Read How To Tame Beasts And Other Wild Things Online
Authors: A. Wilding Wells
It cannot be seen, it weighs nothing, but when put into a barrel, it makes it lighter. What is it?
A hole
Imogene arrives at four on the nose. I’d be lying if I were to say I am anything less than nervous as fuck. My mom joining us for Christmas. My naked knees are knocking. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined anything so amazing. A house full of family. My family.
The boys and I open the front door together to be greeted by Imogene’s sparking eyes and mile-wide smile. We hug in a tear-filled hello.
“Dat her?” Jinx says as Imogene kneels.
“Hi, can I have a hug? I’m your grandma.” Both boys wrap their arms around her neck
. My mom.
Oh, Jesus. Matilda says in a sob as she joins us, “Imogene, Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas,” Imogene replies. “I can’t believe I’m here. Someone pinch me,” she says as my throat contracts.
Jax and Jinx pinch her cheeks to receive a roll of laughter from the rest of us.
“Come on in.” I help her up from the floor. Everit strolls over with raised eyebrows. “This is Matilda’s father, Everit Pearl. Everit, meet my mom, Imogene Cox.”
“Everit, nice to meet you.” A slow smile dances across her face as Everit takes her hand in his and kisses it. Matilda pinches my arm while avoiding my eyes. We gave Everit a solid warning that he would need to be on his best behavior tonight in regards to Matilda and Imogene. Looks like both of my ladies will be getting the royal treatment from him.
“The pleasure is all mine.” They linger in a stare, then Everit helps Imogene with her coat, and bags of gifts she left on the porch. He serves her a drink, then another after Alfie and Duke arrive. Matilda and I chuckle watching Everit fetch Imogene glass after glass of wassail punch as the two of them waltz to the other side of tipsy before we serve dinner. Amazingly he’s been nothing but lovely with Matilda as well. So maybe he needed a distraction in the female form. Can’t say I blame the guy. I was a grouch before Matilda showed up months ago.
As we settle in the dining room on couches and chairs, I raise my glass for a toast. “I’d like to say a few things. As a writer I can be verbose so I’ll do my best to keep this short. First, to all of you, Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” Everyone cheers in return. I raise my glass again, this time to my mom who is seated next to Everit. Jax is on her lap, Jinx is on his. My boys have grandparents. I smile then gather my thoughts. “To Imogene, thank you for being brave, for saying hello, for seeing me.”
Imogene shakes her head as tears stream down her face. Everit hands her a handkerchief from his pocket as she blows me a kiss and mouths, “Thank you.”
“To Everit, for evolving into a good grandfather. Thank you also for trying to see Matilda for the lovely woman that she is. You’ve got work to do, but you’re off to a solid start.”
Everit nods and flips me off, he then looks at Matilda with a wide grin as he sips his drink. Maybe Imogene could come to the farm more often, snake charmer that she’s proving to be. I don’t think Everit has ever smiled so much in one night.
“And then there’s my girl.” Matilda is seated on a chair next to me. I reach out and entwine my fingers with hers. “My girl, who’s taken hold of my heart, my soul, and every bit of space between ’em. I love you, Matilda.”
“I love you, Balthazar.” She beams.
I wave the boys over and grab the box under my chair. “We have a little something for you, love. We took a page out of your book and handcrafted you something fit for a princess. You, pretty eyes, are our princess.”
Matilda giggles then rips into the messily wrapped box. When I place the crown the boys and I made from wire and a bunch of old, sparkly types of pins she likes, onto her head, she laughs.
“This is, oh my goodness.” Her eyes go wide, then she bawls. The boys cry too. They of course think she doesn’t like her “pincess” crown from what I can tell. She jumps up and grabs the boys in her arms singing, “Ring Around the Rosie” until the three of them land on the floor in a mess of love as the boys sing, “Asses, asses, we aw faw down!”
We move to the dining table and everyone cracks open the Christmas popper that sits on their dinner plate. Folded paper crowns and small gold charms litter the table. Everyone promptly unfolds then places the crowns on their heads. Matilda sticks with her fancy crown, looking like The Queen of England holding court. Finally, turkey is cut at the dining table and served along with multiple sides.
Halfway through dinner Imogene’s scarf catches fire from a candle as she leans over the table to hand Jax a spoon. Everit wrestles her down to the ground, spanking her chest with open palms as she gazes at him with a look of surprise.
“Everit, thank you,” she says in a breathy laugh as he helps her off the floor. Their flushed faces and steady eye contact have the rest of us meeting eyes in surprise.
Post dessert, Matilda and the boys call us outside to the porch after having disappeared for ten minutes. The yard beyond is lit with dozens of glowing lunch bags that create a magical effect with the light snow that’s dusting everything with sparkles. The three of them stand in the yard holding hands, donning costumes of capes, swords and tutus, looking like a crew of misfits. My misfits. My family.
“On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a kiss after I slid down the stairs nakedly.” Matilda’s tone-deaf uneven voice makes me grin. The boys jump in and sing with her a few times, but mostly they squirrel around her legs while shaking tambourines. As she rounds the twelfth day, she approaches me. Her hands clutch the front of my blazer, her smiling eyes capture mine, my heart races as she climbs even further inside me.
“On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me my dad for the holidays, his mother too, twins I just adore, and enough happiness with my man for a lifetime…maybe two!”
Christmas morning Matilda sits at the edge of our bed stretching and yawning. “Merry Christmas,” she says then kisses my cheek. After a few more kisses she stands and strolls to our bedroom window. “Holy crap!” Her face is filled with a story, and from the looks of it, I’m about to hear a doozie!
“Santa?” I laugh quietly, throwing my legs over the side of the bed.
“No! I just saw your mom sneak out of my dad’s Airstream.”
I jump up and look out the window to see nothing save footsteps in the snow. “Don’t overreact. She was probably just taking him some Christmas morning coffee.” Though the footsteps are going the wrong way.
She rolls her eyes then presses her face to the glass, fogging it. “Are you seriously that naïve? Where were you last night when my dad was fawning all over Imogene, and didn’t you notice she was eating it like she’s never been flirted with in her life? It’s like they were both high! He was even nice to me. I mean nice.”
“You think she slept out there?”
“Yep. As in don’t come knocking if the camper is rocking.”
I chuckle at the thought of it. Hell, I hardly know my mom. We haven’t exactly had any alone time since she arrived. Maybe I got her libido? “We’re an incestuous bunch, aren’t we?”
As Matilda heads downstairs, I check in on the boys who are miraculously still asleep. After taking a long, hot shower and getting dressed, I sneak down the stairs to find Everit and Matilda walking in the front door and taking off their coats while Imogene sits at the kitchen table having coffee.
“Merry Christmas,” I say.
Matilda hangs her coat on a hook by the door, then passes by me and goes into the pantry without one look at me.
“Merry Christmas to you,” Imogene says. “The boys are still sleeping?”
“Yeah, kind of surprising.” I pour two mugs of coffee then walk into the pantry and hand one to Matilda.
“You guys take a walk? Mending more fences?”
“Um, yeah,” she says over her shoulder as she slides jars of jam around until she takes one off the shelf. “Just a short one.” She spins to face me. Her red eyes and clipped tone along with her tight smile have me curious.
I sweep my hand down her cheek. “Are you okay? You seem off. Was it an argument?”
“No, it was an apology and just some other stuff.” She clears her throat, then walks past me. I follow her out.
“Matilda, you’ll never believe this,” Everit says.
“Tell me?” she answers as she unwraps a coffee cake. My eyes catch a glance at her shaky hands as she twists the plastic wrap with no progress. I take the cake and unwrap it for her.
“Tell her, Imogene, tell her where you’re from.”
“Michigan, Ann Arbor.” Imogene cheers.
“Michigan? Like Dad. A farm as well?” Her exhausted-sounding voice as she answers Imogene surprises me.
“Yes, a horse farm.”
“Any siblings?” Everit asks, looking smitten as he reaches over to stroke her arm. I gawk at their overt friendliness. One night and he’s petting her?
“I had a sister, Hazel,” she says. Then she glances my way. “She was my older sister, died five years ago from cancer.” She clears her throat.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I reach out to touch her hand as I slide the cake to the center of the table, then sit next to her.
“Oh, thanks.” A weak smile forms on her lips. “We hadn’t found our way to much of a relationship, if I’m being honest. That’s the sad part. Then cancer came and took her before we had the chance to… Ah
h…
well. ” She shrugs.
I stand and walk over to Matilda who is mixing orange juice in a pitcher. “Why don’t we move near the Christmas tree, I hear some bumping around upstairs, I would imagine the boys will be down any second.” She nods, then I take the coffee cake and we all saunter into the dining room. Everit and Imogene sit together on the couch in close proximity. Matilda sits on the floor, propped against a chair, with her two pigs flanking her thighs. Her fat, fully trained house pigs. She makes Dr. Doolittle look like an amateur.
The boys scuttle down the stairs a minute later screaming and laughing, landing at the base in a pile, until they race to the Christmas tree. The unwrapping of gifts happens in less than ten minutes. And the rest of us are back to getting to know each other.
“So this bucket list thing you’re embarking on, what’s it going to include?”
She reaches for two slices of coffee cake, handing one to Everit who grins and nods. As a blush creeps up her neck and a smile slides across her lips, she covers it with a bite of cake.
“Well”—she waves a hand—“there are lots of things on my list, the Grand Canyon, California, sky diving. Maybe somewhere along the way I’ll even fall in love.” She looks down at her lap. “I’ve never married, never found the right man. I suppose it’s not too late.”
“Never too late,” Everit says, winking at Imogene. I close my dropped jaw after a few seconds.
Matilda rubs her forehead with her hands. I can’t tell if she’s mad or sad or tired. But no question something is going on that I’m not reading. I’m sure she and Everit had words about something, he can set her off like nothing else.
“I’m going on about myself, and really, it’s you guys I’d love to know more about.” Imogene shuffles in her chair. “Matilda, your dad says you live in Paris. I assumed you lived here. You must love France, when are you going back?”
Matilda focuses on scrubbing the pigs’ bellies. I focus on her, wondering how she’ll answer the question
. Going back.
“Oh, yeah. Paris is lovely.” Her leg bounces as she avoids everyone’s gaze. “I have an apartment there.” She stares at the front door. Is she going to bolt?
Everit clears his throat and stands with a theatrical stretch. Looks like Lavinia got her acting chops elsewhere. Some kind of silent conversation is going on, and I’m not the one having it.
Matilda jumps up with a grunt, hurrying toward the kitchen. “I’m going to put on another pot of coffee, then hop in the shower. Help yourselves in a few minutes when it’s done.”
She disappears for a few hours while I chat with my mom and Everit. Midmorning rolls around and I put the boys down for their nap, then head back down to the kitchen to find Matilda doing dishes. She’s elbow deep in dishwater, with Ruck perched on her shoulder, nibbling at the top of her ear.