Hunter (Broken Bad Boys 1): A New Adult Bad Boy Romance (26 page)

“Are you okay?” Hunter leans up, coming closer.

“I’m fine.” I try to make it sound light, but I can hear the roughness in it. My body reacts to him in ways that I’ve never known before.

“Maybe I should go home.” He looks at me closely, then he leans over and gives me a kiss on my cheek. “Sleep tight.”

“Thanks.” And as he leaves, quietly closing the door. I whisper into the darkness, “I love you.”

The words are out of my mouth before I can even think about what it means.

And just that realization, that slip of the tongue keeps me from sleeping for another three hours.

* * *

“
W
elcome back
.” Prof Cartwright looks up as I walk into the classroom. I’m the first one here, just too nervous to hang around elsewhere. “How are you getting on with your art? I saw some of the things you sent me.” He motions from me to come over. “You have great potential, though it seems that you interpret some of the assignments a little differently than most of the others do.”

“Ah.” That doesn’t sound good, does it? “Is there anything I need to fix?” Prof Cartwright’s is the first class I’m taking now they let me be out of the clinic for half-days. The literature class I’ll have to retake, but this one at least doesn’t require me to do much to catch up. I could do most of the assignments while I was still at the clinic.

“No, it’s fine, though I do wish you’d show a couple of different skills for your next project, okay? Maybe charcoal or pastels.” He looks at the projects in his hands. The top one is Hunter’s, his style unmistakable. “How are you getting on with your final project?”

My final project, a drawing of Hunter and his dreams. I’ve started thinking about it, but right now, I’ve got no idea where to start.

“Anyway, we’re spending most of the time on the project today, exchanging ideas and making sure everyone is on track with finishing it on time.” Prof Cartwright looks up as loud footsteps come down the hall.

I know the sound of those boots on the floor.
Hunter.
I stand up straighter as I keep my eyes on the drawing in front of us.

“Afternoon.” Hunter’s voice brings butterflies to my stomach. I haven’t seen him since he was at the clinic last week. We’ve been in contact, but we’ve been trying to step away a bit, trying to be really friends, not anything more.

“Afternoon.” Prof Cartwright nods at him, and I finally look up.

Hunter’s eyes are on me. He looks surprised, even though I’d told him that I’d be here today. “Welcome back.” His voice is quieter, softer this time.

“Thank you.” I take a seat and Hunter sits down at the table next to mine. “How are you?” He looks better this time, not as tired, not as exhausted.

“I’m good. How are you?” He looks at me, and he seems to calm down. Why, I’ve got no idea.

“Good. Excited.”

That makes his smile grow and he pulls out a notebook, then he shows me a page. “I started on my half of the project.” It’s me in a long black dress. There are some vague shapes along the edge, but I can’t recognize them right now. It makes me self-conscious to look at the drawing, at the way Hunter sees me.

“Looks good.” The guy’s got skill, but I already knew that.

“You don’t think it’s going to be too dark?” He looks at it and then shrugs. “I was thinking of working on it at the workshop, that way we can both work there at the same time. Easy for feedback and stuff.”

That’s actually a good idea, especially as it will be easier to get the projects handed in from there. I’m not exactly sure where I’ll be sleeping between now and then. They may let me leave in a few weeks, or make me stay another month or two. But I can always work on it in the afternoons that they let me out at the workshop.

But working on it at the workshop, that means that we’ll be working side by side, close together. Butterflies crash around my stomach. Spending all my afternoons with Hunter… How are we supposed to stay in the friendly zone without overstepping our boundaries? Can I work this closely with him without doing something bad?

I
t’s
good to have Lizzy at my side again. She’s been coming to more and more classes in the last week and it’s getting to the end of the semester. Our drawing project is coming along nicely and just spending time with her has done me so much good. I didn’t even realize it until she looked up from her part of the project a couple of days ago, and my heart skipped a beat at her smile. She’s been happy, and I guess it has infected me too.

It’s getting harder and harder to resist touching her, holding her. But we’re
just
friends, and friends don’t feel each other up, as far as I know.

I’m taking a break from working to hang out at the back of the workshop building, smoking and staring into nothing.

“H?” Lola walks out of the workshop.

“Yeah.” Just like it’s weird to hear Lizzy call me H, it would be weird to hear Lola call me Hunter.

“Have you seen Lizzy?” She looks worried.

“She’s getting some supplies with Tamara. They should be back soon.” I stub out the cigarette and turn to her. “Why?”

She shrugs. “I expected her here and she wasn’t.”

“You don’t have to keep track of her all the time.” I step closer, not stepping into the building yet, but close enough that I can look at her directly.

“Because
you
will?” Her eyes harden as she asks the question.

Without missing a beat, I answer her. “Yes.” A shiver goes down my spine as I realize what I’m saying. “Yes.”

Lola frowns as she shakes her head. “I don’t get it. Why do you two do this? I don’t want to see you or her get hurt again. This can only go badly.”

“I’d never hurt her.”

“You hurt her by hurting yourself, she hurts you by hurting herself. And if there is one thing you two excel at, it’s hurting yourselves. How do you even…” She sighs. “I don’t get it.”

“You don’t have to, as long as Lizzy gets it. I’ve never hurt her. I
will
never hurt her.” My voice rises but I rein myself in again. “But I also can’t let her go.”

Lola looks at me like I’m insane. “You’re so stubborn. What happens when you get in trouble again? Won’t that hurt her? How can you say that you’d never hurt her when you live like that?”

“I haven’t—” I haven’t gotten into a fight in weeks. I haven’t had alcohol in over a month. Sure, Lola doesn’t see it, but I know that Lizzy does. “I won’t get in trouble again. I won’t because I—” I stop myself. Because I what? Love her? It’s the truth, isn’t it? It has been for a while now, even if I don’t dare to think about it.

Lola nods, but I know that she doesn’t believe me. She only knows the me who always did stupid things, she’s never seen that I can also be different. That that’s not who I am, who I want to be. But I also don’t feel like arguing with her.

“Just know I won’t hurt her. I know Blaze was an asshole, I know Lizzy’s ex was an asshole. But not all guys are like that.” I step past her, walk back to the table where Lizzy and I were working.

Lola stomps past me.

“Hey, you’re not waiting for Lizzy?” I speak up, hoping that she’ll still hear me.

“No. Since
you
apparently are now the person who will do everything for her,
you
can accompany her to the clinic today.” Her voice is on edge. Maybe I went too far with my last comment. I’m pretty sure that I did. But I’m not like that anymore, even if Lola can’t see it. Lola keeps reminding me of a different time, of when I was a different person. And I guess that maybe we both have to get to learn to live with the new persons we are.

Lizzy’s hands snake around my shoulders, her arms around me. “Hey, what were you thinking? You looked upset.”

I smile as I kiss one of her arms. “Nothing. Nothing to worry about. Did you get what you needed?”

Lizzy’s breath stops for a moment and I realize my mistake… Whoops. “Yes…” she mumbles and slowly lets go of me. The shutters go down behind her eyes and she walks away, greeting Tamara, who drags in a whole bag of supplies.

Fuck. Why did I do that?

Because I want to. That’s why. That’s why I keep doing this, why I keep putting myself in these stupid situations. I can’t
not
do it anymore.

When Lizzy comes back to the table, her eyes still averted, I reach out and carefully touch her arm. “What are you doing this weekend?”

“I—” She shrugs. “I’m going to pack up my bags. They’re letting me out the clinic.”

“What?” I tug on her arm, making her look at me. “That’s amazing news.”

“I’ll still be an out-patient.” She shrugs.

“But you’ll be at home in the evenings. That must be good. Right?” Why doesn’t she look excited by this prospect?

“I guess.” She stands up, looking lost, and then wanders to the back door.

I follow her and as she looks out the window of the back door, I wrap my arms around her. “What’s wrong? You should be happy about this.”

“Should I? I may be allowed to sleep at home, but I still need to get back to the unit at least once every day. How is that better?” She leans against me, covering my hands with hers.

“Well, I could invite you to spend time at my place…” I murmur the words, softly enough that if she wants to ignore them, she can. I need to be brave. After everything that has happened, I need to be brave and finally take the next step. I don’t want to be
just
friends, and I don’t think that we ever really were.

Lizzy holds me tighter. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.” I put my lips to her beautiful dark hair and breathe.

She takes a deep breath. “When?”

“Whenever you like.”

Lizzy turns around in my arms, looks up at me. I can see her search my eyes for something, anything. But I don’t have anything to hide. I want her at my side, maybe forever. She averts her eyes again, but not before I put one hand under her chin and angle her head up.

“I’ll wait for you, however long it takes.” Then I carefully close my lips over hers. First she stills in my arms, not letting me in, then she lets out a gasp and melts in my embrace. I dip into her mouth and she lets out a small sound that lights my body aflame. Then her hands come up around me and she grasps onto the back of my shirt, holding on tight. Her lithe body moulds against mine perfectly and we stand like that for a while, wrapped around each other. When I finally let her mouth go, our breaths come out harsh.

She looks up at me, her eyes dark, filled with lust. Damn. I never want her to look like that at another guy, not ever. She brings her fingers to her mouth, tracing her lips, hiding her sweet smile. I know many things that I’d like to do with her, things that require more privacy and a lot fewer clothes.

I’m under her spell, no matter how much I’ve been trying to fight it.

* * *

“
L
et’s go
.” I grab Lizzy’s bag and put it in the back of the car.

“Hunter…” she squeaks, eying the house behind her, her parents’ house. “I can’t just leave.”

“Why not?” I lean back on the car, stretching myself, making her look at me instead of the house.

“Just…” She looks at me, and I know that she wants to come to me. “I’ve only been back for one night.” She takes a few steps, then looks back.

“So? It’s Friday evening, the start of the weekend. You wanted to come over.” I grin as her mouth opens and she colors.

“You’re not being fair.” She pouts, adorable.

“Why not?” I grab my phone. “It says here.
‘You wouldn’t dare to steal me away from my parents.’
I’m here, aren’t I?”

“I…” She sighs and I try to contain my grin, I don’t want to freak her out too much. Of course, I knew she may be a bit difficult about actually following what she said, so I put on the tightest pair of jeans and the tightest shirt I’ve got. I had to play on her other sensibilities somehow.

“You what?” I reach out. She’s nearly close enough to touch now. Ever since our kiss a few days ago, it’s been hard to not touch her. And we’ve had a couple of comments that we should get a room, with lots of eye rolling. Well, I’m trying that now, a room,
my
room.

She weaves her fingers through mine, stepping closer, stepping right up against me. “You’re evil.”

I kiss the tip of her nose, grinning. “Oh, I’m totally aware.” I wrap my arms around her. “You left a note, they’ll be fine. Come, I want to have some fun together.”

She rolls her eyes as she finally smiles. “Okay…” She steps back. “Let’s go, then.”

I open the door to the car and Lizzy steps in. Then I walk to the other side and get behind the wheel. I drive off, quickly making my way through the city. Even if they don’t find Lizzy’s note, I already messaged Lola that I was picking up Lizzy for the night. She wasn’t very happy, but I’ll deal with that another time.

“Where are we going?” Lizzy looks out the window, her hands fiddling with the hem of her shirt.

“My studio.” Nothing fancy, nothing weird. I just want to spend the night with her, a quiet and easy night, after all the mess that we’ve been through. After all the crap that happened the last time she was at my place.

“Ah.” She nods and it calms her down somewhat.

I drive through the streets, making my way to the studio and parking the car. I open my door but Lizzy doesn’t move. “What’s wrong?”

She looks to the motorbike parked next to mine, frowning. “Whose is that?”

“Mine.” I smile. Earlier today I bought a new bike, similar to the one I used to have. This one needs a lot of work though, which I’m okay with. It makes a nice project to work on now that I no longer feel that tension inside every time I look at a bike.

“It’s beautiful. Are you going to leave the colors like that?” The motorbike is a matte black, simple and functional.

“Nah, gonna paint it, but have to get it to work first.” I look at her. “You interested in helping?”

“The painting or the repairing?” She looks at me, and I can see the excitement, her eyes twinkling.

“Both.” I grab her bag from the backseat and step out of the car, then I make my way to the other side and hold the door open as Lizzy steps out.

“You don’t have to do that.” She rolls her eyes.

“I want to. Or you’d stare at the bike all evening.” I close the door behind her and weave my fingers through hers as we make our way inside the building, up the elevator and to my studio. When we’re finally inside, I put the bag aside and take her in my arms again.

Lizzy melts right against me, wrapping her arms around me. “Why are you doing this?”

“Doing what?” I have many reasons. I’m not sure she’d want to know any of them.

“Always inviting me over.” Her voice is quieter now, unsure, insecure.

I frown. Eh, that’s not going the right way… I let her go and guide her to the couch, make her sit down. Then I sit down next to her. “Why wouldn’t I?”

“There are so many other girls who would be so much more fun than me. I’m no fun.” She looks at her hands again. I thought we were past this, but apparently not.

“Because I like spending time with you.” And I’d love to do more than just
spend
it with her.

“But why?” She shakes her head. “Why me?” She looks up at me, and I’m not sure what is going on in her head, but it hurts her.

“Because you’re smart, and cool, and you make the most amazing art.” There are so many other reasons too…

“Yeah, but…” Her brows knit.

I take her arms, and that makes her look at me. “I don’t care that there are others. I only want you.”

Lizzy’s mouth drops open and I’m sure that she forgets to breathe for a moment, then she shakes her head.

I slide my hand down the side of her face, cupping her cheek. She meets my eyes finally. “I love you.” I say the words, but before she can reply, I cover her lips with mine. I don’t want to hear her turn me down.

She opens for me on a gasp and I dip my tongue into her mouth, taking her breath away, taking all the thoughts away. Then her fingers tighten in my shirt and she pulls me closer, as close as she can get me.

I pull her onto my lap and wrap my arms around her. When I finally break the kiss, I can’t help but repeat the words. “I love you. I love you.” My heart swells and the feeling coming over me is indescribable. It’s so big and it makes me want to strip Lizzy right then and there and hold her as tight as I can. I love this girl, this broken girl who doesn’t even know how amazing she is.

Lizzy looks at me, her eyes dark, her breath shallow, but I still see the shock in her eyes. She did not expect this.

When her silence keeps on a little too long, I touch her cheek and she immediately leans against me. “Lizzy?”

“I… I love you too.” Her eyes glisten and tears slowly lose their hold onto her eyelashes and start to roll down her cheeks. “I love you too.” My heart swells up even more, so much that I don’t know if I can even contain it any longer. How can someone have so much feeling inside them?

“That wasn’t exactly what I was asking.” My words are breathless and Lizzy smiles softly.

“I know. It’s still true.” She wipes at her cheeks.

“Then why are you crying?” I come up more, my lips close to hers.

“I never thought you’d ever say that. I never knew… I don’t know…” She starts to babble and I cover her lips with mine again. This time I just hold her close. Soft and long kisses, short and desperate, we exchange them all, holding onto each other as much as we can. As tightly as we can. Not wanting to let go.