If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1) (26 page)

“This was nice, but why dinner rather than breakfast?” Liza followed Julian into the living room at his parents’ house on Sunday.

He draped his arm across her shoulder. “Gram’s sister is in the hospital, so Mom and Dad took her to see her. They came home last night, but figured it would be easier to change breakfast to dinner.”

“Is your great aunt doing okay, then?”

“They’re releasing her tomorrow, so I guess she’s fine. Bad bout of the flu.” Julian scanned the room.

Liza saw Ava and smiled they’d sat apart at dinner and hadn’t been able to catch up.

The two of them headed in Ava’s direction. She stood talking to Drew.

Drew punched Julian in the arm. “What the hell did you tell Dad about the other night?”

Julian rubbed his arm and glared at his twin. “What the fuck? I told him you had a bad night.”

“How about you told him you were drinking?” Drew pursed his lips. “I got fucking lecture for half an hour last night because I let you drink?”

Ava smacked Drew in the arm. “What in the hell were you thinking giving him alcohol?”

Drew narrowed his gaze, staring straight at Julian.

Julian looked over at Liza.

Liza shook her head. “I think he deserved the lecture. Hope you got one.”

“Oh I got one.” Julian nodded. “Dad read me the riot act.”

Liza laughed.

Ava motioned toward Julian. “I see you’ve forgiven his sorry ass. I hope you made him pay dearly.”

“Oh I made him work for it.” Liza nodded and bumped Julian with her shoulder. “I even made him say the ‘L’ word.”

“Wow.” Ava grinned. “The ‘L’ word and a baby on the way, aren’t you moving up in the world, Julian.”

Julian pressed a kiss to Liza’s head. “This woman right here is the best thing that ever happened to me.” He glanced over at Drew who had his arms folded across his chest. “Come on, man lighten up. I think Dad was more concerned about the extra Adderall l I took then he was about the beer.”

“Excuse me?” Liza faced him. “When we’re you going to fill me in on that little tidbit?”

Drew chuckled. “Now you get two lectures.”

Julian shrugged. “I deserve it.”

Ava tapped Liza on the shoulder and motioned with her head toward the porch. “Feel up for some girl talk?”

Liza pointed at Julian. “She just saved your sorry ass from a lecture.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Julian winked at Liza.

“Ma’am?” Liza rested her hands on her hips. “Since when do I look like a ma’am?”

Julian grinned and kissed her cheek. “You’re sexy when you’re mad,” he whispered and nipped her ear lobe. “I’ll be waiting for the lecture.”

Liza bit her lip in an effort not to smile. She fought the laughter bubbling up inside and pointed to the door. “Let’s go.”

“What’d he say?” Ava looped her arm with Liza’s as they headed to the porch.

Liza cracked up. “He said I was sexy when I was mad and then he nipped my ear.” Her gaze drifted back to him and he blew her a kiss.

Ava rolled her eyes, but smiled. “You two are perfect together.” She pulled open the door to the back porch and let Liza go in ahead of her. Checking all the doors and windows before she rested against the door and sighed. “I’ve been sleeping with Drew and it is the most incredible sex I’ve ever had in my life.”

“Wow.” Liza’s mouth dropped open. “Good thing I’m not drinking something, I’d be spraying it all over you. Are you two dating?”

“No!” Ava sank in one of the wicker chairs. “We’re doing the whole friends with benefits thing. I’m nowhere near interested in a relationship.”

“With anyone or just Drew?” Liza sat across from her.

“With anyone. Although, I guess if I had to choose someone to be in a relationship with, Drew’s not a bad candidate.” Ava leaned her head against the chair.

“Wait, what? You spent all day in FBI custody the other day and the only thing you have to tell me about is sex with Drew? What the hell happened?”

Ava shrugged. “He’s dead. And we didn’t kill him. Just because he’s dead doesn’t make him any less of a dick.”

“You’re nuts.” Liza pressed her fingers to her temples. “Doesn’t it mean anything to you?”

“Are you kidding me? I left the bastard for a reason.” Ava held up her hands up. “I don’t want to talk about him, I want to talk about Drew. We’re having fun.”

Liza shook her head. When Audrey said Ava was a wild one, she hadn’t been exaggerating. “How can you do that? Just turn off the emotions like they’re not even there. Julian left me and I was a mess. You spent the day in FBI custody, lost your ex-husband, and all you want to do is talk about how great the sex with Drew is?”

Ava shrugged. “Why would I want to talk about that crap? It brings up bad memories. I want to talk about the one positive thing in my life right now.”

“I guess I can see your point.” Liza didn’t understand Ava’s reasons, but there was no convincing her of anything else. “I had what I considered a fling in college. We dated for about a month—”

“Honey, a fling has nothing to do with a relationship. I’ve had flings – they last one or two times. Three times at the most. I can’t even call what Drew and I are doing a fling. Too much time spent together.”

“Then why don’t you two date?” Liza found herself frustrated with Ava. She liked her, but she was definitely different. “I mean if you’re not seeing anyone else, then what’s stopping you from dating?”

“Dating involves a commitment.” Ava waved her hand. “Not for me. Not for me at all.”

Liza laughed. “I don’t see the difference between what you’re doing now and dating, other than you’re not telling the family about it.”

“It’s sex, pure and simple. We’re not dating.”

“Whatever you say.”

The door opened and Julian stepped through. “You about ready to go?”

“It’s it time to go?” Ava grinned.  “I’m going to go find your brother.” She gave Liza a quick hug before leaving the porch.

Liza sat staring across the room.

“You okay?” Julian rested a hand on her back.

“Wow — that woman hands out TMI like it’s candy.”

Julian laughed. “Does that mean she confirmed she’s sleeping with Drew?”

“She may be a little over the top, but anything she told me is between me and her. If you want to know, ask Drew.” Liza stood and walked over to him.

Julian placed his hand on her lower back. He kissed her temple. “If you only knew what that meant to me.”

Chapter Fifteen

June 1
st

“Do you have a rubber band?” Liza rummaged through the drawers of the vanity. Why couldn’t she find things when she needed them? “One month. They’re getting engaged after one month.”

She and Julian were getting ready to go to his parents house. His brother Trevor was proposing to his girlfriend whom he’d known for a month.

She threw the junk from the counter in the drawers. Three months pregnant and not even a thought of moving this relationship along. She slammed the drawer.

Julian leaned against the wall. “No why?”

Liza struggled with the button on her jeans. It wasn’t that far of a stretch.

Julian smoothed his hands down her back and around her waist.  He caught her hands and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

She lowered her gaze.

“You’re beautiful.” He ran his hand over her belly.

“I’m huge.” Liza stopped his hand. “If I’m this big at twelve weeks, I’m going to be enormous at nine months.”

Julian lifted her chin and pointed to the mirror. “You know what I see when I look at you?”

Liza turned around in his arms and buried her face against his chest. “I don’t want to hear it. I—”

“I see a woman who gets more beautiful every day. She’s radiant, glowing, and is giving me the greatest gift a woman can give a man.”

Liza looked up at him, her lips set straight. She was still mad, her heart soared at his words, but it was far from a proposal. Oh, he was infuriating at times.

“Why don’t we go clothes shopping after we get done at my parent’s house?”

“I want my old clothes to fit.” She pouted.

Julian chuckled.

She shot him a glare and shoved away from him. “Glad you think it’s so fucking funny.” She stormed out of the room, pulled the hair tie off her wrist, and used it to clasp her pants.

“I get the feeling, you’re mad about something other than your clothes not fitting.” Julian sat on the bed.

Liza yanked a gray tank top with a crocheted straps out of the closet and pulled it over her head. “Should I wear something nicer?” She outlined her body with her hands.

“You look wonderful.”

Liza scanned her closet and moved hangers across the bar. “Your brother’s proposing to his girlfriend.”

Julian plucked at his striped v-neck t-shirt. “Does it look like I’m going all out? It’s Trevor. He may be attempting some grand romantic gesture, but he’ll screw it up.”

“Nice.” Liza glared at him. “At least he’s attempting a grand romantic gesture.” She blew out a breath and headed out into the living.

Julian followed. ”Oh, I get it.”

“He’s proposing after being together less than a month, Julian.” She turned around to face him, grabbed her purse from the table, and then dropped onto the couch. “Nevermind.”

“It’s probably closer to two months.” Julian sat down next to her and pulled her into his lap.

Liza sneered.  “One month, two months, hell even three months, what’s it matter? They’re getting engaged.”

“I love you, Liza.”

She rested her head on his shoulder and intertwined her fingers with his. “I’m twelve weeks preg—”

He palmed the back of her neck as he crushed his lips to hers, with an intoxicating kiss. He trailed kisses across her jaw until his breath touched her ear. “You were saying.”

She held up her left hand.

“Not enough, huh?” He rested his head against hers. His hand moved under her shirt sliding up her body.

She hopped off his lap and removed his hand from her shirt. “Nice try, but not quite.”

“All expenses paid for clothes shopping tonight? I’ll even throw in a pedicure.” He rubbed circles on her back.

She raised her eyebrows and met his gaze. “Quit trying to buy me.”

“Not going to be distracted, are you?”

“Not a bit” She covered her face with her hands.

“Liza, you know my reasons.” Julian raked his hand through his hair.

She stood and moved toward the door. “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

“Babe—” He touched her shoulder.

She stepped away from him and opened the door. “We’ll be late.”

*****

Julian sat on the back porch.

The door opened and Drew joined him.  

“Trevor did a great job of fucking that up didn’t he?” He sat down next to his brother.

“Yeah.” Julian shrugged.  

“Questioning your girlfriend’s logic isn’t the best way to propose.” Drew chuckled.

“I can’t believe she said yes.” Julian let out a deep breath. “I need a drink.”

“No you don’t.” Drew clapped his brother on the shoulder. “You and Liza fighting?”

“Trevor proposed after knowing Ari a short period of time. Liza’s three months pregnant. Guess what the conversation was like before we left the house?” Julian crossed his arms and let his head fall against the chair.

“That doesn’t mean you need a drink. It means you need to reconsider your priorities now you’ve found the right woman. And don’t give me shit about your ex’s. Because neither of those bitches loved you.”

“I’ve been down that road twice there won’t be a third time.” Julian shook his head.

“Come on, you have to be able to see Liza’s nothing like them.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Liza joined them. “Drew, Ava’s looking for you.”

“That woman’s going to kill me.” Drew stood and looked at Julian. “If you need to talk, day or night, lay it on me.”

Julian nodded. “I will.”

Drew headed over to the door. He stopped at the door, right in front of Liza. “And no drinking.”

“Drinking?” Liza gave Drew a sideways glance.

Drew smiled and headed into the house.

“Why’s he talking about drinking?” Liza walked over to where he sat.

Julian caught her arm and tugged her into his lap.  “You know I love you, right?” He wrapped his arms around her and rested his forehead against hers.

“Yes.” She curled her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Why do you need a drink?”

“If I love you and you love me—” He traced her jaw line with his fingers. “What’s a ring or a proposal—”

“I want to spend the rest of my life with you, ring or no ring.” Liza pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Now, stop avoiding my question and tell me why Drew’s worried about you drinking.”

“Because I told him I needed a drink.” Julian rested his head against hers.

“Talk to me.” She ran her hands through his hair. “What’s going on?”

“I’m on a downward spiral, Liza. I’m happy with you, but every bit of happiness comes with anxiety and fear.” Julian closed his eyes. “Makes it hard to love someone who—”

Liza placed a finger to his lips. “No, it means you’re human. If you’re feeling the need for a drink, come talk to me. We’ll deal with this together.”

Julian captured her lips with a hungry urgency. His erection pressed against her. “Let’s get out of here.”

Liza laughed. “I believe you owe me a shopping trip.”

Julian groaned as she stood and held out her hand to him. “I guess I’ll take you shopping.”

“I guess I’ll think about having sex with you tonight,” she countered.

Julian chuckled as he grasped her hand and they headed for the door. Maybe Drew was right — he needed to rethink his priorities.

July 2
nd
.

Liza pulled into Julian’s driveway after eight. She wiggled in her seat and closed her eyes. Could she do this? This was the first time she’d ever done anything like this. Was it silly to get the man who had everything a blanket? It was super soft and was perfect to lay on for the sensual massage she planned. Her hands shook and the butterflies floated in her stomach. She bit her lip as she grabbed the box and the bags out of the passenger’s seat, took a deep breath and headed for the door.

Julian met her at the door. He kissed her. “You’re early. I was about to head to your apartment.”

“I thought we’d stay here for the night.” Liza smiled as she moved past him into the house. She wobbled on the four inch heels. Pregnancy and heels did not go together.

Julian caught her before she could fall. He turned her to face him, took the box and bags out of her hands, put them to the side, and then reached for the belt of the trench coat she wore. “Why do I get the feeling, I’m really going to like what’s under this coat?”

She smacked his hand way. “Not yet.” She feathered a kiss across his lips. “Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you. Now can I play?” He winked and reached for her coat again.

She shook her finger at him. “Nope, not yet. She snatched the bags and twisted away. “Open the box and meet me upstairs.” She glanced over her shoulder at him. “I’ll be waiting.”

“I have a feeling this is going to be my best birthday ever.”

*****

July 3
rd

Julian pulled the blanket Liza bought him around his shoulders. He cranked the air conditioner in the lab so he could use it. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall. A picture flashed in his mind of her lying on the bed in the sexy black negligee she wore under her coat. His dick hardened and he grabbed his phone.

Come home. I want you.
He knew she couldn’t. Shit. He hoped she didn’t think he was trying to control her.

As he was typing another message a response came in.

Wish I could. Love you and miss you.

He smiled.
I love you more.
Julian stood and headed over to the lab table. If he couldn’t have Liza, his research was calling his name. He flipped through his notebook to the page his notes were on. As he scanned through he caught sight of a problem. Shit. He reread the formula. The answer was there all along. He pumped his fist and sent Liza another ‘I love you’ message. He was on the right track.

*****

July 25
th

Julian drug his jeans over his hips, yanked a towel off the rack, and walked out of the bathroom drying his hair. “Hey, while you’re at work tomorrow I’m going to the lab. I have a couple of deadlines to meet over the next two weeks, so you may see a little less of me.”

“You can’t tomorrow.” Liza sat up on the bed.

“Why not?”

“I’m not working tomorrow. We have my ultrasound. We’re going shopping with our mothers afterward.”

“Right, guess I won’t be working, although the shopping part I think I can skip.”

“You don’t want to go shopping for the baby once we find out what it is?”

“No. I’ll get stuff for the baby, but you know how I get with crowds. Shopping is torturous.” Julian tossed the towel into the hamper and ran his fingers through his hair.

Liza caught the heart and moved it across the chain.

He took a seat beside her and grasped her hand. “Why are you nervous?”

She paused. “If we get anything for the baby tomorrow where are we going to put it?”

“My place. We’re not going to stay in this apartment. It’s all right, but too small for three of us, don’t you think?”

“Normally, I’d agree.” Liza nodded. “But since you have commitment issues, I’m not sure”

“Once your lease is up, you’ll move in with me. I’d prefer we did it sooner, but I know how you feel about paying for something you’re not using.” Julian shook his head.

Liza hung her head. “Not to bring up a sore subject, but are we ever going to discuss anything more permanent?”

“As in marriage?” He scratched his head.

“I don’t care about the ring, I really don’t, but kids are cruel. I don’t want our son or daughter growing up being called a bastard.”

“Things have changed since you and I were in school, Liza. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Julian rubbed circles on her back. “Let’s not ruin a good day with this.”

Liza faced him. She brought her knee up on the bed so it was between them. “Any time we’ve discussed marriage you always bring up two things. ”

“Then you know my stance on marriage.” He shrugged.

“Then there’s
no
chance of us getting married?” She folded her arms across her chest.

“How about this? I don’t know.”

She laid on the bed and rolled over so she faced away from him. “Fine.”

“Liza.” Julian wrapped his arm around her. Maybe he could talk his way out of this. “Your lease ends in December, since Thanksgiving falls early this year, why don’t we move you in the last week in November?”

“And we’d be what then, Julian?” She pushed herself up and out of his arms.

“Living together.” It was the wrong answer, but wasn’t lying worse? He stood, yanked a black t-shirt out of the drawer, and pulled it over his head.

“Will you be at the ultrasound tomorrow?” She avoided his gaze.

He sat down beside her and she turned away from him.