Hunter (Broken Bad Boys 1): A New Adult Bad Boy Romance (18 page)

“Ah.” He wipes his hands off on a dish towel. “Tamara called me. Told me you were missing. Asked me if I knew where you were.” He takes the slices of bread from me and puts them to the side as he closes the freezer.

Anger starts to bubble in me. They did what? How could I not have realized this? Okay, I may have been a little distracted by the cold and Hunter’s warm body. But I should have realized this was a set-up.

“You may want to get in touch with your parents.” He looks at me, slightly frowning.

“No.” Definitely no. They’re going to send me away. I’m sure of that.

“At least let me call Lola, so they know you’re safe.”

“No. They want to lock me up. I’m gone now, they should be glad.” Glad that they don’t need to worry about me anymore.

“Of course they’re not glad that you’re gone. Everyone is worried. Lola has called me multiple times, as has Tamara and even Hanna. They need to know you’re safe. Even if you don’t want to speak to them. Don’t let them worry like this.”

“They can worry for a while longer.” I cross my arms in front of my chest. I’m not doing this.

“They’ve worried for hours. I think it’s time to tell them you’re safe, even if you don’t want to actually talk to them.” He lets out a sigh, and I can see how much it hurts him. “Don’t let them think something bad happened to you.”

Fuck. Of course. I reach out to him taking his hand in mine. There is nothing as bad for a parent as losing their child. “I don’t want to talk to them.”

“I’ll call Lola. Yeah?” He grabs the phone from the table. “Just Lola.”

“Don’t tell her I’m here.” I don’t want her to suddenly show up.

“Okay.” He scrolls through the phone and then puts it to his ear. “Lola? … Yeah. It’s okay. I’ve found her.” He looks at me for a moment. “No, she doesn’t want to talk. She just wants you to know that she’s safe. … No. I can’t do that. … I know. Just know that she’s okay, yeah?” He starts to frown as he eyes my bag and then at me. That can’t be good. “Okay. I’ll let her know. Talk to you later.” And he hangs up. He takes a deep breath and then steps closer before shaking his head. “Lola said that you talked to a doctor today?”

Fuck. Why would she share that with him? Why would Lola even know? I walk to the other side of the room, as far away from him as possible.

“Lizzy.” There is no patience in his voice and it’s scary, I’ve never seen him angry like this. “Did you, or did you not?”

“Yes.” I can’t look at him.

“For what?”

She didn’t tell him? Of course, she’d leave that up to me. “It’s because of my illness. It was my monthly check-up.”

“So? Why would she be worried about that? You’re doing fine, right?”

I can’t lie, not when he sounds like this, like a big brother. I shake my head. “I’ve lost weight.”

It gets really quiet. This is almost as scary as Hunter’s anger before. I slowly turn around. Hunter is standing in the middle of the room, his face ashen, his eyes big. Then he puts his hand over his face before he lets out a shuddering breath. I can almost see the fears going on, rushing through his body, the way his body tenses, the way he stands really still.

“H?” I try, but he puts his hand up.

“No. Not now.” He turns away, back to his dishes. He starts cleaning again, but when I step closer to help him out, he shakes his head. So instead, I sit down on the couch.

I don’t know what to do, so I just look around, trying to sit still as much as possible. The little platform upstairs seems to hold art supplies. I see an easel and some paper hanging on a wall.

“What happened?” Hunter’s voice is weary, tired.

“I…” What happened? Lots of things happened. Stress, college, meeting Hunter. But there is one thing that is the actual cause of this. “I stopped being strict. I started to go easy on myself.”

“You’re easy on yourself when you don’t eat?” I get that he’s confused. Lots of people get confused by that.

“I know all these things about food, I know how many calories they’re worth, all that. It’s easier to just eat the fewest I can eat instead of actually figuring out what I’m supposed to eat.” It’s actually quite simple, but the counting has been so strongly part of my life that sneaking around and taking out just a few calories here and there really adds up over time.

“Can I ask, how much did you lose?”

“Four pounds.”

“What?!” He turns to me, but I can’t look at him now. “How do you
just
…” Then he stops. “No.” He comes over, kneeling in front of me. “Lola said that the doctor gave you a food schedule?”

I nod. “It’s in the bag.”

“Is it okay if I look at it?”

Panic spikes, but I push it down, instead nodding.

Hunter goes over to my bag and opens it. He frowns as he looks inside. He pulls out the schedule and looks at it. “I think I can make you a dinner from one of these. Is that okay?”

I’m not sure what to do, so I shrug. “Which one?”

“Well, a modified version anyway. There is a pasta with some sauce on here. I don’t have the exact pasta, but we can make do, right?” He looks up at me. “Earlier on, you were panicking, saying things I didn’t understand. But I guess that if we want to avoid them, we need to stick to this, right?”

I nod. I guess… yeah. I’m the stupid one for running off. I should have stayed, but I was just too scared that they’d send me away. I couldn’t risk being send to a clinic, so I ran off. How grown-up.

I
’m still freaking
out about the things Lizzy told me, and especially the things she didn’t tell me. I thought that she was acting a bit differently lately, but self-absorbed as I’ve been, I assumed that it was my fault. How blind have I been? I can’t let another girl die just because I’m not paying enough attention. I finish the last bit of the sauce for the pasta, stepping aside and looking at Lizzy, who cleaned up my dining table.

Lizzy sits there, looking at her phone. When she turned it back on, a whole flood of messages came in. And even now I heard it make a couple of sounds while I was cooking.

“Lizzy.”

She looks up at me, her eyes far away before she focuses on me. “Yeah?”

“Dinner is ready, you can grab a plate. I trust that you’ll be honest with it?” I know that anorexia is a mental illness, not so much a physical one. And everything that has happened lately sort of reinforced that. She’s not been eating right, and no-one seemed to notice until she stepped on the scales.

“Yes.” There is some annoyance in her voice, but at the same time, she stands up and comes over to look at the food I made. “Do you have kitchen scales?”

“Yes, in the cupboard.” I grab it for her and put it down. Then I make myself scarce for a moment while she does her thing. Ever since I’ve known about what’s wrong with Lizzy I’ve been looking up anorexia, learning about it. I knew some things from being friends with Lola, but not everything. And there was so much more, about food habits, about sneaky ways that anorexia can come back without people even realizing it. When I hear Lizzy put the plate down on the table, I come back over. “Is it okay if I join you?” Sure, she ate at the same table as her family, but that doesn’t mean that she’ll do the same thing with me.

Lizzy nods, her eyes still on the plate in front of her.

I dump the rest of the food on a plate and sit across from her. It isn’t much, but I only need about half a dinner anyway.

Lizzy slowly and quietly starts to eat, her focus on the food in front of her. I can’t keep my eyes off of her, the way she moves, the way she concentrates. Her eyes flick up at me and I quickly look away. “Don’t stare.”

“I wasn’t… I was only staring because I like looking at you.” I shrug, starting to eat.

“It’s still creepy.”

“Fine. Fine. Just promise me that you’ll let me draw you some day.”

“
Some
day, not today.” She smiles now and relaxes, then she yawns.

“I’ll clean up my bed, so you can sleep there for the night.”

“What? No, I’ll take the couch, I’m small enough. You don’t have to do that, I’m the one imposing on you.” She eats the last bits from her plate and then looks around.

“You’re gonna need the bed more than me. I’m used to sleeping on the couch, I fall asleep there regularly.” I do. I usually just lie on the couch, drawing, watching TV, and then, suddenly, it’s the next morning.

“I don’t know…” She eyes the bed. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” Why wouldn’t I be sure?

“Okay.” She frowns. “It’s big enough for the two of us, right?”

Um. That may be taking a few too many steps at once… “I don’t know. I’m a cuddler.”

“A what?”

“I cuddle when I sleep with someone else in a bed.”

Lizzy flushes and her eyes dart to me before she looks away. “I guess… Maybe I don’t mind?”

“You sleep on the bed. I’ll take the couch.” I take the plates and stack them on the counter. “You go brush your teeth, there should be a clean brush in the cabinet under the sink. Do you want me to grab you something to sleep in or are you fine like that?”

She stands up, looking down at herself. “I’m good.” Then she makes her way over to the bathroom.

I quickly clean the bed and grab a pillow and a blanket to use on the couch. That should do it, not much to this, I guess.

The door to the bathroom opens and Lizzy steps out. She’s braided her normally loose hair, exposing her beautiful neck and pale skin. Then she comes over to the bed, looking at me. “Are you sure this is okay?”

“Yes. You go to sleep, I’ll be right here. Okay?”

Lizzy nods as she climbs under the blankets, pulling them up high, only her face visible. “Good night.”

“Good night.” I stand up, too nervous to go to sleep myself, so instead I wash the plates and the things that we used—no use letting those sit there when I’m not even ready to go to sleep. Then I turn off all the lights on this side of the house, only leaving one on at the couch.

“Hunter.” Lizzy’s quiet voice startles me.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for today.” I can’t see her from here, but it feels different this time, like something has changed.

“No problem, that’s what friends are for. Right?” I pull the blanket over me, hoping that she can’t see my face in the low light. Friends… That is such a fine line to walk, one that we seem to not be able to walk so easily. We seem to constantly go from “friends” to “more”.

“Yes, friends.” It’s almost as if the word is strange in her mouth, but I have to ignore it. We’re friends, that is what we agreed on, the only way that we can keep doing this, that we can keep meeting up.

“Good night,” I whisper as I turn the light off. I turn around and try to block everything out, try to fall asleep.

I hear Lizzy move around on the bed too, and then her breathing starts to even out. But instead of sleeping, I hear other sounds. Quiet sniffling, and movements from time to time.

No. No, no, no. I try to ignore it for a bit, but I know I can’t. I can’t ignore her like this. I crawl from the couch and walk over to her. “Lizzy.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just…” She moves and I turn on the small lamp next to the bed.

She’s pulled the blanket over her head and it moves in stuttering motions. That’s not any better.

I make my way to the other side of the bed and slide in, reaching out, putting my arm under her.

Lizzy turns over and curls into my side, her arm over my chest tightly. I wrap my arms around her, keeping her to me.

Slowly her sobbing eases and she falls asleep, and so do I.

* * *

I
wake up sweating
. It’s hot under the blanket and for a moment I’m confused why. Then I become aware of the weight in my arms. Lizzy. I turn to my side, wrapping around her more. She feels so good in my arms. But then I realize that something isn’t right—she’s too hot. I carefully reach up, touching her face. She’s burning up. “Lizzy?”

Lizzy makes a sound, but it isn’t very recognizable.

“Lizzy?” I sit up, pulling her with me somewhat. In the light from the bedside lamp I can see her darkly flushed cheeks, the way she’s restlessly sleeping. I put my forehead to hers. She’s way hotter than I am.

She’s running a fever. Which isn’t strange after the stunt she pulled yesterday, but that doesn’t make it any less worrisome. I put her down again and get out of bed. I put on my discarded jeans and check my phone. It’s only five in the morning, way too early to wake up.

I grab a glass of water and hunt through the cupboard for some painkillers. Then I make my way back over to the bed. Lizzy’s still asleep.

“Lizzy.” I shake her lightly, hoping it’ll wake her.

She finally opens her eyes, looking at me through bleary eyes. “Hunter?” And then she dozes off again.

“Stay awake, please, I need you to drink this.” I hold out the glass of water. “Sit up and drink this.”

Lizzy blinks and slowly pushes herself up somewhat. “What’s going on?” She licks her lips and reaches out with one hand, but then loses stability in her other arm. “Whoa.”

Dammit. I put the glass down and sit next to her, keeping her up. The fever can’t be any good, especially with her illness. She always looks weak, but now… now she
is
weak. “Careful.” I wrap my arm around her and hand her the glass again.

She takes a few sips and frowns. “I’m running a fever, aren’t I?”

“Yeah. Can you have painkillers?” I know that they aren’t always a good idea.

“Yeah, just low dose.”

I take the glass from her as I sort through the blister packs on the side table. I find some low-dose aspirin. “This okay?”

She looks at the packet, blinking a couple of times. “Yeah.” Then she looks again. “Yeah.”

I pop one pill out and hand it to her together with the glass of water.

She takes both from me and it takes her a while to pop the pill into her mouth and then she finishes off the whole glass of water.

“Want more?” I pull the blanket higher over her, keeping her warm.

She nods, finally waking up a bit. “Yes, please.”

I slowly slide from beside her, but this time she turns and sits on her own. When I’ve grabbed a new glass of water and turn around, I find her eyes on me.

“I’m sorry. I keep making trouble for you.” She takes the glass from me and start drinking.

I’m not even sure what to answer to that. What can I answer to that? Sure, stuff happens, problems happen, but I don’t care about it that much. So what can I tell her? There is nothing to really tell her.

Lizzy looks up at me and hands me the glass back, then she lowers herself back onto the pillow.

“Are you sure you don’t need to eat something too?” I don’t feel comfortable letting her go back to sleep like this.

“Can I sleep and then eat in an hour or so?” She opens her eyes, but I can see she’s already dozing off again.

“Sure, you go back to sleep.” I put my hand to her cheek. She’s so hot and sticky. I watch as she falls asleep again. It’s like watching a small child, how she just turns so angelic when she’s asleep. Though, also, a lump forms in my throat. When Joey was ill, I watched him fall asleep like this too many times. While his body was fighting the illness.

I blink fast and turn away from Lizzy. No, Lizzy is still here, she’ll overcome this. This is just a temporary setback for her.

I turn on a couple more lights and put on some coffee… No use going back to bed now. My stomach is all in knots and I need to move, need to
do
something. So, as I grab a cup of coffee, putting in some sugar to get over the bitter taste in the morning, I walk up the stairs to my own little workshop. I sit down on the chair and grab my pencils.

The drawing in front of me is something I’ve been working on a couple of days now, in a few minutes here and there. It’s from the zoo, the way Lola, Lizzy and Hanna were having fun together, joking as we were sitting in the rainforest exhibit. It was so nice to see them all together, looking so happy. I don’t see them like that often. I start coloring some more of the green background.

Suddenly a loud noise startles me and I look up, pulling myself from the drawing. The alarm on my phone is going, and I turn it off. It’s seven in the morning. I’ve just lost two hours without realizing it. I get up—that also means that I need to wake up Lizzy again.

I walk down the stairs again, but Lizzy isn’t in the bed. I frown as the door to the bathroom opens.

“Morning.” She’s still flushed, but at least she’s more awake now.

“Morning. How are you feeling?” I come over, but she steps aside.

“Dirty, sticky.” She rubs her arms.

“Yeah, apart from that.”

“Hot, cold. But it’s gotten a little better now.” She looks at me. “Sorry if I woke you this morning.”

“No worries. We should make some breakfast. Do you do coffee?” There should still be enough in the pot, though I’m not sure how drinkable it is.

“Yeah, please. No sugar or milk.” She sits down at the table.

“Here, let me just…” I grab a sweater from my dresser. “Put this on, you need to stay warm.”

“I
am
warm.” She glares at me, but still reaches out and takes the sweater from me. “Fine. It’s way too big though.”

“Think of it as a really big dress.” I check the coffee pot, but it’s still warm. Good. I pour two cups and put some sugar in mine as I leave Lizzy’s plain. When I turn around, Lizzy is sitting in the chair again, having the sweater pulled up high. “Like it?”

“It’s soft, and fluffy, and warm.” She smiles as she nuzzles it.

“I know.” I grin as I put her cup in front of her. “It’s really nice, which is why I’ve got four of them and don’t wear them when I’m working with dangerous stuff.”

“Four?” Her eyes grow as she stares at me like I’m insane.

And maybe I am, but I don’t want to have to deal with buying new clothes all the time. This way I don’t need to. “Yes, four. They’re super nice, so until I find something better, I’ll keep wearing them.”

“I do hope they’re in different colours?” She eyes me.

“No? All black.” I laugh as Lizzy shakes her head. She seems to feel a little better already. “Drink your coffee, and what are you eating for breakfast?”

“What’s on the schedule, and what do you have in the house?” She shrugs. “I don’t really feel like eating, but I’ll have to.”

“I’ll check.” I look around, spotting the schedule on the counter. Of course. I grab it and take a look. “We’ve got muesli, muesli, bread, more muesli and porridge. I’ve only got bread though.” We still have some leftover from yesterday, when we grabbed some, but ended up eating pasta and sauce instead.