I Got This (19 page)

“
J
ennifer! Over here!”

“Jennifer, can we get a photo?”

“Jennifer, whose dress are you wearing tonight?”

“Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer…”

Walking the red carpet has taken on a whole new dimension these days. I get to stand next to the skinny supermodel talking about what I am wearing, about my eyelashes, earrings, and even the color of my toenail polish! Years ago, the only thing anyone wanted to talk about was if I felt insecure as a big girl in Hollywood. And now all they want to focus on is how great I look. Any way you slice it, the emphasis is still about my physical appearance instead of my talent. Does it frustrate me? Sure, but I also know it is part of the game we all play, especially in the looks-obsessed
world of Hollywood. Just once I wish someone would make it about being healthy instead of being thin. I’ve always been comfortable with my size, but I haven’t always felt healthy like I do now.

Well, allowing myself to be overweight and unhealthy is a habit I’ve gladly left in my past—I’ve got more energy, stamina, and drive than I’ve ever had. When I am singing “Feeling Good” in my Weight Watchers commercials, that’s for real. They couldn’t have picked a better song to describe where I am on the journey. And if I can do it, anyone can.

And when I say anyone…I mean
anyone.

I
was asked to sing at a very small and intimate holiday gathering at the home of Carole Bayer Sager in late 2010. She has collaborated with everyone from Burt Bacharach to Neil Diamond, Marvin Hamlisch, Michael Jackson, Quincy Jones, Michael McDonald, James Ingram, Donald Fagen, Babyface, and even Clint Eastwood. I was a surprise performer that evening in a room full of billionaires, including Barbra Streisand, David Foster, Diane Warren, and
American Idol
executive producer Nigel Lythgoe. Although it wasn’t planned that way, it felt as if everyone there had something to do with my career. I had to kill it with the two songs I was there to sing or there could have been disastrous results.

Earlier in the day, producer and composer David Foster had invited me to his beautiful home in Malibu to work on the
arrangements for my performance. We spent a couple of hours together and came up with something absolutely amazing. Because of David, I went into the evening with enough confidence to get me through what could have been the most intimidating and terrifying performance of my career.

Before my show began, I was seated next to Barbra Streisand for dinner. I was nervous to sit next to her because she is such a powerful influence on my singing, of course. I had met Barbra earlier in the year at a pre-Grammy party that Clive Davis hosted. Ever since I signed with Clive, he has asked me to perform at the parties he gives. Clive’s gatherings are events more than they are parties. He always makes me feel so special by including me in the evening. For this particular pre-Grammy show, Clive asked me to sing two Barbra Streisand songs: “People” and “The Way We Were.”

“And Jennifer,” he said, “Barbra is going to be there.”

Now hold up.

He was asking me to sing two of Barbra Streisand’s biggest songs…for Barbra Streisand? I knew that both songs were challenging for even the best singers, so I was terrified. To make matters worse, he gave me this task with less than seventy-two hours to prepare. But when Clive asks, you don’t question, you just do it. I had no choice but to do what I always do—rise to the challenge and learn those songs cold.

So when I sat next to Barbra the night of Carole’s Christmas party, I was hoping she had liked the pre-Grammy performance.
Things could have gotten pretty awkward if she didn’t. From the moment I sat down, Barbra and I began chatting like we were long-lost best friends. She said she was fascinated by my experiences with Weight Watchers and asked me to tell her all about it.

Seriously.

I began talking with such ease as I told her how simple the plan is.

“I don’t think I could ever do that because I need to have my pasta,” she said.

I just smiled because that’s how I felt, too, before I started Weight Watchers.

“You can eat pasta. You can eat anything you want as long as you stay within your Points,” I responded back.

In that moment, we were just two girls talking about weight. I have no idea if she ever gave the program a try, but I know I did my best to lead her toward that choice.

Barbra and I were still talking when Carole came by the table to ask me if I minded that Babyface sang first.

“He said he doesn’t want to follow Jennifer Hudson…”

We both laughed and I happily obliged her request. Babyface was amazing and would have been just as good whether he followed me or not that night. And then it was my turn to sing. As I did my rendition of “O Holy Night,” I looked into the small crowd and felt like I was singing in a dream. I was thrilled to be there but extremely relieved when I was done so I could relax and enjoy the rest of the night.

Toward the end of the evening, Nigel Lythgoe came over to say hello. Nigel hadn’t seen me since I lost my weight. His jaw was on the floor as I stood in front of him looking like a brand-new woman.

“I had no idea…,” he kept saying over and over to me as he shook his head in total disbelief.

I wanted to say, “I could have always changed this.” But in that moment, we both acknowledged that my weight was no longer an issue.

So many people miss out on true talent because they can’t get past a look. At the end of the day, losing weight was easy, but finding talent? Now that’s hard. I didn’t say what I wanted to that night, but I think Nigel knew exactly what I was thinking. I just smiled and said good night.

As the old saying goes,
success is the best revenge.

It’s not that I really had a need to get revenge on anyone—I just wanted to be a breakout example of how no one should be judged on or limited by their looks. Appearance can always be changed, but the talent stays the same. I don’t regret all of the things I missed out on by not being given certain opportunities, because my path has led me to who I am today. And for all of that, I am made extremely proud and grateful by the people I meet on the street, in elevators, on airplanes, and everywhere else I go, who tell me that I have inspired them to make a change in their lives. There is nothing that gives me a greater sense of fulfillment than knowing that how I am living my life has a positive impact on so
many others. Being a role model comes with a great responsibility, but one I will gladly take on if it means getting other people to the same place that I am. And inspiring others is where I find my inspiration to carry on this lifelong and life-changing important message of health. That is the greatest reward.

In February 2011, I received a call to appear on the final season of
The Oprah Winfrey Show.
I had been a guest several times before, but this visit would be the most poignant because it would be my last as Oprah’s show was ending. My schedule was as busy as it had ever been. I don’t drink, smoke, take drugs, or party. Working is my vice. I have a tendency to spread myself a little thin because I hate to say no, especially to someone like Oprah.

When her staff called to book the show, I had already committed to an event in Dallas for Jerry Jones, the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, which Jamie Foxx had called and asked me to do as a personal favor to him. Although there had been some talk about a blizzard in Chicago that week, I thought I could fly to Dallas, do the show, and make it back with enough time to do Oprah’s taping the following day. The snowstorm, dubbed by the press as “the blizzard of the century” came and went two days before I flew to Dallas. By all standards, I thought it was a safe bet to go.

I went to Oprah’s studio for a rehearsal and sound check on Thursday morning. As soon as I was done, I caught a private plane to Texas, where I was met by a helicopter that was waiting to whisk me off to the venue. Everything was falling perfectly into place.

I did the show, thinking it was all good—that is until I saw my tour manager giving me the signal to wrap things up early. He was mouthing the words, “It’s snowing.”

Snowing?

In Chicago?

No…

In Texas!

That hadn’t happened for years.

The weather had gotten so bad that the private plane I had flown in on would not be able to take off. We sat on the plane for an hour before the pilot came out of the cockpit to break the news to us. Apparently, we would not be going anywhere that night. I wanted to tell the pilot to just fly the damn plane, but I remembered something my mama used to say: “Without your life, you can’t do anything.” And she was right.

Oprah would understand—right?
Right?
I was trying to convince myself of that for the rest of the night. I was supposed to be back in Chicago by 5
A.M.
Friday morning and I was still sitting in Texas trying to figure out how to make that happen.

“Can we take a train?” I asked. But there were none that would get me there on time.

“How about driving to the next city where it isn’t snowing so I can catch a flight back from there?” I was getting desperate.

One thing was for sure. We couldn’t just sit there waiting for it to stop snowing.

Finally, my tour manager found a commercial flight from Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport that was taking off within the hour, but we still had to drive through the snowstorm to get there if we were going to make it.

Somehow, we were able to get to the airport with enough time to go through security and board the flight. The only seats they had left were the last row in coach. I didn’t care. They could have put me in the baggage hold if it meant getting back in time to do the show. As luck would have it, I was on the cover of the in-flight magazine that month, so as I made my way to the back of the plane, I could see every single person look at their copy of the magazine, then look at me and say, “It’s her.”

“Yup. It’s me all right. How ya doin’?” I was trying my best to find the humor in the situation. I was fine, too, until I heard the pilot announce that this flight was going to be delayed.

Unfortunately, the lines of communication kept getting mixed up. Oprah’s producers were being given different stories about why I was late. So Oprah was hearing a whole bunch of different things from her team. I have found that you get a lot further saying things the way they are instead of trying to hide the facts. Eventually, the truth comes out, so what’s the point of trying to cover it up? I had been adamant about being honest with Oprah’s team. “You will not lie to Oprah!” I was very clear in my intention.

These types of situations get frustrating because issues get created that could have otherwise been avoided. If her producers knew
the reality of our situation, I am sure they would have done whatever they could to work around it.

We finally arrived in Chicago late Friday morning, which meant we were already delayed several hours for the taping. My manager arranged to have my hair and makeup people waiting in a car at the airport so I would be camera-ready when we got to Oprah’s studio. They did the best they could given the bumps and turns along the way.

When we arrived at the studio, I rushed to my dressing room to finish getting ready. About fifteen minutes later, I looked in the mirror to find Mama O standing behind me.

I swear, you could hear ominous soap opera music in my head, like something dramatic and bad was about to happen.

“Umm, what happened?” she rightfully and respectfully asked.

I told her the truth. I explained that I had been to Dallas to do a show for Jamie Foxx and Jerry Jones. I thought we would make it back in plenty of time until it started to snow in Texas. Oprah was incredibly kind and understanding. She said she knew something had to be wrong because I had never missed a commitment and I am almost always on time. She told me that all I had to do was let her team know what was really happening so they could make arrangements on their end. She was upset with my team for not being candid. I completely understood and respected where she was coming from.

“Jennifer, you have all the power you need, but it is up to you
to decide what you’re going to do with it.” She spoke to me like a loving and caring mother.

I listened to what she was saying very closely because I knew she was talking from experience. I learned a valuable lesson that day, and I told her so.

Oprah was right. You see, we
all
have the power to choose how we are going to handle every situation we are faced with throughout our lives. We are in control of the decision we make whether it’s about work, relationships, parenting, or our health.

No matter what I have done in my life, whether singing, acting, or becoming a role model for taking control of my health and well-being, it all comes from an extremely authentic place. I wrote this book because I want you to have a sense of who I am, where I’ve come from, and what I’ve been through so you know my journey has been totally real.

God blessed me in so many ways, but I don’t think my true calling was to be famous or to make a lot of money. I feel like God put me on this path to be a positive influence by helping others find their true selves. If I can’t make a difference in someone’s day, then all of my fame means nothing because if I am not serving God’s purpose, then all of this will have been in vain. Our culture is obsessed with three things—fame, fortune, and appearance. I dreamed about being famous, about making my dreams come true, and about being thin. I’ve been on both sides of all of those things.
I’ve struggled. I’ve been an unknown trying to make it. I’ve been overweight. I could easily live without the fame and the fortune—but the one thing I could never give up is how healthy I feel now that I’ve lost what was weighing me down.

The most important things to me on this earth are God, my family, and last but certainly not least, my health. I can’t really imagine living without any of them. There have been many times throughout my life when both my faith and will have been tested. That’s just life. I’ve always been able to push on and persevere when even the darkest of clouds hung over my head. God gave us free will, which means we all have the option to make the right choices in our lives. I’ve never cared whether the majority of people agree with what I believe because if I don’t believe in something, I can’t get behind it. But if I do, you can be sure that it’s the real deal.