i 75f9a7096d34cea0 (38 page)

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He closed the door and for a moment lay with his back against it and his eyes closed. Then he looked towards the chair where Janie's coat and hat had lain. Swiftly now, he went into the kitchen. It was empty. And when he reached the barn it too was empty. With his fist he beat his forehead: if ever there was an idiot in this world it was he, a thoughtlessly blind one. He had for years been worshipping that empty-headed slut, the while failing to recognise the worth of such a girl ... a woman as Janie.

8

How long he sat in the drawing-room, his body bent forward as he stared into the fire, he didn't know, but his mind was going over and over the scene that had been enacted in this room a short while earlier and what it had revealed to him. And what he was dwelling on, much more than Frances's duplicity, was the fact that it had taken her bitter tongue to open the door and reveal fully something that he had only probed at in the recesses of his mind. And the truth was that it wasn't just friendship he felt for Janie, but love; yet not the kind of love he had wasted his youth on, the kind of love that had made him older than his years. It hadn't been so much the weight of the farm, nor the responsibility of the family, but the tearing madness that a beautiful face had created in him, and which had so fascinated him that he couldn't see the true character that lay beyond the beauty. And all the time there had been Janie standing aside, watching, and waiting in vain, as she must have felt right up till this very day ... right up to an hour ago, when she must have visualised his being

seduced by Frances's charm. 503

What an idiot! He rose to his feet. Talk about a village bumpkin who couldn't see further than his nose!

He was that and more. And just think that if the recent scene had taken place next Monday, say, when Janie was in Holland ... well, that would have been that, because once she had given her word to another man she wouldn't have broken it, not for him or for anyone else.

Why was he standing here talking to himself? Get the trap out, man!

He dashed from the room, but as he was crossing the hall he paused, ran to the front door, shot the bolts; then he was actually in the kitchen when he realised he wasn't wearing a hat, so he dashed back and up the stairs, grabbed his best hat from the cupboard and also an overcoat. Then, rushing through the back doorway he stopped again to take the big key from the inside and to lock the door from the outside; then to ask himself why he was bothering with such trifles; hat, coat, locks and bolts.

Minutes later, seated in the trap, he gazed about him. He was surrounded by fine, sturdy stone buildings, by stables, tack and workshops. The yard

itself was dry today, the mud ridges flattened by the animals' feet and the wheels of the carts. And his thoughts escaped for a moment from the emotion that was filling his mind, and he thought, It could be slabbed and the drains run into the middle. Then as he was about to say, `Gee up! there,ànother thought hit him, an immediate one this time: he likely wouldn't be back until it was dark; he'd better put the lamps on the front of the trap.

Down again he jumped, dashed into the tack room, brought out two long shanked lamps, stuck them in the sockets each side of the trap, jumped up again, then shouted, `Get up! there,ànd the horse broke into a sharp trot.

Janie's home lay to the west side of Fellburn, about half a mile from the town itself, but a good five miles from where he was at the moment. It would take him forty minutes at least. What if she was out? What if she hadn't gone straight home? What if she wouldn't see him?

Well, he would demand to see her. Yes, he would. And Mr and Mrs Farringdon were a nice couple; they would persuade her, they would ...

For God's sake! man, stop yapping at yourself!

But she had seen Frances, and she could 505 have heard him laugh.

Well, on seeing him, wouldn't she realise that Frances was no more? Oh, he didn't know. And she had a pride about her. Yet ... yet she had humbled herself for years. God! when he thought about it now. Well, he'd have plenty of time to think about it in the future if for some reason or other she said she'd had enough. And women were queer cattle, as old Barney had said many a time. He'd said he took his pattern from the cows: one that he had milked for years kicked him in the backside one morning and sent him flying and wouldn't have him near her. He said she had gone wrong in the head, like women did at a critical time in their lives.

What on earth was he on about? `Gee up! there. Gee up!`

He arrived at the Farringdon residence later than he had hoped, and as he drove into the yard he saw Robert and Hal. They were making towards the stable, and they stopped. And when, to his cheery,

`Hello, there!` they made no response, he got down from the trap and rather tentatively now he asked, Ìs ... is Janie in?`

Ì'd like to have a word with you, Daniel.Ìt was Robert speaking. `Tie him up there,` he said, indicating the iron post. Slightly disturbed now, Daniel did as he was directed, then followed them into the harness room. There they both faced him, and Robert said, Ì might ask you the reason for this visit.`

Ì ... I've come to see Janie.`

`Yes? And what do you want to see her about?`

Daniel now reared slightly against Robert's hostile manner and the antagonism emanating from the two brothers, and he said stiffly, Ì think that's my business.`

Ìt's ours an' all,` Hal rapped out the words. `You've played hot and cold with her for long enough.

You've used her as a comforter, and now likely you've come to tell her that your dear Frances, that empty-headed little bitch, has come back into your fold. Well, let me tell you something ...` he said, digging his forefinger into Daniel's shoulder, only for Daniel, instinctively, to thrust him backwards, so causing him to fall against the wall. And at this Robert cried, `Now look here! Don't start any of that.` 507

`Don't start!` said Daniel now, his temper flaring. `Who started this? You ... you two, by not minding your own bloody business!`

`She is our business. And I can tell you for nothing,` said Robert, Ì've wanted to knock your bloody head off long before this. You've had her trailing across there in all weathers, stripping her of her pride; and at bottom she's a proud girl. And what's more, let me tell you, she could have been married two years ago. There's a fellow in Holland just waiting for her word, and she's going over on Monday and she'll give it. So, if you've come to say that you know she'll be happy that you're getting back with that little trollop, you can forget about it, because you're not going to see her.`

Ì damn well am going to see her! And you're not going to stop me, nor is anybody else. Now keep your distance, for I'll not only knock your heads together, I'll lay you out. I don't want to do that, for it'll be a bad start, but you lay your hands on me, either of you, and I will. Now, I'm warning you.Às he stepped back towards the door it was pushed open and a voice said, Òh! there you are. Oh, hello, Daniel. Have you just arrived?`

Robert and Hal Farringdon looked at their father, and Daniel, too, looked at Mr Farringdon, and Daniel was the first to recover. `Yes, sir,` he said; Ì've just popped over to see Janie.`

Òh ...Ìt was rather a long-drawn-out word, and Mr Farringdon looked from one to the other of his sons; then, turning to Daniel, he said, `Well, you won't find her in the tack room. And by the way, boys`--he turned again to his sons--`Mother's awaiting tea. You know what time it is; where were you off to?`

Òh, well ... er, we ... we were really going over to see Daniel but ... then he just popped in.Àgain Mr Farringdon let out a long-drawn Ò ... h` then added briskly, `Well, he's saved you a journey.

Come on, all of you. Janie's upstairs but Mother's in the drawing-room.`

Daniel cast a backward glance at the two young men before he turned and followed their father; and then they followed him.

In the hall, a maid was passing and 509 Mr Farringdon said, `Go upstairs, Phyllis, and tell Miss Janie that she has a visitor, and that he's in the small sitting-room. Oh, and by the way, take another cup into your mistress; there'll be an extra one for tea.`

`Yes, sir.`

Ànd you twò--he turned to his sons-- `go and repeat that message to your mother. She'll be very pleased; she always likes a tea party. And ... and Daniel, will you come this way?`

Daniel followed Mr Farringdon across the hall and down a short corridor and into a small room, where the older man, pointing to an easy chair, said, `Make yourself comfortable, Daniel, until she comes down.Ànd then, his voice changing, he said, Ìn a way, I'm very pleased to see you today, but I hope you haven't come to hurt my daughter further. I've always had a great respect for you, but if I was to speak the truth, I think that you have been blind with regard to her, besides being a little callous. Now, she'll be here presently, but if you have anything to say that might distress her further, I would rather you tell me, and

leave now. I am very, very fond of my daughter. I like my sons and I respect them, but I love my daughter and never in her life have I seen her cry as she did a short while ago.`

Daniel's head was bowed and his voice was thick as he said, Ì'm sorry, sir, to the heart of me. I've been a blind fool, an idiot. I ... I somehow couldn't have explained my feelings for her until today, when Frances came and, I ... I might as well tell you, offered herself to me again. It was then I knew that the feeling I had for Frances had been an adolescent craving, one which the man in me now recognises as merely that. But the feeling I have for Janie is love. But when I went to tell her so, she was gone.`

`Well, I'm glad to hear this, Daniel, very, very glad, for I've never seen that girl in such a state. All I could get out of her was, "They were laughing."`

`What?`

`Well, that's all she kept saying, "They were laughing."`

`Not Frances, sir, no. She was in a rage. It was me. I was laughing. I was laughing at her offer. I know it was an awful thing to do because

... because she was degrading herself, but I was 511 seeing her as she really was, and ... and, oh, dear, dear, what a mess! I'm so sorry. But I can promise you one thing, Mr Farringdon: that I'll not live long enough to make it up to Janie for my seeming stupidity.À relieved smile showed on Mr Farringdon's face, and he laid a hand on Daniel's shoulder as he said,

`Well, there's one thing sure, you'll be welcomed into this family.` Then his smile broadening, he added, Ì'm glad you didn't go for my sons, because I think they may have got the worse of it. Now make yourself comfortable; she won't be long.Ànd on this, Mr Farringdon left the room.

Daniel decided not to sit down. He was tense from his toes to the roots of his hair. When he had set out from home it had all seemed so straightforward. He would tell her what a fool he had been and that he loved her. He had not realised he'd have her family to contend with. Oh yes, they were right. Putting himself in her brothers' place, he would have done the same, he supposed.

It was a comfortable room. After standing still for some time, he began to pace up and down. He looked at the clock on the mantelpiece. It was three minutes since Mr Farringdon had left the room. When five minutes had gone, he sat down. When seven minutes had passed, he stood up again. After ten minutes he began to pace the floor again; then the door opened and there she was.

She didn't speak but walked slowly towards him, stopping within an arm's length of him.

And gazing at her he saw that her eyes were red-rimmed and that her face was straight, no anticipation showing for what he might have to say. And at this moment he could find no words to say; all he wanted to do was to put his arms about her and draw her close. But her expression forbade that.

She was looking him straight in the eyes, and when she spoke her voice was even, as if she was asking an ordinary question. Àre you sure, Daniel?`

Òh, Janie. Janie. I must have been sure in my mind for such a long time but I didn't realise it. She ... she had to come to open my eyes and get through my stupid thick head. Yet, all the signs were there long before that, as for weeks, for months now, the feeling of warmth when I saw you, the feeling of loss when you left

the house, lying awake at nights 513 worrying about you going to Holland: they were all there. All the signs were there, telling me what I hadn't the sense to open my eyes to see, that ... that it wasn't just friendship, it was love. I love you, Janie. And I now realise that I have loved you for a long time. When she had gone, when they had gone, because Ray came for her, I went looking for you. You'll never know the emptiness of that kitchen and that yard when I saw you had gone; and the terror that rose in me when I realised that I may have lost you for good! I love you, Janie, and want you so much; but other than that love, I have very little to offer, except hard work for years ahead.`

He watched her lids close and the tears press from beneath them, and he beseeched her, Òh, don't, don't, Janie, don't cry. For God's sake, don't cry.`

`Daniel. Daniel.` Slowly her body fell against his, and when his arms went about her, they were gentle, just holding her as if she were fragile and could easily break. And when her head lifted to his and he laid his mouth on hers, the kiss was soft and tender, just as were her lips. Then her head was resting on his shoulder as if from exhaustion; and

after a moment, he said, `We must be married soon, Janie, soon.Ànd when he felt her nod, he asked,

`How soon?`

When she now lifted her face to his she was smiling, the old warm smile, and she answered him,

`Tomorrow.Ànd at this, his arms hugged her tightly to him and they laughed quietly together, and she was the old Janie again; yet at the same time not the old Janie but a new Janie, his Janie. And characteristically now, she said, Òn one condition ...`

Their faces were close again, and her voice was low as she said, Ì want the choice of where we should spend our ... our honeymoon.`

The statement surprised him a little, and he said, `Yes ... well, anywhere.`

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