Hunting the Hero (24 page)

“Oh, the debate that went into his choice of his first wife, you would not believe. I remember his mama worrying that he’d never choose a woman on his own. With her gone, he’ll have to make the decisions himself, or maybe Lady Farnsworth would steer him in the right direction. I wonder if he’ll marry for love this time instead of for duty? He told us yesterday he needs a son, but he married for duty last time and didn’t get one.”

A lump formed in her throat. His reliance on the condom to avoid getting her with child sprang to mind. Of course he wouldn’t want a bastard to spoil his plans for the future. He must have been relieved that she could take care of any indiscretion herself. “I thought,” she swallowed. “I thought His Lordship loved his wife.”

Mrs. Smith patted her hand. “Oh, he did love her, but as is often the case, not at first. Arranged marriages are rarely a love match, but I’m sentimental. I like the idea of two people meeting and marrying despite their connections and fortune. As long as their heart is in the right place, I’d not care one whit for their background. It’s not that he needs the funds a dowry would bring. All he needs is someone young enough to bear him a son, and maybe a spare into the bargain.” Mrs. Smith bit into her minced tart and moaned. “Cook really has outdone herself this year.”

Meredith’s stomach tumbled over and over. She and Mrs. Smith held the same idea of the reasons to marry, except Meredith had never imagined those reasons ever applied to herself. The most she had considered was the idea of being Constantine’s mistress. “That she has. Would you excuse me?” Meredith thought she might be sick.
 

If Constantine intended to marry, then why hadn’t he said so? If she’d known, she’d never have spent last night in his arms because now she had lapsed once she feared she’d never be able to stop. Could she bear to look on as his properly connected wife brought his heir and a spare into the world? She’d have to leave. She couldn’t face that prospect. Yet it would break her heart to leave him and his daughters.

The time spent in Constantine’s arms had filled a void, and throughout the day she’d been anticipating his being inappropriate with her person many times. Except he hadn’t come close again. He’d been near but kept a respectable distance. There were servants about in almost every room. She’d not caught a moment alone with him since she’d left his bed. Had he only wanted her closer at night when he could touch her intimately? Had he only wanted someone to fill the void until he could survey the latest crop of debutantes this season?

But that wasn’t good enough for Meredith anymore. She wanted more of his touch to go along with his laughter. She wanted what they had during the day as well as the contentment of last night. She was tired of being second best. She wanted…
 

Willow tugged her sleeve. “Are they going to play?”
 

Several servants had converged in one corner, their hands holding instruments, including fiddles and lutes. Despite the rare treat, Meredith’s mood did not improve. She would not leave Willow, Maisy, and Poppy to be neglected by Grayling’s next wife when a son came along. “It appears so.”

Willow clapped her hands together and then tugged Meredith until they had a clear view of the musicians. When they sat on a lounge placed close to the fire, Maisy rushed over to climb into her lap. Meredith cuddled the girl fiercely. She would never allow anyone to neglect them again. They were too important to her to see them hurt.

 
Across the room, Poppy noticed her sisters had gone and began to cry. Before Meredith could fetch her, Constantine scooped his weeping daughter into his arms and they took up the remaining two places on the lounge. Meredith glanced sideways and he grinned at her. Blasted man. How dare he look so happy when he planned to get married?
 

His grin faded. “Is something wrong?”

“Everything.” The rate he was going, grinning at her like that, the servants would guess there was so much more between them. Once the new wife came and the gossips shared their suspicions, she’d be sent away from the girls.

She kept her eyes steadily forward on the players and fought her temper back into submission. She almost had it under control until Poppy stood on the lounge and latched on to her hair with her little fists. She winced and jerked back. “Don’t do that.”

Constantine shuffled closer and carefully loosened Poppy’s grip. “I swear she only hurts the ones she loves.” He sat the child on his lap and clapped Poppy’s hands in time with the music when it began. “You wouldn’t happen to play the pianoforte, would you?” he asked, leaning against her shoulder.

Meredith stiffened her spine. She had dispensed with most of the arts necessary for a lady of good breeding. “Not for a long time. I’m sure I’m out of practice.”
 

Constantine grinned. “Then you should practice. There is a pianoforte in the drawing room. I’ll ask Cunningham to have it tuned soon.”

“No, thank you. I’m sure I’ll be too busy.”

He bounced his daughter on his knee in time with the music. “Did you play for many years before you became out of practice?”

Meredith slanted her gaze in Constantine’s direction. Why bother getting to know her if he planned to marry someone else? “Fishing again?”

“I like fishing,” he told her. “It requires patience and trickery.”

If he would just go away, she’d have a hope of controlling her temper. But the man was blind. Every time he looked at her, he smiled. How could he when she was so angry with him? Did he think he had the right to toy with her affections like this? “I played poorly till I was sixteen.”

“What happened after sixteen?”

“I never played again.” Meredith rested her cheek on Maisy’s head and listened to the rest of the tune in fuming silence. When the next one called for dancing, she immediately declined Constantine’s invitation to dance with him. He studied her a while before he passed Poppy to Miss Cunningham to entertain and then requested a dance with the housekeeper, then Cook, before he finally collected Willow for a dance.
 

Meredith watched the laughing pair as Constantine struggled to juggle his smaller dance partner while holding on to his dignity. It appeared to be quite a stretch and in the end he lifted his daughter into his arms and waltzed her about the room.
 

That seemed the sign for the remaining servants to partner together. Sets were formed as the tune changed. Mrs. Smith and Cunningham made a regal pair while the younger ones moved a little awkwardly. Willow pulled Maisy away to dance together, turning in circles without any real idea of what they were doing. They were beautiful. The lost, sad children she had first met had fled.

When another dance concluded, Constantine approached. “May I have the pleasure of this dance, Miss Clark?”

How could any woman deny such a gallant invitation? Even when she was in a temper and there were servants all around. Meredith reluctantly placed her hand in his. “Of course, my lord.”

He called out to the players. “A waltz, if you please.”

The other servants drew back to give them space and to stare. Meredith was not sure she wanted to be center of attention, but Constantine did not give her a choice or a chance to back out. He pulled her into his arms and smiled. “What didn’t I do?”

“I’ve no idea what you mean,” Meredith muttered as the music started. When the dance ended, she intended to leave the party.

From the first step, Meredith knew she was in the hands of an accomplished dancer. His sure grip and measured tread proved him a master at the art. She succumbed to instinct, remembering the discipline a former dancing master had drummed into her head with such condescension. A lady must follow a man’s lead. How those words had made her angry when she was young. At least in Constantine arms, there was no danger of having her toes mashed as her brother had used to do. Constantine was born for the best life had to offer, which made Meredith even more bad tempered.

A chill raced over her and she quickly brought her mind back to the here and now. It was best to never think on what she’d run away from. Regrets were for the foolish and weak.

Constantine spun her to the sidelines and stopped in front of the fire before the tune ended. The room broke out in applause. She glanced around with an embarrassed smile and was relieved when another set formed and the dancing resumed.

Constantine’s hand fluttered over her back. “Cold again, or was that an unpleasant memory?”

Meredith increased the space between them and regarded him warily. “Whyever would you think such a thing, my lord?”

A frown tugged at his lips and he glanced around them. No one was near enough to hear. “Your mood has changed considerably as the day has worn on. I much preferred the way you looked when you snuck from my bed this morning. I hope you found no fault with my dancing.”

“None, my lord.” Meredith drew a deep breath. “You dance so well I forgot I was out of practice. I merely remembered that my toes were once squashed by a terrible dance partner.”

“A former suitor?”

“No.” She smiled sadly. “A brother.”

His brows rose at her admission. On a normal day Meredith did not like to think of the past. She’d not lose any more peace than she had previously with thinking of them. It was only at Christmastime that she couldn’t bury her memories completely. At Christmas she missed her family so much she ached, but finding out Constantine planned to marry had added far more pain to the season.

Instead of pressing for more information, Constantine smiled and gestured across the room. “Well, I for one am pleased to spare your feet from mischance. You dance very well. Would you like to sit again?”

For the number of hours Meredith had spent in lessons when she’d rather have run free, it was not surprising that some part of her former life had remained. “Thank you.”

That twinkling light returned to his eyes. As they made their way back to the couch, he took Poppy from Miss Cunningham and set her between them. “Now, while we are alone, I wanted to tell you we’re leaving the Hall for a short holiday after the new year begins.”

A ripple of anger filled her. Her breath grew difficult to catch. “Oh?”

Constantine’s eyes softened. “Nothing too arduous. But we will need to pack for a weeklong sojourn, maybe two. I’ll leave my daughter’s preparations in your capable hands, if I may. Be sure to pack warmly.”

Meredith swallowed. She wasn’t prepared to lose him so soon. Not yet. She needed more time. “You’re going to take them in the middle of winter?”

Constantine looked out over the gathering, a regretful expression on his face. “While this is pleasant, I’ve put off visiting my family for some time and I’m regretting that today. It has been a long time since I’ve seen them, and I’d like to begin the new year with a visit. There have been many changes in their lives that I’ve missed by being wrapped up in my own affairs.”

The relief that coursed through her was immediate. She took a moment to get her thoughts in order. She didn’t want him to know how happy the news made her. “You were grieving.”

“So were they. But I intend to mend the breach, do the pretty, and accept responsibility for my mistakes. I want you there with me. The girls would not like to leave you behind. Please say you’ll come with us.”

Meredith glanced about to make sure they were not being watched. She was very sure they could not be overheard, so she did not have to moderate her voice. “I’m a servant, my lord. Of course I would travel with the children.”

“You are much more to us than that. I’d prefer you to come of your own free will. Perhaps I was not clear last night about my intentions.”

“Your intentions?”

He eased back in the chair, looking to everyone else a man completely at ease. Meredith knew better. “I don’t dabble with my servants.”

“So what does that make me?”

“A woman I want to know in every way imaginable. A woman I want to wake up beside no matter how long it takes her to accept that.” He glanced at her briefly, his smile warm, his expressive eyes lust filled. “You know me. You know my nature and temperament. I want you, but I don’t want to force you to anything. I admire you. From what I’ve learned from the tidbits you’ve let slip, you have survived whatever it was that befell you with remarkable courage. I would like to make you forget that if I can.”

Meredith stared across the room without really seeing it. “There is no escaping the past.”

“Forgive me if I disagree. I was once a married man. I loved my wife, but she is gone and I have put her memory where it belongs. Behind me. Life is for the living and I want to live it boldly. With you.”

If Meredith hadn’t been sitting, she would have fallen. “Are you proposing to marry me? You cannot be serious.”

His glance grew sly. “I never said a word about marriage, but I could be tempted if the right woman, with an honest name, presented herself for consideration. Now, if you will excuse me, I must hand out gifts. Think on it, Meredith. There is nothing I wouldn’t face with a woman who placed her trust in me absolutely. And remember, pack your warmest gowns.”

“Wait.” Meredith grasped at the most immediate concern. “Where exactly are we going?”

“That I cannot tell you. It’s a secret.” His smile was serene. “I hope you like surprises.”