Read How to Outswim a Shark Without a Snorkel Online
Authors: Jess Keating
Barracudas are capable of swimming at speeds of twenty-five miles an hour.
âAnimal Wisdom
Ashley and I shoved the door open just in time to see Danielle, Logan's perfectly perky and porcelain-skinned girlfriend, being marched away by two zoo security guards.
“Right this way, miss!” the guard said in a deep voice, while another held open the door for them. But Danielle wasn't having it. She yanked herself away from him, stumbling through the crowd, trying to get away.
“Let me go right
now
, you jerk! I didn't do anything! You have no right!” she wailed. In the throes of yelling her head off, I have to say: she didn't seem that glamorous anymore.
Beside me, Ashley gripped my arm. “Oh my God!” she hissed. “I
told
you that girl was trouble! I wonder what happened?!” She giggled and gave me a sneaky grin of satisfaction. We both took a few steps closer to better hear what was going on.
The guard shook his head, getting a grip on Danielle's arm. “Enough, miss. Ma'am, we've got her.” Danielle seemed to realize that struggling was creating more of a scene. Instead, she glared angrily as the guard steered her out.
Patricia nodded solemnly at the door. “That's her. She was in here last night, fiddling with the locks,” she said.
I watched in awe as the two guards escorted Danielle out the door, navigating through the zoo visitors. It was the first time I'd ever seen someone in trouble with the police, and I have to admit, the whole thing was a little thrilling.
“What happened?” Ashley dragged me over to Patricia. Now that Danielle was out of there, everyone seemed to be pretty amused by the whole thing. Eye rolls and embarrassed smiles filled the room, and people went back to leaning over the shark tank and exploring the tide pool. To them, it was an exciting day at the zoo.
Patricia wrapped her arm around me. “Shep told me that we had cameras installed to document the exhibit being built. Guess who we saw unlocking the crabs when I checked the tapes?” She shook her head, disappointed.
“Danielle?!” I said. I darted a look at Ashley. “Why would she do that?”
Patricia's eyebrows narrowed. “It seems she's working on a little
exposé
of zoos for her college newspaper. Logan said she wasn't finding a good story here apparently, so she thought she'd create one. He caught her in the back rooms alone earlier and got suspicious, then came to me once he figured out what was going on.”
Ashley glared at me, but it was more of a playful “I
told
you so, dimwit” glare, rather than a “you totally suck” glare.
Patricia's face reddened. “I'm sorry, Ana. I know I blamed you for this, and I shouldn't have. The police asked me not to say anything until we had apprehended her. We could have saved a lot of heartache for you, but Logan was positive she would show up today after I showed him the footage.” She squeezed my shoulder.
“It's okay. I deserved it. I shouldn't have blamed Ashley either.” I was starting to notice that the more I admitted this horrible truth, the easier it was.
“It's been an exciting day, girls,” Patricia said. “You should go and enjoy the rest of it! And, Ana, you need a shower. You smell like shark food,” she joked, pinching her nose together.
“Well, that's nothing new,” Ashley quipped as Patricia hustled back inside.
“So,” Ashley said, leaning against the outer wall of the Adventure Zone. She leaned her head back, sunning herself for a moment. “I have a question.”
“Yeah?” I asked. I rubbed my hair with a towel and tried to get the last of the shark water from my ear.
“You said you thought I unlocked that door to sabotage you.”
I winced. “Yeah. I did. It was stupid, I know.”
“No, it's not that. I'm just wondering.” She bit her lip. “Why would you jump into the tank then? If you thought I did that to you,
why
wouldn't you let me read your dumb book, then? You had no way of knowing it was Danielle⦔
I nodded. “Even if it
was
you, I didn't want to ruin your presentation. I might have even deserved it,” I said.
“I don't get it.” Her face softened a notch.
“All this time I've been thinking you've been a jerk to me for years. And yeah, you sort of have been.” I tugged at the hem of my damp shirt, wringing out some of the water. “But I wasn't seeing that I'd also been a huge jerk to you. I'm sorry about the whole crocodile thing,” I said. “At my first presentation, I mean. I shouldn't have grabbed you from the crowd. I'm sorry you got embarrassed.”
I hesitated. There was something else. I didn't want to miss this chance again. “And I'm sorry I call you a Sneerer,” I said. “I have no idea when I started that, but I'm sorry.”
She curled her lip. “I probably deserved it too.”
“Honestly, that's why I thought you were here in the first place. To get revenge on me for how I embarrassed you in that presentation!”
Her eyes dropped, suddenly glistening with what looked an awful lot like tears.
“What is it?” I asked.
She straightened her shoulders, and the fiery look returned to her face. “I'm here because I didn't have a choice.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“My parents saw your presentation that day,” she said. “At the end of school, I mean. They wanted me to be
confident
like you and said this would be a great place to do it. They wouldn't take no for an answer,” she explained. “They said I could learn a lot from this place. And from you.” She tried to smile, but it got lost in her eyes.
I swallowed hard as she hastily swiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. I didn't know what to say. I was proud, I guess. If Ashley's parents thought I was cool enough to be around, then that was good, right?
But a big part of me was sad. I couldn't imagine my mom telling me to be more like some other kid. That would make me feel rotten.
More
than rotten. I'd just spent the summer
trying
to be someone I'm not and hating every minute of it, and here Ashley's parents were encouraging it?
“I'm sorry,” I said. “For what it's worth, you're pretty much
the
most confident person I know, so⦔ I wanted to boost her up a little but had the feeling there was a lot about Ashley that I still didn't understand.
She shrugged, facing me again. “I've had fun here. I didn't think I would. Especially when Brooke and Rayna took off for the summer. I thought it would be smelly and weird,” she said. “Like you!” She smirked, but it wasn't long until her face dissolved back into a genuine smile. “But it was seriously great.”
“I'm glad.”
“Your brother is insane,” Ashley added, swiveling her head to watch Daz file out of the Adventure Zone after Bella. He had a stuffed octopus on his head.
“You know,” I said, “that is something we will always agree on.”
Her eyes darted behind me. “Um, I have to go,” she said suddenly. She brushed off her shirt and started to walk away.
I blinked. “What? Why don't we hang out or something?”
But Ashley shook her head and gave me a pointed look. “Maybe later,” she said. On her way brushing past me, she whispered, “Fluff your hair up.”
I gulped, whipping my hands to my hair.
There was only one person it could be.
I tried to look calm and collected as Kevin peeked around the sign to find me. For the record, it's hard to act like you're surprised to see someone when you've secretly spent the past fifteen seconds trying not to look like a drowned mop
for
them.
“Nice presentation,” he said, gesturing inside the exhibit. He settled against the wall, keeping a couple feet between us. Already my mind was spinning, trying to guess his thoughts. Did he think I was an even bigger fool now? Did he forgive me for the head-butting?
“I just wanted to make sure you were okay,” he said.
I grimaced. “Oh, you know. I felt like a swim, that's all.” I tried to act nonchalant, but with the dripping water everywhere, it was pretty hard to pull off.
His mouth quirked into a smile. “So I was thinking,” he said. “About that kiss⦔
My heart began to pound. “Oh yeah?”
What
do
I
do? What do I say?
“You really caught me off guard with the wholeâ¦uh, nosebleed thing.” He fiddled with his hands as he spoke, picking at his thumbnail. “I know it was Liv's idea, and I don't know if you actually
wanted
to⦔
I cringed. I didn't want to talk about that horrible nosebleed incident ever again, but especially not when I had overcooked spaghetti hair and reeked of sharks.
“But if you do want to, I mean⦔ He looked around nervously. “We can if you want.” His eyes brightened as he turned to face me. His cheeks were bright red. “I mean, what guy wouldn't want to kiss the girl who was brave enough to swim with sharks?”
My jaw dropped. Did he just say what I think he said?! I replayed every word, making sure I hadn't heard them in the wrong order or something because of the shark water in my ears.
OH
MY
GOD. BE COOL. BE COOL.
I couldn't stop myself from beaming.
He
wanted
to
kiss
me.
The words skipped through my head like a pixie on a sugar rush. “It was hardly swimming,” I joked. “More like floundering pathetically.”
I gave myself a million points for getting that sentence out without completely flipping from excitement. If I wasn't going out of my way to stand still, I would have been jumping for joy in a super-embarrassing victory dance right now.
He nodded. “I'm glad you're okay. Like I said, I wanted you to know.” He brushed his hair from his eyes and gave me that funny little grin of his.
I smiled back, but despite how amazing it was to hear it, something about this didn't feel right. And after the summer I'd had, I was getting a little too used to that feeling.
A strange calm settled over me as I realized what felt so off. I didn't want to let Liv decide when I had my first kiss.
Or my first
anything
.
“You know what?” I said. “If it's okay with you, I'd rather not have my first kiss covered in shark water and smelling like fish,” I said, letting out my breath.
For the first time I wasn't worried what he would think. I wasn't worried about Liv, who was probably going to get her first kiss any moment with that Ryan guy in the movie theater, and I wasn't worried about any stupid pact.
I knew what
I
wanted. I wanted to be me, and I wanted to kiss Kevin when I was good and ready.
And ideally without shark poop up my nose or anything.
Kevin laughed. “Yet you're fine with smelling like a perfume explosion.”
I nudged him with my shoulder, leaving a wet mark on his shirt. “I know. I messed up a lot of things this summer. I don't want my first kiss to be one of them, I guess.”
“I like you, Ana,” he said softly. “You're an absolute
nutcase
. But I like you. I just thought you should know that, in case you're wondering. I know I was,” he said, kicking at the dirt. “I mean, before the whole bookstore thing,” he added.
A hot blush of embarrassment washed over me, as I remembered how much I'd tried to change this summer. To get kissed for the kiss pact. To seem cool in front of Logan. But with Kevin, I didn't need to do any of that.
I could just be me.
“And whenever
you
want to kiss? I'm okay with that.” He stared at a bird perched on a picnic table in front of us, pecking away at some abandoned fries. “Just don't head-butt me or anything, okay?” His eyebrows lifted hopefully.
Now
I
was definitely blushing.
“I like you too,” I said.
Yep, my face was definitely boiling.
I know it wasn't kissing, but hearing Kevin say he liked me was probably
the
coolest thing ever. It was better than a kiss right now because it was
real
and not forced and only him and me without anybody else mucking it up. I wanted to take this moment and put it in a jar and keep it forever, so I could pull it out and relive it a thousand times over.
“I should go,” he said, glancing back toward the door. “Your folks are waiting for you inside. See you at dinner tonight? They invited me out with your grandpa and Sugar.” He stood up and flashed me his very best dimply smile.
“For sure,” I said, tucking my towel closer. “See you later.”
He waved good-bye, and I watched as he walked away from the Adventure Zone, disappearing from view.
And you know what?
I'd
love
to say that I kept my cool and was all sophisticated and chill when he was gone. But I was done trying to be something I wasn't.
The truth is, the moment Kev was out of sight, I collapsed into a pile of squealing happiness and spazzy giggles like an absolute loon, right next to the sign about great white shark anatomy.
Some things never change, right?
Top Three Coolest Things about This Summer
1. Kevin. Because OH MY GOD. He likes me. HE LIKES ME! And who cares if I didn't kiss him yet?! Because HE LIKES MEEEE.
2. Ashley. I know. I never saw it coming either. But she's seriously cool and can pick a swimsuit like a pro too.
3. Daz. Possibly the biggest surprise of all. But he really came through for me, and it wasn't his fault he couldn't get that gate open. Is it possible my brother's been replaced by an actualâ¦
human
?
Despite its size, the manta ray is a harmless filter feeder with no teeth.
âAnimal Wisdom
This makes me wonder what else seems super scary but is actually harmless. Do you think eighth grade seems worse than it really is?
T-minus fourteen minutes until school starts.
Sometimes, it hits me that I'm almost friends with Ashley. Well, not even
almost
.
Turns out that jumping into a shark tank to save someone's feelings can make friends out of enemies.
CREATURE FILEâREVISED EDITION!
SPECIES NAME:
Ashleydae Reignus Ashleydae Surprisia
KINGDOM:
Pretty much wherever she is, she owns it.
PHYLUM:
People Who Turn Out Not-so-Bad After All; (still an apex member of Swim Team Goddesses, though.)
WEIGHT:
Yep, still perfect.
NATURAL HABITAT:
I'm sure she still likes all the same places as before, but I bet you can add the Marine Adventure Zone to this list! She even became an official “zoo ambassador” for the rest of the year!
FEEDS ON:
Shopping trips (don't forget the squat test), burritos, books about sharks (who knew?!), shiny lip gloss, and surprisingly corny jokes.
LIFE SPAN:
previous calculation of witchlike immortality likely wrong; turns out she's a human like the rest of us.
HANDLING TECHNIQUE:
Only bites when backed into a corner. Can also be bribed with pictures of Logan in a wetsuit.
*NOTES* ASHLEYDAY SURPRISIA CAN ALWAYS BE DEPENDED ON FOR WARDROBE CHECKS, EXTRA LIP GLOSS, TOUGH LOVE PEP TALKS, AND TOKEN EYE ROLLS WHEN YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A BIT OF A TURD.
To anyone watching, we might have been friends for years. I mean, sure, there are times when I look at her and roll my eyes because she says something that sounds shallow. I don't think she even means to sound that way. It's just hard to kick the habit of noticing it. But there are also times where she gives me
a
look
because I'm being super nerdy or talking about elephant poop.
But my other friends do that too.
Even my own
brother
does that.
I used to always think that friends were something you found when you were younger, and you got closer as you got older together. You either had them, or you didn't. Like with Liv. I always thought because we were best friends, there wasn't room for new friends, especially ones that were formally known as “Sneerers.” And yeah, she still does sneer sometimes, but I'm not about to call her that. I sneer too after all.
Because she does a lot more than sneer too, you know?
I stared up at the building and tried to swallow my fear. “I don't know if I'm ready for this,” I said. “Eighth grade now.” I straightened my shirt and tried to mimic Ashley, who was standing tall. “That's kind of a big deal.”
“That's right.” She grinned. Her hair was glossy and waving in the breeze. “It's going to be
awesome
.”
I thought about Liv, who would be starting her first day of high school soon. I didn't feel as confident as herâthat was for sure. And I definitely didn't feel as confident as Ashley, who was slapping on another coat of lipstick. The other Sneerersâ
noâ
her other
friends,
Brooke and Rayna, weren't here yet. I wasn't sure what would happen once school started and Ashley reunited with her old friends.
But I wasn't as scared to find out now.
“Let's go, Scales.” She pulled me toward the door.
“Hey, wait a minute! We promised no more name-calling!” I pulled myself away from her.
She grinned sneakily. “Whatever. You'll always be Scales to me. Get over it.” She rolled her eyes, and for a brief moment I saw the old Ashley, ready to attack.
I stepped back, my mouth hanging open. “Seriously! After everything, you can't even be nice for two seconds andâ”
“I'm
kidding
, Ana!” she scoffed. “You look cute today, by the way. Your butt especially. That skirt is killer.”
“Hey, guys!” Bella ran up to us, with Daz and Kevin following behind her. Daz was carrying a stack of atlases, and Kevin's hair had been freshly cut for school.
He smiled shyly at me. “Hey, Ana.” My heart fluttered like a hummingbird as he laced his fingers between mine. He didn't even care that Daz was looking! It wasn't a kiss, but that made it even more perfect. You know how when you go to the movies and you're sitting there in the seat, eating your popcorn, and the lights suddenly dim and the sound gets super loud and you get this awesome sense of
here
we
go
because you can't
wait
to see this great movie?
That's
how I felt when Kevin held my hand. Like I was excited and nervous and eager and everything all at the same time. Luckily I wasn't a total freak and didn't actually
say
this, because
hello, mortifying
. But he could probably tell by the way I squeezed his hand back that I was feeling it, though.
“Hey,” Ashley said, snapping me out of my dreamy delirium. She turned to Bella. “You're Bella, right?”
I held my breath, waiting to see how Bella would react. I still wasn't sure how to navigate having friends from totally different circles. It sort of felt like worlds colliding, bashing into each other. I was afraid something was going to explode or catch fire or cause some sort of social earthquake. Bella and I were fine now, but asking her to handle someone like Ashley might be too much.
But I didn't have to worry.
Bella grinned. “Yup. I've got Mrs. Randall first period. How 'bout you guys?” She read from her class schedule, which she'd printed and laminated.
Ashley nodded. “Me too!” She tucked her lipstick into her purse and shook out her hair. “Let's go before the good seats are taken.”
She marched ahead, then turned around to stare at me. “You coming or what?”