Hurt Me (2 page)

“Do you know what time it is?” he whispered in my ear.

I could smell the whiskey on his breath. It made my stomach churn. He pulled my head back by my hair. I winced in pain and felt his tongue on my neck. He was always worse when he was drunk. “I’m sorry baby” I pleaded. “I got some tips though”. I started for the money in my pocket. I was trying to distract him and money almost always worked. But out with the money came the note that Allen gave to me. I forgot to throw it away. I felt my heart stop and I couldn’t breathe.

“
Well aren’t you sweet?” Lee whispered in my ear again. He grabbed the money and the note from me and put it on the counter without even looking at it, still not letting me go. I was breathing heavily, nervous at what was going to happen next. He dragged me into the bedroom by my hair. I wanted to scream but I learned the hard way that screaming only made it worse. Lee threw me on the bed and had his way with me. I tried my hardest not to put up a fight anymore. Feeling his sweat drip on me and the sound of his grunts made me want to throw up. When Lee was spent he rolled off me and fell quickly asleep. Feeling disgusted I got up and went to take a shower. I hated this. I wanted out so bad but I was so scared to leave. Lee always told me he would kill me if I ever tried to leave again.

I turned the hot water on and let it run until the whole bathroom was filled with steam before I got in. Feeling the hot water run down my body felt so relaxing. It gave me a moment to let my mind be somewhere else, anywhere else but here. I started thinking of Allen. I wonder how a man like that would treat a woman. He was so big; I couldn’t imagine being hit by him. I rubbed my hands over my face and started to scrub my body until it was raw. I wanted all of Lee off me. I got out of the shower dried off and went back in the kitchen to
get my note that was still on the counter.

   I stood in the kitchen with my back leaning on the counter holding the folded up note, debating on whether I should even read it or not. My curiosity got the best of me.

Thank you for the coffee sweet Evangeline I hope to see you again soon.
He left his cell phone number on the bottom with his name, like I would forget it. I held the note to my chest and wished my life could be different. Feeling so relieved that Lee didn’t even notice the note I ripped it into tiny pieces that would never be able to fit together again and hid them in the bottom of the trash. I finally went back into our bedroom to lie down. I stared at Lee while he laid there sleeping. I had so much hate for him that it seethed through my body. I clenched my fists at my sides and took some deep breaths to calm myself. I finally crawled into bed careful not to wake him; I made a blanket barrier between Lee and me and forced myself to fall asleep.

Chapter Four

   A few weeks or so passed and Allen never came back to the diner. I couldn’t help but feel kind of sad. He was at least nice to look at. I guess me not calling really took a blow to his ego. Lee had been surprisingly calm the last few days. He won a big bet and he has been living high off his winnings. He didn’t even have the audacity to pay any bills with it, just booze and more gambling.

I was supposed to get off at noon today since I came in early but as usual on Fridays jenny always asked me to work her late shift. I didn’t mind because the tips were better, almost worth the beating from Lee. It put more money in my secret stash. It was a slow Friday though, which kind of put me in a bad mood. I was counting on these tips. I knew one day I would get away but I needed to make sure that I had the money to do it because if it went bad I had no doubt in my mind that Lee would kill me.

   It was getting late and I already called Lee to let him know I was working the evening shift. He huffed and told me
“we would talk about this when I got home.” I knew what that meant and I was dreading it. I knew Lee was mad just from the tone of his voice over the phone. I started preparing my mind for it.

It was getting close to closing and I just cleared my last table. I heard the jingle from the door and looked up, there he was. Allen was still beautiful, maybe even more beautiful than the last time he was here. He looked at me and smiled and took a seat in the same booth as before. I started feeling butterflies in my stomach and I felt a blush creeping its way onto my cheeks. “This is stupid” I said quietly to myself. “You don’t even know this man.” I grabbed my notepad and pen and went to take his order. “What can I get
ya?” He looked at me smiling. “Can I get a burger, ketchup only with a big sweet tea?”

“Just
ketchup?” I asked, giving him a confused look. He laughed and nodded. I took his order to Al the owner and cook. He took it without even looking up. I got Allen’s sweet tea and took it to him, very careful not to spill it on him again.

“Thank
ya ma’am.” He grabbed his glass and starting taking these long gulps. I watched him completely distracted by the way he drank down his tea, watching his Adams apple bob up and down as he swallowed. He looked up at me when he finished drinking the whole glass of tea and wiggled his eyebrows at me. “You like what you see?” he asked me in a cocky tone. I blushed and looked at the ground.  “Can I get some more, please?” he requested in a sweet tone. He handed me his glass and I took it. My fingers accidently laid over his and I just stopped and stared at our hands. I felt that automatic connection again. When our skin touched it made my butterflies start swarming and my face and ears were starting to turn hot. I finally pulled the glass to my chest, looked at him, nodded, and slowly turned to get him some more. By that time Al was done with his burger, I grabbed the plate and took it to him. I sat everything in front of Allen and turned to walk away. “Evangeline, would you like to sit with me?” He looked so sincere. My breath caught and I couldn’t talk. His grey eyes seemed to storm. “No one likes to eat alone.” He looked at me with the slightest bit of hope in his eyes.

“I shouldn’t
, I’m sorry.” I wanted to so bad but I knew if Lee saw that, it would be the end of me and possibly him. Allen was bigger than Lee, but Lee was ruthless.

“Just for a few minutes?
” Allen begged.

I don’t know what took over me. It could have been the look in his eyes or the yearning in my heart to talk to a man that didn’t want to hurt me. I turned and looked at the empty side of the booth and sat down.

“Well, I didn’t think that would actually work.” Allen looked proud of himself. I blushed again and just looked at him. He took a bite of his burger and when he swallowed he looked up at me smiling.

“How are you today
, Evangeline?”

“I’m fine, thanks.
And how about you Allen?”

“I’ve had better days. I’ve been bored. I don’t know what to do with myself around here.”

“What do you mean?” I was curious as to what he did for a living.

“Well I’ve been deployed for the last 3 years, and now that I’m
back home I’m kind of just stuck with nothing to do.

“Oh wow
, three years is a long time.” I wasn’t surprised to hear he was military. He looked the part.

“
How long have you worked here at the diner?”

I cleared my throat, something I did out of nervous habit
. “Um, maybe about 4 years.”

“How old are you?” H
e looked at me full of curiosity.

“I’m
twenty-three.”

“No way!” he looked at her in shock. “You look so young.”

I blushed again. “Thanks, I guess.” I looked down at my hands.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way. It’s a good thing.”

   I smiled at Allen trying to figure him out. Why was he so comfortable with me? Why was he even talking to me? I mean he is so gorgeous and I’m no beauty queen. I was only allowed to wear cover up when it was to cover a bruise; I wasn’t allowed to use it to make myself look better. Lee would never allow it. He hated it when guys stared at me and some reason blamed me for it every time, calling me a slut and a whore saying I begged for their attention. I can remember hearing a girl describe me as homely once, whatever that meant.

   I watched Allen inhale his burger and tea
. As soon as he was done I went to excuse myself. Allen stood up when I did.

“Thanks for the company.” He said, reaching for my hand and kissing the top of it like he did the last time he was here.

“Um, no problem.” I stumbled over my words. I looked up and Allen’s eyes were staring directly into mine. It made my heart drop into my stomach. He reached up to push some hair behind my ear and I flinched expecting a blow to the side of my head. And right after I suddenly hated myself. The look in his eyes was haunting. I turned as fast as I could and went to the back of the diner to calm myself down.

Chapter Five

  I stood there shocked as to what happened. Why did Evangeline flinch like that? I would never hit a woman. Not even if she hit me. My parents raised me better. But the look of fear on her face made me feel like a monster. I just wanted to touch her, I wanted to feel her hair and take in her scent. She was beautiful. Still in shock I paid for my food and left. I needed to clear my mind. Something about this woman made my head all foggy. She is all I could think about for the last few weeks. I was never like this about woman but Eve was different. I walked a little down the street and lit up a cigarette. I was supposed to be quitting but that wasn’t going too well for me. I wanted to wait for her to get off work. I needed to apologize for what I did. I didn’t mean to scare her. I paced back and forth for about half an hour before I decided to just sit and wait.

   I sat there
for what seemed like an eternity waiting to talk to her. About eleven she finally walked out. I quickly walked up to her and started to apologize. “Hey Eve, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’m sorry.” I looked at her and she stared up at me confused.

“Oh it’s ok. Don’t worry about it. Did you just call me Eve?”

I looked confused for a second. “You don’t like being called eve?”

“No one has ever called me that. It sounds nice though, I like it.” She looked up at me smiling sweetly.

“Do you want to go get a cup of coffee?” I was praying so hard that she would say yes.

“I can’t Allen.” She said bluntly.

I gave her my best puppy dog eyes. “Please? You wouldn’t make a solider drink a cup of coffee all by his self would you?”

She looked up at me, her violet eyes turning even darker. “I’m married Allen. It would probably be best if you just left me alone.”

I felt like I got punched in the gut. I should have known that a woman like her would be taken. I looked down at her hand and saw no ring. I thought maybe she was lying. I felt a little hope build in my chest. “Well then where’s your ring?”

“My husband never
gave me one.” She said sadly with a distant look in her eye. I gave her a comforting smile. I never heard of a man not wanting to put a ring on his wife. Maybe they just couldn’t afford it.

“Well there is nothing wrong with two friends drinking coffee.” I was trying anything just to get her to stay with me a little longer.

“I gotta get home Allen. I’m sorry. I mean it though you should probably just leave me alone. It’s for the best.” She put her head down and started walking home.

I watched her go not even trying to stop her. The look in her eyes told me she meant what she said and I should probably just leave her alone. I felt like my heart stopped beating for a second. What the hell was wrong with me? I was acting like a tit bag. This wasn’t me. I haven’t felt this way since Emma. My teeth gritted together at just the thought of her. I walked back to my apartment, looking around after I closed the door. It was far from nice. The beige carpet was yellowed and had dark grey stains in it. The kitchen was out dated and the bedroom was small. I had an old frumpy couch and a TV that sat on an old black plastic milk crate. There were some clothes on the floor and some dishes in the sink. My mattress sat on the floor and my clothes were in boxes. I didn’t have much when I got discharged. I spent a few weeks in the hospital from a gunshot to my chest. By the time they released me Emma took everything and was long gone. She took all the money in my checking account and all the furniture we
bought together. I wanted to scream just thinking about it. She left me for a lawyer. Some rich snob guy that she said had “manners”. Little did Emma know that I had a saving account that she didn’t have access to. But I wasn’t ready to touch that money yet. Emma and I never married. I wanted to propose when I got back from deployment. But before I could touch ground on US soil she was already in another mans bed. We had a good three year run though.