Icefall (17 page)

Cool dimness, dark water, loneliness; the weight of water around him, but abruptly it was no weight at all. The sea lifted him up, enfolding him. His hair drifted, tugged by the current of her speed, and he smelt tendrils of blood from a wounded thing in the water. Hunger nipped at his stomach.

When he opened his eyes, Rory was briefly astonished that he was still on dry land. Hooves thudded into soft ground, a flying mane tickled his face, and then the filly was bouncing to a stop, whinnying softly, her brow almost right against Seth's. The kelpie and his father stared into one another's eyes from no distance at all. She tilted her head, gave Seth's shoulder a swift nip, then swung hard, shunting him with her haunches to make him stumble.

‘Okay,' said Seth at last, his balance and dignity recovered. He eyed Rory and the horse together. ‘That was different.'

Grinning, Rory slid from the filly's back, keeping a hand on her wither. ‘I dunno. Why you'd spend years putting the fear of the gods into me about this, I just don't—'

‘Shut up, Laochan,' sighed Seth. ‘Just shut up.'

‘'Kay.' He smothered another huge smile.

‘Nicely done,' added his father gruffly. ‘Nicely and boringly done.'

‘Jealous much?'

‘Yep.' Seth raised his eyebrows as he walked back to Gocaman's mare and slapped her muscled neck. ‘But I still maintain I had more fun.'

‘I'm fine without that kind of fun.' Rory's smile died and his gut went cold. ‘Dad.'

‘What?'

‘Dad, just to your left. There's something in that thicket. There.'

Seth shoved the white mare's shoulders and she sidestepped cooperatively. As he moved forward, he drew in a breath. Beneath her powerful legs, half smothered in overgrown whin, lay Gocaman, glasses smashed and askew across his face. A curved blade jutted from between his ribs, close to his sternum.

Seth crouched to work it loose, then turned it in his fingers. A trickle of blood oozed from the half-clotted wound.

‘Shit,' he said, and sprang to his feet, raising his sword.

‘And here was me,' murmured a drybone voice from the shadows, ‘only trying to be helpful.'

‘Get out here,' said Seth.

‘Oh, I don't think so.'

‘Look, you've lost your element of surprise, so—'

‘Who said I wanted to surprise you? That horse was on your boy's wishlist!'

Seth narrowed his eyes. ‘Stop mucking about.'

‘A poor motherless foal! Lonely! All I had to do was bait the mare. The mare baited the other one. It was your son's idea!'

Rory swallowed, remembering his crude plan four years ago for catching the kelpie. ‘How would you know?'

‘Oh, give me a
break
. You're not the only telepath in the world, sweetie.'

‘Gocaman's kelpie wouldn't follow you,' said Rory. ‘She wouldn't.'

It popped its head briefly through the bushes, wrinkling a glabrous eyebrow before withdrawing again. ‘Well, quite. Have you any idea what it took to make him call it?'

Rory looked down at Gocaman's corpse, his stomach churning.

‘Why don't you just get out here in the open,' gritted Seth, ‘so that I can put this blade where it belongs?'

‘Look,' said the Lammyr, ‘much as I'd like to chat, it isn't the moment. It's Laochan's eighteenth birthday soon, isn't it? I'll give you a while to appreciate your pressie.'

‘Don't even think about—'

The thing's movement was so swift it was a blur. Off to the left something pale flashed between the pine trunks. Seth was after it but he was already too late; a sleek shape leaped for the watergate and plunged headfirst, leaving barely a ripple. The last Rory saw of it was its webbed toes, stuck back above the surface to wiggle a goodbye.

‘God
dammit.
' Seth skidded to a staggering halt in the mud before his feet could touch the water's surface.

Rory couldn't even care about the Lammyr's escape. He looked down again at the shape of the dead Watcher in the weeds. ‘What about Gocaman? What are we going to do?'

Trudging back from the water, Seth sighed and crouched at Gocaman's side. Hesitantly he nudged the broken spectacles with a fingertip; then, when they slipped even further the other way, removed them altogether. One arm hitched over his filly's neck, Rory watched as his father pressed his fingers against Gocaman's eyelids, holding them tight till they stayed shut. One eye was missing, but he did his best to close it anyway.

‘He was older than anyone I ever knew,' said Seth bleakly. ‘I think he was older than Kate.'

Rory said nothing. Seth turned the glasses in his hands, squished the crinkled sellotape till it held the two lenses together more firmly, then fitted them back over Gocaman's broken nose.

‘His horse,' began Rory, paling. ‘Will his horse eat—'

‘No. But something will.' Seth got to his feet, dusting his hands mechanically. ‘And I'm damn sure he wouldn't want us to call the funeral directors. You'll have to leave that filly anyway, sunshine; she'll be there when you need her.'

Rory had known that, of course, but he couldn't repress the stab of disappointment. And maybe he was just full-mortal enough to feel a little queasy. ‘I hope she doesn't—'

‘Why?' Seth turned abruptly to him, and Rory started at the coldness in his face.

Shivering, he blinked. ‘Because…'

His father looked from him to Gocaman, and back again. Rory narrowed his eyes, searching Seth's for a trace of that grief he'd seen a moment ago. Nothing, there was nothing, and Rory was suddenly afraid to protest any more.

Seth shrugged, sheathing his sword. ‘Your filly's had a busy night; she must be hungry. And she seems to have a rapport with that animal of Gocaman's, so it won't stop her. It's quiet enough here. No-one comes.' He turned and climbed back up the slope, and he didn't look back once. ‘Let's leave them to it, shall we?'

 

Hannah

‘I mean, the mood swing on him.' Rory sat fiddling with the Xbox controller, but he wasn't focusing at all. He'd died twice in the last ninety seconds, which wasn't like him. ‘One minute he's as high as the stratosphere, and then we find Gocaman; and fair enough, he's shocked, he's upset, I could understand
that.
But then it was like somebody threw a switch. Like he couldn't give a rat's arse about Gocaman or anything else. Seriously, Hannah, you should have seen him. Dead behind the eyes.'

As soon as the words were out of his mouth he clamped it shut. He must have realised what he'd said. He didn't move, and his fingers were motionless on the controller, and his avatar exploded in a cloud of virtual blood.

Tearing my eyes away from poor, long-suffering, virtual Rory, I studied the real one. I didn't know what to say, so I just said, ‘You imagined it. Seth's fine this morning. Dead behind the eyes he is not. Not when he gave me an earful about finishing the Frosties, anyway.'

‘I didn't imagine it.'

Outside, clearly audible beyond the open window, we could hear the hoots and yells of a bunch of faeries messing about with cars and soapsuds. I stood up and leaned out, shaking my head. ‘He's out there now, Laochan, and he's fine. Just stuck Jed's head in a bucket.'

Rory came to my side. ‘Yeah…'

I nudged him cheerfully. ‘We should go down and help. I love carwash day.'

‘Not you,' said a voice behind me. ‘But Rory should go.'

I turned to face Finn, my heart sinking. She wore a sympathetic but deadly serious expression, and I didn't like it. Nor did I much like the woman hanging back behind her, but there wasn't much I could do about her.

‘Hi Finn,' I said, and then, ‘Mother.'

Aileen wriggled uncomfortably under my stare, so I made one useless dash for the door. A dignified stride, anyway; if I'd dashed I might have made it. As it was, Finn stepped to the side and blocked my way.

‘Rory,' she said, not taking her eyes or her solemn tight smile off me, ‘Your father needs some help with the cars.'

‘My father is arsing about with his mates,' said Rory, ‘but I can take a hint.' He glanced at me. ‘Hannah? Are you okay?'

‘Fine,' I muttered. ‘Go ahead. I'll catch up with you in a minute.'

‘Bit more than a minute,' said Finn. ‘Get out of here, Rory.'

*   *   *

From the window I watched Seth and Jed and Rory and Iolaire sort-of washing the cars. They were swearing now and laughing, flinging water and turning hoses on one another. Grian, Sorcha, and Sulaire came round the corner, shouted with glee, and joined in. Nice to see Seth fooling around. Rory had to be imagining the other stuff.

Jed was already soaked to the skin and the others were getting there; as I watched he grabbed Rory and manhandled his face into the bucket of sudsy water. Rory flung his head back with a gasp and a silver shower of spray, and then he was half-choking with laughter as he chased his brother down with a sodden sponge.

The window was shut and the racket was muted, and I felt horribly detached. They were on the other side of another Veil. I wanted to be out there in a water fight with my best friends, my cousin, my uncle, and my surrogate uncles. Instead I was stuck in the shabby upstairs sitting room, my heart in some sort of cryogenic suspension. Cold as hell.

Finn perched on the sofa, tense and on edge, but that was her default setting these days. Opposite her, hands on her knees, sat my mother. The silence was leaden.

I let her stifle in it.

‘Your mother's leaving,' said Finn.

I tilted my head. ‘And?'

‘I've been here two weeks,' Aileen interjected, as if I needed her to give me an excuse or something.

‘And…' I said again.

‘There's something she should be telling you before she goes,' said Finn. She fixed her silver-blue stare on my mother. ‘So go on. Do it.'

‘I don't know if I…' Aileen shifted uneasily.

‘Finn's right. I want to know about my father,' I said. ‘Cause get this straight, I don't care what you got up to with old Slimeball. I don't even care if you're still with him.'

‘I'm not…'

‘Yeah, but I told you, I don't care.'

‘If you give me a chance?' she said.

‘Yes, Hannah,' said Finn. ‘Give her a chance.'

I glowered. Mum cleared her throat. Twice.

‘Okay. I'm not still with him for the same reason I'm not still with any of them. It doesn't work because … it doesn't ever work … oh, I'm making a mess of this. I'm still looking for your father, that's all.' Her look was full of resentment. ‘I'm looking for your father and I always will be.'

I laughed. Not very appropriate, but I couldn't help it. I thought about my dad, everything I knew about him, everything I'd found out. I thought about the slimeball Rock God with the beer belly who'd been her last shot at finding him. And I laughed again.

‘You were looking for my father
there?'

‘I was always looking for your father.' She wasn't provoked, which I suppose was admirable. ‘And now I know I'll never find him again, not as long as I live, and if it makes you feel better I'll tell you that dumping him was the biggest mistake of my life and it's made me unhappier than I ever believed I could be and I will never be happy again knowing he's dead.' She took a breath. ‘And I'm not lying when I say I hope that makes you happier.'

Finn watched her, thoughtful.

‘You can't make me happy,' I said. ‘Nothing you can do will ever do that.' I wrapped my arms round my body. My lungs felt painfully tight and I didn't want to do anything stupid, like cry. ‘I'm happy in spite of you. I'm happy with Rory, and Finn, and Sionnach. And my Uncle Seth. Dad's brother, I'm happy with him. He's like a father to me, because you wouldn't let me have the real one and then you wouldn't even let me have
you
.'

Silence. A very awkward one.

‘I can't change.' She picked at a cuticle. ‘I'm sorry for everything but it's the way I'm built. I wish I hadn't done it, I wish I hadn't treated you that way, but you know what? If I got another chance I'd do it all again. 'Cause it's what I am. I'm just
me.
' Her voice faded. ‘It's how I'm built.'

Self-indulgent bitch
I wanted to scream, but I'd lost my voice. There was a sound behind me. Seth had come into the room. I don't know how long he'd been there but there was an expression of fearful bewilderment on his face as he watched my mother. I frowned.

~
Seth, what—

He slammed down a block.

Distantly I could hear the yells and shrieks and splashes continuing without him, but they seemed fainter now, and further away. When Finn reached out a hand, Seth took it.

‘Time we left, you and me,' she said. ‘Aileen?'

‘What?' Her eyes slid from Finn to Seth, and her throat jerked. She couldn't take her yearning gaze off him. Good. I hoped it hurt.

‘You need to tell Hannah everything. About her father.'

‘Listen, I don't know what you expect from me. I don't have a photographic bloody memory.' Seth's presence had made Mum aggressive and haughty. ‘I'll try, but…'

‘No,' said Finn. She kicked a stool across to my mother's chair. ‘Just remember what happened. You don't even need to talk.'

‘I don't know what you…'

‘Trust me.' Finn smiled.

My mother looked like that was the last thing on her mind.

Letting go of Seth's hand, Finn put her hand against Aileen's face. Taken completely aback, my mother forgot even to flinch. Finn's eyes lit, and she froze.

My mother looked dizzy, and sick, but she couldn't move. After long seconds, she gave a shocked cry and jerked away, slapping at Finn's hand.