Idolize (Dark Storm Book 1) (17 page)

She didn’t say anything, but Sasha must have noticed where she was looking.

“Oh fucking hell. Is that Steve over there?” Sasha said.

“I’ll go and see what he wants.” Cassi stood, but her legs wobbled like they would crumble beneath her.

“Do you really think that’s a good idea? I reckon you should call the cops.” Sasha touched her arm.

“The alternative is I do nothing, and then I won’t know what he’s up to. He could go into hiding again and I won’t know when he will pop up again. One thing I do know is I still don’t trust him.”

“Who is it?” Audrey asked.

“It’s Steve, her ex. Just make sure he knows Audrey and I are watching. I’m ready to dial 9-1-1 if you give me a sign.”

Sasha stood outside the café so Steve could see she was there and ready to move if needed. Sasha held up her cell phone so she could take pictures or call the police.

Cassi walked across the street. When she got closer, she considered that Steve looked like half the man she knew. He was skinny, unshaven, and his straggly hair didn’t look like it had been washed in days. He couldn’t stand still and kept fidgeting from one leg to the other. Her stomach churned as the coffee threatened to come back up. She hated his power to intimidate her, but her whole body shook. Whatever he said, it was not going to be good.

“You look beautiful.”

How could he do that? After all this time and even looking like he did, he could say something that could make her heart ache for what could have been. She couldn’t afford to let him get to her. Declan was a decent man who loved her and she had fought hard to get away from her life with Steve. Feeling safe was wonderful for her and Tommy, and she was not going to give it up.

“What do you want?”

“Don’t I even get a hug or a kiss from my wife and mother of my child?” He held his arms open wide.

Cassi crossed hers over her chest. “The last time we were together, you gave me a broken rib and a black eye. Let’s not pretend to play long-lost lovers, and I was never your wife.”

Steve gripped her arms and she thought she should have taken another tack. She needed to keep cool as he was obviously on edge. She looked across to Sasha, who was about to move across. Cassi put up her hand to stall her.

“Okay, that was the past, Steve. I’ve a new life here now, so what do you want? We both know we can’t pick up where we left off. I don’t want to anyway.”

He glanced around, peering over his shoulder as if he was expecting someone to be there.

“I need money. I’ve got some guys after me and if I don’t get the money soon, they’ll kill me. You’re with some rich Hollywood dude now. If you can get the money for me, I’ll disappear and you’ll never see me again.”

Her blood ran cold as she stared at him. He was honest about wanting the cash, she just worried what was coming next when she refused to give it to him.

“I won’t ask him for money.”

“For fuck’s sake, Cassi. I need ten thousand dollars or I’m dead. It’s pocket money to him. If you don’t, I’ll make it so he won’t want you or the kid no more.”

“What do you mean?” It was a warm day, but she felt cold to the core as dread washed over her.

“I’ve got pictures that I could sell to the press. He won’t want you when he sees what you did with a whole bunch of guys. You remember those times you woke up sore and couldn’t remember? I shared some of my drugs with you. The guys paid me well. Even Hollywood celebrities don’t want whores for partners. I could make you the next big porn star.”

Cassi had considered him weak and mean but now understood how much she had been used.

“Here’s my cell number. I need the money within the week, so don’t mess me about.” He grabbed her before she could move away and forced a kiss on her, thrusting his tongue into her mouth.

She pushed him away, wiping the filth of him off her face.

Sasha was next to her. “Piss off, Steve. The cops are on their way.”

“Love you, too, Sasha. Not the greeting I thought you would give an old friend after so many years.”

“We were never friends.”

He smiled and walked away as Cassi grabbed Sasha’s arm. She could hardly catch her breath and would pass out if she didn’t have the support.

“Take a deep breath. He’s gone now. Let’s get back to Audrey and talk. I’ll call the cops and say he’s gone.”

Cassi didn’t argue and allowed herself to be guided back down the road by her two friends. She had such wonderful people in her life now, and yet seeing Steve made her feel like a wormhole was pulling her backward. Her breath caught in her throat like it was going into spasms. They made it through the door of the building they were going to convert and she sat down on the old couch.

“You’re not driving anywhere yet. Take a swig of this,” Audrey said as she pulled an elegant flask from her purse.

Cassi lifted the flask to her nose and could smell whiskey. She didn’t normally drink it, but at this moment she needed some liquid Prozac. Her hands were trembling so much she dribbled some of the contents down her chin. It burned as it went down her throat, but she felt a warmth in her stomach that she knew would bring calm. She handed the flask back to Audrey and wondered what else was hidden in her bag.

“Hell, he looked a mess, Cassi. What did he say? Because I’d kill the bastard if I could. He has only ever brought you misery.”

“He wants money. He always wanted money. He owes people and said they’ll kill him if he can’t find it.”

Sasha paced back and forth, then turned to her. “I knew it. Leopards don’t change their spots. He saw you had a rich boyfriend and thought he would cash in.”

“It’s what I was afraid of, and why I didn’t want to drag Declan into my life.”

Audrey touched her chin and turned her face toward her.

“I accept that I’ve not known you both long and that your friendship goes back a long way. What I do know is you’re a decent person, and this man took advantage of you at a time when you were young and vulnerable. Declan seems honorable, and I don’t think you dragged him into your life. He wants to be there.”

Cassi looked at this woman and wondered how she could put everything so true into a few words.

She took a deep breath. “My parents were strict and would say I asked for this. That I am getting what I deserve. I was just meant to marry a good Christian man of their choice.”

Cassi went on to explain to Audrey how she rebelled and went off with the good-looking bad guy. To be an artist’s muse was all she’d wanted back then. It turned to disaster, though.

“You left him years ago. Why did he think you would agree to this?”

Cassi didn’t want to say anything. Sasha would be angry with what happened to her, but she couldn’t stand the thought of Audrey looking at her with pity.

“He says he has pictures of me that would destroy my relationship with Declan.”

Sasha went to ask something, but Cassi shook her head and it was heeded.

“My darling, he is just a low-down blackmailer, and you can’t let him get away with this. He’ll be back for more. They always are. So what are you going to do?” Audrey asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ll go back and tell Declan. I swore to myself there would be no point in having secrets from each other. Our worlds are too different, and it will come back and bite us on the butt. Let’s go back.”

“Whatever happens with you and Declan, I also believe in you and I believe we should continue with this venture. You deserve to have good things in your life,” Audrey said.

Cassi’s eyes watered and her throat caught at this woman’s acceptance of her now she knew about her past. She hugged her and walked out to the car. Sasha drove and dropped Audrey off at the village. Then they made their way back home. Would it be home for much longer? As they walked in the front door, Cassi went to find Tommy. He was outside playing with Duke. Jack came over.

“You all right? You look really pale.”

She saw Sasha look at him and shake her head.

“I’m fine, just the heat getting to me.”

He turned and dived back in the pool, even if he seemed disappointed with the answer. The evening didn’t go any better as she went through the motions of looking after Tommy. She wanted anger to deal with this, but her mind and body just felt lost as tears waited just a second away.

Declan came home late and she was in their room. She couldn’t make conversation downstairs. Tommy was asleep and she sat on the bed with a pillow pulled tight against her chest. For some reason, she needed a barrier between her and Declan. She didn’t know what was said downstairs. He came straight across and sat on the bed next to her. He reached out to take her hand, but she pulled away.

“I don’t know what has happened, but I can guess it has something to do with Steve. You told me about him and I still want you. I want you to know whatever happened today won’t change that.” He sat there patiently.

“He wants money, and I said no. He says he has pictures of me. Pictures that could destroy you by association.”

She didn’t want to destroy his career. All she seemed to do was destroy other people’s lives and she didn’t want to do that to him.

“I don’t care.”

“You will.” They sat there for a while, not saying anything as she tried to build up the courage to speak.

“Before I left Steve, I woke up one day covered in bruises and knew I’d been violated. I was bleeding down there, everywhere. Tommy was crying and I cared for him, but I felt strange. When Steve came home, I said I should go to the hospital. He said I’d been willing and taken some drugs. That we played up his fantasies and he was sorry he’d been a bit rough. He said it would get us in trouble with the cops if they tested me for drugs, so I never went to get checked out. I couldn’t remember anything about that night. I was scared and did what he said. He had this way of making me believe things even though I guessed they were not true.”

Declan was fisting his hands. She wanted to reach out and say “don’t worry, it’s the past for me”, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t touch him right now. She felt so soiled.

“It happened again, and the second time, I didn’t believe his story. He got angry and said I should be there for him. He beat me. When he passed out on the floor from drugs, I left with Tommy in my arms. Today he told me that the times I can’t remember were because of the drugs and were filmed. I was with multiple partners. It paid his debts. When I left, the debts built up and he didn’t have me to pay them off.”

“For Christ’s sake, let me hold you. It’s killing me watching you sit there not letting me in.”

Tears fell down her face as she stared at this glorious man who she had grown to love in such a short time. Even after what she had told him, it made no difference. She opened her arms and he moved across the bed and wrapped her in his. He sat back and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. When they lay down, he hugged her and said nothing for a long while. She didn’t think sleep would come easily for either of them and eventually he spoke again.

“I would give you any amount of money you needed, but I feel that would only make him come back again.”

“I know. I also knew you would say that. I’ve already told him I’m not giving him anything.”

“Whatever happens, we’ll get through it together. Do you want me to get Connor to come and live here again?”

“I think it would be a good idea. If they can find out where Steve is, I would feel safer. I don’t want him anywhere near Tommy.”

Declan sat on the edge of the bed and made the calls. He was wonderful, but somehow she didn’t feel as if she belonged here anymore. She lay there and listened to his breathing slow, as the night passed away and he slept. It had been wonderful while it lasted, but it was about to fall apart. She knew Steve well enough to know he was not going to give up easily. She hated to admit it to herself, but no matter how wonderful this relationship seemed, it was living on borrowed time.

Chapter Thirteen

Tommy was up and happy as if he didn’t have a care in the world. It was the way he should be. He sat there chomping on his cereal as she tried to eat a piece of toast. It was like chewing cardboard as her stomach turned over. Looking in the bathroom mirror that morning showed shadows beneath her eyes from the lack of sleep. Once Tommy was done, Cassi drove him to preschool. She needed to talk to Declan and it would be good if Tommy wasn’t there.

Declan said he didn’t need to go to the studio until lunchtime, and would stay with her until they heard something back from the security company. The cops said they would be on the lookout for Steve, but nobody knew where he was. He said he would contact her today, but she just didn’t know how.

All she could keep thinking was that this would all be sorted if she just left with Tommy and disappeared. It must have showed on her face because Declan hugged her when she came back. They sat down on the couch and he took her hand in his.

“Tell me I’m wrong, but you looked like you were thinking of running upstairs and packing your bags.”

Cassi bit her bottom lip, but she wouldn’t lie to him. “You have to admit it makes sense and life would be easier if Tommy and I weren’t here.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment and she knew she was right.

“I can tell by your face you agree.”

“You’re right, and you’re wrong. What you saw was me contemplating for one moment a life without you in it, and I don’t like that scenario one bit.”

Declan leaned forward and kissed her on the lips. She opened to him as always. This was wonderful, but not rational. Their kiss was broken by the sound of the door to the patio opening and Sasha walking in.

Cassi felt her body go cold, believing what she was seeing. Steve was standing out by the pool. How the hell did he get past the security? So this was how he was going to get in contact with her. Connor hadn’t arrived yet, and they were on their own. From where he was standing, he would have seen her and Declan kissing, and from the look on his face as he snarled, he wasn’t happy.

Sasha stood before them.

“Declan, that’s Steve outside. He wants to talk to you, Cassi. I told him to go fuck himself. If I were you, I’d get the police here and arrest him for trespassing.”

Declan was already dialing the cops. Cassi needed to keep Steve here until they arrived.

“Let me speak to him while they are on their way. If he runs, we won’t know where he is again.”

“I’m staying close by so I can watch him,” Declan said.

“I’m good with that,” Cassi said, as she squeezed his hand. “He can’t do anything with us all here.” She wished she believed what she had said.

Cassi walked out to where Steve stood next to the bar by the pool. He appeared even the worse for wear than he did the previous day. He smelled of booze and he had a black eye. She remembered how good-looking and smart he’d been years ago. His eyes were now bloodshot and he stank of vomit. His baggy jacket looked like it had been rolled in a trash can with stains down the front. He was chuckling away to himself as if he had some private joke going on. She stopped at the end of the bar and crossed her hands over her chest to try and hide the fact she was shaking. She could sense Declan and Sasha right behind her. It gave her strength to go on. For once she didn’t have to face him on her own.

“What do you want, Steve? I told you I can’t give you any money.”

“Pretty place you have here with your new boyfriend. He’s loaded and playing daddy to my kid, is he? He can pay some for the privilege of that and screwing my wife.”

“We were never married, Steve, and whatever it was we had, died a long time ago. I don’t know what trouble you’re in, but if you don’t leave now, you’ll be in a whole lot more.”

He laughed out loud this time, and did a strange dance where he twirled around. She was pretty sure the drugs over the years had finally done some permanent damage.

“La la la la. I can’t hear you, but I know how I can make you listen.”

Steve grabbed her arm and yanked her toward him. Before she could get away, she saw him pull a gun from his pocket and point it at her. So many times he’d beaten her and her body let her down as she cowered in the corner, but this time calm spread through her. He was unhinged and with a gun, but at long last, the incapacitating fear was gone. She just needed to protect the others from getting hurt.

Declan went to move forward.

“Don’t come any closer or I’ll shoot her. Don’t think I won’t. I’ve got nothing to lose. This is a real gun, not like one of the phony ones you use in the movies. The thing is, no money, I’m dead anyway, or I end up inside, which will be the same. I’d never get out alive. The people I know have long arms.”

Declan took a step closer, and Cassi could feel the nozzle of the gun pushing into her neck. She should have known better than to think this new life with Declan would last.

“I’ll give you the money. Sasha can get it from the safe. Just let Cassi go,” Declan pleaded as he stood with his hands up before them.

“Be quick, my finger’s getting restless,” Steve yelled.

Declan turned to Sasha and whispered something Cassi couldn’t hear. Sasha walked inside, but headed toward the front of the house instead of the den where the safe was. All Cassi could hope was that the cops were on their way.

“You suckered this one in good to get the high life, didn’t you? He looks like he’s soft on you. Does he realize you’re trash? We’re the same, you and I. You don’t belong here, Cassi, you’re mine. We know where our place is.”

“We’re not the same, Steve. We never were. I was just young and foolish.”

Sasha walked back out onto the patio with an envelope and stood about four feet away from them. She put the packet on the bar.

“Put the gun down on the bar and you can take the money,” Declan said.

“No way. You see, I learned a while back my gun is my power.”

Steve lifted the gun so it was pressed against her temple and Cassi heard a click. Her calm from before was gone as her whole body started to tremble. Then everything happened so fast it seemed as if time had been slowed down. There were at least five cops surrounding them, holding guns aimed at Steve.

“Put the gun down and let her go,” the nearest officer demanded.

“I’m sorry, Cassi. Fucked up my life, I did,” Steve whispered in her ear.

She looked to Declan, thinking her life was about to end. Her little boy would grow up without her, and Declan would live to love another. At least she had known this happiness with him for a short time. She mouthed the words ‘I love you’ to him, knowing it would be the last time she would say anything to anyone.

There was a loud bang and she screamed. The smell of gunpowder stung her nostrils as blood splattered her face. She turned sideways to see Steve lying on the ground with one side of his head blown away.

Cassi screamed and screamed as she went dizzy and her legs gave out beneath her. Still, she couldn’t stop the screams being ripped from her throat. Declan was there beside her with a policeman, but she didn’t want anyone to touch her. She pushed people away and curled up in a ball. Her arms were covered in Steve’s blood and she wiped her face and could see her palms covered in blood, too. She wanted him out of her life, but not like this.

Sasha was there with a towel and wiped her face. The towel was white and the blood was streaked across it like gashes on a body. Cassi looked back to Steve. His head had been covered by the police, but he was still dead. This all seemed so unreal. How did her life come to this? She wanted to crawl away and hide. She tried to pull herself across the ground, grazing her hands and knees.

“Can I take her inside and clean her up?” Sasha was asking the cops, but Cassi knew she would never be free of the stain of Steve’s blood. Declan was there and wanted to follow, but Sasha put up her hand to stop him. Cassi couldn’t cope with talking to him now, he was clean and she was sullied. She always had been, she always would be.

He could deal with the police for her because she knew they would want her soon enough, and at this moment, she could not speak. The world was crashing in on her and her whole body shook violently. Sasha put her arms around her and guided her upstairs. She shuffled along, not having the strength to say no. She stood there unable to move as Sasha stripped her and guided her toward the shower.

Her brain was on hold and she couldn’t get any rational thoughts going. The water poured over her and she looked to her feet to see the red-tinged fluid washing down the drain. As she ran her hands through her hair, she felt something sharp pierce the skin on her finger and pulled her hand away. There was a piece of Steve’s skull in her hand and it still had some of his hair on it. The screams started again in her throat and this time she didn’t know if she would ever be able to stop them. She grabbed a mirror from the bathroom cabinet and smashed it. Grabbing one of the shards, she held it to her wrist and tried to cut through the skin. It was the only thing she could think of to make this all go away.

Declan was there, holding her and wrapping her in a towel. She tried to push him away, but he was too strong. She wanted to die. Someone came later who gave her an injection and time seemed to make no sense.

She could hear people speaking. Were they talking about her? What was going on? What was wrong with her wrist and why was it bandaged?

“She appears to be catatonic. I think she needs to be somewhere people can look after her.”

Who said that?

Then Declan was speaking. “Do whatever you think is best.”

It all became hazy as the drugs kicked in and she was moved onto a gurney and taken in an ambulance somewhere. Then sleep came.

When she awoke, it was dark outside.

She was so tired. Her brain couldn’t cope with thinking anymore. She just wanted to sleep and wake up, and all this have been some terrible dream. Or even sleep and never wake up at all. She glanced around the room. This was not home. They must have brought her to some hospital.

Declan was sitting in a chair opposite. He came and stood next to the bed. He looked sad. Why was he sad and why was she here? Then it all came back. The blood on her face, and on her hands. She screamed and then there were people holding her down. Someone injected her. The last thing she could remember was Declan standing by the door. He looked like he was crying.