

“I screwed up big time, Pip. I hurt him, and I didn’t even realize I had been doing it.”

“I heard a fair bit of what was said; it was hard to miss. How did what he said make you feel?”

I cross my legs and stare down at my hands. “Like a damned fool. He’s right; I ran when things got hard.”

“You had your reasons. I don’t think it was entirely your fault or his; I think you were both suffering and things were hard.”

“But to just disappear in his time of need and then return five years later with a child . . . that seems so wrong the more I think about it.”

She reaches over and takes my hand. “You both made mistakes, and you did what you thought you had to at the time. Take it from me—sometimes you don’t realize what you’re doing is wrong until it’s thrown in your face. You went on instinct; you wanted to protect your little girl. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.”

“He was breaking,” I say, and my voice hitches. “And I let him down.”

“Oh, honey.”

“I have to fix this, Pippa, but I don’t know how.”

“The only way to fix it is to talk it out with him, but right now I think you both need time.”

I look her in the eyes. “I don’t think I have time. I’m going to see him on the weekend, Pippa. I have to finish this, for the sake of Imogen.”

She smiles and squeezes my hand. “You do what you have to do.”

She pulls me close and I hug her.

I pray I’m doing the right thing.

––––––––

CHAPTER ELEVEN

THEN - TWO YEARS LATER

B
elle laughs as I get down on my knee, staring up at her. She doesn’t think I’m serious, but I am. I want to marry this girl more than I want my next breath. I stare up into her crystal blue eyes and I know she’s the only thing I’ll ever keep fighting for. Every single year that passes, my love for her gets stronger, deeper, more intense, until I think it can’t get any better.

But it always does.

Now I’m on one knee in front of her. We’re at the park and have been swinging on the swings like little children. We do these kinds of things a lot, and I fucking love her for bringing the simplest things to life, making them seem so fun you wondered how you ever lived without them.

“Max.” She laughs, staring down at me, her eyes bright. “Stop messing around.”

“What makes you think I’m kidding, Blue Belle?” I ask, my face serious.

Her laughter fades and her eyes start sparkling with tears. “Max,” she croaks.

“You didn’t think I’d go the rest of my life without making you mine, did you?”

She presses a hand over her mouth and a tear spills over.

“Fuck, Blue Belle, you’re so damned cute it hurts my heart. I don’t think I could physically live any day without you in it. You make everything . . .” My voice trails off as emotion gets thick in my throat.

Shit, I’m not doing a good job of this.

I reach into my pocket and pull out the tiny ring box I have been carrying around for two months now, trying to figure out the perfect time. I don’t know why today became that perfect time, but it did, and I needed to show her exactly how much she’s changed my life during the last three years. She’s been everything I ever needed and more.

“Max,” she says again, her voice tight. “You’re killing me here.”

I laugh thickly and reach for her hand, bringing it down. “It’s basic really, Blue Belle. If you have me, I’ll do everything in my power to make your life the best it can be. If you won’t have me, I’ll probably die.”

She laughs softly. “You’re not giving me much choice, are you?”

I grunt. “Doesn’t appear so, but I only want the truest answer, the one from your heart. Will you marry me?”

She smiles, big and beautiful. “You silly fool, you could have asked three years ago and I would have said yes.”

I chuckle and pop the ring box open, fighting back my emotion as I pull the simple diamond band out and slide it on her finger. She makes a sobbing sound as it slides on perfectly. I get up off my knee and pull her into my arms, staring down into the eyes I’ve come to love so deeply.

“Thanks for tripping in the hall that day.” I grin down at her.

“Thanks for tripping me.”

I press my forehead to hers, and we stand, looking into each other’s eyes.

Yep, best day of my life.

~*~*~*~

THEN – MARRIED LIFE – MAX

I
walk in the front door, filthy from a day working in the garage. I can smell freshly baked cookies and I grin. Belle loves to spoil me when I come home from work, and she’s forever baking or creating something. I round the corner into our kitchen and see her leaning over the side of the counter, legs swinging in the air, as she tries to get something from the sink. It would be a whole lot easier for her to just walk around and search, but not my Belle—she does everything the most difficult way.

I walk up behind her and put both of my hands on her ass. She squeals and lifts her head, looking over her shoulder. She’s got flour on her nose. Fucking cute. I squeeze her ass, feeling my dick get hard in my pants. Five years we’ve been together, and fuck, I still want her as much as I did the day I met her. I press myself against her and she stops what she’s doing, and her eyes grow hooded.

“Makin’ me cookies again, beautiful?”

She smiles.

“Are you tryin’ to make me fat?”

She giggles and spins around, wrapping her legs around my waist. “Of course. If I don’t ruin you for other women, how will I ever survive?”

I grin and lean down, kissing her hard. She reaches up and curls her fingers into my hair. She doesn’t care that I’m dirty, or covered in grease. No, Belle takes me any way I come. She says she loves the way I smell when I’ve just finished work, and I spend most afternoons deep inside my wife because she can’t get enough of me. It’s usually hard against the counter or over the couch.

“I’d love to enjoy our usual afternoon romp . . .” She smiles. “But I can’t.”

I bite her lower lip. “Why not?”

“Aunt Flow is in town.”

I pull my head back and meet her eyes. “Blue Belle, did you just call your period Aunt Flow?”