If Forever Comes (3 page)

I ached, couldn’t wait to bury myself in the
heat hidden between her thighs.

She raked her fingers down my chest. My
stomach twisted in knots as she dragged them through the trail of
hair that disappeared into my pants. Her expression was intense,
filled with all-consuming need and overpowering love as she
forcefully jerked the button free on my slacks, her breath all
sweet as it fanned out around me.

It felt like the most sublime
contradiction.

She leaned in close, never looking away from
my face as she lowered the zipper on my pants, just as slowly as
I’d lowered the ones on her boots. The waistband hung
loose.

The words bled from her mouth where it rested
just a breath from mine, washed over me in an intoxicating swell.
“Ten years, Christian, and it’s still the same. You consume me.”
Her fingers teased at the waistband of my underwear. “You still
manage to make my stomach feel like it’s bottoming out and my heart
beat like it might pound right out of my chest.” There was no
mistaking the passion wound tightly through the words. “You make me
ache
.” The last came with the same desperation thundering
through my veins.

Her movements were dense, as dense as the air,
weighted with fervency. She swallowed. “It’s always been you,
Christian. Since the moment I realized I was in love with you when
I was eighteen, I never stopped. And I promise you, I’m not ever
going to.”

Lust curled through me as she ran her hands
beneath the fabric of my pants and pushed them down over my hips.
They sat open at my thighs. My erection strained for her as she
knelt in front of me. Through my briefs, she delicately ran her
thumb around the ridge of sensitive skin. My stomach quivered and
jerked.

“Elizabeth,” rumbled from my mouth, “that
feels so good.”

Her touch became firmer, purposed as she
palmed me through the fabric in a calculated taunt. Then she freed
me. With one hand she grasped me behind my neck and leaned her
weight back, her hair falling and brushing along the bed as her
body arched. With her other hand, she pleasured me with long, hard
strokes that nearly brought me to my knees. “Fuck.” The word came
harsh, grated from my throat.

A satisfied grin lifted her mouth, quivered at
just one side. “This…this is the way you make me feel, like I’m
going to come undone with just the barest caress. Or maybe I’ll
come with just the way you’re looking at me right now.”

I groaned, consumed—floored—loving this girl
more than I ever thought possible. Sexy and sweet. Innocent and
unbelievably bold. She was everything.

Everything
.

I rushed to get undressed, kicking off my
shoes and socks in the same second I shook my pants free from my
legs. Elizabeth was pushing my underwear down just as frantically
as I was twisting out of them. I forced her back onto the
bed.

She lay there panting, completely
exposed.

My groan echoed off the walls when I sank deep
into her warmth.

A thrill rocketed straight up my spine, spun
my head with a delirious joy. I fisted my hands in her hair, my
hips rigid as I rocked into her.

Elizabeth clenched around me, her body fitting
me like she was made for me.

Because she was.

“Oh, fuck, Elizabeth.” I pulled back and
slammed back into her.

She gasped, lifting her chin with her mouth
open wide.

“Nothing could feel better than this,” raked
from my throat. “Nothing in this world. Nothing.”

Pleasure fisted me, pulled at the knots that
already twisted my stomach in the tightest ball. I kissed her hard,
just as hard as I drove my body into hers, determined to lose
myself deeper in her than I ever had before.

Elizabeth’s hands were everywhere, impatient,
greedy as they sought me out, sinking into my shoulders, digging
into my ass. She lifted herself to me in a desperate play to bring
me closer, offering up every inch of that glorious body.

I took her whole, fierce, hard, frantic. She
was fire and warmth and light. My joy. My life.

My fingers dug into her hips, and I rose up
onto my knees. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I lifted
her as I buried myself in her again and again.

Elizabeth was panting, these short, rasping
sounds forced from her mouth. Her body rocked with each firm
thrust. Her breasts swelled over the cup of her bra, her hair
spread out all around her as she gripped the sheets.

“Beautiful,” I wheezed. “I wish you could see
what you look like right now. What I see when I look at
you.”

Her gaze met mine, full of meaning that spoke
of our hearts, of our pasts, of our futures. “I already see it in
your eyes.”

Her legs began to shake.

Forever
.

I drove into her.

And I could feel it when she came, could feel
her pleasure as she clenched around my cock. That pleasure rose in
waves, lifting her back from the bed as she cried out my
name.

I slammed into her, devouring her, taking what
had always been mine.

Hooking her legs over my arms, I gripped her
by the back of the waist, would do anything to get her closer.
Leaning back, I lifted my face toward the ceiling and let myself
go.

Forever
.

Ecstasy hit me. Intensely. Wholly. I throbbed
as I poured into her, this bliss that spread out to saturate every
cell of my body.

Forever
.

Elizabeth was my forever.

I twitched and jerked. Inhaling raggedly, I
sucked air into my empty lungs. I attempted to loosen my fingers
anchored in her flesh.

Elizabeth gasped for a breath of her own. I
slumped down on top of her, feeling an absurd grin spread across my
face as I did. But I couldn’t stop it. I was happy. So happy, it
contented every cell within me, erased every dark night I’d ever
spent without her.

I kissed her on the mouth and leaned up on my
elbow to brush back the sweat-dampened hair matted to her
forehead.

She smiled, her eyes all alight with the love
that would never let us go.

My pulse stuttered.

Elizabeth would never stop stealing my
breath.

Because she possessed my soul.

Her brown eyes blinked up at me, and a soft,
sleepy smile spread across her full lips.

“What are we waiting for, Elizabeth?” came as
an unstoppable request from the depths of my soul. I pulled back.
One hand gripped her hip as I searched her face.

Softly her lips parted, her presence invading
my space, stealing my senses.

“What do you mean?” she asked. Her expression
worked to grasp my meaning, a hunch clearly taking hold in the line
that dented her brow.

“Waiting to get married…waiting to add to our
family. What are we waiting for? This is what we both want. It’s
what’s good for us. What’s good for Lizzie. I know we planned on
waiting, but…”

After everything we’d been through in the last
year, me making contact with my daughter for the first time in her
life, just days before she turned five, the way Elizabeth and I had
struggled through the months as she’d tried to shut me out, the
disaster we’d created in the wake of this passion that could never
be contained. And our reconciliation that had finally cut through
all the shit that had held us back. We’d thought it best to wait.
To give ourselves time to adjust to this new life, to learn how to
be the family we were always meant to be.

But that’s what we already were.

A family.

I wanted it in name. I wanted it in
reality.

The words rushed up my throat, flooded from my
mouth. “I want it all, and I want it now. I want it with you,
Elizabeth.”

“Christian—”

“Please, don’t say anything right now. I just
want you to think about it.”

She grabbed my face. “I don’t need to think
about it. I’m ready for this. I’m ready for you. I’m ready for
us
. There are no questions left.”

Then she smiled, a twist of her mouth that
said it all.

Relief and joy escaped me in a throaty groan.
It was all I wanted, to spend my life with her, to spend it with
our daughter, to live for my family, to watch it grow.

Loving fingers trailed down my back, before
she wrapped both arms around me in a tender embrace.

Rolling onto my back, I grabbed for her and
tugged her flat onto my chest. Everything thrummed between us, the
spastic beat of our hearts, our love, the trust that had once again
bonded us together.

And I silently swore I’d never do anything to
break it again.

I gentled my fingers through her hair, and her
breath left her in a contented sigh. We laid like that for what
seemed like hours, both of us silent as we stared out the window at
the blanket of winter that held in the city lights. Snow still
flitted across the sky, and the deepest calm settled over
us.

Elizabeth’s fingers played at my collarbone,
and she ran lazy circles over my skin as her heart began to slow
and find rest with mine. “I’m so happy, Christian.” Her voice bled
into the dimness of the room like a declaration, a profession
made.

Her confession took root somewhere deep inside
me and swelled within my chest. I cupped her face and tilted it up
so I could look at her, my tone tightened in emphasis.

“You make me happy. You always have. There’s
something about you, Elizabeth, just being in a room with you, that
brings me joy.”

She trembled an impassioned smile and ran her
fingertips along my bottom lip. “I get to spend my life with my
best friend.” That smile strengthened with emotion. “There’s
nothing more perfect than that.”

My eyes dropped closed.
My best friend
.
They fluttered open to meet with hers. “Perfect.”

Everything was perfect.

Present Day

God, I missed her. Missed her so much it
paralyzed me, left me without a will. Because this wasn’t about
betrayal, not something she or I had caused. This was something
that neither of us could control. This was unfair, unjust. This was
torture.

“Hey, man, we’re getting ready to close
up.”

Jarred from my stupor, I scrubbed a palm over
my face to wake myself up, swayed a little as I tried to find my
footing. I struggled to focus as I signed the tab he slid my
way.

“You okay?” Kurt asked, eyeing me as he
gathered the receipt.

The laugh that escaped me was humorless.
“Yeah, I’m fucking
perfect
.”

Present Day, Late
September

Remnants of our devastation simmered just
beneath the surface of my skin. A constant, nagging reminder of
what I had lost. I’d do anything to purge them from my mind. Yet,
at the same time, I clung to them. I clung to the memories that
haunted my heart because they somehow comforted me. Those months
that I’d been favored enough to spend in Elizabeth’s arms, with
Lizzie by my side, those days we’d laughed and loved as we’d lost
ourselves in expectation—I wanted to hang onto them.

God, I wanted to hang onto
Elizabeth.

I rammed the heels of my hands in my
eyes.

Fuck
.

This wasn’t the life we were supposed to be
living. I just didn’t know how to get through to her, how to break
through the pain. How could I make her see?

The residual of last night pounded my head,
spun with the overwhelming urge that burned inside to
make this
right
. I thought I finally had.

I was so wrong.

The traffic light turned green, and I
accelerated as I traveled the seven-point-three miles to
Elizabeth’s house.

Bitter laughter bounced around the cab of my
car.

Seven-point-three miles.

When I came to San Diego more than a year ago
and found out just how close Elizabeth and Lizzie lived to me, the
short distance had seemed like an affirmation that everything was
as it should be. Like maybe things had shifted as they slowly
aligned. Like if I just reached out, I’d be close enough to hold
Lizzie and Elizabeth in the safety of my arms. That I’d be able to
protect them. Love them.