If You Only Knew (And Then Came Love Book 1) (39 page)

Julian took it and Gramps hauled him to his feet. “I want to make you proud of me.”

Don brought him in for an embrace. “Then beat this. Come out of this ahead of the game.”

Julian nodded. “I will.”

“Come on, let’s get you home.”

*****

“That was the last time I touched drugs or alcohol until I was twenty-one. I ended up back on the alcohol in college, but at that point it was legal and I didn’t have a problem with it so Gramps didn’t really say anything.” Julian ran his trembling fingers down her arms.

“What a terrible thing for a sixteen year old to see.” Liza leaned her head against his. She had a newfound respect for Everett.

“It woke me up. Gramps did what he set out to do. Hell, I didn’t even smoke marijuana until after one of my doctors suggested it for controlling my anger.”

Liza looked down at the ring in her hand. She handed it to him.

He stared at the ring. “You don’t want it?”

“On the contrary, this ring saved your life. I want you to put it on me.” Liza held out her hand.

Julian nodded then smiled, took the ring, and slid it onto her hand.

Liza pressed a kiss to his lips. “Thank you, for trusting me with this.”

“I’m trying to show you what you mean to me.”

Someone knocked on the door.

Liza pushed off his lap and went to open the door.

Julian rose from the chair.

Gramps and his dad stood there.

“They limited us to three at a time.” Everett came through the door and hugged his son. “We figured we’d come in two by two.”

“It’s good to see you.” Julian hugged Gramps and then took Liza’s hand in his.

“You two are on speaking terms it looks like?” Gramps asked.

Julian nodded. “I’d like to think we’re on a little more than speaking terms.”

“We’re working on it.” Liza laughed.

Everett peered at Liza. “Did you decide if you’re coming to stay with us?”

“Nope. I’m moving into Julian’s.”

“My place?”

Liza nodded. “Ava’s going to stay with me.”

He brushed his fingers over her cheek. “Will you stay when I get out?”

“I all depends on how well you do.”

*****

As the rest of the afternoon wore on Liza noticed Julian’s withdrawal symptoms got worse.

It was nearing one o’clock when Julian leaned over to Liza. He held up his hands, which shook uncontrollably. “I need Dr. Marcus.”

Liza nodded. “I’ll be right back.” She excused herself and headed to the door. A tear escaped her eye. The withdrawals were awful.

Dr. Marcus came out of his office. “I was on my way back to you. I’ve already made arrangement to transport him to the center. I heard what he said and figured it was time. How’s he holding up?”

“Not good. He’s shaking uncontrollably, sweating, and having problems concentrating.”

“We may have to give him a sedative before we leave.” Dr. Marcus walked with Liza to the door of the conference room.

“I don’t want to leave him, but he needs this.” Liza nodded. She let out a deep breath and opened the door.

Julian was talking to Jake. His tremors were getting worse and his shirt was soaking wet.

Liza looked at Dr. Marcus.

“We’re going to have to get you to the center now.”

Liza touched Jake’s shoulder. “Go let everyone know.”

Jake hugged Julian. “I’ll catch you later, man. Good Luck. I’ll be praying for you.”

Julian rested his head in his hands.

Liza moved the chair in front of Julian, plopped down and touched his arms. “Dr. Marcus said he’d give you a sedative.”

“Probably the best idea.” He caught her hands. “Don’t leave me.”

Tears pooled in Liza’s eyes. “I can’t stay, they won’t let me.”

“I mean while I’m in here.” He squeezed her hands tight. “Please don’t give up on me?”

Liza wrapped her arms around him. “I never planned to.”

Dr. Marcus touched her shoulder. “I need to go.”

Liza pressed a kiss to his lips and squeezed both his hands. “I love you, Julian.”

“I love you, too. Remember you said you wouldn’t give up on me.” He rose and followed Dr. Marcus to the door.

“I won’t.” She waved and blew him a kiss as they headed out the door.

Chapter Twenty-Two

November 12
th

Liza stood at the doorway to Julian’s house. Her new home . . . at least for the next twenty-eight days. She received tons of help emptying her apartment. Everything was ready to move here. The crew awaiting her phone call.

She placed the key in the lock, turned the door handle, and pushed open the door. Why had she agreed to live in a house where she had to go upstairs? She moved toward the steps only to have her foot hit something. Looking down, she saw the bags still there from when she’d picked up the baby items over a week before. She stooped to pick up the bags. At least they weren’t heavy. Liza headed up the circular staircase. The opening that led to the master suite and the room they would use for Abigail stood before her. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door to the nursery.

The presents piled on the full sized bed at the back of the room were from the baby shower. Liza chuckled. She walked over, sank onto the bed, and picked up one of the presents.

“Didn’t get much done, did he?”

Ava stood in the doorway.

“You hadn’t called yet. We were worried.” Ava glanced around the room. “Kind of masculine for a baby girl, don’t you think?” She ran her finger across the dark hardwood dresser next to the door.

Liza nodded. The walls were slate gray and the curtains navy blue. “There’s paint in the closet, but we never got around to it.”

“You mean he didn’t get around to it.” Ava opened the closet door and shook her head.

Liza twisted the ring on her finger. “I think I’ll use the bedroom downstairs. The idea of walking up and down the steps right now is not appealing.”

Ava raised her eyebrow. “Bull shit. It may not be appealing, but you’re avoiding the master bedroom.”

“I haven’t been here in months, Ava. We’ve stayed at my place most of our relationship.”

“When was the last time you were in that bedroom?”

Liza looked away from Ava, staring at the closed curtains. “On his birthday.” She smiled, the memories tumbling back on her. A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away.

Ava caught Liza’s hand, and hauled her to her feet. “Let’s go.”

Liza planted her feet and refused to move. “I don’t think so.”

“Come on, you have to do it. Might as well be now while it’s just the two of us.”

“You don’t understand, Ava. How am I supposed to go in that room when I know all the memories it will evoke? Our first time was in that room.” Liza felt her cheeks redden. “Well our first time was in the hallway inside the house.”

“Really?” Ava grinned. “Maybe I should take you down there.”

“Don’t make me remember, Ava.”

“The good times? Wouldn’t it be better to get to the reason you fell in love with him in the first place then to focus on the bad things? You love him. You’re not going to leave him unless he does something seriously moronic. Remember the best of times.” Ava tugged on her arm again.

This time Liza followed her friend across the hall and into the bedroom.

Memories didn’t just flood through her as she walked through the sitting area into the bedroom, it was a freaking tsunami. Tears streamed from her eyes. She dropped onto the bed, clutched his pillow, and held it against her chest. She inhaled his scent. Something caught her attention.

She picked up the robin egg blue box under his pillow a note attached to the top of it. Liza slipped open the lid. It was a necklace with a teddy bear charm.

“I think this is what he tried to give me as an apology when he broke up with me the first time.” She held up the box for Ava to look at.

“It’s beautiful.”

Liza opened the note.

My Love,

I’m sitting in jail, contemplating the last nine months. I realized I loved you that night at the charity event. You were stunning. Every head turned when you walked into the room. Now stunning doesn’t even begin to describe you. I wish I told you sooner I love you.

If Drew did his job right, there’s a jewelry box under my pillow. You’ll probably recognize it. I tried to give it to you once. I’m giving it to you now and it has nothing to do with an apology. Since you gave me Gramps’ ring back, I wanted you to have something I gave you to wear. Every time you think of me you can slide the charm across the chain like you do when you’re nervous. Wear it for me, please?

I love you and hopefully, I’ll be out soon. xoxo

Julian

Liza put her hand over her mouth and dropped the letter onto the bed. “How am I going to make it twenty-eight days?”

Ava touched her shoulder. “You’ll make it and when he gets out he’ll be on the road to a healthier life.” She pulled the necklace out of the box, brushed Liza’s hair to the side, and fastened it around her neck.

Liza nodded, touching the charm. “It doesn’t make it any easier though.”

“Nope, but, in no time at all, he’ll be home, Abigail will be here, and you two will be living together as a family.”

Liza touched her belly. She caught the charm and slid it across the chain. A family. That was all she ever wanted with him. And now with his stint in rehab it was actually a possibility. But what would their future hold?

*****

November 13
th

Julian sat on the edge of his bed, his body trembled violently. He rested his head in his hands and fought the wave of nausea washing over him.

He dropped on the bed. His third day in here and he’d yet to fall asleep. His muscles ached from the constant tremors. Today was a little better. No hallucinations. Dr. Marcus had offered a sedative, but he refused trying to fight through on his own.

It would all go away if he could have a drink. One drink. That’s all he needed. If he could have that one drink, he’d be able to make it through.

Dr. Muller was monitoring his progress on the new drug, so far no rages.

The center took his phone and all access to his money away from him when he arrived. He stood and paced the small confinement. He clenched his fists his hands trembling even more.

“Damn it!” He slammed his fist into the door and then hunched his shoulders before rotating them, in an attempt to loosen the kinks.

One drink. It was a constant mantra in his mind. One drink. One drink. One drink.

He spun around, heading toward the bed. His gaze fell onto the picture of Liza sitting on the desk in the corner.

One drink and you can go to her.

He rubbed his forehead as he stared down at the picture. His mind cleared enough that another voice broke through.
Wrong! One drink and you lose her.

Julian sunk down on the bed. One drink. One drink.

“No.” He needed to be healthy. For Liza. For Abigail.

In his mind he heard Liza saying,
“For yourself
.”

Julian let out a deep breath and pressed the call button.

It took a few minutes, but his door opened and a nurse stepped through. “Yes, Mr. Vitalli.”

“Can you let Dr. Marcus know I’m ready for a sedative?”

“I will let him know. He probably won’t administer it until your evening meds.” The nurse told him.

Julian nodded. “Thank you.”

The nurse left the room.

Julian looked down at his hands. They weren’t shaking.

Liza’s voice echoed in his mind.
You can do this
.

“I can do this,” he whispered the words at first, but then louder and stronger. “I can do this.”

*****

November 19
th

Liza spent the first weekend Julian was in rehab, at her parent’s house. When she returned home, she found Drew and Blake’s trucks parked outside the house. Walking in the house, she found Blake and Trevor sitting on the couch.

“You all decide to have a party here, while I was gone?”

“Something like that.” Blake smiled as he wiped the sweat from his brow. Lavender paint spotted his arm.

“Lavender isn’t your color.” Liza turned away from them and shook her head.

Drew and Ethan came down the steps.

Drew smiled at her. “Hey sis, you ready for a surprise?”

“A surprise?”

“Come on upstairs with us.” Drew motioned her for the steps.

Liza headed up the stairs. She peered at Ethan. “How’d they rope you into this?”

Ethan shrugged. “I like painting.”

Liza smiled. They must have worked on the nursery. Sure enough, Drew led her to the nursery door and opened it.

Her hands flew to her mouth as she scanned the room. Tears stung her eyes and her nose burned. Gone were the gray walls and masculine elements of the room replaced with a lavender coat of paint. Behind the white crib on the right hand wall was a painting of a weeping cherry tree, complete with thousands of cherry blossoms.

“It’s beautiful,” she whispered. “Did you four do all of this?”

Drew nodded. “One of the last things Julian told me before heading to rehab was to finish the nursery. We knew you were going to be gone this weekend, so we figured we’d surprise you.”

“You did a beautiful job.” She went for a closer inspection of the tree. The tiny details were exquisite. “You?” She turned to Drew.

Drew gestured to him and Ethan. “That’s been our project all weekend. Blake and Trevor put the furniture together and painted the rest of the walls. Our project was this tree.”

“It’s so beautiful.” She scanned the rest of the room until her eyes settled on an antique rocking chair in the corner.

“I’m beginning to think Gramps has a favorite grandchild and it’s not me.” Drew chuckled. “That was Gramps’, he said he spent many an hour rocking Dad in it. He wanted you to have it.”

Tears pooled in Liza’s eyes. “You guys are incredible. I can’t believe you’d do all this.”

Ethan shrugged. “What’s family for if you can’t help out now and then.”

*****

December 5
th

Julian sat in his group therapy session. He was going home soon.

Dr. Marcus looked at him from across the room. “Are you going to answer my question, Julian?”

“Sorry. I must have faded out. What did you ask?”

A collective chuckle echoed around the room.

Julian pursed his lips. Normally, he would be mad, but he had been doing a better job of controlling his anger lately. He attributed that to Dr. Muller and the new drug.

“I asked if you think you’re ready to go home and face the world at large with all the temptations of alcohol?” Dr. Marcus said.

“I think so.” Julian nodded. “My girlfriend’s due in a couple weeks, so I’m sure there will be added stressors, but I haven’t craved a drink in the last couple days. I think I’m moving in the right direction.”

“The new baby will add many new stressors.” Dr. Marcus smiled. “How do you plan on dealing with them?”

“Rather than making accusations and running for the next drink I’m going to talk to Liza. Turns out she’s kind of my muse. I’ve done more research in the last nine months than I have in the last eight years. My family said they knew she was the right one for me when I ran to my lab every time we fought.” Julian looked down at his hands. “That’s going to be my hardest test. Going back to the lab. I got a lot done there, but it’s also where I drank.”

“Do you think Liza will be able to help you with that?”

“She loves me. She’s the one who inspired me to want to change. I’ve changed my habits, for me. Because I needed to stop drinking, but Liza and the baby come in a close second for the reason I wanted to change. I know she’ll be there for me. It will be rough, but with her by my side, I think I can defeat this.”

*****

December 9
th

The doorbell rang. Liza headed to the door and pulled it open. A brown haired woman stood there with a camera and a letter. “Can I help you?”

The woman smiled. “Hi, I’m Alexis Wright, I’m Julian’s cousin.” She held up the letter. “This is for you.”

“Okay.” Liza backed out of the way so Alexis could come inside. She took the letter, her name in Julian’s handwriting scrawled on the front of it. She ran her fingers over her name, ripped open the envelope, and unfolded the letter.

Hey Babe. Hope you’re missing me. Because I’m missing the shit out of you. This is my cousin Alexis and she’s a professional photographer. I’m getting out soon, but who knows how soon you’re going to deliver, so I was hoping you’d let her take your picture for me. If all goes well the girls should be there to bring you clothes and things to wear. Love you and I’ll see you soon. Julian

The doorbell rang as she read the end of the letter. “You all had this planned out, didn’t you?”

Alexis laughed.

Liza opened the door.

Ava stood there, a box in her hand, a grin on her face. “Are you ready?”

Audrey and Terra stood behind her.

“He gets out tomorrow, why couldn’t he have waited a day? We could have taken them together.” Liza shook her head. She took the box Ava pushed into her hand.