If I Had You (Christmas In Harper Falls) (5 page)

“Good.” Lila smiled, grateful to her friends for
their understanding and help. “Now,” she said to Rose. “Please
tell me you hung some mistletoe in an out of the way place.”

SAM FELT LIKE a teenage boy. It was the last time he remembered
sneaking around, desperate for a simple kiss. It was the last time he needed
to. Or wanted to.

Here he was in his thirtieth year. He worked hard. Charmed,
bulldozed, and hammered his way to the top of an ultra-competitive business. He
didn’t want his sex life to be difficult. He spent his days pursuing clients,
romancing investors.

At night, he was happy to sit back and let the women come to
him. He liked their company for a few hours. A few weeks at the most. A few
tried to manipulate, play hard to get. Sam walked away, no hard feelings. He
told himself it was because he didn’t have the time. The truth was he didn’t
find any of them worth the effort. Until now.

Lila. She slipped through the crowded party like an elusive
nymph. He knew she was teasing, at times her smile directed at him. He
followed, not too close, enjoying the lightness, the fun of the chase. He
wasn’t going to grab her in front of everyone; she knew that.

They sipped their drinks, made small talk, laughed. All the
while staying away from each other. Letting the anticipation build. He was
practically giddy.
For a kiss
.

“I thought about a career in the movies. Everyone in
Harper Falls says I’m prettier than any of those Hollywood starlets.”

He knew the woman, whose name he’d already forgotten, was
talking to him. Billy, Tilly. Something like that. Whatever she was saying was
lost on him, his concentration focused on Lila, who chose that moment to beckon
him with a discreet crook of her finger.

Sam grinned, starting toward the door Lila exited through.
He only got a few steps when he felt five sharp claws digging into his arm, his
thick cream-colored cashmere sweater providing little protection.

“You really need to remove your nails, lady.”

“But…”

Sam didn’t speak again, giving her a look that made more
than one high-powered producer cower like an inexperienced newcomer. Jilly was
no match for the intense blue gaze. She snatched her hand back, watching as Sam
crossed the room without a backward glance.

“Want a piece of friendly advice, Jilly?” Seeing
the wary expression in her longtime enemy’s eyes, Rose smiled reassuringly.
“No tricks, no nasty comments, I promise.”

“Fine.”

“Stop trying so hard. You are an attractive woman; you
have money. Let those things work for you.”

“You think I should buy a man?”

Rose realized the other woman was considering it. Oh, boy.

“No, Jilly. I think a change of scenery. New blood.
Harper Falls has always been too narrow-minded to appreciate your…
unique
brand of charm.”

“I do have a cousin in Dallas.”

“Texas? All those cowboys and oilmen? Perfect.”

“Unique charms?” Dani asked. She and Tyler, after
not so discreetly eavesdropping, joined Rose.

“How would you describe them?”

“Nonexistent?” Tyler offered.

“If it gets Jilly out of town, I would tell her she
could charm the birds from the trees. I’m tired of her showing up at my
parties. She brings down the fun factor exponentially.”

“Mmm,” Dani shook off thoughts of Jilly Underwood.
“Sam has risen in my estimation. He brushed that parasite off without a
second thought. If asked, I doubt he could remember her name.”

“The way he’s been scoping out Lila, I wonder if he
knows his own name. Can you feel the sexual chemistry between them?”

“Are you kidding? I thought that last look was going to
leave a trail of scorched hardwood.”

Rose sighed, linking arms with her friends.

“We are doing the right thing? Backing off, not
interfering?”

“She’s an adult, Rose.” Tyler couldn’t keep a
touch of worry from creeping into her voice. “He wouldn’t hurt her?
Physically, I mean.”

“God, no. Sam is one of the good guys.”

“Enough. I’m officially letting my little chick fly
from the nest.”

Rose lifted her glass.

“To mind-blowing sex, long may it reign.”

“I SEE YOU found some mistletoe.”

“I found some mistletoe hidden from public view.”

Sam entered the room. An office? Den? Like every other room in
the house, there were tasteful touches of the holiday season. Boughs of pine
decorated the mantle above the gas fireplace, filling the room with its earthy
scent. Lights twinkled in the windows, welcoming those inside and out.

Sam didn’t care about any of that. Take away the glitter,
the shine. Lila could light up any room with just her smile. Right now, it was
turned on him — he was dazzled. He felt an unfamiliar catch in his chest,
ignoring it in favor of the feelings she generated in another part of his body.

Lila waited for Sam, letting him cross the room at a slow,
almost predatory pace. This was something she had waited for. Not only since
their meeting yesterday. Most of her life. A teenage girl, writing flowery love
stories about things of which she had no real knowledge. When she was thirteen,
all her stories ended with a kiss. This one, she hoped, would go much further.
A bed, two naked bodies, afterglow.

She wasn’t expecting happily ever after. When Sam left town,
she wanted happy memories. Multiple orgasms, please.

“I like that look on your face.”

Sam was closer, only a few feet away.

“How do I look?”

“Sexy. I want to eat you, and then go back for a second
helping.”

Lila laughed, a little surprised by its husky quality. That
was new. Like the way Sam made her feel. New — exciting.

“I meant, how am I looking at you?”

This time when Sam spoke, he was closer, right beside her.
She could see the silvery sparks in his clear, blue eyes. She noticed a slight stubble
coming through the close shave he gave himself earlier. And his scent. Clean,
masculine. She wanted to lick his neck, curious if he tasted as good as he
smelled.

“You look like you want what I want.”

“Tell me,” she breathed.

“Us.” Sam moved in, his mouth hovering close to
her ear. “Naked.”

Lila gasped.

“I can feel it. Jesus, I haven’t touched you and I know
how good it will be.”

“I doubt Rose would appreciate us taking advantage of
the empty room. You never know when a guest might come in and catch you…
decking my halls.”

Sam laughed, the heat of his breath sending shivers through
her body. His mouth grazed the curve of her ear as he whispered, “You want
to trim my tree?”

“Yes.”

“Unwrap my package?”

Sam slipped an arm around Lila’s waist, his hand running up
and down her back. He gave her neck a light, teasing kiss.

“Had enough?”

Lila tipped her head, encouraging his lips to taste.

“Aren’t we just starting?”

“Oh, lovely Lila, you have no idea.”

Sam kissed along her jaw, her check, the corner of that full,
tempting, slightly parted mouth.

“I meant Christmas metaphors. Had enough?”

Lila looked up. Sam did the same. Mistletoe.

Without another word, their lips met. Their worlds exploded.

Sam knew how to kiss. He prided himself on his finesse. Not
too hard, not too soft. The proper turn of the head, the touch his tongue
against his partner’s. He didn’t thrust; he coaxed. The pleasurable hours he
spent perfecting his technique. There was a time to be an animal, kissing a
woman was not it. The second his mouth touched Lila’s, experience flew out the
window. This was primal. Ten seconds in, he knew without a doubt — this was
better.

Lila’s head swam. This wasn’t a kiss. She knew what a kiss
felt like. Pleasant, warm. A prelude to pleasant sex with a pleasant man. No,
this wasn’t anything like that. Sam… possessed her. Took control. Pushed her to
someplace she never dreamed existed.

She wasn’t worried about bumping noses, or when to breathe.
She didn’t care if she ever breathed again.

“What are you doing to me?” Sam pulled back,
resting his forehead against hers. His breathing was ragged, his heart pounding
like a jackhammer.

“Me?” Lila asked, amazed any words were possible.
“You did this. I’ve never… I don’t…” Apparently, words were possible,
just not coherent ones.

“Together.” Sam took her mouth again, making long
strokes with his tongue along hers. “Us, combined.”

“Yes.”

Lila became the aggressor. She didn’t want to talk — she
couldn’t. She didn’t want to analyze. This felt too good. Right now, she wanted
to feel.

Threading his fingers through her hair, Sam let the kiss go
on and on and on. Lila tasted like the headiest wine. Subtle, intoxicating,
irresistible. He couldn’t stop sipping, taking more until his head spun, his
body primed to take the next step. To take her.

“God, Lila.”

She needed to touch him, feel the heat of his skin against
hers. Sliding her hand under his sweater, her knees weakened. His back was all
smooth-skinned muscle. Long, lean. Hot. Her fingers burned as they explored, teasing
the waistband of his jeans. Would his butt feel this good? The temptation was
too much. One hand ventured under the denim, seeking.

“Stop.”

Sam jumped back. He couldn’t take any more. One more minute
— less. He could have her dress up, her panties down in a heartbeat. There
would be no turning back after that. Tempting. He shook his head. No, they
weren’t doing this here.

“Let’s go.”

“What?”

Lila looked at her hands, wondering why the palms weren’t
scorched black. With the sudden removal of all that heat, she felt cold —
confused. Go? Go where?

Sam smoothed back her hair. He knew how she felt. His arms
felt empty without her, strangely bereft, if that sort of thing was possible.
Cautiously, he pulled her close, rubbing his check against the silk of her
hair.

“Your place, Lila. Let’s go to your place.”

“I’m staying with Alex and Dani tonight. Christmas
Eve.”

“Right.” Family. Sam hated messing with that.

“Alex will understand.”

Sam chuckled. His libido was under control enough for him to
see the humor in her observation.

“Understand that you would rather spend the night
having sex with a virtual stranger? I doubt it.”

“You’re not…”

Lila was going to say he wasn’t a stranger. He was. They met
just over twenty-four hours ago. Had one conversation. Spent the last ten
minutes making out. She
didn’t
know him; it only felt like she did.

“Tell you what.” Sam straightened her dress, doing
the same for his clothes. “Go with your brother. Have a nice Christmas
morning. I will call my family, and do the whole present opening thing
here.”

“All those little girls?” Lila wondered if he knew
what was about to come.

“Kids make it special.” Sam grinned again.
“By noon, I will be ready for a break.”

“Me too,” Lila said, knowing where he was going
.
Hoping
.

“Twelve-thirty, your place. We can take Cooper for a
romp in the snow; tire him out. Then spend the rest of the day in bed.”

“My bed. You and me.” Lila didn’t want any
loopholes or crossed wires.

“Naked.” Sam gave her one more thorough kiss, and
then stepped back well out of range.

“Dream of me.”

Lila watched Sam leave the room. She lifted her fingers to
her mouth. It felt different. She felt different.

Dream of me.

It was funny. Something she could never tell him. Lila was
afraid she had been dreaming of Sam Laughton her entire life.

“MERRY CHRISTMAS, LILA.”

“Merry Christmas, Alex.”

Lila gave her big brother a hug. It was the first time in
years they were spending the holiday together. Alex joined the Army right out of
high school. He came home that first year. She remembered laughing at his buzz
cut. All his lovely, thick hair gone. He wore it that way for the next ten
years, until last spring, when he abruptly left the military. The reasons were
still sketchy, at least to Lila. That was fine. She had her brother home, safe
and sound. Even his hair was back.

“I thought about getting you a blow dryer,” Lila
teased, handing Alex his present. “You haven’t needed one for so long.
Then I realized you can use Dani’s.”

“Mmm,” Alex laughed. His eyes lit up when the love
of his life entered the room. “It was high on my list of reasons for
asking her to marry me. Now you know, sweetheart. I only want you for your blow
dryer.”

Dani set down the tray, handing Lila a steaming cup of hot
chocolate. The little marshmallows bobbed up and down, slowly melting into the
liquid. Yummy.

“I suspected.”

Dani settled next to Alex, her hand resting on his leg. It
was an intimate gesture, natural, loving. Lila felt an unaccustomed twinge of
envy.
Where had
that come from
? She didn’t want a man long-term.
Someday, of course. Not yet. She was only twenty-five. There was plenty of time
to find love.

Sam Laughton’s face flashed through her brain. What? No. Sam
was for fun, nothing more. She was meeting him later.
That
was why she
thought of him. Love and Sam did not now, nor would they ever, go together.

“Hey.” Alex waved a hand in front of Lila’s face.
“Earth to Lila. You looked a million miles away. Why are you blushing?
What exactly were you thinking about?”

“Nothing in particular,” Lila assured him. Her
eyes met Dani’s knowing gaze, making her blush deepen.

“Now I
know
something is going on. You look like
a beet. A guilty one.”

“I…”

What could she say?
Alex, I’m about to have a brief,
torrid affair
. Wouldn’t that go over well? She gave Dani a pleading look.

“Alex,” Dani said, drawing his attention. “I
know from experience that older brothers love to tease. I think this time you
might want to give it a pass. Unless you want the details of your sister’s sex
life.”

“What?” Alex exclaimed, obviously horrified at the
thought. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Then let’s finish opening our presents. Mom and Dad
are expecting us for a late brunch.”

“Are you coming?”

Dani almost choked on her drink, her snort of laughter
sending the liquid spilling onto her lap. Alex jumped up to get a towel,
leaving the two women alone for a moment.

“After all this, you better be coming,” Dani
chuckled again. “Over and over and over again.”

Lila’s blush traveled down her neck. She might be
embarrassed, but she was able to join Dani’s laughter. Damn straight. She was
tired of talking about it. She was ready for Sam Laughton.

COOPER RACED THROUGH the snow, his golden coat gleaming in the
sunlight.

Christmas afternoon turned out to be beautiful. Clear blue
skies beckoned them with an invitation to play. The man, woman, and dog were
happy to comply.

“He loves being out here.”

Lila watched as Cooper jumped into a particularly deep
drift. He disappeared for an instant before popping back out, shaking off the
snow. He checked, making sure Sam was still with him, and then bounded back
into the pristine field. The dog left a big, happy trail in his wake.

“He loves being with you.”

“I’ll admit, he’s growing on me,” Sam said.

“Does that mean when you go, he goes with you?”

“It means I like him. I don’t have room for a dog in my
life. I travel too much; my place in Paris is too small.” He shook his
head with reluctance. “No, Cooper will make someone a great companion. Not
me.
You
on the other hand.”

Lila thought about it. Cooper would be a lot of work. He
would also be a lot of fun.

“Why not?”

“Really?”

“Sure. A woman living alone? I have a security system,
state of the art. A dog would be one more layer of protection.”

“Then I could visit,” Sam ventured. “Both of
you.”

Lila didn’t answer. When he left town that would be it. Lila
would not spend her time hoping Sam would find time to pop in for a day or two,
leaving for months, even years at a time. They would have today. That was all.

She took Sam’s hand, pulling until they fell backward.

“Snow angels.”

Sam let Lila change the subject. What was he thinking? Not
even out of town and he was hinting about coming back? Crazy. Completely
unrealistic. She was right not to answer. They were supposed to have some fun,
move on. There was no future. Not for him and Lila.

He flapped his arms and legs, laughing like a kid. Lila did
the same. Cooper joined them, alternating between licking one face, then the
other. This was what he wanted, Sam reminded himself. Light, easy. No promises.
No strings. Not to Cooper. And Lila? He felt that odd clenching around his
heart again. Damn it. Especially not to Lila.

“YOU WERE RIGHT about wearing Cooper out. A little water,
some kibble. He’s out like a light.”

An afternoon spent frolicking in the snow left their furry
companion happy, and ready for a nap. The corner of her apartment was now his.
Lila would get a regular bed later, for now a thick blanket did the job. It was
as though Cooper knew he was home. He circled once, twice, before curling into
a contented ball. His light snoring followed within minutes.

Lila was too full of anticipation to feel sleepy. Add a few
nerves, she decided. Wasn’t it only natural? She wanted this; it was going to
happen. Sam made her mouth water and her knees weak. He was also much more
experienced. She didn’t want to be a big, fat disappointment.

Lila could see it now. As Sam wrote his memoirs, thinking
back on his many sexual escapades. The best he ever had? Hard to say. A toss-up
between that redhead in Monte Carlo and the blonde in St. Tropez. The worst?
Easy. That little brunette in Harper Falls.

“What are you thinking?”

Sam stood in front of her, so handsome, so sexy. His dark
hair slightly ruffled after removing his knit cap. The sweater he wore, oh boy,
could he wear a sweater, was that amazingly soft cashmere again. This time baby
blue, almost the exact color of his eyes. Her eyes fell on his smiling mouth,
making her thoughts wander. What would he do with those lips? How were they
going to feel on her sensitive skin?

“My thoughts are kind of a jumble. All over the
map.”

“Nervous?” He smiled reassuringly.

“A little.”

“Excited?”

“You have no idea.”

“I think I do.” Sam grazed her mouth with a mere
wisp of a kiss. “I feel the same.”

“Excited? I believe that. But nervous? Come on.”

“I want this to be good for you. Better than
good.” Sam took her in his arms, swaying to a silent tune.

“There’s this little spot, right here.” He touched
her temple, sliding his finger a little to the left of center. “I want the
memory of tonight seared in. You will never forget me, Lila.”

Lila stared into Sam’s eyes, mesmerized by his words.
Thrilled that he wanted to be a part of her — always. He barely touched her and
he already had his wish. She would never forget this night.

Not letting her go, Sam bent, and picked up his phone. He
tapped a few keys, sending a soft, bluesy melody floating into the room. She
smiled. Silly man.

“I don’t need romance.”

Sam held her gaze, his eyebrows arching up.

“I do.”

Sam led Lila into a slow, easy dance. He wasn’t lying. He
wanted tonight to be different from his usual encounters. Heat, yes. Passion.
They were normal. The need for something extra never came into it. Until now.
If he ripped the clothes from her body, taking her here with little preamble,
it would still be special. Because it was Lila.

“Sam? Is something wrong?”

Yes. She was getting to him. In one afternoon. No, that
wasn’t right. Lila got to him in the first five minutes. Downstairs in that
little shop she made him want her — want more. What it all meant, he didn’t
want to think about. Not tonight.

“I need to kiss you.”

Lila smiled. Bright. Beautiful.

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Standing on tiptoe, she wrapped her arms around his neck,
touching her mouth to his. She smiled again when she heard him groan. Her
nerves melted and so did she. Luckily, Sam was there to sweep her into his
arms.

“I plan on spending the next few hours getting to know
every inch of your delectable body.” He kissed her again with breathtaking
thoroughness. “Any objections?”

“Just one. We have on too many clothes.”

“Easiest fix in the world.”

Ten long strides had them by her bed. Sam put her down
before taking the hem of her shirt.

“Lift your arms.”

Lila followed his command. A second later, she stood before
him in her favorite red lace bra.

Sam traced the edge of one cup.

“That color makes your skin look like rich, silky
cream.” He leaned down, his tongue touching the area just above his
finger. “Mmm. Sweeter.” He tasted again. “Smoother.”

Lila swayed. She reached out, frowning when she encountered
cloth, not man.

“Take this off. Now.”

Sam whipped the sweater over his head, bringing her hands to
his bare chest. They both sighed with relief. That was better. He reached around
to unfasten her bra, blindly tossing it away. He put an arm around her waist,
pulling her until they were pressed together. Then he kissed her again.

It was almost too much. Lila was on sensory overload. Sam’s
kisses made every other man’s attempts seem awkward and immature by comparison.
The perfect blend of hard and soft. When his tongue entered, playing a sensuous
game of pursue and capture with her own, Lila wondered if she would come from
only a kiss. Intense. All consuming. She wanted it to go on forever.

Sam backed her up, pushing gently when her knees hit the
mattress. Before she completely settled, her jeans, panties and socks joined
her bra, forming a heap on the floor.

“There you go.”

He stood back, taking in the view.

Lila wasn’t used to being stared at. Especially when she
didn’t have a stitch of clothing on.
Don’t blush
, she begged herself.
Not now. Not when every inch of her was open, vulnerable. There would be no
hiding it.

As that last thought raced through her mind, Lila felt the
telltale heat rush through her cheeks.

“Turn off the lights,” she pleaded.

Sam smiled, thinking he understood.

“Are you getting shy on me?”

“No, I…”

Damn, the red was spreading like wildfire. Down her face, her
neck, the top of her chest. Think, Lila. Say something before he realized what
a hick he was dealing with. Sophisticated, experienced women do not develop
full body blushes during sex.

“I don’t like looking at naked men.”

Lila wanted to slap her forehead. She wanted sophisticated?
That was a huge fail. She sounded like an idiot. Why would any woman with half
a brain not want to look at a naked Sam Laughton?

Sam paused in the middle of unbuttoning his jeans, a puzzled
frown on his face.

“You want the lights out so you don’t have to look at
my —”

“Thing.”

Lila’s eyes widened in horror.
Thing
? Cock, damn it.
Penis. Dick. She had a grocery list of choices. She picked thing. What was
wrong with her? Grabbing the quilt, she pulled it over her body rolling until
she was bound tighter than a mummy.

“Lila, honey, what is going on?”

“Nothing.” Her voice was muffled but easily
understood. “You should go, Sam. I’ve made a mess of this. Sorry.”

Close to tears, Lila waited to hear the sound of Sam’s
retreating footsteps. Instead, the mattress dipped, his body settling next to
hers. No, no, no. Go away. Full blush and tears? She looked like a wet,
blotchy, mess. What a turn on.

“It must be hard to breathe in there.”

“I’m good.”

She heard him chuckle. Now she was a joke? This was getting
better and better.

“Lila.” She felt Sam pulling the end of the quilt,
gently unrolling her. “Come out and tell me what’s wrong.”

As ridiculous as this had become, Lila couldn’t bring
herself to crawl out of the hole she’d so awkwardly dug. She clutched at the
material, holding on for dear life.

“Why are you still here?”

“Why would I leave?”

“Because I’m a mess.” Resigned, Lila dropped the
cover from her face. “Look at me. Red from head to toe.” She
hiccupped. “Wet face, runny nose. A real sexpot.”

Deciding this was not the time to laugh, Sam smothered the
urge. He gathered the distraught Lila into his arms. Using the end of the
quilt, he wiped away her tears then lightly kissed the end of her nose.
Sexpot
?
Not at the moment. Just a woman in need of comforting.

“Tell me what happened,” he smoothed back her
hair. “I thought everything was going great. Did I frighten you? Are you
really afraid of seeing my thing?”

“Oh, God.” Lila couldn’t burrow back under the
quilt; so instead, she hid her face in the crook of his neck. “I can’t
believe I used that word. Penis. I could have said cock or dick.”

“All applicable.”

“I blush.”

“I’m going to need a little more information, honey.
You blush. I imagine most people do.”

“Sure. Delicate little flushes. I’ve seen those women.
I hate those women.” Deciding she might as well get it over with, Lila
threw off the last of her cover, revealing her body.