Husband Fur Hire (Bears Fur Hire Book 1) (6 page)

Had he caused her tears? Had memories of Cole made her cry like this? The quiet kind where she was trying to hide her heartbreak. Ian made his way silently through the living room and pushed open her door. Illuminated by blue streaks of moonlight that filtered through the window, she lay with her back to him, knees curled up to her chest, her shoulders shaking. He couldn’t stay, but he couldn’t go any farther. Elyse hadn’t asked for his comfort, and he was an intruder on her private moment, but still, he couldn’t force his feet back to his own bedroom.

Trapped, Ian rested his back on the door frame and slid quietly down the wood.

And long after Elyse’s shoulders stopped shaking, he finally, finally fell asleep.

Elyse stretched and squinted at the early morning sunlight that was assaulting the room. She rolled over with the intention of snuggling her pillow for a few more minutes before she forced herself up to start the day, but a giant figure on the floor near her open doorway had a screech clawing its way up her throat. Swallowing it back down, she remembered all the events from yesterday and fidgeted with the gold ring around her finger.

Why on earth was Ian curled up in a giant ball sleeping on the floor?

As quietly as she could manage, she slipped out of bed and made her way into the bathroom, careful not to disturb him. Her reflection in the mirror was atrocious, but after she put her hair in a messy bun, brushed her teeth, and washed her face, she didn’t look as rough. That enormous bowl and a half of stew she’d eaten last night had done her some good, even if her eyes were a little puffy from…crying. Crap. Maybe that’s why Ian was on the floor. Maybe she’d been too loud.

Tugging the hem of her sleep shirt lower, she padded across the cold wooden floorboards and shook his waist gently. “Ian,” she whispered. “Ian.”

“Hmm?” he asked sharply, sitting up so fast he nearly bowled her over. “Shit,” he rasped, catching her arms before she put her tailbone through her throat on the floor. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Elyse lowered down to sit by him and pulled her arms gently from his strong grasp. “Why are you sleeping on the floor?”

Ian blinked hard at her lap, then ran his hand through his hair as he looked blearily around her bedroom. “You were crying.”

Scrunching up her nose, she said, “I was trying to be quiet about it.”

“I have good hearing. Why?”

“Why was I crying?”

“Yeah, why?”

Elyse shook her head, not ready to admit all her demons. He already thought she was pathetic. Best not go proving he was right.

Ian rolled up much more gracefully than she’d expected and offered her his palm, upturned. “Purple panties,” he rumbled low.

Sliding her hand against his, she allowed him to pull her up. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re wearing purple panties.” His gaze dropped to her hips, then back to her face. “When you sat down, I saw them. Just thought we should get that out in the air.”

“Great, anything else?” she asked, mortified.

Ian cleared his throat and nodded once. “I like them. They’re a good color on your skin. And I like the cut. And you smell good. And your hair…it’s…nice. And your eyes.”

“What about them?” She swayed slightly, feeling yet again that she was unbalanced around Ian.

“I like those, too.”

She was fighting a smile now. Damn, sleepy Ian was a flattering little flatterer. “Anything else?”

“Yes.”

“You want to tell me what it is?”

Ian shook his head and stepped around her and into the bathroom. “Your turn,” he said in a sleepy, rumbling voice as he squeezed toothpaste onto his toothbrush.

“Okay. You’re tall and strong, and I like watching your pec muscles move under that undone button of the sweater you wore yesterday, and your eyes are also very nice, and twice I noticed you had a boner, and I was intimidated because it looks huge all pressed up against your jeans, but I like it.” There. Honesty for honesty, but now Ian was staring at her in the mirror as if she’d lost her mind. “What?” she asked with a frown.

“I wasn’t asking you to compliment me, woman. I meant why were you crying?”

“Oh.” God, this was embarrassing. “If you could just wipe that boner comment out of your mind, that would be great.”

“Hell no. That was my favorite part.” Now Ian was smiling behind his toothbrush as he scrubbed, and her cheeks were so hot that she pressed her palms against her face just to cool them down.

“I was crying over Cole,” she blurted out, then slapped her hands over her mouth. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s not right to you.”

Ian’s smile slipped away, and he dragged his bright blue gaze away from hers in the mirror. “You miss him?”

“No. I feel…” God, how did she put this where he would understand? “He told me once I was the only thing that could save him, and I kept him around too long trying to be that for him. He died alone, off in the woods somewhere in some awful way. Bear attack. They aren’t quick, you know.”

Ian’s eyes tightened in the mirror, but whatever argument he’d been about to give, he kept it to himself.

“I feel guilty. I did love him. Once. There. I feel bad that I wasn’t enough. How pathetic, right? The man wasn’t even nice to me, and still, I can’t stop replaying those words in my mind. He was so serious, like he really thought I could make him into a better person. It’s guilt that has me weak, and you don’t deserve the ghost of that man in this house.
Our
house.”

Ian spat toothpaste and rinsed, took his time wiping his face with the hand towel, then turned and leaned back against the sink ledge. “You have nothing to feel guilty for.”

“But he died alone—”

Anger flashed across his eyes. “He died like he was supposed to, Elyse. There was nothing you or anyone else could’ve done to change that man’s ending.”

“But—”

“No.” Ian reached for her and crushed her against his chest, squeezing the air and her argument from her lungs. “Going over it in your head and feeling bad won’t change anything. This isn’t your fault. Listen to me.” He hugged her tighter and lowered his lips near her ear. “His death isn’t on you. That’s just you scratching at a cut and keeping it raw. It won’t heal if you don’t leave it alone. You’re
enough
, Elyse. Cole wasn’t.”

Something changed inside of her. It was instantaneous, breathtaking, and warm. He’d said she was enough. No one had ever said that to her before. Before this moment, she’d been the kid in school who needed improvement. The daughter who couldn’t maintain the relationship she wanted with her mom. The girlfriend who couldn’t hold a man’s attention. The sister Josiah had to pack up his whole life for, just to make sure she was okay. The homesteader who’d steadily failed at carving out a life here. The niece who’d missed the last years of Uncle Jim’s life chasing an empty life of her own.

But here, in Ian’s arms, he was telling her differently with such conviction in his voice. You. Are. Enough. What that combination of simple words did to her middle was incredible. Where she’d shunned compliments before, convinced anything nice said about her couldn’t be true, these words stuck to her ribs. They rattled around in her head and landed right in her heart, and in this instant, she believed him.

To Ian, she was enough.

Slowly, she slid her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his chest, over his pounding heartbeat. It felt so good to be right here with his words warming her from the middle like a good shot of whiskey. His arms were so strong around her, hugging her close as if he didn’t want to let go any more than she did. She’d been freefalling before now, and Ian Silver, a man she had no right to have this strong a connection with, had just reached out and plucked her from the sky.

Exhaling a shaky breath, she clutched the back of his shirt. No more tears for Cole. Ian was perfectly right. Even if she’d let him stay, the truth of the matter was that Cole had gone long before she kicked him out. He was staying with other women and drinking all night in Galena, avoiding domestic life. Avoiding her. How could she be expected to save a man like him? He hadn’t even tried.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her knees going soft as she melted against him farther.

Ian nuzzled her cheek until his beard tickled her skin. “For what?”

“For coming here. For sleeping on my floor because you were worried. For saying I’m enough. For all of it. Everything.”

His heart raced under her cheek as he eased back by inches. His lips were so close to hers now. So close. If she just turned her head…

Ian’s hand slipped to her cheek and around to her neck, cupping her gently as he stayed frozen there. This felt big. So big her hands went cold and damp, and her heart raced to match his. His bright blue gaze was at her mouth. Ian leaned forward and pressed his lips against hers, and Elyse’s legs locked completely. If it wasn’t for one of his arms around her, she would’ve fallen, but Ian was there to catch her. He was good. Right down to his marrow, he was a good man.

He moved his mouth against hers, and an embarrassingly helpless noise escaped her throat.

In the moment that followed, a strange noise came from Ian’s chest. It was short and low, like a hum, but it made his chest vibrate in a strange and exciting way. Oh, sexy growly man. He angled his head more and brushed his tongue against her lips. Elyse opened for him because she could trust him. He was worth being vulnerable for. His tongue stroked against hers in a slow rhythm that had her gripping his shirt even tighter, hugging him even closer. Feeling brave, she pressed her tongue just inside his lips and the hum was back, only louder this time. His erection was thick and hard against her belly, and desire unfurled inside of her. His fingers were tightening around her neck now as he kissed her harder.

How long had they been here, entangled like this. Minutes? Hours? Time lost meaning as he showed her just how tender and how sexy he could be. The man was building a fire inside her, and he was taking his time with it, letting her savor the feeling of his affection. Slowly, he backed her against the wall. Intertwining his fingers with hers, he lifted both of her hands over her head and slowed his kiss again. He altered their pace over and over, slower, faster, softer, harder, making her anticipate when he would let his control slip.

Ian’s mouth moved against hers smoothly, as if he’d kissed her a hundred times and knew what she liked already. Another soft noise came from her—this one relaxed and happy—and Ian gave her three soft pecks, nibbled on her bottom lip, then rested his forehead onto hers. His breathing was deep and slow as he closed his eyes and seemed happy to just be. He lowered their intertwined fingers to her sides, but didn’t let go of her hands. She loved this. Loved everything about this moment. Ian wasn’t pushing for more, or kissing and running. He was giving her affection like she’d never experienced before. Her stomach fluttered with how much she liked standing here, pressed between him and the wall as he squeezed her hands. With a smile, she tilted her chin up and kissed him softly, just a small smack to let him know she’d liked that. The corners of his lips lifted, but when he opened his eyes, they weren’t the blue she remembered. They were darker.

“Your eyes,” she whispered, canting her head and blinking hard. Perhaps it was a trick of the lights. His face was in shadow.

Ian squeezed his eyes tightly closed and shook his head. His hands slid from hers, and he brushed her hip with his fingertips as he leaned forward again. Lips so close they tickled her ear, he said, “I like you.”

And then he left her there, legs splayed and locked, leaning heavily against the wall, wishing it wasn’t over yet.

Ian Silver, her own personal stranger fiancé had just given her the most meaningful kiss she’d ever received.

She brushed her fingers over her swollen lips, staring at the open door he’d disappeared through as she whispered, “I like you, too.”

Elyse had one snow machine that needed parts to work and a four-wheeler that Ian was hard-pressed to figure out why the engine wouldn’t turn over. He muttered a curse and wiped his hands on the oily rag. Glaring at the damned thing, he went over everything that could possibly be keeping the engine dead. He needed to cut wood, but to get the dry stuff, he needed to cast his net wider. And to do that, he definitely needed the four-wheeler.

A soft, pretty sound perked up his ears. Rubbing the dirty cloth absently over his hands, Ian strode from the barn, but froze when he saw Elyse on her knees in the overgrown garden behind the house. Her jeans were covered in dirt, and her hands worked constantly to pluck weeds from the soft ground, but it was her lips that held him captive, heart drumming against his chest.

Elyse was singing.

He stepped back into the shadows beside the barn and watched her. Listened to her. Her voice was beautiful. Not the beautiful, yeah-she-can-hold-a-tune kind, but Elyse had a voice that rivaled any he’d ever heard on the radio stations. Soft and bluesy, perfect pitch, perfect vibrato, tone as clear as a bell. He couldn’t sing for shit, but Elyse…Elyse’s voice was enchanting. A siren’s voice.

Huffing a surprised breath, Ian leaned against the side of the barn. She’d been freed up to work on the weeds that were choking out her garden while he took care of the animals this morning. Perhaps she sang all the time, but a tiny, selfish part of him hoped she was singing as a response to something he’d done. Because he’d made her happy. Because of that kiss they’d shared in the bathroom this morning. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, and he hoped to God she was having the same trouble. And listening to her now with that clear-bell voice that drifted this way and that over the breeze as she worked, he was falling even harder for her.

He gripped his shirt, right over his heart that was aching right now for no damned reason at all. Looking at a woman shouldn’t hurt, but when he tried to look away, the ache deepened. Elyse had done something to him he couldn’t explain. From the moment he’d seen her picture, she had seemed important. It had taken months to get to this place, and now, no matter how much he tried to convince himself he was just here to help a woman in need, with every minute he spent with Elyse, she was feeling more and more like his woman.

And then that kiss…

He’d let his control slip, and she’d noticed. She’d pointed out his eyes. The curse of a shifter was the changing color there. It was proof he was just pretending to be human, and she’d drawn his bear from him with just the touch of her lips. With just the taste of her.

For the first time in his life, Ian was scared of someone. A five-and-a-half-foot tall woman with no meat on her bones, who was singing an old love song and plucking weeds from a garden, was more intimidating than any enforcer order Clayton had given him.

What a pathetic monster he made.

With a frown, he forced himself back around the corner and into the barn. Staring at Elyse all day wasn’t going to make his extensive to-do list any shorter. Taking care of her was instinct now, and one he couldn’t ignore. Ian didn’t want her to just survive the winter while he was sleeping. He wanted her comfortable and well-fed. He wanted her happy. Happy. Yeah, she deserved that after everything. He wouldn’t be here for her in a couple of months, and he needed to get this place up and running, manageable for her even, so she could get her confidence back. Oh, his Elyse was tough, but she’d buckled under the weight of the last couple of years, and she needed to find her strength again. And he was going to show her how strong she could be. She would have to be if she was going to help keep his secret someday.

Keep his secret? Ian shook his head at how much he’d lost his damned mind. She couldn’t ever know he was a bear shifter. Just the thought of her looking at him like he was a freak soured his stomach. She’d looked at him like he was everything earlier when he’d kissed her. Those strange colored eyes of hers had pooled with adoration for him.
Him.
If she found out what he was and what he’d done to Cole, she would hate him.

Forcing his mind onto the task at hand, he spent the next two hours fixing the four-wheeler. And when it was finally running again, he filled it with gas and drove around Elyse’s property to familiarize himself with the acreage and outbuildings. Her land was covered in rolling hills and ancient pines. Even when the winter dumped white over the landscape, there would still be plenty of green thanks to the trees that grew here. The beetle infestation had blown through these parts a few years back, but this place hadn’t been hit too badly. And the dead trees left over from the pine beetles would make good firewood now. The ATV paths were overgrown or non-existent, which meant this four-wheeler had been out of commission for a while, but it was powerful enough to handle the sharp inclines of her land. At the highest peak, he could make out a large, jutting rock in the distance. He stood on the four-wheeler, bent at the waist and arms locked on the handles just to take in the place better. She had a beautiful piece of land, and as he stood here, dragging his gaze over the lush wilderness, he understood how she found magic in this place.

A wooden structure in the distance captured his attention, so he revved the little engine and drove toward it. It was a dilapidated cabin, probably long ago abandoned by some of Elyse’s relatives. And when he drove a nearby trail, it led to a second two-room cabin, the roof of which had collapsed. Ian shook off the urge to eye them as possible den sites for winter. He couldn’t hibernate this close to Elyse. Not with Miller hunting him. Still, it was nice to imagine sleeping so close to her.

When he drove the four-wheeler back down the dirt path near the house, Elyse stepped out of the chicken coop and waved, then shielded the sun from her eyes as she waited. Damn, it felt good to have her here when he came home. Chills blasted up the back of his neck at the thought of that word. Home. Was this place home already? It was strange to think so, but that ring she’d accepted from him said he was a part of this place now. And it was a part of him.

“You said you need to eat a lot,” she called over the roar of the little engine.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Yeah, and I was going to make you lunch, too. What do you want?”

Pleased to the bone she’d been thinking about his constant need for food, he grinned and patted his leg. “I want you up here, woman. Ride with me into the barn, and then I’ll cook you something.”

Her face transformed as her full lips lifted, and she graced him with those straight, white teeth of hers. She approached slowly. “I’m filthy, Ian Silver. Are you sure you want to cuddle me?”

Ian reached for her and tugged her hand until she was standing right beside the ATV. Then he picked her up by the waist and settled her over his lap, hooking her knees around him. Playfully, he nipped her neck as she giggled. God, he loved that sound.

Revving the engine, he said, “Your dirt don’t bother me, Elyse. Hold on.”

Her arms went around his neck as he maneuvered them into the barn. His lips were on her before he even turned the four-wheeler off. He’d been thinking about doing this all day since she’d let him get so close to her this morning. Only this time, she wasn’t letting him lead. The minx bit his bottom lip, hard, and rocked against his erection. Reckless, he gripped the back of her hair and pulled her head back, exposing her neck. He trailed biting kisses down her skin. Fuck, he wanted her. Wanted to be inside of her, claiming her, but he had to take it slow with Elyse. Cole had hurt her, and she was still crying over him. Ian didn’t want to bed her too soon. Elyse needed more time to be ready for all the emotional weight that would come with them sleeping together.

And sure as rain, if Ian slept with Elyse, it wouldn’t be fucking. It would be loving, and the difference was almost as terrifying as the woman in his arms.

Elyse slipped her hands under the hem of his shirt and ran a smooth touch up his stomach. His abs clenched under her palms as he trailed his kisses to the base of her throat. He pulled her tighter against his erection, so the next time she rocked those sexy little hips of hers, she caught his length and, holy hell, she felt good against him.

When he kissed her lips again, Elyse gave off a pained noise, and instantly, Ian released her hair from his grip. “Did I hurt you?” Dammit, of course he had. He was being too rough. She was human and fragile, and he didn’t know his own strength.

“No.” She touched her chin gingerly. “Yes. I’m not used to kissing a man with a beard.”

“Oh,” he murmured. “Here, let me see.” He pushed her hand gently away and lifted her face in the muted barn light. She was looking red and a little raw, and he felt like grit. He should’ve shaved. With a sigh, he kissed her neck softly, then lifted her off and settled her on her feet. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

“Are you mad?” she asked, sounding confused as she stood her ground.

Ian held out his hand and shook his head. “Not at all. I feel bad for hurting you. We’ll give it a rest, okay?”

Elyse’s face fell as she slipped her palm against Ian’s. “I don’t know if I want that.”

Ian chuckled and pulled her along beside him. “You like kissing me then?”

Bumping his shoulder, she said, “You know I do. Don’t be that guy.”

“What guy?”

“The guy who knows he’s hot but still fishes for compliments.”

“So you think I’m hot?” he asked through a grin.

Elyse laughed and shoved his shoulder. Before she could retreat, he picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, then slapped her ass as she peeled into a fit of giggles.

“Brute. You put me down, or I’ll—”

“You’ll what?”

“I’ll never kiss you again.”

Ian loved that challenge, so he settled her upright and gripped her shoulders, staring intently into her eyes until her breath went all shallow and ragged. Then he leaned forward and angled his face, but at the last moment, froze mere millimeters away from her lips. He brushed her hair from her face and cupped her cheek. “Never?”

She let off a sexy, helpless noise, then blinked hard and shoved away from him. “Tease.”

“I heard you singing,” he said low as he followed her in the house.

There was a smile in her voice when she said, “I used to sing all the time.”

“What stopped you?”

“Life.”

“And now?”

She tossed him a coy look over her shoulder and headed straight for the kitchen. “Now I’m going to make lunch.”

Hmm, who was the tease now?

Lunch was sandwiches—one for her and four for Ian. And when they were done, he told her to, “Go get dressed for town.”

“Why?” she asked, her eyes sparking with curiosity and something more. Excitement. Town must be a rare treat for her.

“We need to get you a hunter and trapper’s license.”

“Oh.” Her face fell in disappointment, and she took their plates to the sink.

“What was that look for?”

“I don’t trap.”

Ian narrowed his eyes and stood behind her as she scrubbed their dishes. Her honey-colored hair was soft against his fingertips as he moved it out of the way to expose the length of her pretty neck. Showing the neck was a sign of submission, and even if she didn’t know what he was, he liked when she let him see it. She’d called him a brute once. Elyse had been right.

“You’ll learn to trap so if you get in a bind this winter, you can go out there with confidence and bring something home. And if you need money or supplies from town, you’ll be able to barter with the fur. Now what were you really going to say?”

Her neck flushed, white as porcelain to a soft pink. “Nothing.”

“Tell me.”

“I thought you were going to take me into town to…you know…spend time with me.”

“We are spending time.”

Elyse let off a human growl that was about as intimidating as a kitten hissing. “I thought you were asking me to go to town for a date.”

Ian dropped his hand from her hair and took a step back, shocked. “A date?”

Elyse sighed and put the dishes away. “You asked, and from your tone, dating isn’t for you. I really do get it.”
Cole was the same
.

He could almost hear that last part, though she didn’t say it out loud. He felt bear-slapped, so instead of saying something intelligent like, “Sure I’ll take you on a date. We’re engaged anyway, so what’s the big deal?” he stood there like a lump on a log and watched her disappear into her room. The sound of rustling fabric sounded a minute later, as though she was getting dressed, so Ian headed into his own room and cleaned up. He could seduce a woman, and he could make one happy in bed, but outside of the bedroom, he felt like an off-balance bull driven through quicksand. Words had never been his gig, and he messed up a lot with Elyse. She seemed frustrated, but if she knew the animal she’d managed to tame in no time flat, she would probably be easier on him.

Cole had laid out a long path of disappointment for this woman. But unlike Cole, Ian would keep trying, because Elyse—
his
Elyse—deserved the effort.