How to Fall in Love (36 page)

I feel him there, hot and ready, and fear swells in my chest. Will this hurt? If so, will it last a long time? Will it be over quick? Will I enjoy it?

Rainer must notice my panic, because he stops the soft sucking on my neck and he cups my face in his hands. “You doin’ okay, sweetheart?”

“Y-y-y-yeah. I’m nervous, Rai.”

“Don’t be. I won’t hurt you.”

“You might not get to decide that.”

He presses his forehead to mine. “Then I’ll do everything I can not to hurt you.”

“Okay.”

“Do you trust me?”

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

He kisses my lips softly, then he shifts, taking his jeans into his hand and pulling out a condom. I swallow and start to tremble as he tears the packet open and puts it on. My heart is pounding when he brings himself over me again. I don’t know how this is going to feel. I want it to be incredible, but I know it rarely ever works like that.

“Relax, Emy,” he murmurs, meeting my eyes. “You need to relax for me.”

“I’m scared.”

He strokes a piece of hair from my face. “I’d never hurt you. If it’s awful, I’ll stop, immediately.”

I nod, and he brings his lips to mine softly as he gently spreads my legs apart farther. He presses his erection to my entrance, and I shudder at the pressure. Gently, he pushes forward. At first, it doesn’t seem too awful, but then he pops past something and pain explodes in my body. “Rainer,” I cry out, pressing my hands over my face.

“Jesus, sorry,” he says, stopping as he promised he would.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper between shaky sobs. “I didn’t realize it would hurt so much.”

“I’ve got an idea. Hang on.”

He pulls back a little and reaches down between us, placing a finger over that aching nub. He rotates gently and pleasure shoots through my core. I close my eyes, forgetting the pain and focusing only on the pleasure. He keeps doing that, and at the same time, he pushes himself inside me. It’s uncomfortable, but so much less when he’s doing that.

“Rainer,” I gasp when he slides into me, right into me.

“God, Emy, you feel so fucking amazing.”

“I . . .” My body arches up as he rubs a little harder. “Oh God.”

I explode around him and while I’m doing that, he starts thrusting. I’m wet and ready for him, so his thrusts glide in and out with ease. A gasp escapes my throat at the feeling of fullness I experience, but that quickly subsides into a slight tingle of pleasure. It’s not enough to take me over the edge, but it’s pleasant, and that’s good for my first time.

What I focus mostly on, is Rainer. His big body moves over mine like a graceful lion. His sleek muscles pull and flex as he shifts. He works his hips slowly, not pushing too hard, not going too fast. I reach up and cup his face, and we kiss during each beautiful thrust. He groans against my mouth and I shiver, knowing that my body is making him feel good right now. That’s amazing.

“Rainer,” I breathe against his mouth. “Does it feel good?”

“God, yes, baby,” he pants. “Amazing.”

He picks up the pace a little and his fingers tangle in my hair. He crushes his lips down over mine again, and this time his body shudders to a stop and his lips part against mine on a ragged gasp, and I know, I just know, he’s coming. For me. In me. My body warms and my heart swells with pride and happiness. As he slumps down over me, kissing my neck and stroking my hair, I know . . . I know I’ve finally found it.

My happy place.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

NOW – MALI

“Rainer,” I gasp, slapping my hand against the bricks over and over as he drives into me.

We’re out the back of his bar, in the dark, and he’s got me pressed against the wall. My front is facing it, and he’s fucking me from behind, his big body molded against mine, his cock driving in and out of my flesh. He feels incredible, so damned incredible. I’ve come once already, but tonight he’s insatiable. He doesn’t want to stop, and I don’t want him to. He’s holding back, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of me.

He’s meant to be working, but that stopped as soon as I walked in the bar. Our eyes met, and before I knew what was happening, he was dragging me out the back, hot lips crushed against mine, big hands jerking my dress up. I’ve never been fucked so thoroughly in my life, and I can’t get enough. I want more—I want it all and then some.

“So fuckin’ sweet,” he grunts against me, driving his cock into my body as if it’s the last chance he’ll have to do so.

Rainer and I have been fucking regularly for more than two weeks now, and it’s getting better and better with every single passing minute. After he opened up and told me what happened, we’ve just been getting closer. He spends nights with me, and I come to the bar to hang out with him a lot. We talk easily, effortlessly, and it’s amazing.

“I can’t come again, honey,” I breathe, slapping the wall once more.

“Give me one more, babe,” he grinds out as he pounds his hips into mine. “One more.”

“Please,” I mewl.

He grabs a handful of my ass in his hands and squeezes hard. I shudder and rasp, “Spank it.”

He stops thrusting a second, as if I’ve shocked him, but it doesn’t last long. Soon he’s fucking deep again, only this time he brings his hand down over my ass. I gasp and moan, low and deep, and he does it again, and again, and again, until I’m screaming his name again, exploding around his cock. He bellows my name, and then he’s driving his cock harder and deeper as he finds his own release.

Holy shit.

Sex with him just gets hotter and hotter.

When he’s come down from his high, he slowly pulls out of me and slides my dress down. Then he spins me around and cups my jaw with his big hand. I look up into his eyes. God, I love him. More than I should. He still hasn’t kissed me, and that bothers me, but I don’t push. I should have told him by now, I should have confessed who I am, but the more time I spend with him, the harder it gets.

I just want to love him, and maybe I want him to love me without knowing who I am. It’s stupid, I know that, but it’s all I’ve got.

“I finish in two hours. Do you want to get dinner and then come to my place?”

Dinner? His place? He’s never taken me to his place. He’s never asked me on a date. My heart swells.

“You want to take me to dinner?”

He nods, pressing his lips to my forehead. “Is that such a shock?”

“I just . . . thought we were casual.”

“Maybe I’m changing my mind,” he murmurs, staring into my eyes. “Maybe I want to see where it can go.”

Oh. My. God. I am silently screaming inside, but I keep it cool and smile. “Well then, it’s a date.”

I grin and he winks at me, before adjusting his clothing and making sure mine is respectable. Then we head back inside. He goes back to the bar, puts on his charming smile, and keeps working. I watch him, my heart swelling with pride as I take him in, loving how he interacts with these people. He’s made for it, even if he doesn’t see it.

“You know him?”

I flinch and turn, seeing a gorgeous man with the most amazing amber eyes I’ve ever seen sitting beside me at the bar.

“Oh, yeah. Do you?”

He grins. Gosh he’s good looking. And huge. So many muscles.

“Yeah, I’ve fought with him once. I’m passing back through town, thought I’d come and say hello.”

“Oh, well, I’m um . . . his . . .” I trail off, because I don’t know how to answer that. The man grins and extends his hand.

“It’s cool, I get it. I’m Raide.”

Raide. Cool name.

“Mali.” I smile, reaching out and taking his hand, shaking it.

“Good to meet you, Mali. Any friend of Rainer’s is a friend of mine.”

“So you fight with Max, then?”

He shrugs. “I have. It’s a lot of fun. I’m passing through town now, so I won’t be staying.”

“Fun?” I giggle. “Fighting is fun?”

His grin gets bigger, and he’s got dimples. Holy shit. Dimples.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“You like being beaten up?”

He chuckles. “No, I like the adrenaline. It’s good stress relief.”

“Whatever you say, dude.”

“Raide?”

We both turn to see Rainer approaching, dishtowel thrown over his shoulder, bottle of whiskey in his hands. He looks amazing.

“What’s up, Rainer?” Raide says, standing and extending his hand.

“Haven’t seen you for a bit. Where’d you get to?”

“Had to get out of town, you know? Just passing through. I’ll be gone in a few hours.”

“Sit down. Let me get you a whiskey.”

Raide sits back down and Rainer gets him a whiskey, sliding the crystal glass in front of him.

“How have things been, buddy?” Raide asks, and I smile, listening to them catch up.

It’s nice.

“Mali!”

I turn at the sound of a voice and see Pippa and Belle coming in. Belle is waving, her hands in the air, happy as can be, but Pippa looks sad. She’s not smiling, her eyes are downcast, and something is definitely off. I stand and walk over, hugging Belle and then turning to Pippa. “Hey, Pip, are you okay?”

She looks up and forces a smile. “Sure,” she croaks.

I put an arm around her shoulders. “Are you sure?”

“Her and Tyke had a massive fight. I brought her here to take her mind off it.”

“Well, I’ll be glad to help with that,” I say, smiling at Belle.

“Pip?”

I turn and see Rainer walking over, his expression concerned. I remove my arm from Pippa’s shoulder and she immediately rushes towards him, throwing her arms around his neck and bursting into a fit of tears. My heart aches for her; clearly, the fight was horrible. I meet Rainer’s eyes while rubbing her back gently. He’s so . . . worried about her.

“Come on, let’s find somewhere to talk.”

He leads her away and I watch them go, my heart aching a little. He cares so much about her, so damned much. I understand it now, but it still hurts because I wonder if he’ll ever love anyone else again. Even if he decided to care about me, would it ever be enough?

“Let’s get a drink,” Belle says, pulling me to the bar.

We reach it and she notices Raide, and right away her eyes widen. “Raide, what are you doing here?”

I guess they know each other.

“Just havin’ a drink. How’re you doing, woman?”

She grins and slides in beside him. “I’m awesome. Has the law caught up to you yet?”

He chuckles. “Not yet, sweetheart.”

“I’m telling you, they’re going to send a female bounty hunter after your ass. You never know. It could be Mali here.”

I snort. “I couldn’t tackle a grown man to save my life. Sorry, dude, it isn’t me, and I don’t even want to know why you would have a bounty hunter after you.”

Raide grins. “Long story.”

I chat with Raide and Belle for the next hour, and in that time I keep glancing back to see if Rainer comes back in, but he doesn’t. Needing to pee, I get up and head towards the toilets, pushing through the crowds of people to make it to the back door. I’m using the outdoor ones—no way am I lining up. As I step outside, I catch sight of Pippa and Rainer standing near the brick wall he just fucked me against, his arms around her, both of them unaware that I’m there. I can’t help it; I stop and listen.

“He’ll come around, Pip,” Rainer says to her, stroking her hair.

“Maybe, but what if he doesn’t, Rainer? What am I going to do if he decides this is over between us?” she sobs.

“Then you’ll have me. I’ll always take care of you.”

“I can’t ask that of you. I can’t.”

“You’ll always be the most important thing in my life, Pippa. I’ll have your back if he doesn’t. I’ll always be here.”

My heart aches at his words, and I can’t make my feet move. I need to push away and walk inside, but I just can’t.

“You can’t always keep waiting for me, Rainer,” she says, looking up into his eyes. “You have Mali now. She cares about you.”

“Mali is nothing more than a bit of fun. You’re the only one who means anything to me, sweetheart.”

It feels as if someone has slapped me clean across the face. I don’t understand. He said we were going to look at taking things further, but now he’s saying I’m nothing more than a bit of fun. As always, he’s protecting Pippa. He’s always going to protect Pippa. God, what was I thinking? When did I ever believe he was going to change that?

I turn and rush inside, angry tears flowing down my cheeks. I run into Raide shoving through the crowd, and he curls his fingers around my arms, stopping me. “Whoa there, what’s wrong?”

“Let me go. I need to get out of here,” I cry, horrified.

I mean nothing. Nothing at all. I’m just a sex toy. I’m so stupid. So blind.

“Calm down, you’re not going anywhere like this. Tell me what’s wrong?”

“He doesn’t even care about me,” I sob angrily, pushing at Raide’s chest. “He’s been fucking me for close to a month, and he doesn’t care. When did I think I mattered? I don’t matter.”

“We’re talking about Rainer?”

“Yes,” I sob, giving up my fighting.

“He cares about you.”

“He does not. I just heard him say to Pippa I’m nothing more than a bit of fun. A bit of fun!”

The words cause pain to stab through my chest, right to my broken heart.

“He looks at you like you’re a lot more than that.”

“You’re blind. Let me go, Raide. I need to leave.”

“I know you don’t know me, but do you trust me?”

I stop fighting and look up at him, my eyes blurry with tears. He reaches up and swipes them away.

“I . . . I guess.”

“Sometimes a man doesn’t realize what he’s missing until it’s shoved in his face.”

“I don’t understand.”

Raide looks around the room, and his eyes focus on something. “He’s just walked back in. You say he doesn’t care about you. We’re about to find out.”

Raide curls his fingers around the back of my head and brings his lips down over mine. I’m so shocked for a moment that I can’t think—I just stand there, frozen. Then I realize what he’s doing and I respond, moving my mouth against his. He’s one hell of a kisser—his lips are soft, his tongue is skilled and he’s got an amazing, big, hard body to go with it. I actually forget the world for a second.

He pulls back and grins down at me. “You’re welcome.”