I'd Rather Not Be Dead (24 page)

“Rain?” He frowns at the
linoleum floor. “Your kid sister, right? Not the stuff from
clouds?”

“She had a dream.” I lean close
even though there's no one to overhear me. He turns his head to
watch. “A dream her big sister went over a cliff and died.”

His face is still for a few
seconds, his eyes locked on mine. “And you don't think it's a
coincidence?”

“It could have been,” I admit.
His eyes aren't so much as blinking and our faces are close enough
his fills my entire vision, yet I have no idea what he's thinking.
“But Finn and I walked out to where I woke up. It's right next to a
decent drop.”

He shifts ever so slightly away
and nods slowly. “It's possible then. Does she know when it
happens?”

“No.” My shoulders slump with
the negative and my chin drops onto my knees. “But before
winter.”

“Not much time then,” he
remarks, scratching a point just below his ear.

Shaking my head, I agree.
“No.”

With a sad smile, he moves a
loose shaft of hair from my cheek to behind my ear. “We'll have to
figure something out fast then, won't we?”

“Yeah,” I whisper, my heart
whimpering a little. There's no point in trying and I think we all
know it.

Fray's lips twitch as he moves
back enough to glance into the store depths. His eyes dance with
amusement when he looks back to me. “You'd best get over to the boy
before his customer there decides he has an irrational hatred of
cash registers.”

“What?” Startled, I look over to
where Finn stands at the edge of an aisle. He quickly moves his
head, pretending he wasn't watching me.

“Can't blame him for being
jealous,” Fray drawls. “I'm clearly the more handsome of us. The
wittier. The wiser... Hey, why do you like him more anyway?”

I smack Fray's shoulder. “He
doesn't live somewhere with deer heads on the wall.”

“I knew it was something shallow
like that.” He winks at me, waves toward Finn, and vanishes.

Finn's started on his way back
over here already, customer in tow, so I stay put and wait for him.
His eyes focus on me while he walks but he forces them away when he
gets behind the till. The tight smile he wore for me is replaced by
a broader, easier, and less genuine one as he rings up the purchase
and runs the man's credit card. He's still smiling as the man
leaves but the expression drops the instant the door shuts.

Silently, Finn bends his head
and starts to count the money in the till, apparently deciding to
close out a few minutes early. Not sure if I should be saying
something, I sweep the floors while he works with the cash register
and makes sure everything's in order for the morning.

“What did Fray say?” he asks as
I come to a stop, surprising me with the sudden sound.

“Um...” I lean the broom against
the wall I found it on. “Nothing really. He wasn't too happy Rain
didn't get a date for us. And he wasn't at all surprised to hear
about you and me.”

Finn watches me silently for a
few heartbeats. “But he did hear about that?”

Squinting in confusion, I cross
the space between us. “It was right there at the front of my mind
when he popped in. You know, like it's been all day?”

Turning hastily, Finn goes to
the security monitor on the wall and punches a bunch of buttons on
it. “Come on,” he says. “We have thirty seconds to split.”

Still confused, I shrug and go
to the door, waiting for Finn to open it in case there's anyone
around to notice.

The shopping district's
virtually deserted. A handful of businesses still have lights on,
but most of the stores have shut up already and there's nothing
interesting until the theater six blocks up. Finn locks the door
and then stares at it like he's forgotten he was in a hurry to
leave.

I reach my hand into his jacket
pocket in a way that's already become comfortably familiar. He
squeezes back at my fingers, then starts down the street.

“I'm sorry,” he says, his eyes
on the sidewalk and his thumb rubbing the side of my hand.

“What'd you do now?”

He smiles faintly. “I'm sorry
for being an ass about Fray. It's just... You two are so...” His
head shakes. “Never mind. I was being a jerk and I'm sorry.”

Squeezing his hand, I wonder
what to say. Fray and I are flirtatious. It's just the way we are,
but I don't think I want to get into how I know for certain the
flirting was never meant to go anywhere.

“Your line,” Finn says, “is 'Why
start apologizing now? You've always been a jerk.'”

I laugh. “And too stupid to
count. That was two lines.”

“That's my girl.”

“Good lord,” I whisper. “I'm
Cooper Finnegan's girl?”

He grins at me. “Don't let it go
to your head.”

“Go to my head?” I exclaim, my
eyes wide with dramatic horror. “It's a good thing I'm dead because
if anyone saw me with you, I'd die of embarrassment.”

“Ouch. Uncle. You win. Just stop
before you make me cry.” He tugs me into an ally that will hide us
from being spotted from Main Street.

“Oh, big strong football player
can't handle-”

The taunt is silenced as he pins
me against a rough brick wall and slams his mouth over mine. It's
several minutes before he takes his lips away. “Knew that would
shut you up,” he teases.

“Hey, if that's my reward for
mocking you...” I grin wickedly.

He rolls his eyes and heads back
onto Main Street. “I'm a glutton for punishment, aren't I?”

“I've always thought so.”
Bouncing a little, I catch up to him and slide my hand back into
his pocket. “And I'm very grateful for it.”

Chapter Twenty-Two

Our comfortable silence is
broken near the theater by a group of people from Fort Jesus
flanking the drive to the parking lot behind the building with
placards demanding we not watch the horror movie opening this
weekend.

“You heard anything about this?”
I let go of Finn's hand to run up to the signs and examine one
featuring a somewhat cliché-looking movie poster with a big red
slash over it. “Maybe it's good if they're bothering to protest
it.”

A handful of kids from school
are with the group, Ricky Woodman among them. And, yes, there's
Tanya, shuffling uncomfortably in the back. “You don't mind
harassing people on campus, but picketing a theater is beyond your
comfort threshold?” I ask her.

Both Tanya and Ricky look
exhausted. And they're going out of their ways not to look at each
other. Romantic drama amongst the Christian right? Oddly enough, I
would have credited Tanya with better taste.

The Bible thumper in question
spots Finn, who shoots me an annoyed look for pulling him this way
instead of letting him cross the street away from the crazies, and
hands her placard to the woman beside her before trotting over.
“Finn?” she asks, wide eyes teased with tears.

I frown, wondering both at her
tone and expression. I can't read either of them beyond telling
she's upset.

“Yeah?” He stops to look down at
her, the corners of his eyes creasing in muted concern.

Trembling, Tanya wrings her
hands, looking lost. I could say something insulting about that,
but it would be too mean to pick on someone on the verge of
breaking down, even if she wouldn't hear me.

“Don't waste your time,” Ricky
tells her, striding over with an aggressive glower.

Finn gives him a funny look,
confused by the hostility. “It's almost like he knows my evil's
spread to you,” I observe.

Even more pale than she was a
second ago, Tanya shakes her head. “I'm not.”

“Um...” Finn's eyes move between
the pair as they glare at one another. “Don't worry, I'm not
watching the movie. I'm on my way home.”

“This isn't about the movie,”
Ricky snaps, his eyes still on Tanya.

Tanya's spine is so rigid it's
creating a secondary tremble in harmony with her overall shaking.
Her gaze moves pleadingly to Finn, but he doesn't appear to have
any more clue what she wants from him than I do.

“Are you okay, Tanya?”

Her mouth opens, but before she
can speak, Ricky cuts her off. “Of course she's okay.”

Yeah, that's reassuring, isn't
it?

Finn frowns at Ricky before
moving his eyes to study Tanya more closely. “Tanya?”

“I'm fine,” she whispers,
sounding cowed.

She starts to retreat, walking
backward, but her eyes are on Finn's like she's trying really hard
to tell him something.

“I don't believe her,” I state,
relatively certain Finn doesn't either.

“Excuse her,” Ricky says. “She's
been working too hard. I keep trying to get her to slow down,
but...” He shrugs. “Women, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” Finn doesn't say
anything beyond that but the look he gives Ricky is full of
accusation.

The nuances in Finn's expression
seem to pass right over Ricky's head as the boy laughs and trots
back to his starting position. He keeps an eye on Tanya while Finn
starts past, but he looses sight of her when Finn stops between
them.

“Wait by the ads,” Tanya hisses
quickly. “Not for me. For-” She stops abruptly and tries to look
innocent as Ricky moves to lock her in his sites again.

“What the hell?” I ask the
universe in general.

Tanya switches gears, moving
through the gaggle of protesters to a place in the front, where she
starts chanting about salvation. I shake my head at her. “That
girl's been going at the communion wine.”

“Juice,” Finn mutters as he
starts moving again. “Baptists substitute juice for wine.”

He's frowning when he stops by
the row of posters advertising the coming attractions.

“You're doing what she said?” I
ask.

He shrugs. “I don't know. I'm
trying to figure out what's up with her.”

Folding my arms, I lean against
the wall and look over to the gathering. Tanya's still in front,
Ricky hovering in the back and sending her lethal glances. I've
always referred to The Crusade as a cult, but are they turning into
one in reality? Or is this some form of domestic abuse? Or... Or
what? And who's Finn's supposed to be waiting on? How long are we
going to stand here waiting to find out?

There's a line at the box
office, a fairly long one despite the protest. Or possibly on
account of it. Even in a place like this, rallies against films are
excellent publicity. Several people I know are waiting in the
queue, including Bobbi, Cris, and the other me. No, they aren't all
together. Bobbi's ahead of TOM and Cris, with her friends. Cris's
staring at her like an addict. He'd better get over that before she
notices and takes out a restraining order.

Finn tenses as he turns to scan
the line. I don't know if it's because the old me is with Cris or
because the current me is looking at them. Either way, it's
annoying and I smack his arm lightly. “Hey, you're The Cooper
Finnegan. No one with 'the' in their name should be as insecure as
you.”

That brings forth an expression
somewhere between amusement and despair. “You have some strange
ideas about me.”

“Yeah, for a while there I was
thinking you were tolerable,” I tease.

One side of his mouth slides up
into a smile that doesn't touch anywhere else. “I keep expecting
you to decide you're wrong about that.”

My insides clinch at the pained
honesty in his words. “I won't.”

“Talking to posters?” the other
me asks. She's dressed up by our standards, in a skirt that falls
around her knees and tights with little hearts made out of bones on
them. Her hair's in pigtails for an anime punk sort of look.

“Why not?” Finn asks.

“Because they don't talk
back?”

He grins. “Thus the
attraction.”

Her eyes narrow. She's likely
wondering if he was somehow insulting her with that. She probably
assumes he was and she's angry over not understanding exactly
how.

His shoulders slump a little and
he gives me a look that clearly reads, “See? I didn't do anything!”
With a sympathetic smile, I reach for his hand to give it a
squeeze.

We start to walk away from TOM
but she grabs Finn's arm. We both stop, staring at her hand against
his jacket sleeve.

“Could you give me a ride home?”
she asks.

Finn falters, thrown off by the
request. “I didn't bring the truck.”

“The Hillbilly-mobile in the
shop?” TOM glares as if he'd only be on foot to inconvenience
her.

“She's just pissy because she
doesn't have her own car,” I assure Finn.

The other me lets out an annoyed
sigh and looks over her shoulder. Cris slumps against the far wall,
arms crossed as he glares over here. “Could you pretend you're
giving me a ride?”

Finn follows her eyes.
“Why?”

“Dammit, Cooper Finnegan, it's
none of your business why.” She stomps up the sidewalk, leaving
Finn looking shell shocked.

We hurry after her. “You asked
me for a favor,” Finn says. “I don't have the right to ask
why?”

“No, you don't.”

She seems to realize that's
ridiculous by the change in her expression, but she doesn't
volunteer the information. So I do. “Cris was staring at Bobbi's
ass in line.”

“Oh,” he utters dully.

“Oh?” the other me asks.

“You're trying to make Cris
jealous,” he lets her know.

“Duh.” She rolls her eyes. “You
thought I actually wanted to spend time with you?”

“Perish the thought,” he says
with a grumpy scowl. My hand squeezes his inside his pocket. “Why
pick me though, there were other people around. Maybe even some you
can stand.”

She snorts. “Right. People I can
stand are in such great abundance around here.”

Just before we hit the corner
we're going to turn at, I look back at the cinema. Cris's eyes are
glued on us, but his aren't alone. Both Tanya and Ricky are staring
as well. Ricky and Cris look annoyed, the latter simmering on the
edge of being really and truly pissed off. Whereas Tanya... If I'm
not completely mistaken, she looks hopeful. What the hell does that
girl know?