Hunter Mourned (Wild Hunt Book 3) (34 page)

He blew out a relieved breath. No way would he share the woman he loved. “Tell me what else is involved in this deal.”

“Each time you die in the mortal world, your soul will be returned here.” Michael motioned around them. “The in-between realm. I will meet you here before you pass through the Gates and return you to Rowan. While you’re on the human plane, you need to act honorably. Don’t commit any mortal sins, or you’ll damn me. Same with the Underworld. You can go there because I can, but be on your best behavior. Otherwise, that’s it.”

“What about sluaghs and redcaps? Can I still fight them? Will my blade still work as a warning?”

“Yes, the weapon Harley made for you will work because you are not connected to the Huntsmen. And yes, if you are acting to save a life, you may kill them. But…” A harsh look tightened Michael’s features. “If you are killing them for fun or revenge and not allowing the Huntsmen to free their souls, no.”

“So, basically, what I was doing with Rowan.”

“Yes.”

He could live with that. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

“I didn’t say it was a done deal.”

Trevor leaned close to the angel. “Bullshit. You wouldn’t have brought it up if you weren’t going to do it.”

Michael snorted and held out his hand. “Then let’s go to my home in the clouds. That’s where I’ve left the vial of Minerva’s blessed tears.”

“How long will this take?”

“Does it matter? Your only other choice is to pass through the Gates and forget Rowan.”

Trevor glanced at the spot where the Huntsmen opened the portal. “Rowan needs me now.”

Michael’s massive wings unfolded from his back. The white feathers appeared nearly translucent and delicate, yet the angel’s wings had carried them from the hospital to the estate in minutes.

“Do you doubt your lover is strong enough to face her challenge?”

“No, but—”

“Then you can be waiting for her when she comes back.”

Trevor had told her once that he’d always be waiting for her when she returned. He would just have to hope she remembered his words.

Trevor gripped the angel’s hand. “Lead the way.”

Michael yanked him against his chest, then flapped his wings. Within moments, the world gave way to whiteness, but Trevor kept his gaze locked onto the butterfly garden until it was hidden by the pure clouds.

Remember me, Rowan. Remember us.

****

Lucas was waiting for her at the Haven. Rowan had hoped to find Minerva first in order to ask her more about Lucas and the bond they shared. Apparently, she wasn’t going to get another reprieve. Lucas stood near the hallway leading to the inner chambers, with a determined expression on his face.

She wasn’t sure if she was ready to face him. After her talk with Arawn, she didn’t know what she should do. Trevor was dead. She’d never reconnect with him. Her hope for a future filled with happiness and love was gone. Her father’s wasn’t. He still had Minerva. Without Lucas in the picture, they could work out their problems, but Arawn had ordered her not to use him as an excuse to accept Lucas’s deal.

Choices hung over her. She didn’t know which one would save her.

Lucas motioned to the hallway. The intent in his eyes was clear. She’d walk with him, or he’d come to her. One way or another, he was getting her alone.

She scanned the room. Most of the demons, mortal and immortal alike, watched her. No doubt they knew of Lucas’s desires. She didn’t want to give them a reason to think he’d automatically won. She wasn’t weak.

She was battle-scarred.

Chin raised, she walked toward Lucas. The scents of sex and candy hung heavy in the room. Her breathing quickened and her lower belly warmed, despite her disinterest in sex. She couldn’t imagine fucking anybody. Her heart hurt too much. Then again, Lucas had swayed her the last time she’d walked into the Haven after Kai’s death.

But she was stronger this time around, and hiding from her pain didn’t make it go away. Of course, reliving it didn’t either. Only accepting it had helped.

Lucas turned at her approach and headed down the hallway as if assured she’d follow. He lifted the curtain of one of the private booths. She bent slightly and stepped inside. Similar to the one Minerva had been in the day Rowan had found her here, the private chamber had a huge bed covered with burgundy and gold blankets, a small table for two, and a semicircular cushioned bench.

Rowan moved to the middle of the room, far away from the bed, and faced Lucas. He was as average as any man could be. Brown hair, brown eyes, and a face that could easily be forgotten, but the clues to the position he’d once held were visible. He had the body of a warrior and the focused, calculating gaze of a predator. He also radiated power. It had a sexual edge to it, but it was still power. When wielded at its full potential, he was nearly impossible to resist.

Her body grew aroused, nipples hardening and sex slickening. She swallowed against the lust and kept her gaze firmly set on his mouth.

“You’re Minerva’s soul mate.”

“Our souls are bound, but I’m not sure the romanticized term should be used in our case. Minerva is mated to another male.”

“Why did you do it?”

Lucas let the curtain fall into place and ambled closer to her. Each step he took intensified the effect he had on her. Her body remembered his and wanted what he could do. Her heart, on the other hand, remembered Trevor and how he’d made her feel.

Lucas tipped up her chin, and she closed her eyes to avoid his entrapment. He kissed her cheeks, her eyelids, her closed lips. She didn’t open them. Didn’t acknowledge him. She breathed through the lust and waited for him to speak.

He dragged his open mouth to the spot below her ear. “Why do you care? Once you accept me, it will break my bond to her and reform it with you.”

The brush of his lips against her skin sent tingles skipping down her spine. Her womb clenched. She fisted her hands until her nails dug into her flesh. Damn treacherous hormones. She gnashed her teeth. “That is the gift the Triad gave you? The ability to erase your mistake.”

“Why do you assume it was a mistake? Or that my connection to her was unwelcome. It wasn’t. Minerva agreed to it. The only mistake I made was not warning her of what might happen because of her tie to me. After I returned to my duties and she to hers, Dagda found his way into her bed. The Seelie King got hooked on her too. That, unfortunately, was my fault. An angel’s allure is as strong as a sex demon’s. Her tie to me enhanced her already strong appeal. She was irresistible. She still is.”

“But she mated Arawn.”

“Yes, she loves him.” Sadness tinged Lucas’s voice.

“Do you love her?”

“I no longer want to talk about Minerva. I want to forget her and embrace you.” Lucas slid his hand down her spine to her ass and massaged her cheeks. “You want the same, don’t you? To move on.”

She did want to move on. It was the only way she’d be able to function nightly. No matter what had happened to her or how much fate had screwed with her life, she had a duty, not only to mankind but to her Teulu.

“How can you accomplish that?”

He moved one hand to the back of her head and held her still while he traced her spine with his free hand. “You just need to accept me, and I will handle the rest.”

“No. Explain it to me. You said you would help me forget.” She tried to turn her head, but his grip on her never wavered. “What will I forget?”

“Your human lover in both this lifetime and the one before.”

“I won’t remember Trevor or Kai at all?” He had to be twisting his words. There was no way to scrub those memories without leaving her with huge gaps in her past. Doing so would leave her at a disadvantage. She might forget the lessons she’d learned in battles during those years.

“Not exactly. You’ll remember being with them, but it’ll be as if a veil had been cast over that time you’d spent with them. All you’ll feel is acknowledgment of the time. Nothing more. You’ll be free.”

“No memories of my emotions. Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Yes, that’s what I’m promising you. A life where you’ll never be plagued with thoughts of them. No guilt. No regret. Nothing.”

And no love. She wouldn’t remember how Trevor’s arms had felt around her. Wouldn’t remember his smile. Wouldn’t remember the way he’d worshiped her. She would sit on the swing he’d made for her and not be able to recall how he’d made her feel that day, as if she had a reason to live.

“No matter what happens. Remember today. Remember me. Remember
us
.”
Trevor’s words repeated in her head, reminding her of the promise she’d made to him.

“I can’t do this.” She pressed her hands to Lucas’s chest. “I won’t allow anyone to strip my memories of Trevor. They’re all I have left of him.”

Lucas yanked her close. “Exactly. Let them go. Your grief weakens you. You’re in no shape to fight the Unseelies like this. I can make you strong again. I can turn you into a Hunter that’ll strike fear into the hearts of your enemies. Don’t you want that? To be invincible?”

Without her memories, she’d be heartless. It was the pain of losing Kai that sent her out onto the streets every night hoping to prevent tragedies, and it was the sheer happiness of being alive Trevor had shown her that would do so again. As long as she remembered love, she would fight for others to experience it. Without it,
she
wouldn’t be a woman she could respect.

“Grief is not a sign of weakness. It’s the price of love.” She shoved away from the fallen angel. “I won’t take the easy way out. I will walk this path knowing my grief will never completely leave me, but I don’t fear it. Grief changes. It’s a passage. Not a place to stay. And each step I take along this journey, I will wrap my memories around me and try to be the woman Trevor loved. That is what will make my pain bearable. That is how I will honor him.”

Lucas studied her for a long moment, then inclined his head. “At least you have memories. I have none, except for a couple of nights of sex.”

She backed toward the curtain. “That’s not my fault, Lucas. That’s yours. You tied yourself to a woman who doesn’t love you.”

Lucas grinned. “Is that what you think? Then why did Minerva harass you every time you ended up in my bed?”

Rowan couldn’t answer that, nor did she want to try. All she knew was that she needed to get away from Lucas. Being in his arms stirred her guilt as much as it had her lust.

“A word of advice, Lucas.” She gripped the heavy curtain. “Think carefully before you concoct any other plan against my father. No matter what your goals are, you can’t hurt him without hurting Minerva. I have a feeling you’ll regret that more than any other sin you might’ve committed.”

She let the curtain swoosh closed and hurried to the corridor leading to the human realm. She was in the mood to swing.

C
HAPTER
T
HIRTY-
T
WO

No folders or papers were scattered over the desk Arawn had used. The fire had been banked. The tumblers had been washed and stored on the shelf above the wet bar.

Arawn had returned to his library. That was the only conclusion Rowan could come up with. After talking to Lucas, however, she couldn’t help but wonder if her father had been right to worry about his reaction to seeing Lucas and Minerva. Her father was strong, though. As long as he held his humanity close, he’d survive. His children would help him.

Rowan turned for the doorway. Minerva stood there in one of the silver gowns she’d always favored.

“You know of my secret.”

Rowan approached her. “I doubt I know all the details, but I know of your lies to Arawn.”

“I didn’t lie to your father. I simply didn’t tell him of my connection to Lucifer. There was no need. The deal I made with him guaranteed the bond we shared would remain sexless.”

“What deal?”

“After I gifted the angels with the ability to choose a soul mate, Lucifer found me crying and in pain. He promised a way to ease my suffering.”

“By mating my father.”

“Yes, but I was banned from the Underworld. Only angels could enter it. By tying my soul to Lucifer’s, I was able to circumvent the Triad’s rule and still mate Arawn. Nobody was ever supposed to know of my deal with Lucifer, not Arawn or the Triad. The deity found out, though, when it learned who’d fathered my son.”

Minerva balled her hands. “I don’t think the Triad even cared which angel had disobeyed its order by allowing me to find Arawn. The deity was only upset because I had managed to hide it. The Triad prides itself on thinking it knows everything, but it doesn’t. If it had, it would’ve stopped Dagda before he turned his court into monsters.”

Rowan glanced at Minerva’s left hand, the one displaying the bond she shared with Arawn. “You hurt my father.”

“I know. It wasn’t my intention. I love him.”

“Then go to him. At least you can.”

Minerva pulled Rowan into a hug. “I cried for you and Trevor. I do not know if it did any good, but I mourned his loss.”

“Thank you.” Rowan swallowed past the lump in her throat. “I should go.”

“Yes.” Minerva released her and stepped back. “Hunt well, daughter.”

She would. It was all she had left besides her memories.

Rowan hurried to the corridor leading out of the Underworld and stopped dead in her tracks. The man striding toward her wasn’t a sight she’d ever thought to see. She stepped back. She had to be confusing her memories with reality, but that was impossible. Trevor had never walked in the Underworld. As a human, he was banned from it.

“Trevor?”

“In the flesh.” He grinned. The smile slammed into her, leaving her unbalanced. She braced an arm against the wall to support her weak legs. Her mind was playing tricks. It had to be, but hope bloomed with each step he took toward her.

He settled his hands on her hips. “Did you succeed?”

“In what?”

“Your challenge.”

She didn’t care about her challenge. Trevor was here. Understanding why was all that mattered. They weren’t supposed to get any more chances.

She traced his jawline. A slight brushing of stubble tickled her fingertips, exactly as it had the evening after they’d made love in the hotel. “How can you be here? You died.”