Hunter: Rockstar Romance (The ProVokaTiv Series Book 2) (11 page)

I was staring at Trinity, and I’ll admit, I actually felt a bit scared. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Cornering a free spirit like her was not so different than trapping an animal and wounding it. It became dangerous, and unpredictable. I don’t know why I had to know what was going on with her, but I just did. I opened up my mouth to talk, and no words came out.

“Great. You’ve locked me in here just to watch you with your mouth open,” Trin said to me with a venomous voice.

“You’re just so damn beautiful,” I said. That was not what I’d planned on saying, but that was what came out of my mouth. There was no smooth operator in me when it came to Trinity, she tripped me up so bad.

“You could have texted me that, Hunter. Look, I don’t know what’s going on, or why you are so determined to talk about things. We had sex. It was great. That’s it.”

I leaned toward her. Damn I wanted to kiss her. But the instant my hands were on her shoulders, her entire body stiffened. I grabbed her hand instead and guided her over to the couch. She didn’t resist. It was progress, I guess. She sat, pressed up against the armrest, looking like she might bolt any second. I sat down as close as I dared, which was not that close. My heart felt like it might burst right through my chest. I couldn’t recall ever being so nervous about something before.
Too late to turn back
, I thought.

“I’m just trying to understand what’s going on,” I said, trying to be calm. “We were having so much fun, a really great time, I thought, and then you just shut me out. Why would you do that?”

“Good times don’t last forever,” she said.

“Maybe, hell if I really know,” I replied. “I didn’t think ours were ready to end so soon, or so abruptly. Just tell me why. I can handle whatever you have to say. I just want to know, and all this dishonestly and poor excuses isn’t going to cut it. You’re better than that, Trin.”

“I wasn’t aware that I gave you an opportunity to know what I am better than or not better than, or anything else really significant for that matter,” she said to me. She was going to make this hard. Maybe if I lightened the mood somehow.

“You talk in your sleep,” I said.

Trinity stared at me, and I could see her trying to assess if I was serious or not. She playfully spat back. “Hopefully I didn’t hurt your feelings when I told you to F off.”

“Nope, because every time you said it, it was followed by you having sex with me. It was pretty hot, actually.”

“In my sleep?” she said to me, raising her eyebrows and trying not to laugh at what I said.

“Yeah, you’re a freaky chick.”

“Apparently you like that,” she said.

“I sure do. I like it quite a bit,” I said.

“You are so trippy,” Trinity said.

“It’s fun tripping you up,” I replied. My knee brushed against hers, and I wanted her so badly. Why not try? I certainly had nothing to lose.

“Glad to amuse you. Is that keeping it real?”

I didn’t answer Trinity because I wanted to shut her up with my mouth smashed against hers, and that’s just what I did. I leaned in quickly and kissed her roughly. She hesitated for a moment and while her body tensed up, her lips did respond. She tasted so good.  I’d missed that mouth ever since I’d kissed them the first time, which wasn’t even the first time we’d had sex.

Trinity’s hands wrapped around my waist and I pulled her into my lap. Her thin, long fingers were pressed into my sides and my hands were roaming her back as we stayed connected through our kiss just as much as our touch. Finally, Trinity’s body fully relaxed and she was in the moment, responding to what I was offering, and showing that there was something inside of her that wanted me, even if she just wouldn’t say it. Well, if I couldn’t get her to verbally say it, I’d get her to physically acknowledge it.

My hands slid under her t-shirt and I started to lift it up slowly, so eager to feel her breasts in my mouth and recall how amazing they were when I was licking them, nibbling them, and kissing them. My hard-on was raging huge and I felt so desperate to release it, and slide into Trinity with it, and feel the way she moved on top of me.

She gave a soft moan, and I finished sliding her t-shirt off. Two clammy hands suddenly pressed against my chest, and she pushed away. “Stop. This is fucking insane. I can’t do this,” she said. She sounded really panicked, and she jumped up and took a step backward, toppling onto the coffee table and knocking over one of the drinks.

“Shit, are you okay?” I asked.

Trinity shook her head and got up, making sure that she put the coffee table between us. Her eyes looked so scared. “I’m fine. Just stay away,” she said.

“I’m sorry. I thought you wanted this to,” I said.

“I...uh…”

I sat back down in the chair, and tossed Trinity her t-shirt. She turned around when she put it on. I know it wasn’t out of modestly. She didn’t want me to see her emotions; they were very hard for her to hide on her face, even when she refused to just state what they were.

“Can I have a bit more time if I promise to behave?” I asked.

“Sure, fine,” she said. Trinity sat back down and folded her arms protectively in front of her.

“I didn’t mean to freak you out. You have my word that I’ll behave.”

“As a gentleman?”

I laughed. “Hell no, but as a guy who has no desire to persuade someone to be intimate with me if they don’t want to be.”

“It’s not that,” Trinity said.

“It’s not what?” I asked. Interesting choice of words.

“Nothing,” Trinity said. She paused and then turned her head to look at me, and I saw a fiery determination in her eyes. “What are your feelings for me, exactly?” she asked.

Shit. She was turning the tables on me. I wasn’t nearly as comfortable answering these questions as I was asking them. Karma had kicked me in the ass.

“I think we have something really interesting going, or we had, and it was nice. I’m just trying to peg why it changed.”

“We were having fun, no commitments and nothing serious. That’s the page I thought we were on,” Trinity said.

“You didn’t think it might change as we got to know each other better?” I asked, my heart in a free fall. I didn’t want no-commitment sex. I could get that whenever I wanted.

“I don’t want to be a bitch, but no, I didn’t think that at all,” Trinity said to me. “I don’t do relationships because I’m not good at them.”

“How do you know you aren’t good if you never try?”

“As my dad would say, ‘you don’t have to get shot to know it would hurt.’”

I couldn’t help but release a hearty laugh at that. “Are you saying that having a relationship is comparable to getting shot? That’s some simile.”

“You know what I mean, Hunter. You may be a lot of things, but you are not stupid.”

“What type of things am I?” I asked. I wanted to turn this conversation back over to me controlling it. Trinity was good, too good.

“Well, right now you’re good at being a pain in the ass, and if I didn’t have my besties—or maybe ex-besties—right outside this door, I’d think you were a psycho, and I’d have to slam you in your jolly jigglers.”

“You’d kick a guy in the nuts for wanting to talk with you?”

“Not most, but you…maybe,” she said to me. I did see a smile, though. She expressed herself best by not being too serious. I just had to learn her code and hope to hell I was really processing it the right way.

“Okay, I’m not a psycho. What am I?”

“You’re a musician who doesn’t do drugs. I know that,” Trinity said.

“Surface stuff; tell me something more personal,” I challenged.

Trinity didn’t say anything for a few seconds. That would really suck if it was that hard to come up with a good quality about me. Finally, she shared what she’d come up with. “You look out for people in need. That’s pretty cool.”

“What do you mean?” I honestly didn’t know.

“There’s that guy at the coffee house…that was really stand-up.  Oh, and you helped find me another job since my one back home was cancelled. That was pretty nice, and I appreciate it.”

“Thanks.” Helping the guy was a no brainer for me and as for helping Trin, I did do that, and it was funny, I really hadn’t thought about it. To me, it hadn’t been a big deal, but it had been to her. And if I were completely honest, maybe I’d had an ulterior motive. Maybe I’d just wanted her to stick around longer.

“Does this really bother you that I’d tricked you like this?” I asked. Remorse was starting to creep into my thoughts, just a bit.

“I underestimated you, and I really don’t get why, Hunter. This is a lot of work, and you’re not a guy who has a lot of free time on your hands, so I really don’t get it.”

“Honestly, I can’t say that I get it, either. There are certain times when you just know that someone isn’t being honest with you, and it is important to discover why, or at least try to understand it,” I said.

“Are you saying that you’ve been honest with me?” Trinity asked.

“I haven’t deliberately lied,” I said.

“But you’ve un-deliberately lied? About what?” she continued.

“Damn, you practicing to be an attorney?” I asked.

“No, but if we’re playing hot seat, I might as well get ready for the role, Hunter.”

“I’ll play hot seat with you any time,” I said, spreading my legs apart just a bit and patting my thighs for her to come sit on my lap again. She laughed, just like I’d hoped. “Though it’s not really as sexy and fun as I thought it would be.”

“Your plan failed? What was your ideal conclusion?” Trinity asked me.

I could not answer that question. There was no way.

“Your silence makes me think that you were hoping I’d confess having some sort of crazy emotions for you, confess my obsession, have some sex to confirm it, and then we’d leave this room together. As what, I have no idea.”

“Stop it, I didn’t mean it like that,” I said. “Trinity, you want the truth from me. Fine, I’ll tell you.” I breathed in and started talking—fast so I’d get as much out before I lost my nerve. “You drive me so fucking crazy, and it should bother the shit out of me, but it doesn’t. I love it. I love how challenging you are, and how much you keep me on my toes when we’re together. Whether we’re talking or having sex, it’s intense and it’s full of emotion, and I think it’s awesome. I’ve never felt it before, and I don’t know what the hell that means, exactly, but I know that you are someone that I want to explore having more with.” I thought I was going to collapse. I hadn’t breathed through the entire confession.

I had been looking at Trinity, and I still was. She was looking at me, her mouth half opened, and her tongue darting in and out on the corner of her mouth. I’d noticed her do that when she was surprised, or trying to figure things out. It had been doing that the entire time she’d stood on the bungee jump platform, too, right up until she started screaming.

Silence.

I couldn’t handle it anymore. A few seconds seemed like an hour. “Well?” I finally said.

“I’m sorry, Hunter,” she said. “I don’t feel the same way, this isn’t smart for me,” she said.

“Not smart?” I questioned. “Emotions are never smart. What are you feeling? You asked me to tell you, and I did.” Of course, I knew her resistance likely was not good at this point.

“I am not ready to explore a real relationship right now. It’s not the right time.”

“Not the right time. Why?”

Trinity stood up and turned her back to me, and then whipped around. “It doesn’t matter why, Hunter. I’m out of here. I’m suddenly feeling a bit tired.”

I let her go, just watched her walk out the door. What else could I do?  She didn’t turn and look at me, or say any word at all. Was I that wrong about her, or was she that scared to have a relationship? I hoped I was just wrong so I could process it, move on, and forget about it. I guessed I brought it all on myself. I’d insisted on her for the video because the song was inspired by her; I’d created this plan to trap her and force some sort of heartfelt confession. I’d done it with good intentions, but now that I was burned, I felt like it had been the dumbest idea I’d ever had. And I’d had plenty in my life.

I pulled out my cell phone and texted Brynn, just in case she hadn’t already intercepted Trinity.
Mission failed.

Then I slumped into my chair and flopped my head back, staring up at the ceiling. I could hear lively music playing outside, people having fun and hooking up. All I wanted was to go home, and maybe have a stiff drink.
Fuck
, I thought, and for good measure, I repeated it a few times.

“You okay?” someone asked. I looked through my peripheral and saw Jessie standing there, her blonde hair swaying as she peaked around the corner of the door.

“I’m fine.”

“Mind if I come in for a minute?” she asked.

I looked at her, her kind smile and soft demeanor. She was one of those women who was smart, and so sweet—not at all my type, truth be told, but at the moment, she looked like an angel, and I was glad to see her. I waved my hand for her to come in, and she shut the door.