Hunting the Dark (34 page)

Her sharp eyes narrowed. ‘Of course. That’s my job now.’

Her job.
I hoped that would be enough for Theo. Especially now that Nicole was gone.

Holly put her hand on my shoulder. ‘And while you’re out there, in the big bad human world you seem to love so much, I want you do something for
me
.’

‘Sure.’ I frowned, wondering what it could possibly be.

‘Remember what I said about second chances, OK?’

Tears pricked my eyes. ‘I’ll do my best.’

And with that, we were off.

I sat by the Charles River, watching the sunset and waiting to say goodbye. Waiting for a second chance – one that I chose for myself, this time.

It was peaceful out here. This part of the River Walk used to be one of my favorite spots to grab some alone time. But then I met a man who changed everything, and I could never quite bring myself to return. I’d missed it. Maybe I would sit here more often, perhaps even bring my sketchpad.

Dusk settled in like an old friend.

Theo appeared beside me, quiet as a shadow. He laid a pale hand on the back of the bench and smiled at me. ‘May I?’

My throat tightened and I had to swallow before I could speak. ‘Of course.’

He sat down and we watched the last few boats on the water. Theo knew why I was here, and I knew he would try to talk me out of it. He might forbid it, and things could get very bad. But I’d already told him I was moving back home to be with my sisters, and the world hadn’t ended. He had surprised me, actually, by just  . . . accepting the news. He’d hardly said a word, although I’d seen a flash of realization in his eyes even then.

Maybe I wasn’t the only one who was changing. Maybe the effects of losing his Maker would stay with him for the rest of his, hopefully, very long life.

Theo stretched his arms along the back of the bench –
our
bench – everything in his body language saying that he was at ease with our conversation. The silver in his eyes told me that it was a lie.

‘We have been through this before, my Moth,’ he said. ‘Many times.’

‘I know,’ I said. ‘But this time is different.’

‘You are so very young,’ he said, echoing Nicole’s words to him on the night she died.

I batted my eyelashes. ‘That’s what you love about me.’

He frowned. ‘Your humanity is still too close to the surface.’

That’s what I love about myself
, I wanted to say. But I didn’t.

He touched my face. ‘But that will change. In time.’

‘I don’t want it to change,’ I said. ‘I want to stay me. Marie.’

‘But you are also Moth.’

‘Yes,’ I agreed. That was undeniably true. How could I shut out half of who I was? It was easy for me to moan about it, but the truth was  . . . Theo was in my blood. Literally. He’d made a mistake, sure. A terrible mistake. But he’d tried to fix it the only way he could – with the power he possessed in his own blood, that night he saved me from death. By making me a part of him, and him a part of me in return.

The fact that I hadn’t asked for him to do it just didn’t enter the equation, no matter how unfair it was. It wasn’t like he’d planned it. I knew that.

But that didn’t mean I couldn’t begin to change things now. Now that I was stronger and more sure of myself. If being a prisoner of the Nemesis Project had taught me anything, it was that I was a survivor. Yes, I still had a long way to go, but for the first time in over a year I was actually looking forward to the journey. It was a journey I wanted to make without Theo, and that was what I was trying to explain to him tonight. This was the right thing to do. The
healthy
thing – maybe even for both of us.

Didn’t make me feel any less sad about it.

I also felt incredibly guilty, considering how bad my timing was. Theo had lost Nicole, and now he was ‘losing’ me. Not to mention the human family he had lost back in Ireland, many years ago in another lifetime.

And now, here we were: Theo and I. It had taken us days of talking before we could even get to this point. If I’d had my way, we would have waited to have this final conversation – at least until
after
Dad’s service – but Theo had insisted that we clear the air as soon as possible. Move forward. Maybe he really did think that he could talk me out of striking out on my own.

‘I have a right to my own life, don’t I?’ I said, as I kept my eyes firmly fixed on the water. Anything was better than looking at the pain on his face. ‘Theo, I want to go to college, spend time with my sisters.
Both
of them.’

Incredibly enough, it was true – especially now that our father was gone and it was just the three of us. I also wanted to spend more time with a certain Jason Murdoch. I kept that part to myself, though. Even
I
was sensitive enough to know not to mention my secret hopes when it came to Jace. But I’d promised Caitlín that I would move back home and to try to make it work. It was a promise I intended to keep, one way or another.

‘Theo?’ I said, trying to get some kind of reaction from him. Even anger would be better than nothing, at this point. But he only looked sad.

He turned away from me, and I could almost swear there had been tears glittering in his eyes. Or maybe it was just a trick of the moonlight. ‘I could force you,’ he said, his voice husky. ‘I could make you stay.’

‘I know.’ I clenched my hands together in my lap. ‘I know that.’

‘You belong to me.’

‘I don’t belong to you, Theo. I belong to
me
.’

‘You will always belong to me,’ he said. ‘At least, in part.’

I nodded, giving him that much. ‘Perhaps. In part.’

‘Would that  . . .
part
want to visit me? If I
did
let you go?’

It felt like my heart was breaking, but I kept it together. ‘Not to begin with,’ I said. ‘I’ll need space. Do you understand?’

He said nothing, but I knew that he was listening to every word. For the first time ever, it felt like he really heard me.

‘Maybe later,’ I continued, trying to make it better. ‘We have plenty of time.’

‘We could meet here,’ he said. His expression was wistful, and he looked younger than he had since Nicole’s death. ‘You could sketch the boats.’

‘Bring a book to read,’ I replied, smiling through my own tears. ‘You know I don’t like to talk when I’m drawing.’

He touched my face and stared at me for a very long time.

I listened to the water, wondering what I would do if he said no. Would I fight him? ‘Theo,’ I pleaded, finally breaking the silence. ‘What will it take for you to—?’

‘Life is for living,’ he said, interrupting me. ‘Go.’

‘You’re serious?’ My legs felt like jelly and I knew that if I attempted to stand at that moment, I would fall right down again. ‘Do you mean it?’

He closed his eyes. ‘Goodbye, my Moth.’

The tears were flowing freely down my face now, and I stumbled to my feet before I could change my mind.

I finally did it: I walked away from him.

And, just like that, he let me go.

The following week, I was all moved in. Back in the O’Neal house with my sisters.

Home.

Caitlín called up the stairs to me, delight in her voice. ‘He’s here!’ She’d been waiting at the window for the past twenty minutes, and no amount of pleading on my part would make her stop. She was dying to catch her first glimpse of him.

My supersonic ears picked up the sound of a car engine.
Crap.
I sped around my room, still trying to decide whether I should change my clothes. Again. Sue me for being girly. I was running late, which only made me more stressed. But surely Jace was early – wasn’t he?

I checked the time. Nope. It really was just me who was late.

‘Are you ready?’ Cait yelled.

‘I’ll be two minutes!’ I shouted back, panicking about what I looked like. Having second thoughts about this stupid dress. About the whole stupid
date
.

Caitlín had helped me to get ready, relishing the idea of making me look as feminine as possible. ‘Do you want me to get some barrettes?’ she had asked, totally serious, all the while bouncing up and down. ‘I have silver ones.’ She had, quite literally, been dancing around me. This was
fun
for her, dammit. ‘They’d look super-cute in your hair,’ she said.

‘No,’ I had replied, feeling genuinely horrified. ‘That’s just going too far.’

When Jace’s car arrived, she thundered up the stairs and stuck her head around the door of my room. ‘What are you
doing
in there?’ she grouched. ‘You’re taking forever.’

‘Don’t talk to me about forever, kid,’ I said, putting on a Dirk Bogart voice. ‘We’ll be here all day.’

Caitlín cracked up. And then she had to ruin it all by crying.

‘Oh my God,
what
?’ I hugged her. ‘I’ll wear the barrettes if you’ll stop crying. What is it, Cait?’

‘You just look so beautiful,’ she said. ‘You really, really do.’

‘
That’s
why you’re crying?’

Caitlín sniffed loudly and wiped her eyes, staring at me with a quivering smile on her lips. ‘You look just like Mom.’

My mouth dropped open, and then I closed it again because there wasn’t a whole lot I could really say to that. Even the blank space of the mirror didn’t matter – not in that moment, anyway. Maybe I’d been right about my little sister being all the mirror I needed.

Now here we were, and Jace had arrived and I still wasn’t ready.

‘I can send him up,’ she said, and she wasn’t asking a question. I didn’t bother to reply because Caitlín would do whatever she wanted.

Seconds later there was a tap at the door.

‘Moth?’

He was standing outside my bedroom, in my parents’ house. I froze in the center of the room, like a rabbit caught in very bright and deadly headlights.
Prey
.

I didn’t say anything;
couldn’t
say anything.

Jace was still waiting, separated by a blue-painted door. A door that I still hadn’t opened.

‘I’ll just wait downstairs,’ he called, sounding confused, and I heard his footsteps begin to descend.

‘Wait!’ I zipped to the door and opened it fast enough to create a miniature whirlwind. ‘Oops.’

Jace was still at the top of the stairs, jostling for space with Oscar, the family dog, who’d followed him up to see what was going on. There was a minor scuffle as we all waited to see who would emerge victorious, and I suppressed a smile as Oscar slipped through Jace’s legs and flew into my room.

‘Sit!’ I commanded, turning my attention to my dog. He seemed happy to have me home, but that didn’t mean he was any more likely to actually
listen
to me. He wagged his tail and grinned a doggy sort of grin, then jumped onto my bed. I sighed and turned back to my human visitor.

Jace’s eyes were a little wide as he hovered in the doorway, and he looked as nervous as I felt. To be honest, he didn’t smell all that anxious, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t. Right? In fact, now that I thought about it, he smelled freaking delicious – and for once I didn’t mean that in a weird I-want-to-eat-you kind of way. He had aftershave on, and the scent filled the small landing at the top of the stairs, making my toes curl.

I’d rarely seen him in anything other than jeans and that (now-deceased) army jacket. He usually had some kind of weapon in his hand. Tonight, Jace was wearing a black suit – although he was carrying the jacket – with a slightly creased white shirt and a skinny black tie. His hair, usually a spiky mess, was gelled and his brown eyes looked almost black in the near-darkness. He had a tiny scar through his left eyebrow – no silver ring, thanks to his rough treatment at the Facility. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up and I could see the larger, jagged scar on his wrist.

My whole body tightened and we gazed at one another. He looked me over from head to toe, and his cheeks grew a little flushed.

I wondered where he’d hidden his knife. Or his gun. Maybe he’d left them in the car with his crossbow. I rolled my eyes. Only I could fall for a vampire hunter.
Retired
vampire hunter, I reminded myself.

Jace was staring at me with open admiration. I was wearing The Dress. You know, the dress that Caitlín had made me buy before all this started. I’d sold out and become Vampire Cinderella for one night only. In spite of my mild self-disgust, I had to admit that the dress was pretty cool. It was a short silver tunic that hit me just above the knee, and it consisted of hundreds of over-sized silver sequins. It was tricky for me to get the overall picture, what with the whole mirror challenge, but I figured I might look a bit like a fish. You know, with shimmering scales. Cait had assured me that it was meant to look more like armor. Sort of like chainmail. I wasn’t convinced, but had to take her word for it.

So, I was wearing The Dress with black pumps.
Flat
pumps, but still  . . . actual Girl’s Shoes. Every time I looked down I could see them, right there on my feet. My white ankles looked super-skinny and I’d almost forgotten what they looked like.

‘Jace,’ I said, sounding strangely breathless. ‘I’m sorry I’m running late. I couldn’t decide what to wear, and then I put this on and I wasn’t sure. And then I couldn’t see what it looked like and then I thought maybe I’m too dressy, you know? So I changed, but I only got halfway through changing before I figured I might as well wear it, and now I can see that you’ve dressed up too, so that’s good. But maybe I should—’

‘Shut up, freak,’ he said, smiling at me and striding into my room without an invitation.

He took a good look around while I just watched him, not sure what to do with myself. I clutched my hands in front of me and waited for him to say or do something.

‘You worry too much,’ he said, closing the distance between us and leaning down so that I got a strong whiff of that super-gorgeous scent he was wearing. He brushed his lips against my cheek.

I swallowed hunger and desire. I tentatively opened the door to hope.

Thinking of ‘hope’, I touched his arm. ‘How’s  . . . your sister?’
Whoa.
Just saying it made it all seem real.